have you ever felt stuck in a conversation like you've backed yourself into a corner and now you have nothing to say and then you just sit there in awkward silence thinking so hard everyone can hear you probably as someone who used to have really bad anxiety I hated this so I learned three ways that I can get out of these kinds of situations and I want to show them to you and how they really work when I want to meet someone new or make a conversation fun and why sometimes there's absolutely nothing you can do
about it oh lord it's good to be here with you Fray we've all been there I certainly have you're at a new workplace or a new class and you find yourself left in the room with someone you only kind of know you introduce each other great now what before I did anything else I focused on trying to be comfortable in that awkward silence and I did slowly because I realized that silence wasn't going to kill me like it would if I was a YouTube video I don't know about you but I can remember a lot
of the embarrassing stuff that I did in the past but when I tried to remember times where I was silent and it was awkward it never really stuck with me in my opinion life is too short to be worrying about that awkward silence that happens from time to time but that still doesn't take away from the fact that sometimes conversations got dry or boring I found myself in a lot of dry or boring conversations so I needed a way out of them there's three ways I changed so that conversations flowed better what if I told
you that even when I didn't think so there was actually so much to say in response to even the tiniest of sentences sounds crazy right but when you think about it people say things and they don't say the entire thing they don't give a book's worth of context behind their words heck they might not even know entirely what they're talking about so how did I listen to what they said like an English teacher reading a book you get extra points if you guessed it right it's active listening but how and why why not stop the
conversation from being boring before it becomes boring the moment I started listening to people with presence and properly I saw that my brain started to ask a lot more questions automatically but what does that look like I caught my hand on Sunday while working on a car when I was paying attention and had some level of genuine interest statements like this had heaps of questions behind them what kind of car is it your car how'd you cut it can I see it do you work on cars on Sunday does that happen often did it hurt
now am I saying the secret to conversation was learning about cars yes no if I did nothing knew nothing and didn't want to know anything conversations would be about as dry as a snail on the Utah ass Salt Flat also I probably won't make any friends I didn't waste my time wondering about what I should do I just did things that I found interesting be it cars Sports going on Hikes learning about psychology of course it didn't really hurt to do things that a lot of people like doing but sometimes when I felt like something
really resonated with me I did that too so what am I saying to have more fun and interesting conversations I develop my personality using interests yeah for this last point I have a really interesting question what do you think counts as a stupid question was it the one I just asked or was it one I've asked before I personally believe that as long as you're genuinely curious about something and ask it respectfully you're just wanting to learn and in that case no question is stupid because you're being brave and humble enough to want to know
more how can wanting to know more be stupid of course we can ask silly questions for the sake of being funny but that's for another time sometimes when I sensor conversations getting a little dry I'd ask questions like how tall are you or do you mow the lawn out of genuine curiosity these might seem like some ridiculous questions but nine times out of 10 people are more than happy to answer these kinds of questions especially about themselves and most of the time they made conversations go in a completely different direction and nearly always led to
a fun and interesting topic these things are important because it helped me paint a better picture of them so I can have a conversation go naturally and get to know them better maybe I'd find out that they like basketball or that they've never actually used a lawn mower before who knows there's something really important that I need to talk about I realiz that sometimes no matter what I do this will never work but why not well it's as simple as being comfortable with the fact that sometimes people are not great conversationalists themselves and sometimes maybe
they're not even interested in talking so I found it's okay to let go when I needed to maybe it was an uninterested date or someone I just didn't click with at a party it's okay and it's not such a big deal as I might have thought just don't water a dead plan I told myself well that's what I did and it seemed to work for me if you're interested in learning about just a brief crash course about active listening I'd recommend you click on this video or subscribe that would be awesome
