husband ignored my pregnancy restrictions and forced me to play with him I ended up in the hospital and now I'm secretly planning to leave him hello everyone my husband and I have been married for 4 years and together for six and this is the very first huge argument we've ever had I f24 am currently 33 weeks pregnant with his M31 baby when I was 20 weeks pregnant my doctor diagnosed me with placenta previa which if you don't know is basically when the placenta for my baby is covering the opening in my cervix they told me
it would likely move as my baby grew but it never did so I am scheduled for a C-section in just 3 weeks at 20 weeks I was put on very light restrictions but at 30 I got put on heavier restrictions like no running no lifting or climbing no standing for longer than 3 hours at a time and most importantly no sex and no vaginal exams because my doctor told me that we want absolutely nothing to potentially make me bleed which could lead to pre-term birth so I been doing this all for 3 weeks but it
has been driving my husband [ __ ] insane every single day he bothers me for sex every single day every sing single day I tell him I can't and remind him of the restrictions I don't even want to have sex anyway my tummy is so big and I always exhausted he doesn't really like those answers finally he came to me and started going on about how doctors sometimes dramatize things for the sake of their careers and more money he said they push for C-sections I was like okay whatever but I know that I have this
condition obviously I'm going to follow the rules he didn't take the answer and we ended up having sex for a few hours after I was having really heavy bleeding and I got so scared I was crying in the bathroom trying to figure figure out what to do I ended up calling my doctor and she told me to come in right away the whole car ride there I was just sobbing imagining that an hour I would be having a c-section for an only 33 week old baby we quickly figured out that I am not in pre-term
labor I was just bleeding and as long as it stops it will be okay it did and I am fine but while I was there my doctor asked my husband to leave and started asking me questions she asked me if I did anything I wasn't supposed to do she was like this isn't accusatory it's okay it's just better to know if it was caused by something or random I told her that I had sex she just went over all the things again and then gave me a bunch of information on domestic violence she put them
in my purse for me literally I was so embarrassed when we got into the car I broke down and yelled at my husband telling him to never do that to me again and telling him that my doctor knows more than him and knows what is best for me and the baby he apologized and I could tell he really meant it I have still been holding a grudge for days and he's been grueling for days he asked me how long I was going to make him apologize I told him at least until the baby is born
aah for that comment oop clarifies the age Gap slash when they met I was well out of high school when we met and dated I graduated at 17 I was in college by the time we met my family lives a few states away but we see them pretty often look at those pamphlets I skimmed them when she gave them to me but they have since been thrown out commenter things don't get thrown out by Magic fairies someone throws them out W threw them out you or your abuser who does not want you to read the
important material in the pamphlets oop well I put them with a bunch of other papers that we have laying around I am sure he just went through them and threw out the unimportant ones I don't think he did it on purpose or anything oop responds to people leaving resource links yes I see them all in the comments and I am looking at them I searched our recycling bin for the ones from my doctor but they're gone commenter NTA is this guy who lacks critical thinking skills able to hold down a job oop he usually doesn't
lack critical thinking skills he's a police detective actually update one I wasn't originally going to make an update just because like I was getting into specific detail about my life and I didn't want anyone I know in real life to find it but I will because I don't know why actually I guess I just got some really good comments I posted this about 7 hours ago and I cannot believe how many people have responded I don't know if I could ever say thank you enough to such thoughtful strangers on the internet so originally my plan
was to tell my doctor in my sill maybe my brother but I wasn't looking forward to discussing those details with him I rescheduled my weekly appointment with my doctor for TMR I know some people said I would be able to just walk in but I didn't want to do it and then have make some excuse to my husband the comment made me realize the severity of the situation and honestly I am terrified so I called my sill when she got off work and we had a really long conversation I mentioned in the comments but my
S and brother have never really liked my husband especially my S she was very supportive and kind and we talked for a long time I guess I can admit now that it wasn't just sex it was rape we talked about that more than anything else and she cleared the whole confusion thing up very quickly I told her a lot of the things my mom excused because she likes my husband and my S was livid I guess I kind of knew she always would be which is why I never told her she ended up telling me
to talk to my doctor and she will talk to my brother and we will see what's going on she said she will come down on the soonest flight but my brother cannot come yet because they do have children of their own I was content with that though and my appointment with my doctor is tomorrow so my husband got home kind of early and saw how I was upset I really was planning on getting myself together before he came home but I did not have time still I was not going to tell him anything but he
was being so kind which he really usually is I know that's hard to believe but it's true but today especially he was so kind and so worried about me I know it was stupid to explain the situation but I did I don't know why I'm just used to telling him my problems I guess it was a mistake and I know that I am really trying not to be so stupid anymore but it's hard to switch from thinking about him as my loving and caring husband to my husband who is hurting me so I told him
that and how he hurt me and honestly I'm scared now he was like what how I said by forcing me to have sex by literally forcing my legs apart and telling me to calm down he was like oh my [ __ ] God don't [ __ ] say that that's a crime do you understand that do you understand you just accused me of Marshall rape and pushed me away from him I started to apologize and he started to say it was okay and do that thing where he acts like I'm dumb again so I finally
like yeah actually I really do understand that now it isn't right and it is Marshall rape it resulted in a huge argument once again he called me an idiot for even daring to say those words I called him an abuser and he literally laughed he was like who are you talking to you don't know what you're talking about and started to go on and on about things I don't know know about he said sex with his wife isn't rape no matter how you split it I ended up trying to just walk away but he grabbed
me by my wrist I snatched my hand away and he held up his hands was like oh I'm sorry I'm sorry that might be considered battery of a pregnant woman if we're going by your definitions the condescending tone is what really drove me to the edge and I told him I don't want to be around him he was like fine I'll go I said no I want to go I want to be away from you he threw the credit card at me and told me to go get a hotel then so I did and here
I am typing this now and my sill is on her way right now but I am so far from okay he's called me several times but I won't answer I've never seen him that angry before I am slightly concerned what he will do if I genuinely tell him I want to leave and take the baby he is the one who wanted to have a child and I was convinced it won't let me take her easily and that terrifies me every time my daughter kicks I just want to sob I never thought that my own baby
would make me cry like this but I am just so scared comments commenter if it's his credit card he can track your hotel and even ask information on behalf of credit card Please be aware and be safe edit seems like op's husband is a cop oop it is his card but I told the hotel what was going on and they seem to understand my sill will be here soon so it's just tonight I'll be alone commenter the hotel clerk cannot legally tell him what room she is staying in I've been through this oop yes this
is what they told me I talked to the manager and he told me don't worry he cannot legally tell anyone where I am staying or what room even if my husband did try to use his shield still not legal unless they have the proper document ation which obviously he would not commenter can you leave and move in with your brother and S have the baby at a hospital near them once you have the baby and can guarantee he'll make your life tricky and won't let you leave the state you need to get to somewhere you
have a support network and safety before you have the baby oop that is my plan all night I've been having bleeding and Braxton Hicks for the first time ever I am literally terrified to be here alone or to go into pre-term labor alone I am trying to hard to not engage with my husband but I'm so [ __ ] scared LOL the post going viral and being at the top and husband finding it thank you very much for pointing this out I was not aware I don't think either of them are at a risk to
find it but even if they did I don't think I've said anything too specific commenter it must be a terrifying thought that someone who you loved and thought loved you back let his mask slip and shows you what kind of person he really is when you try to stand up for yourself oop it is terrifying it's so strange that the moment I said a word he didn't like he was meaner and worse than I've ever seen him comment her she should go to a lawyer a lawyer will have a much better idea of how to
report it in such a way that it can't be rug swept oop I am already doing this I want to have my daughter in my home state but I am not sure how that works and I am scared to do something wrong and give my husband leverage to take her I am really trying my best I only have less than 3 weeks to get somewhere and I'm just stressed and scared I also know he never allowed me to have the baby or c-section on my own he will be there and I just don't know how
to deal with that update to this one is quick and for the people who wanted me to verify that I'm okay less than three I genuinely don't know what to say about the amount of support I got thank you so so so very much much August 7th I posted my update and I mentioned having Braxton Hicks for the first time I was urged to go to the hospital I originally wasn't going to but thank goodness that I did because by the time I walked in the door I was bleeding so heavily it was down my
legs turns out I had a placental abruption August 7th at 10:37 p.m. my daughter was born via emergency C-section she is now only less than old as I post this but I am being forced to deal with an attorney in all of this already she was only 33 weeks and 5 days when she was born she is Tiny but still doing relatively well so they tell me she is in the niku now and I am in the hospital still as well I have received lots of care and while it is all scary and hard seeing
my daughter makes it better I'm fine I will be fine and so will she the nurses here are amazing and the doctor told me as long as everything goes well I get to take my daughter home in just a few weeks less than three as for my situation my sill came shortly after my daughter was born and she's been by my side all day and very supportive the attorney advised us to allow my husband visitation with my daughter while she is still in the NQ so I did I do not have a concern of him
hurting our daughter while in the hospital or anything like that I have received lots of supportive messages from his co-workers and his side of the family so I am sure he is spinning the story that we are together and everything is fine he is trying to act like that too he's seen our daughter several times today and I think that he was in the hospital with me during the C-section but I'm honestly not sure he came up to my room this morning while the nurses were helping me take that first walk after the C-section I
was just emotional enough to let him in I have to be honest and say it wasn't easy to try and hate him after all of this I still let him comfort me and I still cried to him but at the end when he said you wouldn't have had to do this alone if you weren't acting that way and grabbed my face to make me kiss him it reminded me of why exactly I am doing this so yeah I am not so sure what I'm going to do originally I really wanted to have my daughter in
my home state so that I could stay there with her in my sill and brother but I highly doubt my husband will allow me to take her there my attorney says I have options and the options are heavily in my favor as I did what you all suggested and got the medical records of the rapes including the one I posted about and two more I went to the hospital for over the years as well as in writing my doctor saying that my placental abruption was likely caused by trauma and stress for custody and stuff like
that but likely only here where we currently live honestly that's okay being able to briefly hold my baby and seeing her and loving her so much has replaced much else in my mind I want to be safe but I want her safe most of all I won't do anything to put her in the situation I was in she is only 16 hours old and she is all I think about and will ever think about for the rest of my life I probably won't update again as I am hoping they will let me spend more time
with my daughter soon but I just wanted to say that this whole post literally changed my life and I cannot say thank you enough if anyone else finds themselves in this sort of situation I want to say do not be scared to speak up and if anyone has survived it you're so brave thank you less than three comments commenter op ask your nurse for a social worker to help you out especially with your baby being in the NQ tell the social worker all about this stuff depending on which state you're in they can be a
fantastic resource and can put you in contact with shelters that take in New Moms not every DV shelter is a good place for a new baby especially a niku baby that was born during an abruption oop I already have smile we have a whole plan already for when she gets out of the nikq also I saw people really worried about me because of finances and stuff but I'm going to be okay I actually still do have a job I was just on leave because of the baby and a stable career and actually quite a bit
of savings I never let him take that from me or her commenter do you know how long your sill will be staying with you oop we aren't really sure at the moment because she also has children back home but she promised that either her or my brother will be with me for as long as I need them she said they will take turns coming back and forth they're literally my angels less than three commenter husband was in the surgical theater with her husband was visiting within a day and walking her around the unit she believes
husband thinks they're still together because of messages from his friends and family but says nothing to disabuse him if this he forced a kiss on her in her hospital room no mention of being thrown out of the hospital for continuing the sexual assault that put her in it in the first place she has made no indication of where she will go after leaving the hospital besides I was going to go too other state but now I'm not sure she doesn't have a concrete plan for getting out frown oop the hospital called him before I could
say don't but it honestly wasn't the biggest concern for me at the moment because I literally had liters of blood at my feet commenter info why did he touch your stomach did he purposely hurt your incision oop when he realized it hurt he snatched his hand back and was like I'm sorry I'm sorry I forgot I'm used to it because he would touch my tummy a lot when I was pregnant it seemed genuine but you know so did every other apology I'm sure it was on purpose it was the exact area I I had previously
had my hand to sit down commenter remember that you're literally only in this position getting an emergency C-section and watching your child fight for survival in the nikq because he raped you despite knowing there was a high change it would hurt you and your unborn child because him getting his dick wet is the only thing he cared about he doesn't give a [ __ ] about you or your child you are possessions to him for him to do with what he pleases do not let this man anywhere near you oop I know every time I
see her or think about her that's what I think about during the C-section they didn't let me see her they just took her away so fast in my head all I was thinking was she's dead or dying and it's his fault entirely trust me when I say I am not going back commenter I am glad you are okay op and I guess more is seeping out I was surprised now to see you mention the other rapes or other times it seemed like in your post this was a totally isolated incident I am happy you are
getting out the mention of that just further affirms it oop there were a lot of other times three I went to the hospital for including the one I posted about I was just scared and confused and not well informed tell the lawyer about this post I already did she said all is good as long I don't say my name his name her name baby's name or firm or any advice that isn't accessible on the internet one more thought from oop no of course I understand trust me I should have left when I was 19 the
first time he hurt me but I didn't but I am now because it really is more than just me it's her too
