If You're Feeling Lost...It's Actually GOOD!

hello my friends welcome to the being human podcast thank you so much for listening thank you for clicking on youtube spotify itunes wherever you listen or watch now listen the word lost may have resonated with you in this title we seem to be lost as a culture in a way where we don't really know which way to go what direction to move to what would be good for me would that be good for everybody is it selfish to do things for me should i always think of the collective what about what other people think what

if i make a decision now and 10 years from now i look back and it ended up being the wrong one should i go left right straight should i go backwards should i stay still i feel lost right now so that must be i'm a loser how can i possibly feel lost i have everything i need i have a house i have shelter i'm so ungrateful and look at everybody else who has their lives together and they have such direction and purpose i wish i had that i wish i had that any of those thoughts

have gone through your mind i think you're in the right place i know what it's like to be lost completely confused disoriented where you can't even lean on left and right you don't even know where they are you're in the dark there's nothing to hold you you're floating in limbo and you're paralyzed by feeling a little stuck you know what's funny everyone that as a personal coach to some and through this podcast and when i'm on stage i'm not one to offer you know direct and rigid solutions that that that can come from the person

i feel like it's my job and i really enjoy validating feelings and making people realize that things aren't the end of the world and where they are right now can actually be a launch pad and you can rest on that launchpad you can prepare on that launchpad you can get your spacesuit on on that launchpad you can call friends on that launchpad you can sleep on the launchpad you can stay there for as long as you want really it's not my job to tell you what to do but i think in this episode it's it's

i'm i'm gonna invite you to think about being lost in that feeling a little differently and i think you'll find comfort in it how does that sound good all right so yeah that was an intro now what do we talk about when we feel lost it doesn't mean that you're a loser that you're hopeless that that you're some kind of of nobody that you're a reject that you're yeah ungrateful or un unwilling to change when you feel lost and you are lost it means that you're going somewhere it means that you're moving and you have

been moving your life isn't stagnant in fact when you're lost it's the complete opposite how awesome is that to think about anyone who has done nothing with their lives and has no aspirations or ambition will rarely feel lost because this isn't really a creative person the creativity in us that's the lostness because we're looking for more we're searching and you my friend are a seeker because a big part about being human is the need to discover and to explore and to leave the shores of home for something new not necessarily better but for something new

to see what that's all about what this is all about to make sense of the world around us and see how it resonates inside so you are a seeker you are an explorer and every explorer when they leave ashore they get lost we all get lost and what do you do when you get lost what do you do if you're out hiking if you're out in a city you don't know which way to turn what do you do yeah what do you do now if you're my age or maybe a younger you don't have paper

maps anymore you don't i remember when i was going through europe and everywhere i go when i was in portugal when i was in mexico a few weeks back i take a compass with me and i love looking at my compass because i'm like okay the hostel is here the hotel's here okay i know that that's north and here that's pointing north and let's go i love that analog kind of feeling and when i backpack i got lost lost on purpose because it's fun to find your way around and when you're lost that's when you

get to figure out where you actually are you know what i'm saying so you can ground yourself in this lostness but let's go back what do you do when you're lost okay you're taking out your phone you're taking out a map you're seeing how where am i oriented here but when you take a google maps or apple maps whatever it's called you're never like completely zoomed in you want to take your index finger your thumb or whatever little dinky fingers you use and you want to pinch your phone we're such little wussies today with our

i had a bit about that where like there's no such thing as an alpha male today because we all take out our little little air pods and we put them in or you want to fight you want to fight okay one second click and put a little ear get your little phone out all these little devices little babies we are but you take out your phone you squeeze your little fingers together and yeah you get a bird's eye view of where you are where am i if you're lost in the woods what do you look

to your left trees look to your right trees ferns bushes flowers but if you hold on to some eagle talons and you let the eagle kind of pull you up and you get to look down and okay so this is where i am now what do i want to do okay i see i came from that way okay see i came southwest okay i did that turn there yeah that's what happened and then okay then oh okay past the pond and now i'm right here amongst the trees um i see where okay i see where

i went left instead of right that's okay okay so depending on where you are in this lost adventure whether you're at sea on land wherever you are it's important to try a few things maybe even before you zoom out because zooming out in a larger and bigger sense means like let's take a real big look at where you are in your life right now maybe that's too much right now you don't need to do that before you even look at your map maybe you find a bench you sit you wait remember in lord of the

rings in the minds of moria how gandalf forgot which tunnel to go down and he's like i have no memory of this place this place and then he talks with frodo he has a little smoke and then oh it's that way see using time as your ally is really good in these moments too orient yourself reorient yourself and really take a look at okay this is what i'm surrounded by these are the choices i can make but at the same time take your time is there a rush sometimes we just need to do what we're

just keep doing what we're doing and a solution presents itself without us even trying there's these there's the art of not trying there's sometimes where we put so much effort in like what are you going to do plant a seed and keep digging it up to see if it's grown right and we keep pushing it down into the soil we keep oh it's not growing yet it must okay we got to compact it more we got to flood it with water what the heck is taking so long you you plant the seed and you leave

it and you let nature do its thing so you're lost okay i'm lost i don't know exactly where i am right now let's chill let's be still let's be soft with ourselves sometimes the solution presents itself in front of us you don't need to do a whole list of life goals right now if being lost is pretty daunting you need to ground yourself first what am i going to do when i'm lost i'm in the dark i don't know left from right up from down what am i going to do write down life goals i

can't find the pencil i can't find the pen i'm in darkness here sit down wait for some daylight to pop in wait for some moonlight to show itself through the cracks so you can see where the left is you can see where the right is and then you can make a decision after all we got so caught up in wanting to move so fast all the time that it's no wonder we find ourselves lost sometimes but this is the opportunity to reorient this happens to everybody creative people more than most one thing we have to

realize and that i have to realize is that we're always embarking into the unknown and there's always going to be a decision where we don't have enough information we never do we know as much as we know and you take a bit of a leap and you see where it gets you and if it doesn't get you exactly where you want it which it rarely does then you tweak a little more and you tweak a little more and you tweak and you tweak what else is life other than moving and tweaking and stepping a little

bit in each direction to see where you can really find your path in your way my friends if you feel lost right now the last thing i'd invite you to do is beat yourself up notice that critic within you that says yeah you should be going somewhere why are you lost why don't you just do the thing why don't you be like everybody else find a purpose just find a job just do this just do this what's wrong with you i can't believe you made that decision back then that's why you're lost in the first

place you really messed up this time be aware of that voice you know there's that exploratory nature in you i'm sure because if you listen to this podcast and you followed me for a while you know that it's in me and those who deal with depression and anxiety such as myself from time to time that's part of us we're seekers we're big thinkers uh we go deep we go real deep we pay the price for it sometimes but we're sensitive to the world and we're sensitive to our environment which is why we get lost in

the first place because we're always moving we're always moving we're searching we're checking stuff out what are you going to be mad at yourself for trying the fruits of the trees maybe you got so caught up in the beauty in the moment and you're trying tree by tree and you're eating fruits and eating fruits and trying plants and then then you look around you're like oh shoot i followed the trail of berries for too long and now whoops i gotta find my way again it could be that you were just enjoying yourself so much that

now you're in a different place what do we do when we're in that place we don't know okay just remember grab the eagle talons and see where you are and if you if that's too soon wait till the moonlight and sunlight comes into where you are reorient yourself don't beat yourself up we all get lost and this is a feeling that that i have to get used to because i like embarking on new adventures and i like to try new things and my life and i'm sure yours it's not a straight trajectory nobody's is we

find ourselves in these moments all of the time because life is unpredictable we're throwing curveballs all the time and sometimes i ask for curveballs because i get bored of happiness and i get bored of routine so i like curveballs and i like the feeling of being lost part of me really enjoys it because what is it you really get to know who you are and where you are when you feel lost my friends this isn't a bad thing for you try to see it in a different light try to see it as you as the

adventurer and seeker you on the hero's journey that's just taking out his or her map just to see where you are for a little bit take rest take rest when you need there's no need to move right now set up camp make this your launch pad set up camp get a base get a base camp going set up a fire here set up the clothesline here you know when we're camping i was up north camping uh this weekend the mosquitoes were freaking terrible but nonetheless i was doing my cliff jumping and i loved the adrenaline

rush but then doing some paddle boarding and in order to set up your weekend you gotta set up camp a little bit because you know hey i'm here i might as well be here for a while like if you're on a trip you can live out your suitcase but what about at the airbnb hotel if you're there for a little while you may as well take things out of your suitcase and use the dressers and drawers you may as well makes it feel more like home so stay awhile i set up the tent we set

up the firewood's going here we set up the picnic bench going here the barbecues are here right set up a while stay a while be your own friend for now and really look at yourself with being okay with feeling like this and being here if we're here you may as well put your feet where the ground are or the ground is put your feet where the ground is really feel it wherever you are right now be there now what do you do what are you doing cooking you're in the kitchen doing dishes you're making a

grilled cheese naked you on the living room floor bedroom bathroom in the car walking on the sidewalk biking on the road where are you wherever you are be there and know that the feeling of lostness is just like ooh okay let's check out the map i like repeating myself in podcasts so i'll say everything again for the tenth time let it really sink in maybe that's the whole point i just i need to remind myself of these things that's why i make these episodes this is for me too not above you all in any way

i feel threatened by the lostness sometimes disoriented me i got vertigo i ah i'm just so dizzy i'm tired i don't know which way to go ah i wish i wish i wish i should have i could have i should have i could have what if what if what if what if mm-hmm yeah sit what's the rush to change is there a huge rush for you to make a decision at this very second at this very second if you don't make a huge choice is something really terrible going to happen probably not so take rest

in this feeling of lostness and know what it is it is the adventurer's feeling brought down from your ancestors and their ancestors and their ancestors who left shore on ships most likely if you're in the if you're in north america wherever you are really we moved as people and we move and we move and we move and we rest and then we move take rest during the stages of rest my friend let the lostness warm you let the darkness sometimes just be just that black velvet blanket that we've always wanted like george costanza who wants

to dress in velvet all day let it be your velvet gosh even be prideful about it for a minute that you're an adventurer and you're making your way and you deserve a little bit of rest now to end this podcast episode thank you for listening i'd like to invite you to click on something in the description it's a link to join zoom groups where you chat with me i'm in the zoom there's like five of us there's ten of us um join the newsletter so you get a notification in your inbox of when i'm doing

my next zoom call with you you know this is an impersonal way of communication and i hope you you got a little something from this but one thing when we're feeling lost and we're feeling like we don't know which way to go oh how how nice is it to chill with someone else in velvet you know to bounce ideas off of each other because a huge part is loneliness and that feeling that i'm lost and nobody else feels this way when we have these groups together and when i chat with people and oh you're feeling

that i know exactly what you mean yes yes yes and that in itself reduces stress and cortisol that reduces the feeling of loneliness and what is loneliness it's the feeling that what you do and share doesn't matter to anybody how would you like it if people really cared about what you shared and really felt what you shared and have been there and maybe are there and it's about meditating reflecting and connecting that's what these zoom groups are all about and i hope to have one with you in a live stream so i can meet you

and we can chat and um i'll be creating some more content in the near future but i'd like to thank you for listening and i hope this brought some comfort to your situation my friend it's a good thing it really is a good thing chill on your launch pad just chill for a bit you'll know when to make the next move take care this has been scott st marie on the being human podcast you know i can't even end this thing it's been a month since i did a podcast uh one extra thing you know

i don't think i've ever asked this on a podcast and i don't like asking anything from listeners and this is part of me being very uh what do you call it uh nice but i'm going to say it right now if you could it would mean a lot to me if you just click the star on spotify if you like this podcast give it a review on itunes that would mean a lot to me and it's not like there's thousands of reviews and thousands of uh stars so what you do really really makes a difference

in something like this you know what am i gonna do write a review on the joe rogan podcast who cares but with something small you can really make a difference in my life and the lives of others by you joining the newsletter on zoom there's only a few of us that makes a huge difference and i think that's pretty special because we're not lost among all the fishies that we can actually see each other and really hear each other so if you want to do that i'd really really appreciate it sincerely and and thank you

for for making it this far in the podcast you're not lost forever but while you're feeling lost know that it's a good thing and chill for a bit you got this my friend has been scott st marie take care see you soon