5 Things Narcissists Hate the Most

there's no room for two people's realities in a narcissistic relationship always keep that in mind these relationships work as long as they can Dominate and control you and once you challenge that Dynamic it cannot work so the short answer to that is they will blow up or they will leave we're going to continue talking about those red flags for narcissism remember red flags early detection system pay attention have you ever noticed this happened within to somebody who's narcissistic they get bent out of shape when they realize that they're not special and again this red flag

series is meant to be a way especially in a new narcissistic relationship to pay attention to patterns and learn about patterns that are telling you early on that this relationship could be a problem now I'm going to say a quote I've said it I think a couple of times on this channel I'm going to say it again it's actually from the movie The Incredibles so not exactly a high culture but I think there are always some interesting gems and those damned Pixar films which I have to I had to watch for years at one point

there's a sort of sad character in The Incredibles name syndrome and he says something to the general effect of if everyone's is special then no one is it was interesting syndrome the character had some of the feel of a vulnerable narcissist he wanted to be a superhero so I think he tried to make some special boots or something like that to have super powers but the actual superheroes were in had inborn superpowers and he was forever resentful of not being seen for his superness and the Privileges the super people had and he just got more

and more angry and kind of made a mess out of everything with his sort of quiet rage the line stuck with me if everyone's special then no one is because obviously one from a sort of happy rainbow Place could argort joyful unicorn Place could argue that everyone is special and unique but perhaps maybe the true anti-narcissist line is even if everyone is in their own way special everyone should be treated the same and subjected to the rules in the same way now the core of entitlement and going one step further entitlement is one of the

cores of narcissism is that someone believes that they are special in fact more special than others and as a result they should be accorded certain privileges that other people don't get and that may mean that they believe the rules apply differentially to them they should not be punished if they do bad things the same way others should be punished if they do those bad things or the rules should apply to other people but not to them there is an inherent hypocrisy and delusion built into entitlement when a narcissistic person's entitlement gets challenged and a narcissist

is not being seen as special then shame and inadequacy get activated and rage always follows so as a red flag this idea of not being special can come out in a few ways some of this resonates with another concept that we've already talked about as being a red flag for narcissism which is their inability to cope and their reactivity in situations in which they are frustrated or disappointed or stressed at the time those things happen it's a sort of reminder that they aren't special right because only ordinary people get frustrated I shouldn't have to put

up with that but the red flag of not being special especially in the earlier phases of a relationship can come out in a variety of ways for example you're in an early in a friendship or relationship the ways it can come up with is that they have to wait in a line with everyone else even when they are a regular or a VIP at a given business or a venue when they don't get to board an airplane ahead of other passengers when they don't get the special labeled parking spot right in front of the building

when they're not able to get into the nightclub or other hot spot that has some sort of person at the door deciding who is getting in or not when I am talking about special I'm not talking about the specialness that is related to human uniqueness or for example doing something that's very special and kind like I don't know like making someone a special homemade birthday cake by special I mean it the way narcissistic people see it that they are so special that they should get special privileges and perks that other people don't get I guess

the other people don't get to get them because they're not so special so when that specialness balloon gets popped because the narcissists are treated like everyone else look out the things that follow tend to be rage irritability reactivity maybe all kinds of other sort of noisy clangy reactive behaviors things like I'm gonna write a terrible review online about you I'm going to put something on social media or some of those other kinds of dominant shaming posturing behaviors things like when I'm done you're gonna be out of business because nobody's ever going to want to come

here again or they will threaten to file grievances or lawsuits to punish you because they weren't treated as though they are special this whole idea of being special red flag can also be activated in a different direction if they feel someone is being seen as more special than them as you know I'm based in Los Angeles the celebrity Mothership and so people's belief in their specialness is on steroids in La a garden variety narcissist who may be not be famous but a little famous may watch a much more famous or renowned or notorious person getting

the VIP treatment somewhere being quickly ushered into the restaurant getting the best table in that place or a private table lots of people taking pictures of them and the narcissistic person watching this scene unfold may actually literally have a visceral reaction to watching someone else be the special one and it have to be on this grandiosa scale it may be that in line at that business where the narcissistic person regularly goes to do whatever then they're being made to stand in line but to watch that someone else who may be more important to the business

owner or for some other reason someone else actually does get to jump the line again what you're often likely to see is a rage fireworks show when that happens either passive aggressive Rage or over rage it's almost a one-two punch not only is the narcissistic person seeing that they are not the special one but on top of that it turns out someone else is now in my life for a variety of reasons I have to fly a lot I used to do it more before the pandemic but even during the pandemic I saw to fly

a lot and for me airports are like a narcissism Laboratories entitlement is always on display how people board the aircraft how they store their bags once they get on the aircraft how they manage their armrests and the Leaning of the seats how they behaved when they didn't get their way on the airplane or when they're boarding the airplane and and how they behave in the rushed experience of the airport or in them rather tight uncomfortable confines of the airplane When people's specialness was not being recognized then that is when you'd see more of this angry

behavior emerging there's actually very interesting research out there that shows that when people have to walk through the first class cabin to get to the coach cabin that there are more incidents of air rage on those flights than if the coach passengers board right into the coach cabin my guess is that those folks who are ragefully acting out on flights probably narcissistic types if they saw that others had bigger seats and better stuff than their you're not the special one trigger gets activated and then they go off on their fellow coach passengers red flag now

to identify this red flag look for things in a person like them bristling at rules that everyone else has to follow having contempt for rules that have been set and always trying to find a way to work around those rules or skirt them or bend them or even break them asking to speak to the manager or other authority figure if they aren't getting their way a person's volume Rising as they try to get their specialness seen or a lot of sullen clangy rage if they're not being seen also pay attention to how they may be

reacting to someone else getting special treatment is there anger disparagement contempt or a disproportionate reactivity if they see someone else getting better treatment than them if the rules are bent for everyone then why should we even have them we are definitely in an era of entitlement where everyone thinks that the rules are great for everyone else it's not for themselves and if we do that that's called Anarchy but the bad behavior that can follow confirmation that in a given situation that someone is not special can be a very important red flag to pay attention to

so if you're in a new kind of friendship or relationship and you see that somebody gets bent out of shape when they're not the special one file that away you probably might be dealing with a narcissistic situation what's the best way to reject a narcissist so this is one of those subtle videos that came to me in the middle of the night as they often do and I jotted that down on a piece of paper so you're not going to like this video because it's going to be like oh this is so feel good but

it's not really what's the best way to reject a narcissist accept yourself now I know that sounds like something the cutesy that belongs on a cute Instagram post but let me break it down before you just tune out narcissistic abuse works because they in an almost parasitic way overtake your sense of identity your sense of self your preference is in you and because of that by the end of the relationship you're basically sort of living in their service walking on eggshells to avoid setting them off convincing yourself that you do like the same things as

them to avoid conflict accepting the toxic conditions of the relationship and justifying it and clipping away at your Ambitions basically to make the relationship work you stop being you so what if you didn't what if you held your ground on being you if you do it early enough the relationship simply won't work if it's a new relationship they will get tired of not being able to dominate you now what if you try to do this in an existing relationship it's not going to be so easy because you're going to be baited gaslighted devalued dismissed invalidated

and mocked and you'd have to really White Knuckle that and then you have to be prepared for rejection and abandonment because they're not gonna odds are they're not going to stick around but if you're willing to have that happen for them to go then accepting yourself is actually the healthiest path forward think about it if they tell you that you are crazy or remembering things wrong or lying or invalidating or gaslighting you may say I'm not listening to that it's not an accurate characterization of me then they would mock you and you could say no

you know what this exchange is disrespectful and then step away they will fume they will rage they will tantrum and this will go on for a while they may criticize what you do or what you wear or what you eat or what you watch and you may say ah well no I think I did that well or I like this dress or I love this kind of food and this is a great show you accept you you don't try to defend it you don't try to engage with them you accept what it is what you

like what you're about now I know that this is basically the triple black diamond of taking on a narcissist and you're just a beginning skier because most of us don't know how to accept ourselves after multiple stints of narcissistic abuse we still doubt ourselves but at a minimum we know if we like a TV show or we know if we like the taste of a particular food accepting ourselves means not getting into an argument about what we know if they stay if they say the sky is green then you say enjoy that that sounds pretty

and then you let it go If you experience narcissistic abuse as a child this is really hard it can feel pretty damn near impossible because the first phase of healing is finding you often for the first time not shaming who you are or rejecting yourself or feeling like you have to shapeshift to be loved that takes a minute but as you get better at it you find that as you accept yourself more that narcissistic family or those narcissistic family members become less interested in you and you may get cut out of the system actively rejecting

them is not easy it means fight and conflict that can get really cruel and uncomfortable accepting yourself is a far more Serene and self-preserving path to take that will pay dividends it's sad the the best way to dump them is to accept you but it's almost like repellent to them you accepting you doesn't work for them so try it and see how it works out for you and the good thing is like I said the ultimate dividend is you don't have to actively reject them I can feel painful and difficult it may not be in

line with who you view yourself with as a empathic compassionate person but accepting yourself is always a good way to go but be prepared the more of it you do the more likely they are to either mock you or cut baits let's face it everyone in toxic relationships is told one thing set boundaries right in fact everyone in every relationship is told to set boundaries in all of their relationships family relationships intimate relationships workplaces relationships friendships right we have boundaries it's a big issue right boundaries means being clear on issues ranging from time to communication

to sex anything to give ourselves permission to set a line to feel safe and to communicate that line right I'm guilty of this right is one of the even the elements of healing I put out there is giving the guidance that you should attempt to set boundaries in a narcissistic relationship in some ways it's a test and once you see the narcissistic person will ignore or continue to violate the boundaries please view that as a bit of a wake-up call I know that the boundaries won't work but many people want to rule everything out before

they think a toxic relationship is absolutely done so you set the boundaries you actually may get stronger you might get stronger through therapy maybe because you've been educating yourself about narcissism maybe you just get stronger from shear exasperation but you get stronger you follow the guidance and you really finally do it you set the boundaries and then you know what the narcissist does they call you controlling I hear this over and over again from people who attempt to set boundaries in their narcissistic relationships for years they didn't set boundaries in these relationships because they were

confused or they blame themselves or they did not understand what they were dealing with some folks did not set them because they just didn't know how to set them I mean let's face it the vast majority of people are not taught how to set boundaries in childhood and if you had a narcissistic parent then forget about it you were never given permission to set boundaries and if you did you would have faced rage and Punishment and if you didn't even get to see boundaries being set maybe even by your other parent or within the family

system and you didn't see them being enacted it's hard to do something that you were ever taught or that you were never given permission to do but once you set the boundaries anywhere it may be directly with the narcissistic person it may be with someone or something else and your boundary setting is observed by the narcissistic or and by a narcissistic person in your life but when your boundaries are observed you you setting boundaries is observed by a narcissistic person they will likely tell you that you're being controlling and obviously that's a bit of a

projection so let's lay this out as a bit of a scenario right you are in a narcissistic relationship let's say it's with a parent right but you can substitute anyone in there the parent expects you in a very entitled manner to keep doing things for them as soon as they ask you to do them it is eating into your time and making your life difficult and you're very busy you have tried in gentle and appropriate ways to push them off try to get siblings to help or done what they needed in a rush but more

often than not you do what they need to get done but you're getting more resentful finally one day after taking so much time to do the many frivolous things that the narcissistic parent expect you to do when they expect you to do them with little awareness of how this is affecting you you tell the parent hey I can't I can't do this every day I can do these things like once a week and that's it anything else is going to just have to wait till the next week and please also don't call me during work

hours because it's quite disruptive and then you do that good boundaries and the parent accuses you of being controlling cold and maybe even manipulative it can be quite startling to have someone tell you that you are controlling after years of walking on eggshells and then finally making clear what you would think would be clear to any self-aware person but there's the rub they aren't self-aware that's the issue you me all of us we all exist at their need and at their whim they are delusional enough to think that we are the problem that they are

always right and that we have no right to set a boundary and if we are then we're being controlling narcissistic people pathologize and shame qualities and others which make their lives more difficult or pick away at their sense of grandiosity and entitlement if they are the greatest and all-powerful well then how could somebody actually set boundaries on them I mean nobody sets boundaries with the King right if you from an early age saw the message that setting boundaries was a bad thing and then attempted to set boundaries and are then told that you are being

controlling it can discourage you from wanting to set them or from setting them at all narcissistic people find that shaming and calling you crazy works and these comments often will stop you from engaging in the behavior that's inconveniencing them so it's a really really clever manipulation isn't it setting boundaries with narcissistic folks will not result in them changing their behavior or honoring the boundaries but it will perhaps result in you opening your eyes wider to what you're seeing I know that some people don't set them because they are afraid of the narcissistic person's Rage or

they are afraid of losing the narcissistic person from their life the narcissistic relationship is often about all of us holding back because we are afraid they will they will disappear if we ask too much or set a boundary that is your work because this is an unhealthy space and for all of us to work on unpacking our trauma bonds to help diminish the power of the narcissistic folks in our lives as a result many people in narcissistic relationships often in order to survive will find themselves immersed in denial by not setting boundaries you don't then

have to see how bad the narcissistic relationship is but once you do set the boundary and witness their reaction it's a painful and Stark reminder of how dysfunctional the relationship is it can be easier to not set the boundaries at all and remain in denial because once you set the boundaries and see what it really is about the grief can be overwhelming but that in the long run is not good for you so with boundary settings start small start practicing boundary setting with the healthier people in your life who will be willing to respect the

boundaries and then start building up those boundaries in other areas it can be painful to witness what happens in the relationships when you do set boundaries but even if you stay at least you will do so with your eyes wide open and not believing that this is going to change and no setting an appropriate boundary is not controlling no matter what they say to you so here's a question what do you think narcissistic people do once they lose control of you drop your answers in the comments I think some of you already know the answer

to this because you're living it the primary dynamics that drive a narcissistic person in a relationship are power control and domination and the narcissistic person uses the relationship as a source of validation if those needs are not being met or cannot be achieved that is a contributor to the volatility of these relationships so if you are in a relationship with a narcissistic person and do get more power or control or exert your autonomy the narcissistic person is going to react badly so here are some examples of this one could be that you're the adult child

of a narcissistic parent and you no longer need them for money or housing or you make your own way in the world and they were using money to control you you are in a narcissistic relationship and you get a promotion or a new job that may put you in a more powerful or well-paid position or you leave an abusive tyrannical narcissistic boss to take another job or start your own Venture where they cannot control you in the day-to-day anymore the responses to this can vary in some cases you will see the narcissistic person try to

keep you small tell you that you're probably going to fail or that you're kidding yourself if you think you will be able to pull this new thing off or that this success of yours is temporary or fleeting or that you better be careful what you wish for because it may all be a big disappointment and won't you feel foolish when it all falls apart in some cases you will see that vulnerable victimization we so often see in narcissism oh what was me we'll say the narcissist everything goes your way I guess you won't need me

anymore I guess my life has just been so unlucky things come really easily to you I always have to work hard for everything I get that kind of thing in other cases you may experience abandonment they may want to leave say or say they want to leave the relationship and cut you off give you the silent treatment or even imply that maybe this relationship won't work because you will be so busy in your new job or they may go full on Revenge on you this may be for example a smear campaign by that tyrannical boss

who tries to bad mouth you and bad mouth you bad mouth your new Endeavor or talking with other people about you and saying bad things or holding back on a piece of information that you may need they will actively try to sabotage you remember what healing is about in these relationships finally crawling out of the subjugated space that you had to remain in to keep this relationship going silencing yourself making yourself smaller pretty much clipping your own Wings not individuating or developing your own autonomy of any kind but healing also means as you individuate that

you will incur the Wrath displeasure or Frank abandonment by the narcissist your growth is not something that the narcissistic person can tolerate especially because it means they're going to lose their power and their control so when you slowly slip out of their control you become an object of contempt you stop being Supply you're a headache and they want to put you back in your subjugated place they want you in the service of their ego not growing as an individual yourself narcissistic people do not like relationships that they cannot control which is often why they are

so focused on getting into leadership positions by being in charge they can control and that could be everything from being the shift manager at a fast food restaurant to the CEO of a corporation it's all about control might be small scale might be big scale but it can it's control when a narcissistic person senses that they are losing control of you you can expect this entire Litany of reactions and they may shape-shift and shift strategies too something some vindictiveness then victimhood then abandonment it can be a painful realization and a difficult part of healing that

your growth your advancement your aspiration you simply becoming you was never going to be allowed in this relationship you may have suspected it but when it really happens you see it many people who are in very or very trauma bonded in these relationships know that the implicit message is that if you grow they will leave and the fears that go along with it means that many people in narcissistic relationships have shrunk themselves for years to make it work because no they will be pissed off and then they will continue to berate you or abandon you

if you dare ever get out of their controlling grip there's no room for two people's realities in a narcissistic relationship always keep that in mind these relationships work as long as they can Dominate and control you and once you challenge that Dynamic it cannot work so the short answer to that is they will blow up or they will leave but that idea of either facing the rage are facing the abandonment is so overwhelming for so many people in a narcissistic relationship that even though it's not intentional that you may find yourself holding yourself back and

not expanding yourself to all the full potential that you have because of that fear and because the narcissistic person will not lose control of you and you might feel too scared of what will happen if you did my only hope for you someday is that you do when we play out the usual narcissistic relationship cycle idealization devaluation discarding and hoovering it can look like the narcissist is fully in control it feels that the narcissistic person is the one pulling the strings doing the love bombing engaging in seduction or doing the Deep dive into pseudo-empathy and

once they have you they start getting uninterested in you right they devalue you it's their contempt at the point they have you and they're incapacity for intimacy the chase is typically the most engaging part of a relationship for a narcissistic person and then oftentimes it's them who decides to leave or at least threatens to leave but sometimes and I would argue far more often than you would think people leave narcissists and in fact as we get more awareness of narcissism and narcissistic abuse I think people are actually leaving narcissistic relationships more often than we think

because people are recognizing that these patterns are probably not going to change when you leave a narcissistic relationship in general The Narcissist does not like it it means that they have lost control of the narrative and frankly lost control in general it means that they're going to be losing validation losing whatever conveniences you brought to their life and losing power their responses to being left by you or being left by anyone will range from Rage to mockery you really think you're going to make it without me to seeming indifference but the peace that many people

forget about is that people who are quite narcissistic or narcissistic personality styles are very vulnerable to feelings of abandonment we often view abandonment in line with more sort of fragile or despairing personality patterns or mental health issues I think that the narcissist is too cold for that abandonment though is also a bit of an interpretation issue abandonment can even be experienced when somebody just goes away on a trip or goes to work or just goes home for a little while just that moment of separation activate something quite Primal in people who are narcissistic it's not

true that narcissists are immune to Abandonment for a variety of nuanced psychological issues narcissists do not regulate abandonment well some of this relates to work that comes from the world of attachment theories which hold that people who have narcissistic personalities are likely to have attachment styles that are characterized by anxious disorganized or avoidant patterns as a result it can be very very difficult at A Primitive level for a narcissist narcissistic individual to safely put Roots down with another person for people with these kinds of attachment Styles the moment of departure is always very difficult for

them it activates all that attachment stuff now some of you in relationships that are characterized by narcissistic patterns or who have been in these patterns and these relationships in the past you may recognize this pattern let's say in a narcissistic relationship you may need to have to be away from each other for a few days or a few weeks a business trip or some other travel a work thing a family issue that needs to be dealt with and the day of departure is getting closer and closer notice that things will get more and more tense

in your relationship and the narcissist will get more and more agitated they will start arguing with you about small things the relationship will just feel more difficult you may feel frustrated because you want your last few days or hours with this person to be pleasant but the more you try the worse they behave and you may get into a blowout battle on the way to the airport or whatever as you get to the hour of departure a similar pattern can arise when you see them again when they get back from the trip or when you

get back from the trip instead of falling into each other's arms with each other you may find that your your narcissistic partner a narcissistic person may be tentative almost detached dis and distant these patterns are not uncommon in people who have these attachment issues anxious or avoidant or disorganized attachments and all of this is consistent with the idea that that upcoming departure starts triggering this primitive abandonment feelings and the coming back together is actually kind of characterized by anger I can't believe you left me in the first place and this happens even if it's the

narcissist who was the one leaving on the trip doesn't matter who's going is it you guys are parting ways for a little while and all of this is because abandonment is a very primitive experience it's not an adult goodbye see you later I'll call you when I get there and you feel confident that you will see them later it's the terror a baby feels because it doesn't understand that their caregiver is something separate from them and they can't understand what happens when that person leaves the room it's like a part of them goes it's primitive

and the narcissistic person as an adult it's obviously not in touch with this as a result when somebody in an adult relationship with them is going where are they're going away for hours days maybe in some cases forever internally they experience it as a cataclysm now people with antagonistic personalities are high inequality called rejection sensitivity the experience of rejection for them is emotionally unsettling and they are often quite hyper reactive in the face of any kind of rejection even someone not wanting to come to their house for dinner this is sort of a lower grade

level of Abandonment fear may not be as big but that rejection sensitivity can explain some of the excessive reactivity that rises in any form of criticism or again not showing up you say I can't come to lunch today they may interpret that as a really Primal loss of Love or regard now outwardly despite all of this fragility it's a different story remember a person with a narcissistic personality does not like to look weak to other people so they will deny the impact of these departures and are actually more likely to rage against you because you're

the person who has activated these uncomfortable feelings they don't understand then they are going to be wanting to understand them you may be so used to them being the controlling dominant one in the relationship that you are surprised that they are becoming so fragile in the face of an upcoming or even possibly sort of threatening super separation to them that doesn't even exist and when you try to become sweet and soothe them they may actually become more contemptuous because in some ways you're sort of bringing their fragility to light fears about abandonment and strong reactions

against it are often considered to be a part of what is designated as what's traditionally been thought of as a borderline personality style abandonment and borderline personality are often viewed together but the borderline and narcissistic personality styles are sort of closely related in terms of some of their Origins so the abandonment crises of the narcissistic personality just theoretically in light of the attachment stuff does make sense we just aren't expecting it with a narcissistic individual because we don't see the same levels of sort of Despair and instability that we might see with for example more

of a borderline Style the issue of abandonment can also explain hoovering you may be wondering if they're afraid of abandonment why would a narcissist leave and then try to pull you back and they might try to pull you back if you're the one who left but why interestingly narcissists will often leave relationships because sometimes when people are afraid of something they try to get ahead of it they try to abandon the other person first it allows that person the lever to control the narrative to control the fear it's like knowing when the scary part of

the movie is going to come rather than being startled by it but after a person who tries to kind of get away or get ahead of the abandonment by pulling out themselves there can be a sort of primitive attempt to work this through can I bring that person back that disorganized approach avoiding go away no come back no no go away no come back that's the style that often characterizes narcissistic relationships and that's where you often see the hoovering and you may fall for it and then the whole cycle starts again again it's like the

child that aggravates the mom the mom does step away and the child's like I want to get Mom back the fear of Abandonment shared by many narcissists is often related to the fear of losing validation narcissistic Supply control and then there's the activation of Shame scripts around being rejected and when you think of it that way it may make more sense but all of this adds to the roller coaster quality of any relationship with a narcissist so that begs the question what's the antidote to abandonment how do how do any of us keep our abandonment

fears at Bay by feeling secure and safe in the world now how does a person get there if they didn't have healthy attachment experiences earlier in life it comes down to therapy and doing the work doing the work of self-compassion of self-reflection of self-awareness and recognizing that emotions are not scary none of this comes easy to people with narcissistic personalities and so for some of you you have some of you many of you didn't have early secure attachments but you have been able to do the hard psychological work of helping yourself as an adult feel

safer in the world for a narcissistic individual though that is highly highly unlikely there will always be the sense of threat remember something I've said throughout these videos think of the narcissistic individual as somebody who feels a constant sense of threat from the world they always feel like something is coming at them right and even when there's nothing coming at them part of it is sort of what they're saying to themselves in their own head an abandonment is pretty high on that list of threats a person with a narcissistic personality style feels a great example

of this would be some of you who have been in narcissistic marriages you yourself would say I don't want to get divorced I don't believe in divorce I want to stay married I have to stay married we have kids together our money is like this it's my culture It's My Religion whatever your reasons are you don't want a divorce you're in a narcissistically abuse of marriage and one day you finally you can't take it anymore but in your relationship throughout the relationship something that is not unusual in a narcissistic marriage is that the narcissistic partner

will threaten divorce threatening divorce or threatening to leave a relationship and not doing it is actually a form of gaslighting it's a way to keep the other person on their toes so they fall in line with you because they think that oh if I don't fall in line with them they're going to get up and leave so it's not an uncommon Gambit by a narcissist well here's where it gets interesting more often than you would know the person in a narcissistically abusive marriage especially the one who doesn't want to get divorced will hear this threaten

over and over again yeah I'm in a divorce I'm going to call an attorney I'm out of here you the non-narsik I don't want this to happen okay okay what do I need to do one day like I'm done you you want a divorce sounds great I'll give you one then the narcissist will often say I didn't mean that I need to work on this Boom the abandonment script got activated as long as they were running the narrative they were the one who could threaten divorce then they were in control of it especially when they

realized you didn't want it but the day you give in and say great you want a divorce I'm all in let's let's call this done it is amazing how often the narcissist will say what do you mean that's what I mean about that abandonment always being sort of the Baseline the sort of the back thrum to one of these relationships so I hope that gives you some insight it really speaks to some of the vulnerabilities inherent in this personality style and if it happens to you or happen to you I'm hoping this gave you some

clarity again if you're new to this Channel Please Subscribe join us it's a great community and look forward to seeing you again