I'm Dr Orion taraban and this is cycax Better Living Through psychology and the topic of today's short talk is get used to disappointing women the ability to disappoint women is a skill and it's a vital skill that men must learn in order to have successful relationships with women now disappointing women can be very difficult for young guys in particular because not only do they typically experience a strong poll to give women what they want but they also generally do not have a great deal of options with women this lack of optionality engenders a scarcity mentality
and this scarcity mentality leads them to erroneously believe that if they don't say yes to what their women want all of the time then their refusal is going to jeopardize the foundational basis of the relationship and I have a couple of important responses to this perspective first and foremost it is important to disappoint women because the more a woman likes you the more that she is interested in you the more she's going to want more of you women don't love like men do a woman's love is more consumptive a woman in love wants everything she
wants all of your time all of your attention and if she could she would crawl inside of your head so she could know all your thoughts and feelings you see this kind of reaction in miniature when women get around babies like oh you're so cute I could just eat you up yeah it's like huh in as many different ways as possible a woman in love wants to put you inside of her so that's consumptive feminine love now as I've said before wanting is free that is it costs the wanter absolutely nothing to want things but
it costs you The Giver something to give things this asymmetry means that you are under no obligation to give someone what they want simply as a consequence of their wanting it and this is great news because if this weren't true it would lead to some devastating consequences for instance if you were actually foolish enough to give a woman all of your time and attention all the time and attention that she wanted from you then slowly but surely you will have stripped yourself of a great deal of the things that initially made you attractive to her
this means that paradoxically giving a woman everything that she wants actually results in her losing attraction for you and if that attraction dips too low she will likely terminate the relationship leaving you with nothing as by then you will have voluntarily surrendered all the other aspects of your life your friends your hobbies your personal development your side hustles your side pieces in the service of her consumptive love to maintain a relationship with a woman you need to maintain a high level of attraction and to maintain a high level of attraction you need to continue to
be the person that the woman fell in love with I understand that it's flattering that a woman would be so interested in you that she would want so much of you and that it might be distressing to see her disappointed in her wanting but you cannot allow her desire for you to diminish your lifestyle why because your lifestyle as it currently is is obviously sufficient to raise her attraction to a fever pitch if it ain't broke don't fix it my dude going giving up who you are and how you choose to live for a woman
will not only mean that you will lose the thing that you surrender but that you will move in the direction of losing the woman as well now before I go any further if you're liking what you're hearing please consider sending this episode to someone who might benefit from this message because it's Word of Mouth referrals like this that really help to make the channel grow you can also hit the super thanks button those three dots in the lower right hand corner and tip me in proportion to the value you believe you've received from this episode
because it's your donations that make all of this happen and I really appreciate your support now another thing to keep in mind with respect to this issue is that women are complicated like all people they want to get what they want but on another level they also don't want to get what they want how does this work look if a woman succeeds in getting what she wants from you too often whether she's aware of it or not she's going to start to feel that she is more powerful than you and that is going to start
to make her feel unsafe why because if a man can't hold the line with her who really isn't all that big of a threat how is he going to be able to hold the line with someone else who might legitimately be threatening a man who can appropriately Hold the Line against her consumptive love communicates that he is centered in his masculine purpose that he can tolerate her distress at being disappointed and that he is more powerful than she is which actually allows her to relax into the relationship this is because women's need to feel safe
often leads them to do some pretty counter-intuitive things like shacking up with dangerous bad boys or provoking men to fight with them women like to test how much they can get away with which means that they will sometimes even ask for unreasonable things just to see if you have the spine to turn them down by disappointing women you communicate that you are maintaining frame which means that she can relax into her feminine because she is not driving the ship and I would highly highly encourage men to disappoint their women sooner as opposed to later in
a normal healthy relationship saying no to a request or not being available or not being interested does not lead to the end of the relationship think about it if your buddy turns down your invitation to go to the baseball game with you what's your response probably something like hey no problem maybe next time and then you move on with your life that is an appropriate response to disappointment however it is unfortunately the case that some women especially more immature women can do a lot of inappropriate things when disappointed things like throw a temper tantrum or
sulk in despondency or keep score in bitterness or withdraw affection Etc and don't you think it would be important to figure out if you're dealing with this type of woman early on in the relationship it's better to learn this in the first five weeks than in the first five months or God help you in the first five years and this is because continuing on in a relationship with such a woman basically means that you'll need to constantly conform to her expectations of reality or suffer the consequences which ain't worth it and here's one final thing
to keep in mind men a lot of you are nervous about disappointing your women because you are afraid that doing so will make her less interested in having a relationship with you do me a favor think about a time when you've asked a woman for something and she's said no as a consequence of that rejection did you like her more or did you like her less you probably liked her more to use an extreme example when your ex broke up with you you were not suddenly divested of all the positive feelings that you had of
her if anything her rejection made you want to pursue more and try harder it increased your attraction because she was fundamentally making herself scarcer to you do you see if rejection and disappointment increase your attraction when a woman does it it will increase a woman's attraction when you do it she is not different from you in this respect saying no rejection disappointment these things are like spices food without spice is Bland food with too much spice is inedible there is little nutritional content so just like we like some spice on our food we like some
spice in our relationships and disappointment is one such spice as it tends to increase the attraction of whomever is being disappointed whether this should or should not be the case is irrelevant because that's the way it is what do you think does this fit with your own experience let me know in the comments below and if you've gotten this far you might as well like this episode And subscribe to this channel you may also consider becoming a channel member with perks like priority review of comments or booking a paid consultation as always thank you for
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