if you are ready I will impart some wisdom on you right about now I'm going to tell you what I wish I knew in my 20s about men that I know now had I known then my life would have been a lot easier maybe not easier I don't know maybe we're meant to just experience these things as they happen but let me tell you these are the things that I wish I knew I don't know how many there will be it will be in the title The amount of things will be in the title but here I am in my 30s about to impart that wisdom so let's get into it number one doing more for them does not equal them valuing you more let's pause for a second doing more for them does not equal them valuing you more there is this jux position of ideas here because normally when we do more at school when we do more for our friends when we do more in life more value comes out of it but unlike normal things men are not the same they are not the same sometimes they take from the fact that you are doing more for them not the fact that you are more valuable but the fact that they are more valuable what they see in your actions and doing more let's say you're cooking for them you're looking after them you're calling them you're making sure their mental health is mental healthing from that they do not take the fact that you are valuable they don't see those actions As You Are amazing or you like them they see these actions as I must deserve them that is the male mindset that I must deserve them if she is doing them because men do not do things for people they don't see value in so your doing this is adding to his valuessouth postpartum and after I have my children I get thyroiditis which is like hyperthyroid so if I'm talking a little bit faster I get my blood test results next week if I'm a little bit more excited about this it's my thyroid talking okay but the facts are still fating the facts are still real the thyroid might be doing the excitement but the facts are still real number two valuing yourself and putting yourself first and putting a high price on your time does make man value you more so you might be thinking so okay me doing things for him does not make him value me what does Margarita I'm telling you fact number two that I wish I knew in my 20s is men value you through the Paradigm of the amount of time and effort you put into yourself have you ever seen the amount of time and effort a man puts into his car the old Banger that he red does and reframes and does all these things and Mak make sure it's parked in the right garage and make sure it's shine shoe D I know no car terminology so I don't know what I'm saying but what I am saying is in the man's mind the thing that holds value is a thing that time money effort and energy is spent on so when he is assessing you and you're putting a lot of time into him and nothing into yourself D he's done the calculation and men in the comments are going to deny this cuz they don't want you to know this truth and this fact but it is the truth and it is The Facts of Life they will calculate that you are not worth valuing much even if you are the best thing since sliced bread even if he initially adored you and wanted you the value of you will go down and that is a shame baby because you're amazing the way to make him see you differently is to actually put time into yourself and furthermore forget the men in this conversation for a second don't you want to put more into yourself don't you want to put more time effort and energy into yourself because at the end of the day even if it doesn't work out with Gary or Brad you would have up to the ante of who you are you would have done growing you would have done developing and evolving so forget him for a second and understand this stop doing for him what he's not asked you to do stop running around like a headless chicken and then resenting him when he doesn't value you for it and instead understand huh I'm going to put something into myself and in his manb brain he's going to equate the fact that okay she's not doing anything for me that I haven't asked her to do now you're still a kind person if he asked you for help you can help him we're not talking about that or he asked you to cook him a meal fine cook him the meal girl go for it do what whatever you want to do but the point is you put into yourself you want to go get your hair done you want to go get your nails done cool do it let's come out of the nail and hair category you go and do your degree you need to go do your studies you go study you don't drop that and go meet him you want to see your aunt or your mom you go do that you don't drop everything to go and meet him that's going to add value to you number three men don't want a spicy Saucy fight every day despite what romcoms have told you they want an interesting woman in their life but one who will help them see themselves in the best light now that was a really long sentence but let's check it out again we are led to believe as women because we're the ones who watch romcoms or we are the ones who watch 50 Shades of Gray that men want this like spicy Saucy woman who's like yeah whatever don't tell me no no no and then he'll chase you and then somehow make you succumb to his will and you know this is all the like Pride and Prejudice and all that kind of notion that we get if you find a man you really like you need to be an interesting woman one that he can oppose in opinions and have some kind of you know oppositional conversation with that's that's true he doesn't want just like this bean bag of a woman who has no opinions but he wants to see himself as amazing through your eyes that's the whole notion of femininity he wants to see himself as this incredible man through your eyes like when you see him when you witness him these statements of like you're an incredible man or you make me feel safe or all that kind of stuff is really important because he wants to the type of woman a man would struggle to leave and I tell you this many times is the type of woman who makes him feel like the man he wants to be that is the biggest Crux that you need to understand so these romcoms will sell us the idea that women you know that we want to be like this hard to get spicy woman who makes his life hell basically and he's like no Samantha please please let's just be together he's like no because you don't like the color I like stupid that's not what men want and then women are surprised when they act all saw soury spicy and psycho that the guy they want doesn't want them back you've got to have a secure attachment to you and people who are secure don't go around presenting like a psychopath the point is about someone who's secure and confident that is so attractive it's like a Tik Tok I saw where it's like a nonchalant guy she's like oh I hate your car he's like yeah that's all right she's like you don't look like you go to the gym and he's like yeah I don't go to the gym and he in all the comments seen like so attractive by the women because people who are nonchalant and they're accepting and a bit stoic and secure are very attractive so don't be a spicy Chihuahua be an interesting woman with an opinion but spicy Chihuahua no number four it's not about hard to get it's about hard to get but easy to be with you know what I mean you are not hard to get by proxy of you acting hard to get and being an [ __ ] you are hard to get by the fact that you've got a busy life but when you are with him you're easy to be with if you can Master hard to get but easy to be with all men will be yours let me tell you because the experience of being with the feminine or being with a woman you want for a man is all about you know fun it's playfulness the idea of preserving femininity as you grow up we don't age we grow up okay is about maintaining playfulness a lot of times playful is like beaten out of women in society and I get why life gets hard with children and everything and it just gets tiring if you can maintain your playfulness girl you can maintain your femininity and your youth in so many ways being easy to be with is really hard for a lot of women because they build resentment from how a man treats them and by proxy of building that resentment they want him to know how much he's annoyed her and hurt her when he's with her so they do this thing where they're always available whenever he knocks or calls at 4:00 a. m. whatever but when he does arrive they switch on this like [ __ ] demeanor and I love a [ __ ] demeanor that's cool I love it I love a [ __ ] gal but if you're going to be easy to be to to get basically you can contact you any point and see you and that's not a problem but at the same time you're going to be just a [ __ ] to be with that's not how you get people enamored with you and that's not how you feel good about yourself either and that's the bottom line of all these things that I wish I knew in my 20s anyway like what is the point of me just waiting on the phone for him to contact me and want to hang out with me and then when I do see him I'm like didn't want to see me last week bet you were busy doing D no it's not about that it's like this build your life if he doesn't fit into it because he's always last minute then he's going to fall away any anyway if he does make time to see you see him when you're happy to see him see him when you're in your flow and your good energy it's not going to make him change I know what you're thinking you're like but Margarita how's it going to make him know that he shouldn't contact me last minute well say it like a big woman with your chest say I really don't like it when you contact me last minute so if you want to see me let me know in advance and drop it there you don't need to be hard to be with be easy to be with think about it in friendships like if you didn't turn your girlfriend's call because you were so busy genuinely and people can be genuinely busy you need to understand that men aren't like a against us it's like not an oppositional Force right so if he was genuinely like with his family or something and then you were just this angry raccoon at him and so annoying to be with and just weird is that going to make you want to be with him would that make you want to be with a friend of yours imagine you didn't reply to her and she's like all right whatever you didn't reply to me so why would I hang out with you but yeah let's see each other anyway but you're such a [ __ ] friend no miss me with that number five is if you're confident you will be attractive to him confidence means knowing your product has value and by that I mean I see a lot of DMS from you guys from women talking about how do I mention that I want to get married or how do I mention I want a longterm relationship you're acting like you're the biggest piece of trash at the bin that all the juices from the bin and the trash and everything has gone down to and you're just like stuck to the bottom of the bin you're you're acting like people would be disgusted at the notion of being around you or being with you and you're like how do I let them know that I want a relationship with me the piece of trash at the bottom of the bin I'm so disgusting how do I know that me this disgusting bin trash wants to get married babe understand that your product AKA You has value have you ever gone into a luxury store and people are like I'm so sorry this disgusting bag I know how do I let you know that that we're trying to sell it no they're like it's not even for sale for you you have to get on the wait list think about every brand that is luxurious you have to get on the wait list for that bck and you've got to get on that wait list for the Bugatti or whatever it is I don't know caruse but you know what I'm saying you've got to get on the wait list and if any of you come for me for equating women to objects I miss me with that I don't want it I don't want to know it this is not the place I'm not pedantic in language and I love a metaphor I live for a metaphor so if you live for a metaphor you're welcome on this channel and on this podcast by the way if you have not subscribed I would really appreciate it genuinely From The Bottom Of Me art I'd really appreciate it because it's effort to make this and it lets me know that you want this content so leave five stars subscribe follow I'd really appreciate it next fact that I wish I knew about men that when I tell you you will not listen but I will tell you anyway if you're not his type or he is not ready leave it leave him alone he will not change his mind there's nothing you can do there is no cool thing you can say there is no acrobatic thing you can do in the bedroom there is no boob job you can get there is nothing and if he is sure and you are his type then there's almost nothing you can do to put him off I know that's really strange to say but it is the truth that if you are not his type and he is not ready you can pay him a billion dollars and he will not be sure and not be ready and it's a painful thing to acknowledge like when I was younger I thought that perhaps I can work on someone's attraction for me I just remembered oh my God memory flooding back there was this guy that I really really liked and he just did not want a bar of me let's call him David his name did start with a D so let's call him David and and he was just not interested and the amount I thought about him I think it was like an ego problem like I could not believe that somebody no matter what I did was not interested in me but leave it it's not for you because at the end of the day as a woman to develop your feminine energy and to live this life in the purposeful way you want to live it you do not want to be with the guy who didn't want you but you convinced him first of all it never happens but second of all if that's not convinced you this will the fact that he didn't want you but you had to do something to make him want you what else are you going to have to do in that relationship what are you going to have to do jump through hoops or whatever and I know you're thinking right now if you're obsessed with a guy yeah I'm willing to do that you're not because it's going to get old because your spirit and your soul is going to get so like put down by their experience that you're not going to want it anymore trust me the sponsor of this episode is Dramland baby the founder had her son in 2018 his name is Luke um when he was 6 months old old and she was getting up every 1.
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