What Do You Really Want? - Michael A. Singer

[Music] hi i'm catherine myers associate publisher and new harbinger publications it's my honor to introduce michael a singer best-selling author of the untethered soul and now the antidote so lucky to Kardec michael thank you so much for being here today to share your wisdom with us in this live talk let's get started Oh Thank You Katherine it's an honor to be here now to talk to you all I don't do that of that awesome so I thought that for our conversation we got a half hour together wish I could be with you all more and

I thought an interesting topic to talk about is what do you really want we've talked about wisdom people talk about attracting to themselves the laws of attraction and all those sorts of things but the question really is from a spiritual point of view what do you really want and religions about what you're supposed to want and we know how that works spirituality is not about that spirituality is about looking deeply within and seeking truth clarity that's what it's about so this discussion is has nothing to do with my feeling what you should want are you

even feeling guilty or weird about what you do want the question is what do you really want and the way to do that and I'm gonna be very bad in doing this is to say here's a piece of paper not really but figuratively and I want you to write down what you want just take a little time don't do it take a little time and write down what you want and if you're like most human beings probably first on the list is a good relationship something makes me feel important needed wanted loved secure all that

kind of stuff and so whether you're in a relationship I'd like it to get better someone so should behave at different ways should understand me better etc or if you're not in a relationship how to find my quote soul mate somebody who just fits perfectly with me and just fulfills the meaning of my life and if we're really honest we write down a nice house and a Ferrari or at least some sort of a car and perhaps children and/or perhaps a little time without the children and we make our list nobody's judging just be honest

you put that down the purpose of this discussion is no matter what you put on that list unless you're very highly evolved my experience is it's not really what you want it's not that it's wrong it's just not really what you want and the way I prove that is as follows let's say you put down I want a relationship I want to meet somebody I want to have that special relationship and then I would ask you what if you walked outside after this conversation and all of a sudden there was this bush in front of

you and it started burning like it did to Moses and talking to you and it's opening sentence was I am the Lord your God and I would like to discuss some things with you and said enough things that it knew about you to where you were pretty freaked out that you're actually talking to an omniscient omniscient omnipotent being or at least Bush and the question that gets asked of you is what would you like what do you want I can grant whatever you want and having gone through this exercise with me you feel God thank

God Mickey I'm prepared this is me I thought about it and you say I want a relationship I want to meet somebody I want to have that that thing I've looked for my whole life or I want a house or I want the perfect job I want a job that makes me you know that fulfills what I'm looking for and what this bush what God tells you at that point is I can give you that I have the power to give you that but there's a caveat which you probably want to hear before I give

it to you which is I can give you that perfect person they will be loyal to you they will stay with you your entire life but the caveat is that you will be completely unfulfilled you will feel sad every time you come into the presence you will not feel any love you will not feel any joy happiness meaning but they'll be there and they will dote all over you and they will just be the most perfect partner that they could possibly be or give you the job that you thought would be the most amazing thing

but it's Hollow for you you go there and you thought it would turn you on but it doesn't and you just loathe going to work and you're just not excited about it so therein lies there what do you really want because what you're gonna find is if you were given the opportunity to have a relationship with that person I just described or have the job I just subscribed but it didn't do smart for you and it left you hollow inside you would say I don't want in fact if it's gonna make me miserable inside I

really don't want to keep it away from me and so to move quickly because we don't have a little time here then I say to you you lied to me when you said it was what you really wanted because it isn't true you wanted a relationship it isn't true you are children isn't true you wanted money it isn't true you wanted to travel around the world it isn't true that you wanted etc etc what's true is you wanted to feel good inside you wanted to feel loved all right I feel joy in order to feel

inspiration and excitement meaning those are inner things there are outer things you listed the things you listed because you thought they would give you what you really want and so wisdom yoga spirituality is about going deeper we just talked about working at the root so the truth of the matter is the only thing you need to write you needed to write on a piece of paper when I asked you what do you really want is a sense of total well-being I want to feel love I want to feel joy I want to feel inspiration I

want to feel meaning and depth and you made the mistake of doing it what I call indirectly by saying I want something outside that I think will make me feel that inside so without belaboring the point to go deep and to really be on a spiritual journey you don't let yourself do that anymore because I'm sure there are plenty of times that you said oh my god if only this happened I'd be fine and you know that didn't turn out that way even if it did for a moment it didn't stay that way it's not

like there wasn't anything else you ever wanted and likewise if something was bothering you you sat there and said if only that would go away I'd be fine that again is not the truth so you come down to the point where eventually be totally honest with yourself may sound selfish but you'll see in the end it's not to where you say I want to be happy I want to feel love I want to feel joy I want to feel inspired I want to be turned on inside all the time so now if that burning bush

was sitting out there and you were wise enough then when God said to you what do you want and you said that whoa you're a winner all right how can you lose if from the moment you wake up in the morning you're turned on you're inspired you're excited you can't wait to see what's gonna happen for the rest of the day and you embrace it totally and then at night you've given everything you have you put your head down you fall asleep you wake up again I'm back ready to go that would be a beautiful

life and that's what you're looking for you just think you need all these things in order to get that so now we go to the next step of what I really want and the question that gets asked by a person who's deep and watch her go spiritually is yes I want to feel okay in the side that's really what I want the outside is not what I'm about it just seems to in my past I've had the experience that the outside changes how I feel inside and that's what a wise person starts to realize that

if certain people walk up to me and they say certain things at just the right time in just the right way it turns me on if the same person walks up to me at the wrong time it says the wrong thing in the wrong way it turns me off so I now have taken on the task of manipulating controlling everybody who walks up to me so that they say it right what I want at that time and they don't say what I don't want and it just comes down to I have this list of what

I want and what I don't want and most human beings and most means nine eleven point nine percent have devoted their entire life to getting what they think they want and avoiding what they got what they think they don't want and the emphasis on the word think versus it becomes much simpler when you realize what I want is to be okay I want to feel loved I want to feel joy I want to feel happiness and inspiration so now as you look at that the next question becomes why don't you because your experience is I

can only feel those things if the outside comes in through my senses in a certain way so the depth will you start to get spiritual when you go deeper into this is you ask why is it like that why is it that if I get what I want it turns me on and if I don't get what I want to trims me off and if I get what I don't want it definitely turns me off and if I don't get what I don't want I feel relieved we take that for granted and yogi takes nothing

for granted a spiritual person questions everything why is it that the only thing that really turns me on is when the outside world is exactly the way that my inner state decided it wanted it to be and we could boot we could go very deep into this and talk about it a lot I don't do it very quickly you could create any situation the story I always tell that I use is you just read in the newspaper that there was a 1942 penny that was minted in Denver that's worth six million dollars and the rumor

is that it's floating around your neighborhood well all of a sudden when you go into the store and get change you're looking at your pennies and you never looked at them before they ever did anything for you now you're excited about getting to in fact you asked the cashier how are all antennas but it's 90 cents I'm pennies all right like your whole mindset changed your whole relationship to life changed because you got into your mind the thought that I want to find in 1942 Denver Mint Penney and if all of a sudden you were

given a penny and you look at it and it says 1942 all this rush of energy and spirit rushes up inside of you excitement enthusiasm and then you see it's got a P for Philadelphia instead of a D and all this depression and letdown happens inside of you don't you really you're doing that prior to you reading that article in the newspaper there wasn't any penny anybody give you that would do that to you you are doing that to yourself so you start to realize is that when your mind has a preconceived notion that something

will make me happy you believe that penny would make you happy so therefore you're looking for it you want to get it so you project it out into the world that I'm gonna be okay if I find that penny I'm gonna be okay if I find the right relationship I'm gonna be okay I find the right job I'm gonna be oh the KX cetera et cetera by doing that you set up a condition that said if the world unfolds that way I will open to it I will be receptive I will oh the word is

open we're all spiritual people we understand the word open means my mind will be receptive my heart will be receptive and it is because you open that you feel the joy objects do not give you joy that which turns you on turns somebody else off that was turned you on today turned you off yesterday all you have to do is hear one more thing and your whole mindset changed so it is not proper to think that there's something out there that will ring your bell there is something you decided inside yourself that you will open

if it happens and it is that opening that brings the joy that brings the love that brings the light and that's an absolute truth it's always that way likewise we're closing if you decide I don't want to see a snake out or any one another such a thing as a snake then your whole life is in big trouble because you see a rope you think it's a snake and you close down if on the other hand you don't have that issue with snakes you see a rope and it's a rope and if you happen for

a moment to think it's a snake no big deal but if your mind has has decided I don't like snakes I want to see a snake you know it's gonna do to you so it is this conditioning of the mind we call a mindset is the conditioning of the mind that makes us sort of things turn you on and turn you off and that's where you get your list of what you want and what you don't want it is not true that you want those things what you want is something that will open you so

that you can feel the joy that is natural when you're open and you don't want the things to close you so that you get blocked off from any joy and you get this sense of depression so you have a choice even right at that point and we haven't even gone deep yet you have a choice you spend your life deciding what you want and what you don't want and then chasing it outside or do you want to sit there and work inside to realize all I really want is the joy and the love and if

I stay open I can have those I don't need outside conditions to keep me open so I make it I make a very important point because in spirituality it gets mixed up spirituality is not about renunciation there is no renunciation renunciation says I've decided what it is that will make me happy and I'm not gonna do it well I that sounds rather absurd right spirituality says it was stupid of me to decide what will make me happy instead of being happy with life instead of being grateful and turned on by all of the amazing things

that are happening in front of me and all the past experiences I got to have why don't I just enjoy all that and then come into life filled with love filled with joy and give the whole of my being to the moments that are unfolding in front of me that's what spirituality says so it's not about renunciation it's not about things are wrong and things are right it's about understanding that you did this you did this with your mind you set up conditions in which your mind would open and then your heart opens I mean

conditions in which your mind will close and your heart closes so spirituality is very president you'll say spiritual are logical and reasoning to you why are you doing that if you want to have a beautiful life spin around a planet in Illinois where's why don't you just open it's your heart it's your mind it doesn't need conditions to open it's just you don't know how to do it is you've become used to programs a habitual that you had a past experience as by the way this word comes from how did you decide how did your

mind decide what it is you want and what you don't want you did not make those decisions they were programmed into you by your past experiences all of them so you had a past experience where something was nice with a certain person they looked a certain way they had a certain name they drove a certain kind of car whatever it is and you really was really with high4 he was beautiful years and years ago now one of those things shows up you meet somebody with that as shallows that sounds don't kid yourself you meet something

with the name of your ex you close down even though it's not the same person you meet some of the name of who you had your first date with in high school then it was a wonderful relationship and you open up and likewise when you see a car they had a nice experience in it turned you on so you are programmed by your past experiences such that if they were good experiences they tend to open you when something reminds you of them when they were negative experience they tend to close you and that is where

you get your list of what you want that's why all of our lists are different everyone's listening is totally different someone tells you this is the same as yours they're manipulating you because everyone has had different experiences and based upon those experiences it left these impressions on your mind and you came up with this list of what I want so when you make the list of what you want or what you don't want you're really making a list of your past yes how you came up with those things even colors that you like anything they

are impressions Skinner the psychologist said man is the sum of his learned experiences it's not true it's true that your mind and your heart or that your personal heart are the sum of your learned experiences but you are in there noticing this so I make a big distinction with B F right that you are in there and you are noticing that your mind is the sum of your learned experiences and it is that's what psychology meets spirituality psychology is right all of the psyche your thoughts your patterns your likes your dislikes your problems and then

neuroses etc are the some of your learned experiences but you are in there your the consciousness the awareness of being who notices that what I'm saying is true so basically you come to the point you have to decide do I want to continue letting my past leave impressions on my mind and my heart such that only certain things will open and close me and then I will spend my life chasing after manipulate and controlling conniving whatever you want the world around me so that sometimes it unfolds the way I want or do you want to

sit there and understand that you're the one who's making these decisions it's your mind who's setting up the conditions why don't you just not do that and that's where you get deep spiritual out already at the deepest point and sometimes I quote from you all it was very very deep writing called the third zen patriarch it's the treatise on faith mine it was it was considered by many as one of the deepest spiritual writings ever written its first line is all you need the great way is not difficult for those who have no preferences but

that is not renunciation it is not about getting rid of your preferences it is about realizing that preferences limit your joy to having to match them and if you don't have all of these likes and dislikes and preferences and conditions and so on you're going to find out that life is amazing even the challenges of life are amazing what's wrong with challenges we play sports we like challenges nobody wants to play a team that you beat 700 to 1 every time you play them you want to be challenged you want to be have to bring

out the best of your being if you can get clean inside where you're not being run by all these past impressions we call them some scars in yoga but all these past impressions which are telling you and they are telling you constantly you can only be happy if this happens and you can never be happy if it doesn't and you will never be happy if such as it happens and then you go out into the world chasing this as opposed to working inside on yourself to say I don't need those conditions life is amazing I'm

sitting on a planet spinner in middle of nowheres and there's all these events happening don't worry they will last you I could stay here but while you're here do you want to run around and fight with life and people and places and things and even the weather to try to make it be what you think you want or do you want to work on yourself to clean up this mess inside so you can be open all the time that's what spirituality is about it's not about renunciation this is we run stations too late you've already

decided that you want something you need it to be happy but you're not gonna do it depth spirituality is understanding you don't need anything you don't need anything doesn't you don't do anything but you don't need anything you're a whole and complete within yourself if you open there's tremendous joy love inspiration that Wells up inside of you the moment you open the moment something happens that you like why selfish you feel joy and if something happens you know like watch out fish your clothes that is not teaching you about the outside that's teaching about the

inside that openness is where it's at closeness is not open this is what you really want because what is opening mean it's like opening the blinds if you close the blinds in your house your house is dark it's like that chapter in the untethered soul take down the walls if you close the blinds in your house your house is dark now you have to run around with artificial light trying to figure out how to get some light if you open the blinds you have to do anything the light is coming in but you won't open

the blinds until you're sure nobody's out there and the only the right people are in your house and everything's exactly what you want you're afraid to open the binds you don't feel comfortable so you either decide to spend your life trying to build artificial light inside or you decide to work on yourself so you want to leave the blinds open yoga true spirituality is about taking off the blinds take them off the windowsill throw them out and never ever close them ever again what is the purpose of closing it makes you say it it makes

you dark what is depression total darkness total closeness you have closed off to the flow of the energy there is no reason for that there is no excuse for that this is your world inside it's your mind it's your heart it is your responsibility to not close it how dare you think you're gonna need somebody who will overcome your tendency to close with a job don't give me that job even under your whole life building all these impressions that bother you scare you and turn you on and then you say to me as a relationship

that it's my responsibility to keep your mind open and your heart open when you're in there closing it all the time I hope that seems silly and counterproductive it is your responsibility to keep your mind open it is your responsibility to keep your heart open and once you learn to do that there your mind and your heart once you learn to do that you will feel joy all the time and I mean all the time from the moment you wake up in the morning you'll be inspired you'll love to go to work even if you

went to the same job for 30 years you don't ever get bored why because just energy flowing up inside of you you will get the most of your relationships you'll be able to give the most all moment that are fully in front of you why because now you're a giver instead of a taker when we come into the mode into into interaction with the moments in front of us we're looking to see what we can get we're looking to see how we want them to be we're speaking to change things we're dressing certain ways we're

doing all kinds of things to manipulate the moment so that they will be the way we want and then when they come inside of the turn us on a being who is learned to be open all the time never does that they don't need to do that because they're already feeling what they want to feel they're feeling joy to feeling love the feeling inspiration so now when the moment unfolds in front of them they can give to it they can take this joy and love that they have and they could shine it upon the moment

people place them things are unfolding so this is spirituality it is not about that's why I at the moment I can say your teacher that and I love all teachings it's all fine people work at whatever level work at but this whole thing about abundance and attracting to yourself what it is that you want and how to use mantras and spirituality to make sure you have what you want true spirituality is about not wanting true spirituality is about being filled with joy from inside and then sharing that outside it's not about attracting to yourself what

you want is there a law of attraction people ask me is there a law of attraction yes and you better be scared of it because if it's true then you attract what your mind is thinking you better take a look at what your mind is thinking it's not only when you're sitting there trying to attract something to yourself with affirmation what about your mind all day when it's complaining and it's yellow to people and it doesn't like stuff but if you're attracting that way so you eventually catch on that it is not about getting what

you want it is about learning to find out that what you really want is to stay open and not have conditions on that openness and then it comes down to how do you do that are people capable of doing that or is that just reserved for you know some special beings Buddha and Christ that have walked the face of the earth everybody is capable of that how do I know that if I tell you to pick up five thousand pounds you may not be able to do that in fact you won't she won't be able

to do that so I've told you to do something that you have never done and you're not doing it so you may not be able to do it but if you're actually already doing something you're already doing it and they tell you not to do it you're always capable of that because you're the one who's doing it so inside you are the one who's closing your heart you close it you are the one who's closing your mind you do that they're your thoughts it's your feelings there's nobody else's so you're in there doing these things

so if I tell you the way to stay open is to not close I don't teach how to stay open that's more like finding out how to get what you want I'm interested in you learning to not close but a difference if I say to you I want you to open your heart right now you wouldn't even know how to start but if I say to you somebody says and you don't like don't close you know where to start because it's happening inside of you and you see the tendency to do it all I'm asking

you to do is don't do that and I'm telling you that will take you the whole way don't worry about opening worried about not closing there are gonna be events that unfold in your life that naturally open you a beautiful sunset a bird singing sometimes you get what your mind wants alright you open great nothing wrong with that don't close how come it only last a minute I'm gonna see a beautiful sunset you feel like oh my god I looked into the face of God then you go right back into your mind with all your

problems why why don't you learn to not close once you get some openness start to work with yourself to not close and this is how to get what you really want the teeth the deep spiritual teachings are really teaching how to get what you want but what you want is to feel love and joy and happiness all the time and so if you can get that from within you then can share it and again this is not suffered what did Christ say one of his favorite teachings right man does not live by bread alone but

by every word that leaveth the mouth of the Father only a yogi a spiritual being knows what that means it means you don't live off of what's coming in from outside bread is much bigger than just eating it's all of these circumstances that we need that feed us all right you do it by tuning into the energy within every word that leaves the mouth of the Father that's where the spiritual energy is coming from it's coming from spirit so as you're in there working with yourself you we'll find out that if you don't close you

have access to that energy all the time that I mean all the time no matter what happens to you no matter what falls you if people are just honest with you if you don't get what you want if somebody else gets the job you want you don't get the raise you want these are not these are not terrible things these are things that make you close and when you close you give up the meaning of your life you give up your joy you give up your beauty you give up your love you fall in love

with somebody that's beautiful it's wonderful they do something they slurp their soup they leave the cap off the toothpaste they whatever it is they pull the blankets off in bed right they just do some silly little thing and I'm telling you you're gonna close why would you trade love which is so precious for a stupid little thing like your mind not liking some little trait that somebody has I'm encouraging you to look at it that way and say I'm ruining my relationship and giving up love I decided to not like what this person did or

deciding to not accept this or accept that that's why now you're at the core of spirituality acceptance acceptance surrender what does it mean it means I'm not going to let the outside world close me I have the right to have it beautiful inside nobody has the right to take that away from me this is my world I live in here and that becomes your spiritual work and so I thought many times I teach you in my books you can read the course I do it sounds true you can take it goes into how do you

learn not to close because that's what matters something happens you will see your horse start to close you will see your mind start to complain I always tell people start with the easy stuff somebody's driving 15 miles hour below the speed limit in front of you you're in a rush watch what you do to yourself you know you're not talking that driver they don't hear you you're not doing anything of any meaning but you're in their bothering yourself you're in their closing yourself I can't believe he's doing that look the signs right there why can't

he read this what's wrong with people what are you doing you're making yourself miserable stop it that's for spirituality is don't worry about finding what you want that's too limiting learn how to stay open in the face of whatever is happening if it rains when you don't want it to if it's too hot don't let your mind close you why would you close about the weather you don't want any weather weather is a nice thing it's good that it rains the plants really need it all right and you need the plants learn to accept -

honor respect and appreciate the experiences that are unfolding in front of you they won't match your past experiences of what you wanted didn't want they're not supposed to and they won't the question is you're capable of letting go of this mess you've made inside so that whatever experience I'm fully in front of you keeps you open or cause you to open if somebody's standing in front of you yelling at you and you don't even know who they are it can be fun you don't have to freak out like this is neat I'm standing at Planet

Earth and somebody's yelling at me I dare you to try and be like that I dare you to work with yourself little by little to her nothing can close you I like you I care for you I love you right that's the teaching don't close don't expect somebody else to protect you so you don't close don't expect somebody else to open you after you've closed this is your inner environment you are responsible for it learn practice like you practice piano you practice math you practice tennis practice not closing start with the simple stuff if you

will do that you will find there's this beautiful river of joy that flows inside of you all the time nothing can take it away from you except you it is only by closing yourself to it closing your mind and closing your heart and you won't feel it and eventually you realize it is the nectar of life that inner flow of spirit that inner flow Shakti that interes flow of energy is the beauty of life and if you have that you can share with others you become a blessing on this earth but if you are willing

to keep your personality closing and allow yourself to ruin your life by closing it's not gonna happen so that's the a half hour I've can you care what I wanted work on yourself don't expect somebody else to do it you have the right every day to stay open every day to work every moment it's not meditation it's every moment and second of your life you work on not closing and I guarantee if you do that something very beautiful will well up inside of you and it will eventually get so strong that it will pull you

into it and those are the great high states the great high spiritual states very good thank you for listening we still people thank you for being interested in these things because this is how you fix the world is how you fix everything as you work with yourself Thank You Katherine thank you so much Michael your words were so enlightening and we're so grateful to you for joining us today and thank you all for joining us and for pre-ordering yeah third solo a fifty-two card deck keep an eye out they should be arriving any day in

the mail and we're so excited to share them with you take good care [Music]