Over the course of our lives, we all learn some lessons that we wish we had learned sooner. These lessons often come from a combination of experience, reflection, and the advice others give us. They shape who we are, guide our decisions, and provide a framework for living a more fulfilling and meaningful life.
That’s why the sooner we learn or at least become aware of them, the better it is for us, as they can help us avoid common pitfalls and make more informed choices. I’m going to share some of the lessons I’ve learned with you today, in no particular order. But they’re not just lessons, rather they’re more like rules I live by, because as long as I stick to them, I’m able to enjoy my life to the fullest.
Now, without further ado, we have number one: Health is everything. Yet, most of us take it for granted. This is especially prevalent among younger adults in their early 20s, who often forget that actions have consequences.
When we’re going about our day-to-day lives and everything is fine, we don’t appreciate how healthy we are. Why would we? It’s only when something bad happens that we realize just how lucky we really were.
I’m no different in this regard. Usually, once a year, I’ll catch the common cold and be out of commission for a few days. It’s always an unpleasant experience, but it’s also a stark reminder not to take health for granted.
There’s an old adage: health is wealth. However, people often neglect their health in pursuit of money. Which I don’t think is a good trade-off.
Consider this: would you trade your life with someone who’s worth 100 million dollars, but they’re so ill that they can’t even leave their bed? I know I wouldn’t. Most people would be willing to spend all of that money just to be healthy again.
Because health is actually what allows us to enjoy life to the fullest. Without it, we become limited. And unfortunately, we often come to this conclusion too late, or only realize it when something bad happens to us.
That’s why I believe it’s important to make decisions that protect and enhance your health. Get enough sunlight. Ensure you get enough sleep.
Exercise regularly. Stop taking unnecessary risks that could lead to permanent injury. Avoid junk food.
Avoid soda and alcohol. Don’t smoke or vape. Learn to manage stress.
These are just a few of the steps you can take. Appreciate and prioritize your health, or suffer the consequences and regret. Number two: If you can control your environment, you can control your life.
When we think about self-control, we might think of someone with an iron will who can force himself to act against his instincts through sheer discipline. While this is one way to think about self-control, I’ve learned that discipline is often overrated. Constantly powering through distractions and resisting temptations requires a lot of energy and brainpower.
Instead, setting up your environment in a way that makes self-control easy or even unnecessary is a much better approach. For example, I haven’t eaten any sugary foods in months. But it’s not because I dislike sugar or have exceptional discipline.
Quite the opposite. If you put an ice cream in front of me, I’ll eat all of it in seconds. My self-control is that weak.
However, I’ve optimized my environment in such a way that I don’t have to resist ice cream at all. Occasionally I’ll get a craving for it, especially during summer. But if I don’t have any at home when the craving hits, it becomes a chore to get some, since I’d have to go all the way to the store.
And by the time I get there, either my rational brain takes over, or the craving subsides on its own. Essentially, by making it difficult to get my hands on ice cream, I barely have to use any brainpower resisting it. Now when it comes to any positive behavior I want to practice more often, I make it as convenient as possible.
Whether it’s reading, exercising, working, or eating healthily, I ensure these activities are easy to engage in by making them readily available. If I wanted to incorporate a new habit, let’s say drinking more water, I’d just make it incredibly convenient for myself to do so. I’d always have a water bottle within arm’s reach or somewhere visible as a reminder.
I’d practically be tripping over it, but that easy access would ensure that staying hydrated remained effortless. And yes, this approach of optimizing your environment works exceptionally well. Because by creating obstacles for things you shouldn’t do and making things you should do more convenient, you can manage your habits more effectively.
And if you can control your habits, you ultimately control the trajectory of your life. So try optimizing your environment if you haven’t already. You won’t be disappointed.
Number three: Stay true to yourself. One of the biggest epiphanies I had in my teenage years was that I could make almost anyone love or like me, simply by adapting to the social circle I was in. Essentially, if I acted how other people wanted me to act, and told them what they wanted to hear, I was able to fit in anywhere.
However one of the biggest epiphanies of my 20s was realizing that it’s better to just be yourself. Not because it makes you more likeable, it absolutely doesn’t. But because only by being yourself can you find people who like you for who you are, rather than for the character you're pretending to be.
By pretending you’re someone you’re not, you attract people who only like the persona you’re portraying, not the true you. You’re just going to end up feeling disconnected from those people. And is their approval really that important to you?
All the while, the people who would have fallen in love with the true you, they will pass you by, because that side of you is never presented. But we are social creatures, and we all struggle with finding balance between being true to ourselves and conforming to social expectations. In the 1950s, Solomon Asch conducted a series of experiments that vividly illustrated how powerful the need for social acceptance can be.
In his experiments, participants were asked to match the length of a line on one card with one of three lines on another card. While this task was very simple, it came with a twist. In each session, there was only one real participant.
The rest of the group were actors who were in on the experiment. For the first few rounds, everyone gave correct answers. But then in later rounds, the actors started to unanimously choose an obviously wrong line.
The real participant, unaware of the setup, faced a dilemma: Go with the obvious correct answer or conform to the group’s incorrect choice. Astonishingly, 72% of participants conformed to the incorrect group opinion at least once, even when the correct answer was clear. Participants often reported feeling self-doubt and a desire to fit in with the group, even when they knew the group's answer was wrong.
This experiment underscores the immense pressure to conform, even at the cost of one’s own judgment and authenticity. It highlights our inherent need for social acceptance, which can lead us to suppress our true selves in favor of fitting in with the group. However, by doing so, we only alienate ourselves further.
So next time you find yourself in a situation where everyone seems to agree on something, don’t be afraid to offer a different perspective, even if it feels challenging. It’s also completely fine to be wrong about something. Be authentic, stay true to yourself, as that’s the only way you’ll find the people that truly resonate with who you are.
Number four: Your mind needs rest as well. We often advise people to take a break after physical activity, reminding them of the necessity of rest and recovery for their bodies. Yet, how often do we extend this advice to those who have spent their day engaged in intense mental activity?
In today’s world, many jobs demand significant mental effort. Think of a programmer who spends the entire day writing code. To an outsider it might seem like he’s just chilling at his desk.
But his brain could be working a hundred miles per hour. And this type of cognitive effort can be just as draining as physical work, despite not being measured as easily. Now unfortunately, while physical exertion gets a free pass since it’s more tangible, mental exertion often does not.
We’re told to suck it up and push further instead. But just as our muscles need time to recuperate after a strenuous workout, our brains also need a break after prolonged periods of mental exertion. And our brains are actually constantly working, whether we notice it or not.
When we’re studying, reading, or just going about our day, we’re filtering and sorting all the information we’ve consumed throughout the day. And yet, the need to rest our minds is frequently overlooked and neglected. However, it has to be noted that not every break is created equal.
It’s a common misconception that activities like watching TV, scrolling through TikTok, or browsing Instagram provide a mental break. In reality, these activities only distract us while continuing to overload our brains with new information. This cycle of constant consumption is a common trap that prevents true mental relaxation.
What I suggest as a solution is a simple 30-minute walk, without any electronic devices. This type of break allows our thoughts to run free and can significantly recharge our mental batteries. Activities where you keep the body active, but can turn the brain off, like: walking, showering or doing mundane chores, free us from the constant influx of new information and actually let our brains relax properly.
Not only that, but you’ll also find that you tend to get your best ideas during these activities, as they allow you to finally stop overloading your brain and process all the information. A prevalent issue among insomniacs is the inability to quiet their ruminating minds at night. As they lie in bed, trying to fall asleep, they often find themselves mulling over the day's events and worrying about the future.
This mental overload happens because bedtime is often the only break their brain gets throughout the day. So if you want to maintain your mental health and productivity, it's essential to give your mind the rest it deserves, by not consuming more content. Give it a proper break, let it rest and run free.
Number five: Manage your energy, not your time. This is a slightly different approach to productivity that is often not considered. But basically what it hopes to achieve, is to align your tasks with your natural energy rhythms.
Throughout the day, our energy levels fluctuate, creating periods of high focus and times of fatigue. And through personal experience, I’ve discovered that scheduling my most important work around my peak energy time significantly enhances my ability to produce high quality work and with greater ease. All the while my less important tasks are best scheduled when I’m not as energetic, since I don’t have to be as focused to do them well.
And identifying my energy peaks and droughts has been one of the best ways I’ve managed to increase my overall productivity. This strategy has two main benefits. Firstly, it has allowed me to reduce my work hours dramatically.
Instead of working for six hours with moderate results, I can achieve 80% of the same workload in just two hours by working during my energy peak. Because my most demanding work receives my best attention, I simply don’t have to spend as much time on it, since I’m able to do complex tasks with greater clarity and efficiency. Traditional time management techniques, which focus on organizing hours and minutes, regardless of my own biology, simply cannot match the results.
And secondly this strategy encourages a healthier work-life balance. Since I spend less time working, it frees up more hours in the day for rest, relaxation, and personal pursuits. I’ve mentioned earlier how you should give your mind a break.
But unfortunately many people look at breaks as a waste of time or they feel guilty for taking them. However, they are absolutely required if you want to work at your peak. You can’t do your best work if you’re exhausted.
Breaks ensure that you’re recharged and ready to perform at your best during the next energy peak period. And since work gets done faster, there shouldn’t be any guilt for having some rest. Of course it's important to recognize that this approach may not be as easily applied to manual labor, which often requires consistent physical effort.
Nonetheless, it can still be useful to schedule physically demanding tasks during times of higher physical energy in order to maintain stamina and reduce the risk of injury. Still, this method encourages a more intentional approach to work, where the quality of effort you put in is prioritized over the amount of time spent working. And it leads to a more effective, satisfying and sustainable work experience.
Number six: Have a good day, have a great life. What does it mean to live a great life? Is it having a well-paying job or a lot of money?
Is it about fame and status, or maybe it’s traveling the world and learning about other cultures? Perhaps it’s having great relationships and a loving family? One could argue that all these things contribute to a fulfilling life.
However, when you break everything apart, what it eventually boils down to is having good days consistently. Because what life really is, is a string of days. And if you can make your average day good, you’ll live a great life.
This is a simple, yet for many, a very profound realization. Yes, we all experience bad days, and we all have amazing days as well. There are certain big events that bring us immense joy and pleasure, as well as those that cause significant dips in our mood.
Think of going on an amazing vacation or attending a fantastic party, compared to catching a cold or dealing with the drudgery of doing taxes. But these events are just that: events. They are merely anomalies that occasionally find their way into our everyday lives.
If you really think about it, most of our days are actually routine, and it’s those days that you should look to improve, rather than just focusing on the big events. However, if you look closely, many people have it backwards. Most go into jobs they absolutely hate, enduring misery for 50 weeks a year just to enjoy a lavish 2 week vacation.
To me, that doesn’t sound appealing at all. 50 weeks of misery for 2 weeks of enjoyment. The proportions are all off.
But I’m not one to judge, as for the longest time I was that person. Chasing success and money, not realizing it was causing me an immense amount of despair. It took me many years to change my perspective, but it was one of the best decisions I made.
My average day is now actually something I look forward to, instead of dread. Of course many people would consider my usual day boring, but I’ve structured it in such a way that I enjoy it, and that’s all that really matters. After all, it’s my day and my life, not anyone else’s.
And I encourage you to do the same. Make YOUR average day better. Whatever that means for you.
A great life is not built on the occasional grand events but on the consistent joy of everyday moments. And it’s only by finding contentment in the routine, the ordinary, and the mundane, that you’re able to lay the foundation for a truly great life. So those were the 6 lessons I wish I had learned sooner, and are now rules that I follow.
I’m sure that over time I’ll add some more to the list. Now I’m also interested in what some of yours are. Let me know what’s something you’ve learned that you wish you had known sooner, or what is something that you follow and has served you well over time.
Leave a comment down below. As always thanks for watching, and I’ll see you in the next one.
