I'm Dr Orion taban and this is psyx Better Living Through psychology and the topic of today's short talk is the Trap of the high value woman so I'm very happy to report that I've been doing a lot of consultations with women these days I love doing consultations with women because I love helping women see things from a man's perspective this is important because just like in marketing you kind of have to see things from the perspective of your potential customers so that you can make a value proposition that resonates with them insisting that people should
simply buy what you're selling independent of their own wants and needs doesn't work so seeing things from a man's perspective will help women get the kinds of relationships that they want from the men they want to have those relationships with now a certain issue has come up repeatedly in these consultations so I thought I'd make an episode about it because if several women in the recent past have been struggling with this issue chances are very good that many many women are currently struggling with the same issue right now and it kind of goes like this
usually these women come to me and they say Orion I'm in my 30s and I understand that my time is limited I'm ready to have a family in the next year or two and I need your help to make that happen and I say great let me help you do that so let do a little role play let's say that you're you and I'm the guy that you want to make things happen with okay if you come to me like this I'm going to say something like all right I just met you not too long
ago and this is a little pushy but okay I'm willing to move things along to fit your timeline let's say I'm willing to give you a lifelong commitment and to provide for you and the children I make a lot of money a lot more than you do which is probably part of the reason why you singled me out so your quality of life should improve considerably if I take you on now what will I expect to receive in return and this question stumps a lot of women usually they first come back with some really highlevel
stuff like I'm intelligent and educated and I would make a really supportive partner and in my roleplay I respond okay well that might be the case but I already have a lot of support in my life I have a therapist and a lawyer and a priest and various professional Consultants each one is an expert in his or her field and are specialized in the functions they serve in my life no offense but I don't think you're going to give me better advice than they can in the domains in which I consult them so that's not
actually something that I need from you and then the women start to coton on a bit and they say oh okay well I can give you children right those people can't do that and I respond well almost any woman could give me children are you going to be a mother are you willing to quit your job and raise those kids most of the time the women are frightened by that Prospect and they reply no I'm not willing to give up my career or I would expect you to do your share of the child care too
and so I counter so you're telling me that you're willing to be a surrogate and that I'll end up paying someone else to raise my children so that you can make a little more money at your job sometimes that irritates them and they respond that they don't think it's fair that they should do all the child care and that they're looking for a 50/50 relationship and I reply that's totally fair but that means that you should probably be asking someone who makes around the same as you do that way you can both invest equally in
the lifestyle that you jointly build that said you probably and understandably think what's the point of getting married if it's not going to significantly improve my situation which is why you're talking to me and and not some other guy and we go back and forth like this for a while until eventually we hit on the truth of the matter namely if I'm a high value guy the kind of guy that you want to get married to and have children with the only way that you're going to get what you want is by providing something that
I don't already have and the more I have the harder that's going to be however in general there are three things that a woman can provide most straight high value men they are one consistent fantastic sex two children and child rearing and three obedient agreeableness that improves his quality of life and to be honest men can actually buy all three of those things however there's still a lot of stigma in judgment about buying these three particular things which actually creates an opportunity in the marketplace for women to potentially fill let's focus on this last item
a bit shall we obedient agreeableness that improves his quality of life can look like many things but two of the most common ways of doing this historically are cooking and cleaning oo okay the push back I typically receive on this point is considerable and usually something on along the lines of that is low value labor Orion I'm not interested in being someone's maid or some man's mommy the man I want can afford a maid let him pay someone else if he wants his house cleaned and I say fair enough you have absolutely no moral obligation
to cook or clean for a man however I'd like you to consider that if a man pays for that service that is one less way in which he might need you you can look at these tasks like oppressive servitude or you can see them as opportunities to intimately integrate yourself into the man's lifestyle remember the most dangerous man for a woman is the man who has everything because if he has everything he doesn't need you for anything which means that you'll be a play thing at best next let's look a little closer at this judgment
you have about cooking and cleaning being beneath you as being low value labor let's imagine that we go out to a Michelin star restaurant for a real high-end dining experience the dinner will be quite expensive and it may have taken us months just to get a reservation and let's imagine that during our dinner we call over our waiter and ask for a glass of water and he explains oh we don't serve water here this is a high-end restaurant Resturant we only serve champagne you can get water anywhere and I would encourage you to take your
business elsewhere if that's what you're looking for yeah how would that go over not well right what makes a high-end restaurant is not that it doesn't do what the average restaurants do but that it does everything that the average restaurants do and then some if all the other restaurants serve water you can't really get away with not serving water no restaurant is above the minimum standard of service the high-end ones not only go above and beyond the minimum they also perform the standard of service with class you want a glass of water right away they'll
put it in a nice glass with artisanal ice cubes and a lemon wedge garnish they do low value stuff with enthusiasm and laity because it's the service that improves the quality of the experience which is what you're paying for at a Michelin star restaurant do you understand now let's be honest many of these activities are greatly facilitated by modern technology between my dishwasher laundry machines and robot vacuums I personally keep a three-bedroom house clean with maybe two actual hours of Labor a month a month with grocery delivery services I can spend two hours a week
preparing all my breakfasts and lunches and a few more cooking a few dinners pitching in here and there is frankly not a very big ask which is why I argue that this resistance in women is an ego thing it's really an issue of Pride and as I've said pride is women's greatest enemy it's the number one thing that keeps them from getting into the relationships they want with the men they want to have the with look if you want to split the housework and child care find your Dark Horse find a man who has about
the same as you and build something together however if you're looking for a more successful man to wife you up and give you kids on your timeline you have to be prepared to provide value and this has to be a value that he finds valuable because the cat decides what milk is good and all things being equal providing obedient agreeableness is one of the easiest and cheapest and safest ways of doing just that women find ways of doing this that work for you something to consider what do you think does this fit with your own
experience let me know in the comments below and if you've gotten this far you might as well like this episode And subscribe to this channel you may also consider becoming a channel member with perks like priority review of comments or booking a paid one onone consultation as always thank you for listening
