-Welcome, everybody. Welcome, welcome, welcome to "The Tonight Show. " This is it.
You're here. You made it. [ Cheers and applause ] Thank you for watching at home.
Well, guys, the weekend's almost here, and it's gonna be a big one for movies. Yeah, you got the Melania documentary. [ Laughter ] And you have the new Rachel McAdams film "Send Help," which, uh -- yeah.
[ Cheers and applause ] Which, fun fact, was actually the original title of the Melania movie. [ Laughter and applause ] That's right. Tonight was the official premiere of the Melania documentary at the Kennedy Center.
Right now, Trump is encouraging everyone to see it in IMAX so his hands look regular size. [ Laughter ] But critics are saying the film isn't great. Yeah.
I'm not saying it's bad, but after the movie, Trump took his name off the Kennedy Center. He's like, "Yeah, it's bad. " [ Laughter ] some celebrities went to the premiere tonight, including Dr Phil, former New York City Mayor Eric Adams, and the Chrisley family.
[ Laughter ] Was the first red carpet where the paparazzi took selfies. [ Laughter ] Guys, Congress has been negotiating with the White House about passing a budget bill to avoid another government shutdown. It's coming down to the wire.
Here's what some lawmakers had to say about it. First, Senator Cory Booker said. .
. [ Laughter ] Then Senator Chuck Grassley said. .
. Then Senator Roger Marshall said. .
. Then Senator Ed Markey said. .
. Then Senator John Kennedy said. .
. Then Congresswoman Rosa DeLauro said. .
. Then Senator Jerry Moran said. .
. Then Senator Jon Ossoff said. .
. Then Senator Mark Kelly said. .
. Then Senator Markwayne Mullin said. .
. And finally, Senator Patty Murray said. .
. [ Cheers and applause ] They're having trouble -- They can't hear each other. So they're having trouble.
-They missed some of it. It's a malapropism, yeah. [ Applause ] -Well, people are talking about this.
The second major winter storm in a week is headed for the East Coast. [ Audience "Oohs" ] It is weather -- [ Booing ] It is a weather phenomenon experts are calling January. [ Laughter ] Last week, it was winter storm Fern and now it's bomb cyclone.
Right now, winter storm Fern is like, "How come you get to be a bomb cyclone? I got to be winter storm Fern. " [ Laughter ] Well, some sports news.
This is going viral. A Super Bowl promo image from September featured famous players facing the trophy, right? And if you zoom in, the two players closest to the trophy just happen to be Seattle Seahawks quarterback Sam Darnold and New England Patriots quarterback Drke Maye.
[ Audience "Oohs" ] Now some fans are saying this is proof of a conspiracy and that this Super Bowl matchup was all scripted in advance. That's obviously ridiculous, so I'm not gonna dignify it with a response. But I do want to talk about a different part of the picture.
Now, if you look closely, you'll see that under the Golden Gate Bridge, that's the sea, and on the other side, that's a hill. It's a sea that's at a hill. Sea at Hill.
Sea-at-hill. Stay with me, because I'm just getting started. In the foreground, you see Burrow, right?
Burrow without the W is burro, which is another word for donkey. What sound does a donkey make? Oh that's right.
Hee haw! Now take that "hee haw" and add the sea and the X from up on that hill. What do you get?
Sea-haw-x. Sea-at-hill sea-haw-x. Seattle Seahawks.
-Ha ha! Whoa, whoa, whoa. Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy.
Wait, I just realized something. -Oh, you did? What's that?
-Okay. So, if you look closely, right, at the original picture, you'll see the numbers 4, 21, 13, and 2. So if you line those numbers with the corresponding letters of the alphabet, the results describe this entire conspiracy theory.
D-U-M-B. Dumb. [ Laughter ] You're dumb.
-Oh, my gosh. I really am! Thank you, Quest!
You cracked the code! [ Cheers and applause ] And finally, this week was the "Real Housewives of Salt Lake City" reunion. [ Cheers and applause ] And it got pretty heated.
There was a lot of drama between Lisa and Heather. Now, if you missed it, don't worry, because I'm going to reenact that scene with actual lines from the show. And here to help me to do it is the one and only Liam Neeson.
[ Cheers and applause ] -Are you in character? [ Cheers and applause continues ] -Thank you, Jimmy. Tonight, I'll be playing the role of Lisa, a business owner who is being accused by Heather of leaking gossip.
-And I'll be playing Heather, a med spa owner who is accusing Lisa of leaking gossip. Let's sit here and get ready to go. -I felt very alone, and I wanted to go home.
It's like what you guys do is wrong. I was, like, crying. -What you do is wrong, too.
You leaked gossip. -No, I didn't, and I'm falsely accused by you all the time! -No, you weren't falsely accused.
-I was falsely accused! -I accused you of what I felt was true, and I still believe it's true. -What you feel and the truth are two very different things.
-Well, I think it's true, and I still love you. And I still want to be your friend, which is astonishing. -Well, I don't know if I want to be your friend if you think it's true.
-I do think it's true! I think it's true that you leaked gossip, and I gave you the receipts. But if you're gonna go there, I'm gonna go there!
-I was sharing my feelings! [ Laughter ] But now it's about your feelings! I'm done.
I'm not gonna take accountability for f'ing [bleep] I don't do. No, that's the end of the story. I'm not going to be saying I did something I did not do!
-Okay, but you did it! -Oh, my gosh. I just -- I'm done, I'm done, I'm done.
[ Cheers and applause ] -Liam Neeson, everyone! We have a great show. Liam Neeson is here.
Patrick Dempsey is joining us. NBA legend Reggie Miller is here. We got great stand-up from Nick Thune.
Stick around. We're talking to Liam when we come back.
