today we'll go over how to handle it when someone insults you we'll start with a couple classic destroy comebacks these are great at winning over an audience and embarrassing the person who insulted you be warned though they may make the target of your comeback hate you then we'll cover some friendlier more charismatic responses so that you can come away looking cool and confident without making enemies first let's cover possibly the most brutal comeback of all the high status reframe rather than responding to the insult you respond that the person insulting you simply isn't important enough
to matter the classic example of this is from mad men when ginsburg is mad at don draper for not using his idea what do i care i got a million of them a million good i guess i'm lucky you worked for me i feel bad for you i don't think about you at all you may think this only works in fiction but in the next clips you'll see it's just as effective in real life the ultimate high status reframe is that you haven't even bothered to remember someone no we don't go at it every time
i've been doing this for 19 years yeah i remember that day that's how important you are of course i remember doing letterman carnegie hall and talking to you i'm of the uh the younger generation so i just wonder for all of you uh who are you hey tko's people when i knock people out they don't move who is that guy conor has his issues but we can't deny fans love that comeback most people would make the mistake of accepting the frame of jeremy's insult they try to debate who hits harder but when you use a
high status reframe you completely dismantle an insult without even having to address it there's another classic destroy comeback that humiliates the other person so they regret insulting you and same as the first one the key is don't try disputing the insult instead accept the insult and use it against them here's a quick example where someone tries to insult kumal nanjiani multiple colors yes every shade of your mom's lipstick it's like that famous winston churchill story where a woman tells him if you were my husband i'd poison your tea and he replies if you were my
wife i'd drink it here's one more example first for context watch dennis leary try to insult greg geraldo for being unable to rely on quick wit this guy writes so many jokes before the show it's not even funny it's unbelievable that's kind of what we do here dennis it's comedy right a gentle comeback like that rarely dissuades a bully so dennis leary insults greg a second time watch how rather than fighting the insult greg accepts it and uses it to really burn leary you're the guy in school that did all the homework and then asked
if there was any more that needed to be done that's a good point and if you had tried a little comedy writing maybe your show would still be on the air there's two downsides to this kind of comeback first they're very clever so it can be hard to do and second while you'll win over an audience you run the risk of upsetting the person you're firing back at you there's another way to crush an insult that can still make a crowd laugh and avoid making enemies don't insult the person insult the insult norm thanks for
dressing up sarah listen man uh congratulations that's the 100th time that joke's been done tonight but i also want to tell you i have a if it's something that's it's hard to fix does it mean we shouldn't do anything about it because you said oh i don't know if we can change how people think does that mean we shouldn't try i mean first of all not a great impression but beyond that this can make someone look stupid for insulting you without them feeling personally attacked now if you don't want to sink to the other person's
level and use an insult at all another option you have is to draw a boundary for example watch this woman insult jordan peterson and listen to how he responds so what is your advice beyond banal comments like clean your room it's actually rather difficult to answer a question that ends with your comments are banal politely one way to draw a boundary is to simply call out the insult as rude then you can invite the other person to change their behavior i would consider that more of an opinionated personal and political statement than actually a question
so why don't you try reformulating that so that there's an actual question there if you found the insult truly offensive you can also draw a boundary by calling out the insult and then shifting attention away from the person to someone else this is infuriating to bullies because their behavior is often motivated by wanting attention are you the fat guy in hollywood still or does everybody like look at you and they're like oh wow you know this is great now you're healthy do you have any other questions that are smart now let's talk about charismatic replies
if you aren't actually offended by the insult because you can often use a joking insult as a springboard for witty banter that makes the other person laugh an easy way to do this is the tit for chat or eye for an eye method basically when someone burns you you burn them back in the same style i need to watch this movie you haven't seen spider-man i haven't seen the falcon oh no there isn't one sorry you'll notice in the tit for chat examples the comeback often makes the other person laugh since they started it they
don't really have a leg to stand on when it comes to being upset at you the only two risks are if you really take the insult up a notch or if you know the other person is sensitive tit for tat comebacks can be so simple you can do them almost without thinking watch in this next clip how finn reacts to his own burn he clearly didn't even mean to say it out loud can you read this really cool can i read yeah can you host in general the tit for tat method is a good way
to turn an insult into fun banter within this framework there's a good rule for specifically if someone tries to insult your looks when you want to make someone laugh try to conjure up an absurd image in the person's mind compare chuck's insult in this next clip to kevin's your body ain't that good you can just walk around without your shirt off if we're ever going to talk about bodies i want you not to be the one to bring that conversation all right if you don't get out of here shaped like a beanbag that got that
in your body ain't that good isn't nearly as funny as you're shaped like a bean bag that got satin you may think kevin is super quick-witted for that comeback but that's actually an illusion he creates by having a few specific go-to insults he uses repeatedly are we here are you actually going to do some working out listen you don't just get this no no you want to feel that no it looks like a skinny bean bag my body wants to get buff but i don't want to scare my fans you had the body of a
dutch woman kenny has the body of a dutch woman now not every insult needs an insulting comeback sometimes the most charismatic thing you can do is show that you're unaffected unlike what we've covered so far this is incredibly easy to do and makes you look likable and confident with no risk of hurt feelings one way you can do this is by answering rhetorical questions literally so someone is insulting you but you act like they're just asking you a genuine question here's a quick example you recognize from the avengers movie big man in a suit armor
take that off what are you genius billionaire playboy philanthropist and again this doesn't just work in fiction listen to norm mcdonald in this next clip notice how he's able to make everyone laugh and make himself look good without being rude to the interviewer who insulted him you've admitted that you're lazy i think you've read six books in your life i've read six six what kind of a woman would be attracted to you do you think well i have a lot of money another easy way to show you're unaffected by an insult if you can do
it genuinely is to simply laugh at the insult it shows your confidence hasn't been shaken at all by what they've said you look like a mechanic from nordstrom rack dude that's the [ __ ] problem you're like damn i didn't know uh nordstrom rack did tires you know during our sex scene i felt your dick rubbing into them okay chris evans isn't truth a great actor but he plays captain america like he's a big dumb hunker as fun as the destroy comebacks from earlier in this video are to watch they're really only helpful if you're
trying to build an online audience in your own life when it comes to insults you want two things the confidence to genuinely find humor in a tease so that you can clap back with a smile or laugh along with a joke or the confidence to draw strong boundaries and potentially cut people from your life who make it a habit to try to genuinely insult you when you come from that place of true deep genuine confidence you don't need to memorize any tips or tricks you'll naturally handle being insulted in a way that makes you look
and feel great now you might think building deep unshakable confidence will take you a long time or maybe you even think it's impossible for you that you could never actually feel that way but building confidence is way easier than you think with the right game plan you can become significantly more confident in just a few weeks if you want the fastest way i know to take your confidence and charisma to the next level you should check out our program charisma university rather than tell you about the program myself here are a few things that our
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that means you can take the entire course and if you don't think it's worth every penny you can give yourself a full refund from right inside the program if you want to see if charisma university is right for you click the link on screen now or in the description below either way i hope you enjoyed this video and i'll see you in the next one [Music] you
