Michael Singer - Turning Resistance into Acceptance

one's sincerity at the desire to grow and explore the depths of their being can easily be benchmarked by acceptance versus resistance the tendency within is to resist the vast majority of the time the vast majority of situations there is a tendency a reaction toward resistance it's protection it's separating and getting space so that we can protect ourselves we get into the habit of resistance so strongly that we actually often find ourselves holding back or restraining energies within or from outside even if we think they will be pleasurable even if we think that they might be

what we want it's almost as though we want to hold them so we can check them out and make sure that everything is going to be the right way there's this slowing down there's the whole control issue is done through resistance resistance is very prevalent it is very strong becomes a tremendous habit except on the other hand is very very rare it is rare that things can happen outside it happens sometimes but it's rare that we just feel completely open just completely this thing is welcome to happen to me this is fine now even that

gets subtle because even if we're willing to accept for a moment that this is happening you will start to see resistance to it stop happening all right always control always pushing away pulling toward staying in charge keeping this going so again even pleasurable things even if we do manage to open for a moment resistance comes in in the attempting to hold and make it happen again because then you're resisting the next moment you're trying to keep it the same as the past moment all I can say is if you watch and if you're open don't

get scared because you're going to see a lot of resistance you're going to be very depressed when you see how much resistance there is the move from being stuck to Growing is the shift from resistance to acceptance acceptance is joy because acceptance is not interfering with the flows of energy under the state of acceptance the soul is not using its will to hold energies it is permitting the energies to flow through they will not necessarily stay therefore if they are bother some energies just because you don't resist them doesn't mean you're going to be stuck

with them that's what we think we don't realize it you don't say it but if you'll watch you'll see that's really what you think if I don't resist this it'll get in and it's over I'll never be happy again for the rest of my life if you touch it you get dirty or something but it's not like that it is not like that if energies are permitted to pass through they leave no impressions they cause no problems and in truth you will attain to the point where the very Act of the energies passing through you

is an enjoyable experience it's like the wind blowing through you if you just got dressed up and you have your hair all fixed up and you're going out on some big prom date or something and your hair starts blowing around because the wind is coming and your clothes start getting dis evil because the wind is blowing you'll be very uncomfortable with the wind you'll find find yourself trying to resist it you find yourself going walking pushing holding doing all kinds of things that are resistance to the energy of the wind if on the other hand

you're standing on top of a mountain hiking and a wind picks up and it starts blowing through your hair oh it's really high it's a beautiful experience just feel it blowing across your face your hair is just blowing in the wind and you feel really uplifted that is the difference between resistance and acceptance now you have to understand that life is wind it picks up it changes Direction I told you it's weather you to see it all as weather and it's just blowing through you and past you if you are the person going out on

the prom date you have a hard time with it because you want to keep yourself a certain way you want to hold everything just right and somehow all these different energies are Disturbed in you they cause problems if you're the hiker the Outdoorsman or woman then these winds are beautiful they feel good they feel refreshing you're not afraid of them even cold wind is refreshing and hot wind is refreshing so basically you have to catch yourself resisting you have to watch this process so first you sit down and you realize I want to do this

that's your first step people always always say how do I do that you have to want to if you don't want to do something it doesn't matter what somebody tells you you're not going to do it anyways when it comes right down to it so the only thing that really matters is that you want to do it and the opposite is true too if you want to do it there's not a single one of you that if you really wanted to do something you do it you find a way to do it you don't need

teachings you don't need all these techniques you will find a way to do it so basically you first have to start with do I want to do this do I really want to learn not to resist do I really want to know what it would be like to experience life as it is not how I'm trying to make it not in the way that is most comfortable to me but as it is ultimately it's the only way you're going to be happy because if you spend your whole life fighting and resisting and fearing everything you

have a frightful life it's no fun so you start by checking it out and saying do I really want to be so afraid of all these things do I really want control that's a good question to ask control is a heavy thing to have once you ask for control you have to hold it together forever you have to sit at the console and check all the dials and push all the buttons you don't never get to go on vacation cuz if you go on vacation who knows what's going to happen to all the control issues

you can't look up you can't look down you can't enjoy the Stars you can't do anything you have to stay in control So eventually you get to the point of realizing I don't want to that's not what I want to do it is not that I don't want to stay with my husband or wife it is not that I don't want to continue my job it is not that I don't want to take care of the children it's not that it's not that you want to renounce and run away and be irresponsible it is that

you don't want to be in control that you would much rather experience whatever will naturally unfold and enjoy the experience will there be times when things appear or actually do unfold in a way that causes disturbance inside of you you want a serious answer no matter how high you get yes yes you're going on his writings and books he said write them to the very end he would see that God would test him and things would happen that would create some changes in his energy and he liked that the yogis are not afraid of this

people want to Define Which experiences they get to have I would love to take people aside and say but then you didn't get to have that experience how do you know what experience is going to be the best you only know what your mind is thinking up you have no idea so instead you give up control it's an awesome thing to do you give it up you stay conscious you stay present you stay interacting with the moments that are unfolding before you but you don't take as your Prime motive to protect yourself and to keep

these things under hand what will happen is you will start to feel resistance to everything that's the greatest thing you that's how I know how you're growing is when you say okay I'm just going to wake up from this point just catch yourself when you first wake up and I'm going to go through this entire day and I'm not going to resist anything I'm just going to experience whatever unfolds and participate in whatever energies are brought before me and you're going to find that you probably won't make it out of bed in that state you

don't understand how much you resist it's absolutely inconceivable it's beyond comprehension if you're sitting there and you're married and all of a sudden you say I'm going to do that and then your husband or wife rolls over in bed and their feet are cold and it touches you you resist if somebody starts to get out of bed and so it gets cold and it's blowing or if the window is open you left it open at night and all of a sudden you have to get out it's a little bit cold anything you hear a noise

it don't make any difference in any way shape or form you think for a minute all the work you have to do or who you have to go talk to and you don't want to get out of anything you will resist the touch you will resist the wind you will resist resist the sound you will resist the thought do you see what I'm talking about it is such a habit you have no idea how deep this is we resist all of it and we try to just get it a certain way we make this little

tiny pathway that if it's like this I'll make it through but it's never like that and so we end up getting thrown all over the place and we waste all of our energy trying to control it instead of using our energy to experience and express that's why you always feel people always tell me it seems like I win for years I I can't really touch it it's like life just keeps flying by and it's like I'm not living it because you can't really experience deep enough it's like there's this Haze that I'm living in and

it's all at a distance that's experience and the same thing is true of expression how often do you really feel that you're free to express that you really can take all the energies from within and really share or Express no why it is because of the control issues the control issues want to sit there and say if I get them the way I want I'll really be able to express if you just behave just exactly right and if this is right and the weather is right and the situation is Right whoa I'm going to be

so open you'll be able to stop me and it's the same thing with experience God if we get there on just the right day and everything's right there aren't a lot of people around right I'm not comfortable at all with a lot of people and all this is here and all that's like that who it's going to hit me so deep I can't wait to get there that is control that thing in there wants to stay in control and to the extent that that thing is the boss and is sitting in a control seat it

creates a wall it has to create a wall it is a wall of will that all energies coming in have to stop and say Excuse me sir may I come in there and the control issue goes m what are you going to do when you get in here how can I be sure mellow out a little bit first take a left he wants to check it out look at it control it and then what does it do it goes come on I wish you could watch yourself you stop it first here it is now what

when you decide you let it in what do you do drop your guard you wouldn't know how to drop your guard people try for years and years and years and years and they don't get it down at all you hold it here and when you decide okay this is what you mean by I'll be open all right I'll let you talk to me I'll be open I've decided you know you're not really evil and you're really have I'm good and you're in a good mood you're not drunk and I checked every single thing out now

I'm going to let you in all right you ready all right you in how close you let it in how close not very close at all not a million miles from you just a little bit more than what you let something else in and that's what you feel is open that is not open that is complete resistance at all all times so control keeps experiences from coming in it creates a wall and control absolutely keeps experiences of expression from taking place that's control it's very very strong control is resistance you do not control acceptance acceptance

is when there is no control acceptance is when the energies are free to flow in and free to express out because the little control being is not on guard all right and has released this now basically if you suppress a lot and you have a real strong controlled being then what you hear when we especially when we talk about energies coming out is what I call losing it is that basically the energies build up so strong inside that they're stronger than your control and you go out of control that's a whole another level that's nothing

that's just a blow up so basically it built up inside and it blew up enough to come flying out that's not what expression is expression of the moments that an artist has when the walls come down and the merger and involvement with the work is strong enough to where you merge to where you don't know you're there the control has come down and there's a beauty an unbelievable Beauty in the experience of merger between the inner energy and the outer no walls no control it's pure inspiration pure expression can happen in playing music it can

happen in artwork certainly can happen in love it can happen in many many different things but how often does it happen I don't want to ask I don't want to embarrass anybody you know if it happens twice a year do it the only two times we remember about the whole year years later sure that doesn't happen every day it sure as heck doesn't happen every minute and that's what it should do all right these are not rare moments these things that people call quality time and special moments all of life is quality time every moment

is a special moment the only problem is that the control issues get in the way they get in the way of the energies coming in and they get in the way of the pure energies experiencing and expressing from out how do you get it down how do you release this control issue first understand the discussion we're having is very deep you're not going to go to some weak and intensive and get rid of your control issues you'd like to think so it's not true it's not even close you will be through with your control issues

when you're enlightened because the ego must have control that is where the ego comes from it is attempting to protect itself it is attempting to to Define Itself by controlling the thoughts emotions and outer circumstances so that it's not afraid we've discussed that a million times why would somebody want to control why do you want to control there's only one reason fear fear forces you to want to control if you're sitting there in your skydiving for a while you're supposed to be Free Falling or if you bungee jump all right can you imagine a person

with strong control issues trying to bungee jump it's like every step of the way they're whole holding on there's nothing to hold on to it don't matter you can see it they can't let go you understand that so basically your ego is doing this because of fear it all comes out of fear I want you to watch that all the time well even intimate moments people can't let go they have to be in control why they're afraid even with people you know for so long you're married to and so on you can't let go you

can't get out of the way you it's okay it's true of most people all right it's very rare for people to be able to literally just put it aside and permit situations to take place to unfold and so basically what you have to look at if you want to deal with these things is you have to look at the fear you have to be willing to realize I'm scared and then like I said once you see it clearly you have to be willing to say this is worth an investment this is worth people spend so

much time trying to become a doctor they spend so much time perfecting a relationship they spend so much time don't people come to me and say but meditation is hard I mean look what people do for nothing I mean they get nothing what did they get all right they spend years and years and years and years and years and years and years and they get divorced they sit there and they go to medical school for all these years and they become internal they do all these things you know and then they have to go work

for somebody CU they can't make a living anymore all kinds of things happen to people who invest a tremendous amount of energy into something so of course you have to invest energy into this of course it's not easy of course it's not because the rewards are the greatest reward that ever existed the reward you get from this investment is your life you get your whole life every minute of it every second of it not just once in a while so it is worth the investment once you see that then move move away from control because

that's hard to deal with I don't want to control you don't know what to do and move back to where we started move back to acceptance versus resistance because that's going to be your guide all the way along the way you know what it feels like to resist don't resist notice I didn't say don't feel resistance take no responsibility for the state you're in right now it's not your fault it's all just left over from Fear so if you feel resistance starting to come up don't resist the resistance you're just reinforcing the control issues somebody

with strong control issues who decides not to control will just end up controlling the control nothing happens nothing changes this very subtle don't resist the resistance so you will start to feel the resistance come whatever it is be aware of this see this and when you see yourself saying I shouldn't feel this I don't want to do that that's resistance of the resistance don't do that either now what open right there at the moment where you see it happening the wind is blowing your hair is starting to get messy and all the noise is starting

all right let it get messy no yes don't resist be more interested in learning not to resist than you are whether your hair gets messed up you just brush it again later what's the difference at least you didn't waste the situation where you could learn to not resist eventually you will find things will not hurt you they will not they will pass through you the only thing that hurts is you is this constantly having to hold everything together is painful so when the wind blows each moment just little things each time don't resist don't resist

don't resist be open even if somebody else was wrong even if see what you do is because somebody else was wrong and because you don't like the win you think now your situation is to resist so it doesn't happen again okay and you sit there and do all that depends on how much you want to grow if you want to grow you're watching your own heart and you're saying I am going to use this to explore myself I'm not going to use this to train somebody else I'm not going to use this to protect myself

I'm going to use this to go to God period it's okay believe me you get to do this God likes this so if you are willing to use the wind the situation in order to release relax and release the issues that are going on inside of you you are already doing the work you care about what happens outside doesn't matter it's not going to last anyways it just passes in the breeze it's just wind blowing through it's okay if you're willing to go through it it can't bother you and that's the key so basically you

turn resistance into acceptance on a moment by moment basis period you just do the best you can and that's good enough there's no such thing as that's not good enough it's okay because you did the best you could and the best you could is always good enough period it's not your conceptual good enough but if you are really doing the best you can with each moment you will win you will win it is impossible that you will not succeed absolutely impossible you will receive all the help of all the forces of the universe may not

be tomorrow may not be the next day may not be the next day may not be the next day but if each time you sincerely no games you sincerely do the best you can in turning resistance into acceptance just let it get a little closer just one more time just let it hit the wall let it come all right and what you'll find is it's embarrassing because you're not as as clean as you thought you were that even sometimes when you decide I'm going to let this past through for this hour my parents I'm not

going to get in any fights I'm going to let them talk to me the way they need to I'm going to come to know them I'm not going to try to convince them who I am or what my trip is or make them look at me this way or impress them or get acceptance or do just going to kind of like be there all right so you sit there things start coming you watch it you may find that you can't do it you might find that you might find that it's happening and you're relaxing you're

letting go and the next thing you know you're an argument and you don't even know what happened you were relaxing and now you're fighting and so you catch yourself and you do the best you can in a moment you just keep doing the best you can and have fun at the game it has to be like a sport a sport is no fun if every time you pick up the ball you just run as far as you want that's not what's happening there is a challenge here there is a game here there's a sport there's

a Leela the day that you have set your goals at turning every moment of resistance into a moment of acceptance and you have become wise enough to realize it's not going to happen in one day but you're willing to give it your absolute best every moment and you have decided it's fun you decide there a fun thing to do is to watch resistance and see if you can turn it into acceptance and it's fine with you if you do that every moment for the rest of your life that's a much more fun thing to do

than what you used to do which is try to resist so much that you don't have to resist anymore that's what we're trying to do if I resist enough I won't have to resist anymore I'll get everything the way I want and I won't have to resist anymore and I'll be able to be totally open because it'll stay the way I want that works really good doesn't it it doesn't work at all so you learn to remain centered we've been through that a million times if you have trouble remaining aware of your resistance then meditate

more meditate meditation always works don't come to me and say yeah but you know I'm not having good meditations you are so you are there's no such thing as a bad meditation just the fact that you sat there whatever length of time and you noticed that you couldn't get in is a good meditation because it means you remain conscious you noticed how neuronic you were you noticed how resistant you were you noticed how fidgety you were you became more conscious just because you took that time to sit there that's why meditation is so powerful it

is the gift giving tree it's the greatest act because if you get in huh that's the day tremendous peace comes over your being and there's a door if you can get past the noise it's very beautiful in there but even if you can't get past the noise you practice awareness and Consciousness and you will find then during the day that you will remain more conscious during the day-to-day situations at some point things will start to happen which something inside of you will say I can't accept this I can't accept this I can't accept this and

I know you'll do whatever you want at those moments but we're just sharing those are the most important things in your whole life when it gets to the point that that thing in there is saying I can't accept this I won't accept I will not accept this I will not let this happen it's all the more fun when it's saying I will not let that this has happened I will not accept that this happened to me I will not okay that's so beautiful you're now at the core of your ego you're at the core of

the control issue okay like basically anything that happens anything that's happening is life you cannot separate it out and say the part I want is life your alternative is to not say I will not let this happen to me or I will not let this have happened to me and no I will not accept this I will not accept this I will not all right instead you sit there and say oh boy this one's going to be fun simple as that things that big they only come around once in a while how would you waste

it can you imagine if you took that party he was saying no and just said sorry you and I were on different sides of the team this time you play ball your way I'm going play ball my way he don't like that at all no you understanding you're supposed to be on my side I thought I thought you were my friend I am your friend but we're going to do it different this time I'm just not going to put my heart into resisting way is I'm not but what if it's really painful then I will

use the pain to take me to God I will certainly not spend my whole life avoiding the pain fearing the pain and so you let the wind blow on that part of your being and you'll find that it doesn't hurt it doesn't hurt it's not an issue it's okay it is your resistance to the energy that hurts the strongest wind in the world can blow through you I was thinking the day that it's like a Hercules task remember when Hercules had to clean the stable that was one of the Hercules tasks the horse stables and

no one could clean them in the period of time he was given and they all thought he was going to fail and he'd go in there with a shovel and start digging all this stuff out and it would take a year and he had a day and instead he went outside the stable and he redirected the course of the river just swung it so it ran right through and wof and two 2 seconds the water washed all the Stables absolutely clear and he succeeded in that challenge in that task this wind is the same way

you ain't going to get nowhere messing with the stuff yourself open up and that wind will blow through you and don't resist when it's here and don't resist when it's here and don't resist when it's here and don't resist when it's here and don't resist when it's here and it will blow right through you and take everything it needs to take and you'll honor it so now do you see how to work with it it's your choice turn resistance into acceptance