a video to watch when you feel lonely

for the days you feel completely alone for the nights you wonder how long this is going to last for and for the inconsolable thought that you might just not be good enough this video is for you for those of you who are new here this video is part four in my video to watch when series which is a playlist on my channel and I already have so many videos on there for when you're feeling sad when you need motivation reassurance and this video just like them is filled with some reassuring facts that are meant to

sooe you when you're going through a difficult time or emotion when you need motivation I have my self-help podcast Below in the description it's called self-obsessed and it's available on all platforms along with the link to pre-order my new self-help book which teaches you how to master self-love you can pre-order it now via Amazon I also have all of my other links and the link to my second YouTube channel in the description and right before we get into it this video has kindly been brought to you by skillshare skillshare is the largest online learning community

for creatives with thousands of classes led by industry Pro across film design illustration freelance productivity and so much more if you guys are subscribed to my Vlog Channel then you'll see that I have been taking learning paths on skillshare for a while now I normally take these to help with my career and my productivity but I recently discovered the paths set out for hobbyists which I think is so useful there's a whole learning path dedicated on how you can Master self-care which I think is so important for everyone because there can be so much confusion

on how to do it even though we all know we're supposed to do it if you don't know what learning paths are they are handpick classes that are grouped together and meant to be taken in order as you go through each class they reinforce each lesson you just learned so it actually stays in your head they cater to a range of experien levels from beginner to advance and they cover so many topics from design and productivity to specific software and tools like procreate and blender I'm a big fan of the self-care Essentials learning path because

the classes within it touch on self-acceptance which is such an important part of self-care as well as mastering meditation if you are ready to start prioritizing your self-care or if you want to explore some other learning paths that can help you get ahead in your career or your business then you can start skillshare via the link in my description and the first 500 people to click on the link will get their first month of skillshare completely free and now let's get into the 15 facts that will provide you comfort in your times of loneliness fact

number one you're so busy looking around at everyone else thinking why not me why doesn't my life look like that why don't I have those friends that your loneliness is stuck in a negative State loneliness is Simply Having a negative perception on being being alone but being alone isn't a bad thing being alone isn't something you need to be sad about in fact it can bring you so much joy and fulfillment and contentment loneliness is simply created from having an external Focus an external locus of control because you believe other people are the answer but

that's not the case you can so easily convert your loneliness into Solitude by finally looking at yourself and by shifting your perception to one that celebrates all of those moments of being alone two lonely is all in your belief that no one cares for you and no one's going to be there for you and no one likes you and this is an example of a scarcity mindset because it does not matter how many times you've been hurt or burned in the past this is not the case for your present moment a lot of the time

we make the mistake of using our past to Define our present and it takes away all of the joy and all of the Gratitude and happiness and love that a lot of the time is right in front of us away from us because we're only ever living in the past we're so consumed by the way that we've been that we're taking situations that have already happened and that literally don't exist anymore and living our life in accordance to them therefore just causing a deeper pit of sadness for ourselves which is actually so far from the

truth and this leads me on to three loneliness is simply the result of an absence of yourself because listen let's say technically you don't have anyone no one's there for you no one's shown up for you in the way that you wished they would but you're there for you you're always going to have you you the only person that's been by your own side every single second of your life you the only person on this planet that knows yourself the most no one will ever understand you like you do so this feeling of loneliness is

trying to teach you something it's trying to teach you that you're number one it's your body telling you hey look at me pay attention to me because this is a chance for you to be able to show up for yourself and it has the power to change the trajectory of your life I experienced so much loneliness throughout all of my teen years and as soon soon as I started realizing this and having this mindset shift that hey what if I give myself everything that I'm seeking from others my relationship with myself transformed I had never

seen it that way that I could give myself everything and that I am my number one best friend and that I am the love of my own life and anything I seek from others I can already give it to myself and I also want you to understand that loneliness isn't a curse you were given this feeling you were given this life and these circumstances because you are strong enough to live it four guess what you're not surrounded by bad energy you're not surrounded by misaligned friends you're not chasing people for the sake of having company

wow actually wow listen it is much better in fact it is a win to spend time alone rather than surrounding yourself with people who can't match your light or who can't deserve your energy you are finally in a place where you will accept loneliness because you finally care more about your well-being than what other people think about you round of applause honestly five there is a future version of you that is right now just wishing they could tell you how good it gets just wishing you could see right now in all of your pain and

your hurt how you get everything every dream that has ever crossed your mind they are remembering you in your moments of sadness and aloneness and thinking just wait till you feel so loved and so connected and so understood but they don't pity they actually look back at your time alone and they believe it was necessary because they now know and understand that it was inevitable that they were always going to get the circle the life the circumstances that they dreamed of but that waiting time was so necessary so that they could finally come home to

themselves so that they were ready for those circumstances and for those dreams I want you to remember that the things that you seek out so bad the things that you want and need so bad you want them you desire them because you already have them in the future and if you don't believe me how many times in the past do you look back when you were sad or when you thought life was going to end or when you thought your life was over and it was never going to get better and you look back now

and you think life isn't perfect but I've made so much progress and so if you've done that now won't that just happen tenfold as you keep growing as you keep evolving as you keep getting older believe in yourself all of your thoughts and desires that through your mind they don't happen on accident they're happening for a reason they are encouraging you to get onto the path that you're meant to go down so that you can actually go and pursue all of those things they are not happening to then make you hopeless and think I'm never

going to get the friends I'm never going to get the job I'm never going to get the dream life similarly fact six the people you seek out are seeking you out too just because it's taking time doesn't mean it's not happening your present doesn't determine your future so while you may feel like you've struggled in finding your people does doesn't mean they're not going to come and while you feel like you might be the only person on this planet feeling this way I promise you that there are people out there that also feel lonely right

now that are also praying that they meet a friend or a person in their life who has the exact same traits that you do they are praying for a person exactly like you you in their life the people you want want you to seven you can't stop waiting to stop feeling lonely because the only person that can control that feeling of loneliness is yourself how can you be lonely when you're always with yourself how can you be bored when you can date yourself how can you feel unlovable when you are the one that controls all

of your thoughts and beliefs and perceptions you get to control how you look at the world and how you look at yourself it was never about other people it was never about them doesn't matter what they've said it doesn't matter how they've treated you because what everybody does is always a projection of themselves but when you make the conscious decision to finally look at the most authentic version of you and think I actually love myself and I love every single part of myself and I love what I bring to the table and I love my

personality and I love the way I make mistakes and I love the way I learn from them and I love the way that I make other people laugh and I love my sense of humor and I love my kindness and my compassion and my understanding for others what is that to feel bad about why would you ever feel like you're not good enough when you are fully consciously aware of everything that makes you so amazing then being lonely only is simply just a waiting point it doesn't Define you it doesn't determine your character because you

are fully aware that people would be lucky to have you in their lives and you were just in a place in your life where you haven't found the people that align with you yet just like with every other area of your life you're waiting just because you don't have the dream job right now doesn't mean you're not going to get it it's a journey to get there just because you haven't found your soulmate yet doesn't mean you're never going to get them it's a journey to find them and the same goes for friendship and the

same goes for finding your ccle to cut out the feeling of loneliness eight maybe you're meant to be lonely because being lonely is where all of the magical self-discovery happens because a lot of people believe they're lonely because when they have friends or when they're surrounded by others or they have the lifestyle that they think they want because they see other people living it that it will make them happy but how is it going to make you happy because you're telling me that the second those people aren't near you the second you have to move

to a new city alone the second that you go a few weeks without talking to them all of your happiness gets snatched away with that your happiness becomes dependent on the actions of other people why would you ever want to put yourself through that torment and suffering that's why you have been given the gift of loneliness right now to build a foundation of happiness and gratitude all by yourself so that when you feel that Joy when you're with other people and they leave for whatever reason the happiness stays with you it doesn't affect you as

a person it doesn't ruin your life because if you've watched my videos then you know other people leaving are so important it's it's something to be celebrated in fact to outgrow someone means that you are evolving as a person and you are following your true life path to leave a toxic friendship means that you finally know your worth and you're confident in yourself to know that you are worthy and deserving and capable of getting better friends and so the reason that you are lonely is so that you can finally take the time to learn about

yourself because you can't love yourself unless you know yourself and when all of your time is spent alone with your own thoughts when you spend your weekends alone at home that's nothing to be ashamed of that's the time where you figure out your interests when you figure out what your values are when you start building up your set of Standards most people on this planet have never been able to give themselves that level of attention and why would they as human beings we are always chasing the next best thing the next person the next job

the lifestyle we want the holiday we want to go on to material things a lot of people don't take the time to actually sit with themselves for even a full day and you are given this phase now so that you can protect yourself and build up the necessary foundations of self-love so that you go after a life that is fully and truly meant for you because you took the time to learn about yourself rather than going after what you think you want or allowing other people to determine what you want so you just follow their

lead this links into number nine in the moments of Silence where there is so much Stillness and there are no distractions and it feels a bit too quiet and lonely that's where the most growth is going to happen for you you are making so much more progress in your life just by being alone and sitting with that feeling because now you can fully recognize what you feel and why you feel it and where it's coming from you were building up so much self-awareness and when I was at my loneliest I constantly used to think about

the kind of relationships that I wanted and the friendships and the experiences I wanted to have and guess what now I have it because I paid so much attention to crafting and visualizing the exact idea of the goal I was suing not something that I needed it was something I wanted because I was perfectly fine on my own but I knew exactly what I wanted that I finally exited the phase of my life where I was accepting company for the sake of having friends that when somebody came up to me and they liked me I

kind of just let them adopt me because at least somebody liked me and that was good enough no the loneliness allowed me to figure out exactly who I want to be in my life and that way when I was out and about and I was talking to people and meeting people if somebody liked me that wasn't a green flag that wasn't something to be considered I had so many more standards and things I was aware of that I wanted and I wasn't about to just accept anybody into my life because I know that I am

fully deserving of being able to meet all of those standards in my friendships when I jumped from friend to friend or relationship to relationship I was constantly stuck in this low vibrational State and that's because majority of that action was coming from a place of fear because I thought well what if I don't have anybody but when you're lonely and and you feel as though you're already in that place you have nothing to lose you only can go up from here you can only grow you can only learn more about yourself you can only set

your standards even higher right now you are doing the biggest favor to your future self by not immediately racing to what you think you want and instead waiting it out and allowing it to come to you and waiting for the right time and until you meet the right people not chasing people for the sake of it not placing yourself in environments that you know don't fulfill you and that you know that you don't like you are living and experiencing every single moment just as it comes and most people don't even allow themselves that privilege the

privilege is that life is a constant journey of learning as you go along and that's in every situation good or bad you stay present in completing fully each phase of your life rather than rushing to escape it to run from yourself to run from the difficult emotions and in staying in that presence that the loneliness is giving you you learn more about what you need personally that you need to create a life that's best suited to your needs rather than simply being distracted by dopamine spikes and running away from difficult emotions which only get you

into the most misaligned situations of all 10 you clicked on this video you clicked on this video meaning you are self-aware enough to recognize what isn't working in your life you are self-aware enough to know I don't really like my current circumstances I'm not feeling great about myself I need some comfort I need some reassurance so you read and you listen to podcasts and you click on article and videos that you think might make you feel better you constantly self-educate because you are so determined to take control of the way you live and the way

you feel and think and the biggest change and growth that happens in your life is when you finally recognize what's not working and then you try something new because of it you don't throw yourself a pity party you don't think that you're the unluckiest person in the world you take action by learning information to reassure yourself like watching this video or you step outside of your comfort zone to talk to new people and make a new type of friend you decide that you're going to start journaling to a closer relationship with yourself you never would

have gotten here without that level of critical thinking so give yourself a part on the back because you're not victimizing yourself you're taking actions to improve your life and that is a very very rare skill fact 11 loneliness is not deserved loneliness is a gift people are taken away from us for a reason we are given a period months a year of Lon for a reason that will benefit us we don't align with people for our own best interest I thank the universe for all of the people that were taken away from me I thank

the universe that the people I thought were my friends I was then distanced from and I spent a year of my life two years of my life feeling so alone and while I was watching everybody else party and while I was watching everybody in their big friendship groups I look back now and I'm so grateful because now I realize I was isolated for a bigger purpose and it's as easy as that it's so easy for me to look back and realize that now but you need to give yourself that reassurance that those people aren't meant

to be in your life and they were removed for a reason so that you could get on the life path that you were meant to have because I sure as hell would not be living the amazing life I am now with the amazing friends I have with the amazing career the self-awareness the self- Lov the confidence if those people were still in my life in fact I'm preparing myself for my next period of loneliness whenever that may be because I know it will be necessary and I know it will benefit my growth and I know

it will mean that my life is upleveling and improving and getting to where it needs to be you need to develop so much trust in your journey because everything is always happening for you not against you 12 loneliness is not a destination it's simply a transition I think a lot of the times we really upset ourselves by thinking that's it I'm not worthy of the friends I'm never going to find them why does my life look like this your life isn't going to look like that forever this is only a phase and it's such an

important phase and I say it's a transition because it is transitioning your life from you being so comfortable with the old to you transitioning into accepting all of the new abundance that is about to come into your life because just like I say with manifestation the only way that you can finally manifest the things you've always wanted and attract all of this new into your life is finally by letting go of the old you cannot have both you cannot attract New Opportunities and more aligned Friends by Clinging On To What doesn't serve you anymore and

so you will find yourself in a period of aloneness as all of the things that no longer serve Ser you or were never meant to serve you past a certain timeline will start to crumble away they're crumbling away to prepare you for the blessings that you only could have wished for in a way you have to start from the beginning again to create a new and improved life for yourself 13 for the people that are in their 20s stressing about not having any friends not liking their life not having gotten far enough yet you are

just starting your life right now because think about it the first 10 years of your life you were ual child the second 10 years of your life you in school you're going through puberty you still weren't even a fully functioning human being yet you were learning about yourself and your body you were still developing in the first few years of your 20s when in the leadup to your 20s even you were figuring out your career you were probably still in education you were probably having work experience you were only just starting to step into the

real world you were probably just having your first experience with making money in your early 20s and so now you're 25 and you have officially just started your life your frontal lobe of your brain has just developed at this age you are finally a fully grown adult who has had experience in friendship in education in work with money in having your own freedom and being able to go out into the world alone so why are you criticizing yourself and not having it all figured out when up until this point you were just growing you have

had such minimal life experience up until this age now is when you start because now is when you finally have all of the tools to be able to start you look at your life and think that you're having a quarter life crisis but you haven't even lived a quarter of your life because majority of it you were a literal child there is nothing you could have done so why do you expect to have it all figured out please why do you expect that you should have found your lifelong friends when your life is literally just

about to start now is the time that you're about to make progress and that you're about to grow and know who is actually meant for you 14 just because your life isn't perfect doesn't mean you're failing I want you to recognize how far you've come I want you to remember that you're living in at least one answered prayer right now this moment you might not have it all but at one point you prayed for the things you have now whether it's being in the school that you're in having the grades you have being imployed having

grown your confidence how much easier would your life get if you finally took a break from wondering what you could be doing better to taking a step back and appreciate how well you've been doing and finally 15 all that matters in this life is how you see yourself it doesn't matter how boring your weekends are how big your circle is how many people turned up to your birthday party how do you see yourself how do you feel when you go to bed every single night knowing that you did your best at getting through yet another

day how do you pick yourself up when you feel down how do you look at your future in full confidence knowing you are about to get everything you want all of the things that you so desperately seek within other people already exist within you babe it's just time you finally let yourself receive it and that brings us to the end of this video if you want more actionable advice on how you can convert your loneliness into Solitude then I have an entire guide on my channel on how to get over loneliness lifestyle shifts you can

do this video is more just a comforting and reassuring watch but if you're ready to take control of your life and your circumstances and I highly recommend you go watch it thank you guys for watching I hope this gave you some joy and some comfort if did comment down below let me know which number fact was your favorite I would love to know and I'd love to respond to you guys too remember to check out the description for all of my Social Links my book pre-order link and my podcast and I will see you guys

same time next week on Friday for a brand new video I love and appreciate you you got this and you are much stronger than you think [Music] bye a