and I'd like to welcome president zalinsky here to this incredible trap it's going to be a big beautiful trap and we're going to attck him very soon for no reason right JD watch out cuz this Kitty's Got Claws excuse me I'm sorry what I'm sorry I have to jump in here because that's how we plann this what happened to thank you okay SNL did not hold back it's almost like they don't care about offending the guy who was currently melting down every day on Truth social but do you ever wonder what keeps Trump up at night it's not the dozens of lawsuits that he's faced his plummeting poll numbers or the fact that he's still struggling with how to pronounce Anonymous in the failing New York Times by anonomous really an anous what really haunts Trump's dreams are comedians making fun of them especially when it's done in front of millions of people like getting roasted by the Oscars and SNL you haven't said Thank you to us once the past 15 seconds I've been yelling at you uh I've said thank you you didn't say it now but you didn't say it now when you walked in here you didn't say thank you you didn't say anything about us being handsome who are my handsome little boys you ask that one you don't tell us how hot we look okay you don't say if I was gay I'd be all over you too okay and we're supposed to help you but if I could just say you have been talking this entire time I'm sorry does the sign outside say Ukraine house no it says America house Bowen Yang perfectly Nails the unlikable boot licker that is JD Vance you should be thanking the president for trying to bring an end to this conflict you been to Ukraine that you say what problems we have I have been to I've actually I've actually watched and seen the stories there are moments throughout this sketch where you might think wait this is eerily similar to what actually happened in the Oval Office and that's because ironia is dead in reality is now a satire of itself I'd like to thank president zalinski for dressing like casual Star Trek I love Star Trek because this no Dei the white guy was the leader and he bossed around Spock who I believe was Guatemalan and you know what you're also you're not even wearing a suit it's disrespectful who shows up to the White House in a T-shirt and jeans like a garbage person Elon we love your outfit very official and respectful and I love when he gets that chainsaw right next to my head first of all that is not how you treat an ally especially one that is in the middle of War unless of course you're actively trying to Cozy up to Putin then it makes perfect sense and here's the kicker that line is not even a joke it's based on an actual exchange that happened in the Oval Office do you ever why don't you wear a suit why don't you wear a suit you're the highest level in this country's office and you refuse to wear a suit just want to see if you do you own a suit the guy in the back who asked that question would be farri commentator Brian Glenn AKA marger Taylor Green's boyfriend because nothing says a appropriate wardrobe and proper deorum like a woman who once screamed during the State of the Union while looking like she skinned a Yeti for a jacket but even zalinsky who is a former Entertainer managed to mock the GOP to their face yeah yeah have problems a lot of Americans have problems with you not respecting don't have such uh I will wear costume after this war will finish okay yes maybe what maybe something like yours yes maybe some something better I don't I don't know we will see maybe something cheaper than yeah like I mentioned a moment ago the Oscars had their own fun roasting Trump Conan O'Brien and Adam Sandler took direct shots at Trump's unhinged and idiotic press conference what's going on man Adam what are you wearing what what are you doing right now I'm asking you what you're wearing nobody even thought about what I was wearing till you brought it up but just like in the Oval Office with zalinski no one had an issue with his attire but this was part of Trump's planned attack you're dressed like a guy playing video poker at 2: a. m. Adam you know what Goen I like the way I look you cuz I'm a good person I don't care about what I wear or what I don't wear did my my snazzy gym shorts and fluffy sweatshirt offend you so much that you had to mock me in front of my P okay I'm sorry Adam I apologize I I'm going I'm going to oh if I go yeah believeing I have to it's not you no it's not you it's him one more thing Shel and boom right there is a clear n of support for Ukraine with the carefully coordinated yellow and blue outfits representing the country's flag but here's where it gets even better this marks the third beat in a running joke that started back at the Golden Globes with Nikki glacer then made its way to SNL and now straight to the Oscars actually your name sounds like something Adam Sandler would say shallow me a Timothy shallow me oh yeah Timothy shal I think Sor sandor's here sailor can I get a shalow sh I love him too Timothy shy Shel this joke is way too layered for magot of grass but don't worry I'm sure someone will break it down for them using crayon drawings and a Tucker Carlson bedtime story but the Oscars SNL tag team roast didn't stop there and the Russians have been treated very badly with respect to the war and also frankly Anora right Anora was misled and she fell in love and now she might even lose to brutalist it's disgusting which only made this joke from Conan O'Brien more perfect you know Anora is having a good night yeah that's great yeah that's great news two wins already I guess Americans are excited to see somebody finally stand up to a powerful Russian if you want to take the edge off after a long day but don't want the nasty hangovers Soul has you covered Soul's new out of office gummies are perfectly micro doed with hemp derive THC and CBD to give any day that chilling on the beach Vibe I love the so out of office THC gummies especially the night cap that I take before going to bed it's amazing now did you know that you can buy hemp derived THC products in all 50 states because of the 2018 Farm Bill hemp derived THC is now legal and accessible Nationwide I can't believe I didn't know you could buy THC product online like this the out of office gummies help you get that much needed meat time at the end of the day or during the day they're convenient and delicious out of office gummies give you that warm fuzzy euphoric micro do feeling without sending you to the Moon you can go off for a jog watch your favorite TV show or head out to a party whatever floats your boat sometimes getting high can cause its own stress being too high is a thing micro does of THC keep me feeling good without the anxious thoughts Soul was founded 5 Years Ago by brother and sister Duo Mike and Angie Lee Mike is a former world- ranked professional boxer and Angie is an author and professional speaker who had the desire to create natural alternatives to medication that tackle problems they deal with themselves like sleepiness anxiety focus and pain whether you're looking for a sleep aid enhanced Focus or pain relief Soul has all your Wellness needs covered and Soul's products are grown right here in the USA organically farmed and gluten-free so if you want to feel your best head to getold.
com and use code Gabe for 30% off your order that's 30% off your order using Code Gabe one last time getold. com and code Gabe for 30% off anyway back to SNL mocking Trump Marco Rubio's here too little Marco Little Marco you excited to attack our European Ally um knowing Eng l oh man look at Rubio over there fully dissociating he looks like Homer Simpson disappearing into that hedge to quote the late good Tom Petty he's Free Falling true to form just like Marco Rubio in the Oval Office desperately trying to distance himself from the situation as if ignoring it will make it disappear Rubio sank deeper into that couch than JD Vance did during his alleged couch incident it's even more pathetic when you remember that Rubio once boldly declared the US would defend Ukraine forever right after they gave up their nuclear Arsenal following the fall of the Soviet Union when the Soviet Union fell and the early 1990s Ukraine was left with the world's third largest stockpile of tactical nuclear weapons and and strategic nuclear weapons on the planet but they signed this agreement with the United States the United Kingdom and the so and Russia that basically said if you give up your nuclear weapons we these three countries that signed to this will provide for your defense and assure you of your defense and so Ukraine did that they gave up these weapons well now this was signed in 1994 20 years later one of the three countries that signed that agreement hasn't just not provided for their defense they actually invaded them and I want to make a point on this for a second think about if you're one of these other countries around the world right now that feels threatened by your neighbors and the United States and the rest of the world are going to you and saying listen don't develop nuclear weapons don't develop nuclear weapons South Korea don't develop nuclear weapons Japan don't develop nuclear weapons Saudi Arabia Saudi Arabia we will protect you we will watch out for you what kind of lesson do you think this instance sends to them I think the message this is sending to many nations around the world is perhaps we can no longer count on the security promises made by the Free World perhaps we need to start looking out for ourselves and that's why the Ukrainian situation is so much more important than simply what's happening in Europe This has implications around the world and now Rubio sinking into that couch faster than his spine disappeared Donald what are you doing in my office you you you you know I'm the president now right I'm kidding I'm kidding okay maybe not maybe not awesome awesome awesome I you got to make a joke you know you get really J legalize comedy legalize comedy come on legalize I'm so comfortable with all of that no lies detected I mean Elon is pulling the strings behind the scenes not so quietly wrecking the government from within but he wasn't happy about Mike Myers mocking him on SNL he whed on Twitter humor fails when it lies actually humor fails when it's the cringey jokes that Elon says douche is gonna really clean everything out cover his back cover his back come on come on yeah also the free speech absolutist is upset about getting roasted in front of millions of people I guess Free Speech only works when he's the one controlling the narrative they're saying I'm firing people with no calls but I do have cause uh it's cause I feel like it come on GL [Laughter] anytime I see elon's weird glazed over look all I hear is the windows shutdown sound effect Trump's entire Persona is built on the idea that he's Invincible that he's some big bad strong man who doesn't care what people think but comedy wrecks through that image it cuts through the lies the bravado the grift and exposes him for exactly what he is a thin skinned deeply insecure egomaniac who can't take a joke remember last year's Oscars has there ever been a worse host than Jimmy Kimmel at the Oscars his opening was that of a less than average person trying too hard to be something which he is not and never can be get rid of Kimmel and perhaps replace him with another washed up but cheap ABC Talent George slopis he would make everybody on stage look bigger stronger and more glamorous blah blah blah make America great again okay now see if you can guess which former president just posted that on stre anyone no well thank you president Trump um thank you for watching I'm surprised you're still Isn't it past your jail time in the best part these jokes aren't stopping anytime soon especially when a fascist Administration is hent on stripping away our rights every chance they get that's why I continue to make this show comedy isn't just entertainment it's resistance we humiliated this guy and JD finally got to audition for Real Housewives of pic I'm willing to throw a wine glass at anyone and to cap off an amazing week we're going to finally release the Epstein files yes America is going to see all the names from a to S no shows like what was that exist because of viewers like you with billionaires controlling the media and misinformation everywhere supporting real reporting matters now more than ever check out the what was that substack for more episodes articles and breakdowns sign up now to support the show at what was that.
