normally earning respect takes years of demonstrating high character but there are exceptions and that's why in this video we'll cover six psychological tricks that you can use to command more respect almost instantly and to do it we'll be breaking down some of the most commanding presences that we've covered on this channel the first trick to immediately command more respect is to upgrade your thin slice people can make their first judgement on whether or not they like someone within just 5 seconds of seeing them and it's dramatized but we've all experienced the sense of liking someone
as soon as we saw them like in the scene from Crazy Stupid Love Finn's laces are necessarily shallow judgements and it can be tempting to chalk yours all up to genetic luck of the draw but you do not have to be Ryan Gosling or Emma Stone to have a strong thin slice in fact one massive lever in your direct control is your clothes now the mistake that most people make here is dressing with the subconscious goal of blending in because they're subconsciously scared of being judged they dress like everyone around them to avoid even being
noticed and I don't want to focus too much on this but there are two quick fixes first to start dressing one level nicer than the situation calls for which will get you noticed in a positive way and that's exactly what you see from Ryan Gosling and Crazy Stupid Love and second is to focus much more on finding a brand that fits and flatters your body type rather than finding the most expensive brand you can afford now after your style the next easy trick to influence your thin slice and immediately command more respect is to physically
take up more space watch here has Tony Robbins own the space around him when he speaks and how it captivates his listener you know three dollars a week no twenty five hundred dollars excites him more that memory to this day than even the million bucks you know you did it first 24-hour version right or you break in the form in a million bucks out of your mind now physically taking up more space doesn't have to mean huge hand gestures that demand the spotlight it could be as simple as sitting asymmetrically or taking up your entire
seat and the goal here isn't to encroach on anyone else's space in some kind of dominance game in fact you can always adjust to make more room for the people around you it's to sub communicate that you aren't afraid of being seen with your body and that's exactly what restrain jesters and shrinking body language do the easiest way to take up more space in a non-invasive way is with your own posture next time that you're about to enter a room just take a second to roll your shoulders back a few times and increase the space
between the bottom of your ribs and your hip bones this will make you stand taller and you'll notice an immediate difference in how you feel as well as how people look at you now the next trick is closely related to taking up more space and it's to get comfortable with platonic touching and yes this one is on pause for the duration of social distancing but generally speaking most Westerners are awkward when it comes to making physical contact with others for instance waving hello instead of handshaking and generally avoiding any physical contact after that initial greeting
but touch is integral to human connection and not just with romantic partners touch builds trust and creates a feeling of safety and of closeness it's one of the ways Oprah Winfrey connects with people so quickly [Applause] now obviously this has to be done correctly otherwise you can create discomfort and there's four key principles for making sure that your touch is appropriate and well-received first keep your touch to non central areas of the body like the hands the arms the shoulders and the upper back second keep each touch to roughly under five seconds if your touch
lingers longer than that it can start to feel creepy third be a universal touch sure give it caring touch to the people around you regardless of your attraction to them and you'll come across as friendly and confident but if you focus on just one person then you might have a crush on you can seem weird and even predatory and force be mindful of how people react and of course calibrate accordingly if you see someone stiffen or lean back then you've gone too far and need to pull back yourself don't be like Seinfeld's close talker friend
who is completely unaware of people's reactions now that we've covered body language in our first tips let's talk about the first trick that has to do with what you say and if you want to instantly command more respect from the people around you then don't allow yourself to be cut off mid-sentence most people think it's polite to stop talking when someone interrupts them in conversation but when you let someone bulldoze you into shutting up you're signalling that their opinions take precedence over yours and this is especially true in group conversation regardless of your political affiliation
if you've watched the Republican primaries in 2016 you saw this play a big part in Trump's ability to make his opponents look weak as a candidate he supports federal taxpayer funding for Planned Parenthood I disagree with him on that that's a matter of biggest liar you probably are worse than Jeb Bush [Applause] all right this guy lied let me just say it now to be clear that doesn't mean that you want to step on other people and hog the spotlight talking nonstop or even talking more than others but to command respect you should always finish
your sentences when you have the floor even if someone is trying to talk over you watch how quickly a young Jaden Smith gives up on being heard in this next clip now compare that to Jaden's father will hear by coming in just a little bit louder than everyone else and making his sentence unstoppable will gets his joke heard gets a big laugh from the audience and immediately Bradley Cooper is excited to hop onto wills conversational thread now another perfect example is Russell Brand in the viral interview he did with MSNBC notice he doesn't yell he
doesn't rush to finish he simply continues unfazed at his normal pace until he's completed his thought and then he defers this is something you'd like to learn more about we have a full video on how to stop people from talking over you that I'm gonna link to in the top right corner and the description box below just one last caveat on this this is most important in groups if you're talking one-on-one with someone you do not need to worry about this nearly as much but moving along the next counterintuitive psychological trick is to complement your
competition the opposite trying to tear down another person's successes or talents is a great way to quickly lose respect even if you feel justified in your opinion sharing it makes you look bitter and jealous on the contrary actually praising your opposition shows a confidence that very few people have for example here's Jordan Peterson who is religious speaking about atheists and atheism there's a good case to be made for atheism I mean let's let's make no no bones about it because you could say in some sense there's been 300 400 years of brilliant scientists who've been
doing nothing but laying the foundation for a non objective empirical atheism if you show this type of respect for an opponent's beliefs and achievements people will immediately be more open to what you have to say and they'll respect you for admitting that there is strength on the opposite side as well I am here tonight to say a few words about an American hero that I've come to know very well and admire very much Senator John okay now bringing it back to your own life to areas that this may apply are in work and in dating
for instance when you elevate a co-worker by complimenting their work you elevate yourself as well because you show that you're fair honest and confident on the flip side and dating if you badmouth someone because you think your crush might like them you actually just make yourself seem insecure and petty and turn off your crush in the first place now there are exceptions to this of course there are people who can trashed all of their rivals in a way that commands tons of respect Muhammad Ali is a prime example of that right what a beautiful swing
and the person is Frazier clean out of the rain but when they came for the fight that they would have witnessed imagine of a colored satellite this works for Olli and Conor McGregor because not only are they in environments where trash-talking is encouraged but there's also humour and over-the-topness to what they say that humor is what turns a potentially arrogant statement into a fun confident one now the last trick to instantly command more respect is to openly share your shortcomings most people incorrectly think that you have to hide your flaws put on a strong front
and fake it till you make it right the truth is more nuanced and that's because people can sense when you're hiding something especially if you're overcompensating she didn't mutual in reality people do not judge you on your shortcomings they judge you on how you perceive your shortcomings by being open about your imperfections you show that you're not afraid to be seen as you are this is the genius behind the final raf battle in eight-mile rather than pretend to be someone he is in eminem owns the quote unquote bad things about himself and wins the battle
ending the movie when you share your flaws and they don't embarrass you it shows massive confidence you just watch the reaction that brad pitt gets for this award acceptance speech let's be honest it was a difficult part the guy who gets high takes his shirt off and doesn't get on with his wife there's a big stretch it's big [Applause] but you do need to know how to use this trick properly so that it doesn't backfire and the key is all in the delivery you have two strong options here you can say your shortcomings as a
joke like Brad does here or you could say it as a simple statement of fact with strong eye contact no stutter and a downward tone willing to paint himself in the shadow of his failures or makes a far more interesting conversation this night cam would sure take a seat by my side when I change now all these tips work excellently but they are hugely enhanced by deep authentic confidence and if you want to learn more about developing authentic confidence so that these tips become more second nature to you you might be interested in our course
emotional mastery emotional mastery is a 30-day program that is designed to help you master your emotions and your subconscious beliefs so that you consistently feel better than you might think as possible and the goal of the course is to raise the baseline level of joy that you feel on a day to day basis which naturally spills over into boosted confidence now the way this works is by focusing first and foremost on your relationship with yourself this means exercises that get you in touch with feelings that you may have been repressing for a long time so
that you can put in end to those moments where you're being controlled by fear of rejection failure or conflict now a very common outcome is that members of the course realize that they want to share everything they've learned in their lives and help other people on their own personal development journeys so I've actually added a bonus section that is a crash course in starting a YouTube channel this is something that I made at the very beginning of my channel we had only twenty thousand subscribers so it's a very tactical explanation of how to build a
following from zero if that's something that interests you now this is only the second time that I've spoken about emotional mastery on the channel before because we normally only offer to people who have joined our email list or the charisma university program and that means that there's actually no sales page explaining what the course is about it's just a checkout page so if this is something that intrigues you and you're curious and you want to know more the best way to check it out is just to check out the course directly with the link below
and you can do that knowing that the course comes with a 60 day money-back guarantee that is absolutely for any reason at all there's nothing that you need to do nothing to fill out you just go to the billing section hit refund and you'll get every penny back if you do it within those 60 days but I do hope that you check this course out because it addresses how to live with more joy in your life and how to be less controlled by negative emotions that might be limiting you and they tend to limit most
people this is what I'm most excited about and I'm continually working to improve this course it's also something that's perfect for use during quarantine so if you'd like to join now go ahead click the link below I hope to see you on the inside either way I hope that you've enjoyed this video and I look forward to seeing you in the next one
