how to emotionally DETACH lead an unbothered life

picture a life where you're unshakable where setbacks don't send you off course where issues come up and they don't affect your emotions when your inner peace is always in check no matter what is happening around you it sounds nice doesn't it well it can happen that is very much possible and the answer is detachment now in order to learn Detachment you need to understand attachment and what that actually looks like most people tend to think of attachment in relationships whether it be in a good way or a bad way but here's the thing attachment goes

further than relationships it actually sneaks into every area in our life it could be a project a work that you keep stressing over but it also could be a mistake you made in the past that you can't keep thinking about we find ourselves attached to things situations and people all throughout our life in relationships it could be that you're constantly seeking validation from your partner and feeling anxious when they're not around or with work it could be tying your identity and your Worth to a promotion it could even be in your health and fitness the

constant nagging that you're not good enough because you happened to skip the gym yesterday but here's where it gets interesting attachment isn't just about our emotions it actually changes how your brain works research shows that when we are overly attached our decision making goes out the window we begin to make decision based on fear and Desperation instead of what's actually good for us it's like our brain goes into survival mode when there's not even a threat to us that all is what attachment is and how it's actually affecting your life high levels of attachment can

cause stress can cause anxiety can cause the feeling of desperation and neediness and let me tell you that all is the fastest way to push away whatever it is you're trying to hold on to so now you understand what attachment is and you may be able to pick out certain places in your life where you have it now let's talk about Detachment because that is the key to Breaking Free of all of these patterns first thing with Detachment is the common misconception and that is that you're cold that is it's about not caring and that

is not the truth it's about caring but in a healthy way it's about navigating life's ups and downs situations that happen things that don't go our way and still being able to keep your call it's the ability to step back and see the bigger picture it's about understanding that you can't control everything and that's okay it doesn't need to have your emotions get heightened in the process in its simplest form Detachment is letting go of control and emotional attachment to certain situations our plan B is God's plan a he's already got it figured out he's

already got the plan in place the timing set and it's all his will be done not ours understanding that believing in that trusting in that allows you to detach from all the things that happen I think that trusting in God's plan is the biggest key to Detachment because when things don't go my way I know God's got something better planned when things are happening and there's turmoil and I get a curveball in life and I'm not sure how to handle it I know that there's a reason why it's happening just saying these principles may seem

simple but when you actually sit and break them down what they mean they will change your life and still trying not to be a control freak this is hard I want to be able to control the things that are happening and once I release that my life changed so why is attachment so important to lead you to living an unbothered life while well it's because it's all about Freedom it's all about understanding that everything is working in your favor when you're not attached to outcomes you're free to enjoy the journey you can take risks without

fear of failure you can love without the fear of loss you may have something happen that you aren't sure how to handle it but being detached and having control over your emotions you know you're going to figure it out now next I want to talk about attachment to other people's opinions because this is how you are going to lead an unbothered life I learned this over the last few years and separating this and actually being detached over the care stress and worry about what other people think of me freed me weight lifted it is one

of the most liberating things that you can do for yourself it important to understand that other people's opinions are exactly that theirs not yours theirs what someone else is saying about you is a reflection of their perspectives beliefs biases it's not a reflection of you and often times what happens is somebody else's insecurities are then projected onto us and we tend to hold them as our own and then we have insecurities that were given to us by other people the way I like to see it is that everybody has a lens that they see life

through this lens is crafted created designed as they go throughout their life right it has been shaped and defined on their experiences that only they have lived therefore their perspective their judgments their lens is always going to be biased at the end of the day people's opinions are their business and it is not your obligation to carry them when you worry about what other people think about you it's just draining your own energy and you risk then having your life be shaped over what somebody else may or may not be saying about you now the

one opinion that I care about is what God says about me and that's it and by saying not to care about what other people think of you it's not about being indifferent it's not about being rude it's about protecting your own peace and staying aligned with who you are and the values that you have no matter what you do in life everyone will have their own opinion just like you have your opinion on other people but you do not have to let it affect you once you have that Detachment Game Changer you will begin to

walk talk and move differently throughout your life okay don't give other people that power to shape who you are now what I do want to talk about next is called this or better approach now this mindset is all about understanding that if it's not this then something better is coming around the corner and it's not just about positive thinking it's a complete shift on how you see setbacks and disappointments and think about it how many times do you catch yourself spiraling when things don't go your way you didn't get the job you wanted and now

you're convinced that you will not find the career of your dreams that would be the old mindset the new mindset with this or better you're and say okay I didn't get this job it was not meant for me there's something better around the corner now I believe that God always has something greater in store so if it didn't go my way I know that his way is always going to be better and that's because his vision surpasses anything that I could even imagine so how can you put into practice this or better in the form

of learning Detachment well it's all about reframing your thoughts it not only helps you when things have happened and you say okay I didn't get that job but I'm going to get something better that person broke up with me but there's someone who's more compatible with me coming in the future you can use it after Something's Happened however you can also use it to help you detach from the emotions before something happens for example going into that job interview detaching yourself from the emotion of the stress and the worry of oh I don't know if

I'm going to get it I don't want to mess up if you detach yourself from the outcome you're able to say it's this or better and it takes the weight off of your shoulders knowing that you don't have to put pressure on yourself in the situation I'm going to use a real estate example because I've been in the real estate industry for seven years you're going to buy a house and you're about to put your offer in and you start feeling stress and worry because you really want that house if you reframe with the this

or better perspective you're able to detach yourself from the outcome and say okay if I don't get this house then it's something better there's going to be a nicer house that I'm going to get instead you submit the offer okay you don't get it your emotions are going to be completely fine because you already had the frame beforehand saying that if I didn't get this house there would be something better and it's a completely different way that you will handle all the things that you may typically have spiraled negatively and seeing it in a different

way it's this or it's better when it comes to Detachment one of the most important things you need to understand is that you are not your emotions you have to separate them I know you've been in a certain situation before where you've been consumed by the emotion whether it be sadness anger frustration happiness no matter what the emotion is it feels like we are the emotion you have to take that away you have to separate them if you don't dictate it your emotions will run your life so you know you're not your emotions but how

do you actually separate them and detach from them well the first thing is understanding you are not your emotions you are just experiencing them when you're feeling angry or sad or depressed you don't say I'm angry I'm depressed you you are not your emotions you have to remember there's power of life and death in the tongue be careful and cautious with the things that you are saying to yourself the words that you are speaking over yourself I made a big shift with this aspect of not saying that I am a certain thing when I notice

that when I take my dog for a walk 5:15 we're out the door and in the morning when I wake up I think I'm tired I'm exhausted and my my energy just starts to lower and I start walking a little bit slower and you know I'm kind of closed off and I just I feel my energy deplete just because the words I was saying okay it's early but I'm used to waking up that early I catch myself and then I flip the script I stand up tall start walking a little bit faster and then I

start to speak about how energized I feel I start speaking about how it's going to be a great day today how I'm blessed and highly favored I'm ready to go and be productive and have a great day and I start to move differently and then I'm don't feel tired anymore be careful with the words that you are speaking over yourself it is all typically a mind game you just need to learn how to play it now the goal isn't to not feel your emotions we have emotions we're human but it's just not allowing them to

control you detaching yourself from your emotions so you don't get constantly swayed and on the roller coaster of when things happen Okay let me know in the comments below how you plan to implement the lessons in this video with becoming detached I want to know what stood out to you if there's any other videos that you want me to make please let me know in the comments below I'd be happy to make them and if you're not already subscribed what are you doing subscribe join the family and your find more content like this on my

channel learn how to detach your future self will thank you for it if you enjoyed this video check out this one because you'll probably enjoy it too thank you for listening and I'll see you in the next one [Music]