I'm Dr Orion taban and this is psych Better Living Through psychology and the topic of today's short talk is why successful men use escorts this is the first part in a three-part series on this subject so you'll need to be patient to hear the whole story I'm going to begin this talk by explicitly stating this is not an endorsement for prostitution personally I have never hired an escort or a prostitute in my life and to be honest when I was younger I used to be very judgmental with respect to the men who did in so
many words I thought such men must be losers who for whatever reason couldn't otherwise get access to women unless they paid for it and while I'm sure there are some unattractive or even some revolting men who use prostitutes for this reason I actually don't believe they constitute the majority of an escort's clients in fact I've since radically changed my opinion of these men in part due to numerous conversations I've had with men who have used escorts and in part due to my own experiences in the sexual Marketplace as I've become more successful though I can't
say that I endorse the use of escorts I can certainly understand it and this talk is specifically addressed to women to help them comprehend the types of problems unique to highly successful men who are presumably the kind of men they would most like to Target for a long-term relationship by understanding how the economics of dating change as a function of success women can better position themselves to secure the type of men with whom they most want to meet and date provided they like me can move past the reflexive judgment they may carry with respect to
the topic under consideration let's get to it the fact of the matter is regardless of whether you're a man or a woman the higher your normalized sexual Marketplace value the more traditional dating becomes increasingly expensive in fact the most attractive women and the most successful men often end up pricing themselves out of the dating Market this is why for example it's probably best for a woman to be like an 8.5 if you're an 8.5 you're definitely attractive enough to get plenty of attention and prefer treatment however because you're not like a worldclass beauty you actually
avoid a lot of the downsides and liabilities associated with being fabulously attractive these are problems that less attractive women don't even know exist and never have to deal with they might roll their eyes at this Suite of problems and say oh poor baby can't handle being beautiful I wish I had her problems but frankly that's really an Envy reaction the problems of really beautiful women are real problems they're not problems of survival but if we're honest neither are the problems that their haters are contending with beautiful women receive little to no sympathy for their difficulties
not because their difficulties aren't real but because there are so few other people who have experienced them the same thing holds true for men The Sweet Spot for being a man is probably earning High six low seven figures a year that is more than enough to provide a comfort a and enjoyable lifestyle for yourself and your family anything more than that and Men start to deal with a suite of problems that less successful men don't even know exist and never have to deal with and if anyone Garners more unearned hatred than the beautiful it's the
wealthy people scoff at the champagne problems of the rich but the problems of really successful men are real problems and these men experience even less sympathy for their difficulties than beautiful women do not because their difficulties aren't real but because there are so few other people who have experienced them now you might think that being a highly successful man would be a wonderful liability in the sexual Marketplace and you would be correct after all if a man has wealth and status and fame he typically enjoys very good optionality with women so why would a man
like this use escorts it isn't as though there are a there is a dir of women who would be interested in dating him is it really true that all these men are just immature narcissists who Delight in the objectification of women or might there be another explanation for this not uncommon Behavior among this particular demographic but before I answer these questions if you're liking what you're hearing please consider sending this episode to someone who might benefit from its message because its Word of Mouth referrals like this that really helped to make the channel grow you
can also hit the thanks button and tip me in proportion to the value you feel you've derived from this episode I'm proud to announce that my book the value of others is now available for pre-sale on Amazon it'll be released in just a few days so take action now to get your hands on it I'm also writing original content for my free Weekly Newsletter if you'd like to sign up you can do so on my website finally please fill out an inquiry form on my website if you're interested in booking a paid consultation the links
to everything I just talked about are in the description below so check them out all right let's get back to it the reason why so many of these top tier men use prostitutes is because it becomes prohibitively expensive to date traditionally once you cross a certain point let's examine why this might be the case one of my good friends is a corporate lawyer and he bills his time at $1,300 an hour now that may sound like a lot but it's kind of the going rate for a partner at a top tier Law Firm by the
same token there are folks in Myspace online who charge $2 to $3,000 an hour for a consultation and then you get into the rarified realm of Bank presidents celebrities tycoons and professional athletes who can easily command tens of thousands of dollars or more for an hour of their time however to make this talk more accessible let's just use the lawyer rate as the standard of measurement so let's assume a man is making 1,300 bucks an hour like my friend in the traditional dating pipeline what would be expected of him well first he'd have to spend
some time making something happen maybe he has to go out to a bar on a Saturday night and RIS up a girl and this is hardly a sure thing even at the local meat market so he'll have to have the energy and the emotional resilience to deal with the rejection that inevitably stands between him and an actual Prospect or or he'll have to spend time creating a dating profile on an app that won't land him in the invisible 90% functionally ignored by all women and swiping on hundreds of accounts in order to get some matches
either way once he succeeds in getting a number he'll need to spend more time playing the text game in order to help the woman feel sufficiently safe and sufficiently attracted which is not an easy balance to strike to meet up for an actual date of course he'll be expected to plan the date which will almost certainly occur at some neutral location as opposed to his house several days or even weeks out on the date he'll be expected to cover all the expenses but as we'll see this is the most inexpensive part of dating for him
the meeting itself will probably last two maybe three hours with potentially an hour of commuting to and from the location so he likely has to block off an entire evening and busy successful men may only get one evening off a week if that and given all this time and effort and expense there is of course absolutely no guarantee that the man will even be attracted to the woman in question let alone succeed in securing a sexual encounter and irrespective of the moral or ethics involved this is frustrating because since men attempt to exchange resources for
sexual opportunity in the sexual Marketplace this is why he's there so even if we ignore all the monetary expenses associated with the date itself which are potentially not insignificant a 3-hour date bookended by an hour of travel at $1,300 an hour is $5,200 this means this guy is paying five grand in terms of the cost to his time to go on a date with you and this does not include any of the time and effort that went into securing the date this may come as a shock but most women do not just show up into
a man's life with an intention to make his life easier for most men it's a lot of [ __ ] work to get sex and relationships from women you hear a lot about the emotional labor that women perform for men but it's absolutely true that men perform a great deal of emotional labor for women it's just that the man's labor typically has to do with getting laid and securing and maintaining the relationship to do this men often have to be Charming or funny or cool they have to stimulate your emotions and arouse your attraction they
have to listen to you talk about your day and care about the woman inside your body and they have to do all this without giving the slightest impression that this isn't anyway work for them or that they could possibly want to do literally anything else with their time and attention because if you get the impression that they're just doing this because it works and not because they authentically want to do it you won't [ __ ] them this is not easy to do even the most successful casanovas strike out more often than they get on
Bas women are extremely complex and most men do not even begin to approach an understanding of how you operate in any case dating you requires a lot of time energy money and emotional resilience and if you're working 80 hours a week you just might not have the bandwidth for that dating just feels like another job but a job that you pay to work I understand that women have their own frustrations with the dating process but that's not why we're here today we're looking at dating from the perspective of successful men in these episodes we'll get
back to you later so that's the end of part one what do you think does this fit with your own experience let me know in the comments below as always I appreciate your support and thank you for listening
