you ever met someone who was maybe let's just say a five six out of ten on a conventional attraction scale but there was something so charismatic about them they put the charm on you couldn't help but find yourself attracted dude there's something about that girl I don't know what it is and then on the flip side I'm sure you've seen maybe celebrities or people who are like a 9 out of ten but their energy is so rotten it kills the attraction altogether he's got movie star looks but you know he does Club baby seals here's
the good news a lot of energy and Charisma can be taught most of Attraction is an energy Dynamic and in this video we're gonna go over the 10 tips that will make anyone more attractive I'm aware that when you do a video on attraction people automatically assume you're saying you're like the most attractive person out there that's not what I'm saying that's not the vibe I'm giving off but these 10 tips have significantly helped me I've given these tips to friends to clients who use them them come back and they say dude the whole interaction
changed I want you to listen for the one maybe two that really resonate with you take it try it this week I heard a story once of a writer who was super Well published you would definitely know who he is he would purposely just fill his weeks with doing cool adventurous things so he had interesting things to write about Point number one is to do interesting when was the last time you tried a new hobby not to monetize it not to like make a business out of it not to like become the best in the
world at but just because you were curious about it obsessions are really great for conversations and when you're passionate about something that's the attraction mechanism there like for me you get me going on pop punk mental core hardcore bands drumming I'm off go down a YouTube rabbit hole and geek out on something totally Niche yeah I went on a date with this guy and there you know there's something about him he was just went on this conspiracy rant for like 20 minutes but he was so into it it was attractive you're just on a date
freaking out about the state of the world two words Hollow Earth you ever gotten into something because your partner or someone you knew or your friend was so into it so do interesting things and you'll become interesting this was hard for me to hear but I'm glad someone told me I have a thing called resting face it's where your defaults State even though nothing is wrong you look kinda pissed off and cold look I'll throw up two examples nothing is wrong I'm totally chilling believe it or not I'm just listening not in my head now
let's compare that with this same state listening having some fun but see how much more warm that looks approachable conversational light what's the difference Point number two is to smile smile now we're not talking here like a forced school photo shoot where your mom makes you wear this turtleneck I don't want to wear it mom last too damn bad maybe an example from your life you ever taken a photo with a partner or a friend or your family and you thought you were smiling but then you look back at it Justin why do you look
so angry what you didn't even smile no I did smile it just I I guess it just didn't translate even though nothing's wrong on the inside the outside it kind of looks like something is when you just smile in conversations talking to people in photos it conveys warmth approachability like you're having a good time and who doesn't want to hang around people having a good time let's talk about the fit yes what you wear matters and no I'm not saying I'm some fashion Guru or the most fashion forward person out there but I've learned a
lot and I do love this area so I got some quick tips for you the good news about all this is changing your appearance is like the easiest part of becoming more attractive more confident that's because so much of it is within your control especially if you're a guy if you're just in shape you wear good clothes you groom yourself you take care of your appearance you can look pretty darn good here's three tips first off keep it simple dudes you go out there you get some black shirts you get some white shirts some Grays
some neutrals you get some dark jeans blue jeans dark shoes White Shoes you're looking good you don't need Big Brand labels you don't need flashy you know what's in season just keep it super simple and that'll get you like 80 percent of the way there second thing get an iron or steamer there's nothing that'll kill the fit more than go into your hamper and pulling out a dirty ring cold shirt this is so simple it's like 30 on Amazon and third grooming I like personally for me getting a haircut every three to four weeks my
point is you don't have to take out a bank loan to look fashionable in my 20s I struggled with depression if you've been there you know you just lay in bed there's not much you want to do like your energy feels low I started putting on stand-up comedy specials a lot of comedy and what I realized is by the end of the hour I was laughing so much I didn't feel depressed I got that Netflix notification are you still watching so many times that's Netflix's passive aggressive way of saying like buddy you good you need
a hug how we doing it's like impossible to hold this like negative emotion in a super positive one at the same time it's like an on off switch right and so when I was turned on to the laughter and the high Vibe I didn't feel that low Vibe anymore I don't think we laugh enough in today's world everyone's so serious and doom and gloom and there's always things negative we can focus on and so if you're able to laugh more with people or get people to laugh you raise them up when people feel lifted up
especially in a world that's just so easy to like depress you and bring it down with everything going on that's addictive and they'll want to be in that high Vibe State and you're going to be charismatic and magnetic look at the research on laughter improved immune system lower stress and when you're laughing it even releases endorphins that act of natural painkillers for anthropologists whoever studies how we evolved they say that laughter was actually a bonding mechanism with groups it is hardwired in us to bond with people we're laughing and having a good time with don't
repress your laughter don't say oh that's funny but I gotta be serious it's okay to be a bit more relaxed goofy chill get in the frame of whoever has the most fun wins I'll tell you about these in a second for this next point if you Google this topic we're talking about how to become attractive I guarantee the first thing that comes up is what confidence you ever thought of just being confident you know just act confident that's attractive here's what I've learned confidence comes through competence it's very hard to be confident in things that
you know nothing about I believe that self-confidence comes through self-competence knowing yourself people who are self-aware got a Vibe about them and you're like well how do I develop self-awareness coaching therapy living life taking lessons in one thing that's helped me keeping a journal this is just five years of it but I've been doing this for over a decade we have videos on the channel if you want to go deeper on our method and self-awareness is really two things the first is knowing about yourself like the positives your beliefs your stories how do you know
your beliefs are true what do you believe that others might disagree with right but it's also knowing your flaws and where you have areas to grow in still maybe you can be too overbearing at times with over enthusiasm or maybe you're too intense or maybe you set hold others to unrealistic standards whatever it is doesn't matter as much as that you just know what it is and in that way journaling has definitely helped in my self-confidence here's something we can all probably agree on is there anything worse and going out a group of friends and
there's one friend who gets invited maybe they're not your friend maybe they're a partner maybe they're a brother or a cousin or something there's someone in the group who Hogs the mic literally every single time they can they bring a conversation back onto them you just got back from Italy well I went five years ago and I noticed you can see people's eyes glaze over just like oh man not trying to be rude but we've all had that interaction the worst part about it is they don't listen to you when you talk they're just waiting
for their turn to speak oh oh oh oh you're still talking okay can you can you finish up so I can talk what's the opposite because if you do the opposite that's good asking people questions literally just asking questions doing the opposite of the mic hold is releasing the mic back to someone else now I'm not saying here you turn it into an interview or you turn it into a podcast where they're your guest but I used to turn a band and one of the guys in there would go to these venues and every time
we went the stagehands we'd go back the stagehands would be like dude is that guy with you like where is he oh we love him so much and all he did was ask them questions it was like you were the only thing that mattered when he was talking to you so experiment with this and start asking some questions you ever gotten a text from someone and it says like what time are you coming home and maybe you read it what time are you coming home why why are they yelling at me so much of communication
is sub communication body language take two people side by side one super low confidence super low Vibe how are they gonna behave body language wise hunched over breathing shallowed this is what I call the iPhone posture they're literally depressing themselves now take the other person confident having fun not thinking too much into things what is their body language like fluid relaxed chill before YouTube videos there's a lot of times where I feel like I'm too stiff right and I I come on and I want to deliver and I'm just like this and I you know
RBF kicks in and everything like this again nothing's wrong it's just the intensity coming through what I found make a massive night and day difference is this tip with content like before videos I will literally laughs just like that shake it out get loose get playful that Vibe is so much more fun to watch another weird tip here for you you like these weird ones I think they stick with you more I was hanging out with one of the guys I used to follow a lot in my early 20s his name is Elliot Hulse he
had something that stuck with me when I was in my early 20s I heard him say he says you should breathe into your balls if you ever find yourself getting tense and your body language closing up breathe so deeply like your diaphragm and then go lower two three of those breaths and tell me you don't feel different literally do it right now as I'm talking just you start to chill out more you start to relax loosen up it's game changing isn't it funny how dogs know their own names or they know selective words walk play
treat even though they can't understand English they understand their own name because you've called them that so many times it's their identity and they view it as them this tip is to say people's names as Dale Carnegie said in his book almost 100 years ago how to win friends and influence people remember that someone's name is the sweetest sound in any language don't overdo this don't just like say someone's name over and over and over again that's creepy but a good Rule and tip here is trying to say someone's name three times in the first
three minutes of meeting them this has served me very well don't be the person who's like I'm so bad with names I just what's your name again that's very unattractive it's like oh this person doesn't care about me but you flip that and someone remembers your name and you only said it like one or two times don't you feel like they're paying attention and care about you and you're seen by them don't write that one up seriously try it this week and let me know this one's something we're probably all guilty of in 2019 I
remember this I was looking through my Instagram and I just remember thinking like who is this guy like I don't talk like that I don't pose like that what am I doing posting on Instagram kind of became embarrassing you ever relate to that like you post something and you're just God oh man maybe I'm being too hard on myself here but now looking back on the cringe IG days I realized that it was a false Persona because I thought that person was more likable than the true me and my fear was if I was authentic
and vulnerable or the authentic version or real that somehow that would be less likable so cut all those parts out and just put on this facade until I did a test of what if I just post what feels good natural how I actually talk how I actually look how I actually behave people started reaching out like dude I feel like your energy shifting and so this point is to be real authenticity can't be taught because by definition that wouldn't be authenticity it can only be felt and when you're authentic you're able to be vulnerable I'm
not saying vulnerability is like you just meet someone nice to meet you I have a borderline drinking problem with vulnerability and authenticity you allow connection to happen because connection happens around the rough edges haha I got a prop for it right here this battery has Velcro on it see that these rough edges that's how it connects right versus two things that are really smooth there's nothing to grip onto you can't connect if we're too polished and we're too fake like we're wrapped up in plastic and sterile there's nothing for people to latch onto to to
grip to to connect to so when you're actually more vulnerable and authentic and you people can connect and form deeper connections with you and that's what makes you attractive if you ask people what they find attractive one of the most common responses is gonna be what I want someone who's intelligent well think about what people are saying when they say intelligence are they saying like man it was so dreamy he recited the Pythagoras Theory and the quadratic equation and my heart melted I don't think that's what they're really saying I think what some people mean
by intelligence is emotional intelligence your EQ not your IQ it's very underrated how are you when things get heated you lash out you blame or do you keep your cool and have a level head about things tips I got from a therapist on this with communicating emotions that are really good first the wrong way you want to stay away from accusatory you oh you never Instead try and stick to three things your wants feelings and needs because no one can argue with what you want to feel or you need if you're someone who can keep
your cool when the storm gets choppy that's very attractive if you're into these sort of social tips confidence tips what I'll do now I'll link up a video right here it's on four social secrets and there's a few that we talked about here but it's always good to review and these will make you attractive app as well this video has over 1.5 million somewhere around their views so people seem to like it and I think it's a good follow-up after this I'll see you in that video
