okay don't tell anyone but this video is sponsored by incog so in case you didn't know how to make friends is actually the most Googled topic on my laptop Google will just tell you to reconnect with your old friends wikiHow is just a copypaste reskin of Google with questionable illustrations Reddit comments will tell you to go on Meetup websites that no one actually uses in real life or to start a cornhole Club social media also probably won't help you YouTube is the main reason people don't go outside in the first place Tik Tok is literally
designed to entertain you when you're alone LinkedIn is a dystopian simulation Facebook only has people twice your age Snapchat messages are from people you don't know Discord messages are from people you don't want to know Instagram is where you send messages that no one replies to and Tinder is where you schedule dates that no one shows up to which leaves only one real option for making friends and that's talking to people in real life luckily after years of failing miserably at this I figured it out and I came up with 16 different methods that you
can pick from based on your person personality and what comes naturally to you method one filter out the boring people it can often be frustrating to meet a group of people and take weeks or months to realize that your personality really isn't compatible with any of them and the solution is to let out your natural controversial unfiltered self from the beginning so that you can quickly filter out people who aren't compatible with you you shouldn't force it but if a slightly funny dialogue option pops into your head or if you have a weird opinion sometimes
you should just say it instead of hiding it and if some people react positively congratulations you've just identified your new potential friends method two the unique interest if you've ever been the filler friend who people don't seem to find that interesting or exciting it's literally just because they don't know enough about you so to fix this talk to people about your unique interests you might not think people care but even if you're into something Niche like pressure washing driveways at least people will have something to remember you by when they first meet you just make
sure that you explain your interest to people in the way they can understand without using big words and without getting into the complex stuff if you can sense that the other person is Bored it means it's probably time to ask them about one of their interest method three be outside of your head have you ever been in a group setting where everyone's talking and you don't know when to interject or even what to say man I've been quiet for a while what are people thinking about me right now what do I even say do I
have Aura right now quick what tips can I use from that that one video with Jordan Peterson in the thumbnail this is overthinking also known as getting in your head overthinking is what happens when you get a thought then you think about it then filter it then imagine yourself seeing it then modify it then approve it and then send it out of your mouth just to mumble it because the conversation's already moved on but being outside of your head just means taking in the conversation getting thoughts but not thinking them over too much just say
them and even if you say something cringe see it not as a failure but as practice method four Don't Force It when you feel like you need to force friendships with people who don't even like you you you feel pressure and pressure leads to anxiety which leads to not being your natural self so if someone doesn't really care about you or you have absolutely nothing in common with them and you're not compatible it's not the end of the world just be as nice as you can and move on and at this point it's a numbers
game so as long as you talk to new people you will make new friends eventually method five be the main character the people who have the most friends tend to be the people who initiate conversations the most so just initiate conversations with any sentence you could Poss possibly think of just assuming that everyone wants to talk to you but remember once you initiate don't just talk about yourself ask simple questions about people's lives listen and then ask follow-up questions that show you actually listen to them this part is crucial because eventually once people get comfortable
talking to you they'll start initiating conversations with you method six be a side character the book How to Win Friends and Influence People is one of the only books on social skills that actually works I feel like books on social skills always try and teach you how to scientifically hack people's brains into producing oxytocin molecules by maintaining a 3 to1 eye contact to look away ratio by strategically touching this part of the shoulder but in this book the main piece of advice is that people tend to be mostly interested in themselves if you want someone
to like you make them feel important compliment them say their name when you initiate A conversation act happy when they walk in the room remember things about them and ask questions about them as if their life is really important to you method seven be the transparent friend one big roadblock for getting to know someone well is when no one is sharing or saying anything out of their comfort zone if you're just having safe polite conversations with someone where you both hide your deeper thoughts and emotions you probably won't build that much trust with them so
try to make your conversations more transparent and this doesn't mean go up to people and ask them their deepest darkest regret from their childhood instead a great place to start is hey do you want to hang out sometime because that's being transparent that reveals that at least you kind of think the other person is cool and saying that kind of thing will slowly bring down the brick wall between you and someone you don't know that well now on to Method 8 the injury update people love when you can empathize with their pain and actually seem
to care but usually when you ask how are you everyone just says by default good or if they're feeling daring fine so instead for this technique directly ask people if there's anything that's been bothering them recently maybe they have a physical injury that they need to complain to someone about maybe someone made mad and they need to vent or maybe they've been having a bad day and they just need someone to talk to you don't need to be a therapist but you just need to care the group chat if you meet new people really often
but can't convert them into your friends this is for you obviously what you need to do is hang out with them regularly but for that you need some kind of way to contact them so if you ever get a chance to do some activity with at least three or four people and you feel like everyone had a good time immediately create a group chat make sure that you are the first one to suggest the idea and if you need need a reason just say it so that you can get together and do the same thing
tomorrow or next week that way you get everyone's number and even if the group chat goes quiet you still have a bunch of people you could potentially ask to hang out with whenever you want method 10 do them a favor it's often said that friendship is about two people who provide value to each other so when you meet new people you could use the conversation to figure out how you could be valuable to them maybe you're an expert at something they need help with maybe you might have a common interest with them or maybe you're
just nice to them and if they return the favor or they act really nice towards you that's probably a good potential friend meth at 11 ask them for a favor here are some examples of things you could ask could you tell me where this place is could you watch my stuff for a minute or even could you introduce me to this person cuz not only does this show them you trust them but this allows them to look really nice and generous without much effort and also people like to feel useful but whatever you do don't
constantly expect favors from people if you never do anything nice for anyone cuz that's not friendship that's just networking method 12 pickup line This is a method I personally use if I'm in a group of strangers and I need to start a conversation fast to avoid being alone I just think of a question that everyone could probably answer and then just go up to different people and ask that question it's actually pretty easy because you already know what to say every time you go up to someone and everyone will have a different answer that you
can naturally lead into a conversation then of course that opens up space for you to ask better questions about where they're from who they know and what they like to do all because you had the courage to just ask that first random question method 13 the iso play if you're often in a big group and you get overwhelmed feeling like you have to talk to everyone this is for you an ISO play in basketball is a common play where you pick out one of the easiest Defenders from the other team and try to take them
on one-on-one and to do this in real life find someone in the group who isn't talking that much and start a side conversation with them only if you have to take them somewhere so that you can talk oneon-one make up some excus use like asking them to help you with something this will make them feel special and important and if you do this over time with everyone in the group eventually you'll kind of know everyone decently method 14 act like you're already friends there's a saying that goes if you go looking to find friends you'll
find very few but if you go looking to be a friend you'll find many so instead of trying to find people who will treat you like a friend you go out instead and treat people like a friend as soon as you meet them you can do this by flying past the awkward and polite stage and just going to the stage where you're lighting up every time you see someone you're making fun of them like a friend would you're saying their name a lot you're patting them on the back you're play fighting with each other and
in general you're treating them like someone you've known for a while this is one of the most powerful methods but as always be careful cuz with great power comes great potential to be weird method 15 the activity buddy when you meet someone ask them something they've always wanted to do but haven't gotten around to doing then offer to do that thing with them this way you're basically asking them to hang out but it doesn't seem desperate because it's framed as you doing a favor for them plus this is a perfectly normal reason for you to
get their number and it works on literally everyone and lastly method 16 which is the fastest possible method we currently know of now you might not be so willing to share personal info with people you don't know in which case I'd be doing you a disservice if I didn't tell you about today's sponsor incog because the truth is not only are you giving away sensitive data every time you sign up for something online but once random websites companies and data Brokers get your info they often just sell your information to whoever wants it including the
people you get random scam calls and emails and spam text from and even though you could stop this by formally requesting each individual website to remove your info you'd have to spend hours doing this hundreds of times with companies that intentionally make it difficult in the hopes that you'll just give up and let them have your data but luckily incog will swoop in for you and automatically contact these companies even the tough annoying ones and force them to remove your personal data all I had to do was sign up close the tab and let it
do its thing then I checked back a month later to find that it's already removed my data from 86 websites it's currently fighting against 43 more and it's saved me at least 64 hours so far I literally haven't gotten a single spam text or scam call since I signed up and this is coming from someone who used to get more spam calls than calls from actual real life people just go to in cog.org scroll down and click the link in the description again that's incog docomo to get a 60% discount and of course to support
the channel anyway if this helped you I'll be taking donations in the form of subscribes to fund the next video [Music]
