there are sociopaths in this world who will embarrass manipulate and even physically hurt you to get what they want and because their brains don't work like most people's it can be tough to see it coming until it's too late so in this video we're going to help you better understand the mind of a sociopath then we'll go over five subtle signs to help you tell if someone is a sociopath while no single trait means anything definitive if you see these altogether it can be a red flag when it comes to the mainstream media the most
heavily emphasized trait of sociopaths is in their lack of empathy simply put they do not relate to other people's pain or sadness maybe if i don't blink my eyes will tear up while it's often used for laughs on tv you may not realize that this lack of empathy has a scary consequence sociopaths have a strong internal urge to manipulate you to understand why here's a thought exercise think about your own life and something you want maybe it's a promotion at work or something someone else owns or even wanting to have sex with someone now imagine
what you would do to get that thing if your brain could not feel guilt if you didn't care about hurting other people to get what you want listen to these two diagnosed sociopaths talk about that instinct to manipulate i am quite manipulative naturally it's just really really built in and i have to have those instincts otherwise i don't get the outcomes that i want because if i encounter a certain kind of person um and if i'm talking to you and i sense a level of weakness um i get kind of the urge to pray upon
that um if i have something that i want to get then i'm gonna i'm gonna do my best to get it not every sociopath is a bad person but that instinct to manipulate is why it can be important to know if you're talking to a sociopath sociopaths today are even considered to be on the same spectrum as psychopaths and it's not as uncommon as you may think according to the journal of clinical psychiatry 1 in 30 people are said to have these antisocial personality disorders so if your school or your place of work has more
than 30 people in it you may be interacting with a sociopath or psychopath without even realizing it the first potential sign that you've met a sociopath is a strange one because meeting a sociopath doesn't come with some gut sense of dread often it's the opposite their first impressions can feel too good to be true this is because they have no boundaries as to how much they will fake about themselves to win you over listen to this man describe how he would get close to people in order to use them i'll speak to someone i won't
really tell them much about me they'll tell me about them and then once they tell me about them i'll kind of form a personality i'll exaggerate certain features about my own personality to match what it is that they're looking to see now a lot of people do this to a smaller degree when meeting new people they'll pretend to be more interested in the things they say or laugh at jokes that aren't particularly funny but sociopaths and psychopaths take this to a level far beyond where most neurotypical people would be comfortable here's a more vile example
from a serial pedophile with aspd he's talking about how he would earn people's trust so that he could take advantage of them the best way to fool people is to help them is to uh ask what they want ask what they need do they need any help doing anything do they do do they need any money or do they need their car fixed do they need the grass cut do they need their children looked out for so if you walk away from a first encounter feeling completely enamored with a person you may have just experienced
the fake charm of a sociopath of course not everyone you feel an immediate special connection with is a sociopath some people just have likable charismatic habits and make good first impressions so don't let that on its own be a red flag if you have this this feels too good to be true experience and you aren't sure what it means then keep an eye out for the next sociopath clue the sociopath stare since sociopaths feel shallow emotions at best they don't get nervous around people this means they don't feel compelled to break eye contact like most
people do listen to kanika explain it here i don't break eye contact very often i had to physically teach myself to blink more often which is really weird yeah and to stop staring at people it freaks them out theranos founder elizabeth holmes was infamous for going 10 seconds between blinks every time you create something new there should be questions and to me that's a sign that you've actually done something that is transformative in general strong eye contact is a sign of confidence but if someone is engaging in 10 second bouts of unblinking eye contact with
you take note it could be a red flag now let's say this person isn't a stranger but someone you already know well a classmate a work colleague or even a friend if you've managed to get into a relationship with a possible sociopath you may want to ask yourself this question do i do more favors for them than i do for most people because of their instinct for manipulating people sociopaths can end up getting more favors from you than anyone else they'll do this by starting small before working their way up to bigger asks they'll also
lie to you and use your own empathy against you i would tell her oh you know my dog he got rushed to the hospital last night we were there late until about 3 a.m and there was this problem and that problem and that problem and i don't even have a dog you might think you would know if someone was lying to you but sociopath lies often go unnoticed for two reasons first sociopaths are extremely comfortable lying they don't have the normal tells like fidgeting a hard swallow or trouble holding eye contact while lying second unlike
the small white lies most people are comfortable telling sociopath lies are way more detailed and grandiose and sociopaths are much more comfortable doubling down on a lie when caught so much so it's hard for a neurotypical person to detect a lie because you end up thinking this can't possibly be a lie because no normal person would lie this way jodi arias is a good example of this watch the various stories she spun up after her ex-boyfriend was found murdered at his home working with travis's house on wednesday absolutely not i was nowhere near mesa it
was nowhere near phoenix i witnessed um travis being attacked by two other individuals who i don't know who they were i couldn't pick them out in a police lineup so what happened i'm not proud that i just left my friend there to be slaughtered at the hands of two other people i'm not proud of that at all i didn't mean to shoot him or anything this is an extreme example but it goes to show how someone with aspd is much more comfortable following up a lie with another lie and feeling no shame or guilt about
doubling down on their lie or creating an elaborate fake story diane downs who murdered her own daughter even tried to use the elaborate nature of her lie to prove she wasn't lying i wouldn't walk in there and say this weird person came up out of nowhere and shot us for no reason and just left i mean that's not a believable story i could have if i had done this i could have come up with a believable story now it's worth repeating most sociopaths aren't murderers many people with aspd don't even know they have it and
they live mostly normal lives but you can see why it would be so hard to spot a sociopath was lying if they were someone close to you finally the last sign that you're dealing with a sociopath is that their emotional responses seem off for instance because sociopaths don't have a natural empathy any condolences they share will be learned and potentially robotic what i'll have to do is i have to logically understand that okay this is an event that people people typically get sad at um so i would have to find words of confidence to give
them you know i'm sorry that happened to you i know that must be hard is there anything i could do would you like to talk sometimes it's those moments where a sociopath tries to fake empathy that they will accidentally reveal their lack of it this is actually one of the areas that the show dexter does a good job of highlighting the writers make sure he occasionally mishandles reacting to bad news i'm having intimate relations with congratulations paul's dead oh another emotional response to look out for is a lack of guilt after hurting you did you
always understand the negative effect manipulation can have on others no i didn't i didn't always understand why people had an adverse reaction to it um because in a way i kind of looked at it like a game um and you lost one particular phrase to look out for is why are you so upset as a one-off it doesn't mean anything but if this is something you hear repeatedly it may be a clue that the person you're with struggles with empathy if you're dating a sociopath this question can also be a lead-in to more dangerous behaviors
like invalidating your feelings and gaslighting you because a sociopath lacks empathy they are going to have a very strong frame when they say things like it's not a big deal i don't know why you're so upset you're overreacting this is why it's important to maintain strong relationships outside of your significant other so you have people you trust that can reorient you because it is very hard to be in a one-on-one frame game with a sociopath there is one thing most people misunderstand about sociopaths and their emotions while a sociopath's expressions of empathy or sadness will
be muted their anger response is actually heightened this is one of the biggest differences between a sociopath and a psychopath psychopaths tend to be more universally detached they have all their emotions under control but sociopaths are often impulsive and actually quick to anger and when they do get angry the level of anger they feel and express often seems extreme so a sociopath is likely to lash out in anger this may relate to the different causes of sociopathy and psychopathy the current belief is that psychopaths are born it's in their genetic material but sociopaths are created
specifically through trauma now it's worth noting that all of these things occur on a spectrum sometimes when you're asked why you're so upset it's because your reaction really is above how most people would react it's worth repeating no one sign from this video indicates someone has antisocial personality disorder any real aspd diagnosis would have to come from a trained professional this video isn't meant to arm you to go out into the world and try to diagnose people but hopefully you feel like you've learned more about the mind of a sociopath and little red flags will
pop up next time one does try to manipulate you and with that conclusion i'd like to thank our sponsor for this video audible audible is offering everyone who watches this video a free audiobook if you enjoyed this video and you like learning about psychology and how the mind works i recommend the audiobook predictably irrational it will teach you a lot about the human mind and what makes people make the decisions they make your logical mind is in way less control than you may think it also shows you how easily you can be manipulated into making
certain mental mistakes and how to protect yourself from that manipulation going forward if you want to check it out go to audible.com charisma or text charisma to 500 500. audible is my personal favorite audiobook platform it's a great way to take your down time like driving or doing errands and transform it into productive time where you're improving yourself by joining audible you get a credit every month to use on any title in their premium selection regardless of price you also get access to their plus catalog with thousands of audio books podcasts and guided meditations that
you can listen to for free with your membership so if you want to try it out you can go to audible.com charisma or text charisma to 500-500 and get a free 30-day trial including any audiobook you want if you like learning about how the mind works i recommend checking out predictably irrational either way i really hope you like this video i want to thank our edited team of andre therese and ivan for working so hard to edit it thank you so much for watching it and hopefully we'll see you in the next one
