life has gotten worse and worse over the last 6 months 4 years ago I fell madly in love with a co-worker's sister and rushed off to get married with a stupid grin on my face and without a single thought in my head I believed she was everything I was looking for but now I realize I was projecting most of that onto a blank slate she played the part and had the looks but I never saw what lurked beneath the surface let this serve as a lesson to you take your time and be confident Sheila knew
how to make a man feel like he was one in a million and all in the world I realize now that she was an expert at getting what she wanted she played me like she played everyone else and I never saw the real woman behind the facade until she decided I didn't matter anymore over the last year she had become increasingly aloof she went from caring and attentive to disinterested and detached the change was slow at first but her mistake was that in the last 6 months the change was fast and she let me see
it she was out late with the girls but I knew most of our friends couldn't stand her they were just pretending for my sake they saw through her long before I did I knew what I had to do so I called his name is Harvey Madison he's a private investigator I didn't need him to tell me something was wrong I knew it myself I needed facts Sheila had kept me in the dark and I wanted him to shed light on what she was up to it only took him a week I felt such a fool
Sheila was a very very busy girl and I was a clueless husband Harvey was very helpful he provided me with an official signed report along with photos and videos and I immediately did two things I made an appointment with my doctor to have a wide range of blood tests for all known STDs and I made an appointment with an attorney specializing in family law family law is code for divorce it is rightly said a picture is worth a thousand words a good photograph speaks to you can you imagine what a video of your wife sleeping
with some jerk says it doesn't speak it screams get a divorce now my lawyer helped me a lot he said forget what you know don't confront her until we're ready and don't tip her off since you're worried about STDs you probably either already have them or you don't just in case you have the flu right now you can buy little bottles of diced onions at the grocery store buy one stick a pinch in your nose or wipe the juice in your eyes before you go in the house and I promise promise the tears will flow
on their own and your nose will drain she won't even try to have sex with you then if you run out of excuses go on a business trip can you trust your boss I said I could he should send you to the beach for a week we both got a good laugh out of that that's how the wheels of divorce came into motion I started thinking I wonder how this is all going to play out will she cry will she deny everything until I show her the pictures will she make excuses blame me me say
it didn't mean anything or just curse me she'll curse me I almost looked forward to it but the reality was much sweeter it had been a week since my second meeting with Harvey my lawyer worked quickly I had a divorce filing and I was ready for a confrontation with the [ __ ] turns out she was ready too and she threw me a surprise I got home and there was a Mercedes in the driveway I had to park on the street I knew this car well although I had only seen it in pictures and had
never met the driver I stepped inside and the grinning faces of the [ __ ] and the [ __ ] immediately appeared in front of me bill sit down we need to talk it was so hard not to smile I wanted to burst into laughter but I restrained myself this was going to be more fun than I'd anticipated Bill I've been unhappy for a long time Shelia we've only been married 3 years we've known each other for four you've been visi unhappy for a year you've been having an affair for at least 4 months how
am I doing uh I mean yeah I guess it's about that did you know I suspected well then it won't be a surprise to you Bill I'm leaving you and I want a divorce I'm entitled to half of everything but if you keep things simple I won't take more than I'm owed that's very kind of you no need to be sarcastic you mean to say it's not kind mind what no I mean yes stop changing the subject this marriage isn't working I'm out of here good that's all you have to say I looked at the
smirking ass behind her and nodded who's the [ __ ] Bill don't be rude it doesn't make you look good you don't need to know my friend's name he's only here to give me moral support at this I had to laugh what kind of support what in your Behavior constitutes moral support Sheila I don't deserve it bill I didn't mean for this to happen it just happened I've been a loving wife to you I've indulged your inadequate efforts in the bedroom I cooked you dinners I took good care of you but I deserve more than
that it's that simple oh it's not simple at all Sheila you made the private investigator I hired run all over town for a week I laughed looking at that [ __ ] so Henry does your wife Barbara know about your affair with Sheila there was no way they were expecting this Henry's face went pale and he sank into the chair behind him while Sheila was left to act the Goldfish mouth open lips moving nothing coming out I'll take that as a no I glanced at my watch and said she'll know about it any minute Panic
read on his face obviously he wasn't prepared for Barbara finding out tell me Henry do you think a wife who cheats on her husband can be faithful to her lover Sheila's Panic intensified and she began to shake I walked across the room and held out several 8 by10 glossy sheets here Henry these are pictures of Sheila sleeping with a guy named George Ellison last Tuesday Henry's face reflected shock fear at my Approach and rage at the sight of Sheila having fun with George I guess he didn't know and yes my dear wife at this very
moment George is being handed pictures of your adventures with Henry also George's wife Peggy is getting pictures of you and George playing hide the salami so she will surely have thoughts to share with George I wonder what George will say to you at work on Monday he's your boss isn't he Sheila had that classic deer in the headlights look at that very moment the phone rang I wonder if it's George you'd better answer it I can entertain Henry until you get back Sheila didn't move no then you might want to take a look at them
it looks like Henry's been as busy as you have been and when he's not making deposits at Shea's Bank he's bending his secretary over his desk I gave Sheila some pictures of Henry sleeping with a very Lush breasted redhe head in his office this seemed to bring her out of her stuper so let's see if we've covered everything Sheila you slept with Henry behind my back and now his wife Barbara knows about it Henry had his secretary behind your back you also slept with George behind Henry's back and now Henry knows it and George's wife
Peggy knows about your relationship with George and I have attached some pictures of you with Henry and Henry with his secretary so she understands what kind of [ __ ] her husband prefers that reminds me I got tested for STDs but I'm still waiting for the results you might be thinking the same thing Barbara will probably divorce Henry Peggy will probably divorce George and George will probably fire you oh that's what I forgot I made sure your company got the same pictures of you and George together as well as a lawsuit from me because you
rolled George's salami on your lunch hour I guess neither of you will have work on Monday I also gave Henry's company pictures of him sleeping with a redheaded secretary so his employment prospects are not good I turned to Henry and said sorry old man but I just don't like your smarmy face when I finished there was silence in the room I managed to wipe the smug looks off their faces and I headed to the kitchen for beer I could hear voices in the living room but I wasn't interested in what they were talking about when
I returned Henry was gone and Sheila was sitting on the couch I took a pause to calm down I didn't want the neighbors to say they heard me threatening her here are the divorce papers Sheila read them get a lawyer sign them if my lawyer doesn't hear back from you we'll send you to court it's a no fault state and the division of property will be fair but that doesn't mean I can't or won't send pictures to your parents sister cousins and every friend you've ever had I waited until the last remark reached Consciousness if
you expected me to move out you can forget it I like my own bed you can move into the guest room until the divorce is resolved but if you bring any of your how many lover buddies into the house please understand that I will kill you both I'm willing to play by the rules but I will not be cuck old in my own home I hope you take me seriously when I say this Sheila you're not worth going to jail over but there's a limit to everything in the morning Shelia was gone I had no
idea where she had gone and I didn't care
