the key to your value you've given it too long to people who doesn't belong to the only person your value truly belongs to you or the Merit of it is yourself and if you have nothing to marry yourself on with your own proximity and in your own reality you will fall for false idols so if you don't have a moral compass that's your own or you don't have virtues that are your own or you don't have boundaries or ideas of what your life and the paradigms of your life is about as in what you stand
for what is right and wrong in your mind or not even so deeply as what is right or wrong but just as basic as what you want your life to look like what you want your reality to be what you want your manifestation of your reality to be you will find Worship in something else we have gone through centuries of time finding things to worship different gods money ideas and the reason that you care so much why he didn't text you back or that he's watching pornography instead of choosing you is because you are giving
the Merit to his perception of you as opposed to giving the Merit to yourself and wondering if you even like him or her do you even like that person because we're always dancing from the frame of do they like me what does that behavior mean they didn't call me back they're watching these naked people online as opposed to wanting to do it with me at a deficit I mean not once in a blue moon but I mean choosing that over me choosing their friends over me not wanting to invite me and you just become deeper
and deeper in a hole of self-loathing because you are looking at the reality of who you are through the lens of the value that that person gives you but the true value is number one your own Viewpoint and what you value in life and number two to understand that there is no thing that you can do or be in order to win someone's love there isn't think about it yourself you've loved people just through the virtue of being themselves you don't love them for a thing they did they didn't suddenly act cool or looked good
or carried them in a certain way and it overrode everything you think we love because we love and it's a choice we make and love is a choice so if they haven't made it and they haven't given you value in their life that's fine and the only thing you can do is detach Detachment from the value someone else gives you is the only true freedom because if in the instance that he's not returning your calls or he's choosing virtual women over you which is a pain point for a lot of people in this world at
the moment for a lot of women in this world at the moment you've got to understand and stop looking at it from a view of does he value me does he see Beauty in me does he want a future with me he's not proposing to me we've been together for a long time and that's what I want and reframe it into a new lens of okay this is the life that this person has chosen for themselves and how does it suit me are they the type of partner I want do I want to be with
this person not what does their behavior say about me because they're the master of their own reality their behavior says nothing more about you than a person you don't know says about you that's their own reality if you have chosen to be with somebody who doesn't return your calls doesn't want to marry you when it's important to you chooses virtual women over a real relationship then my love it says more about your relationship with yourself and your lack of boundaries and virtues and ideas of who you are and who you want to be than it
does about him because he's got his right to create the life he wants and funnily enough he's creating the life he wants if he goes out drinking with his friends and partying and you're constantly asking him to stay home and he's not doing that that's because he doesn't want to he's enjoying the life he's actively cultivated but you as the one who's attached to someone who's not attached to you you as the codependent are the one who's creating your value out of their reaction to you when in reality you should look at that person from
a detached sense and say wow I've got one lifetime to live on this planet what is the the ideal scenario what is the manifestation of My reality because everything I'm looking at now was once a fragment in my mind and something that I decided to do in fact everything you're seeing on the screen somebody imagined first this TV someone imagined and they made happen this sofa this wall everything here was a manifestation in someone's mind so don't forget the fact that this thing that you're having with this person is a manifestation in your mind of
how you ought to be treated and it's only on you my love to take yourself by the Scruff of the neck pull up your socks and take yourself out of that relationship and you constantly want to change him don't you you want to tell him to come home on time you want to tell him to stop watching the virtual women and be with you he doesn't want to you want to tell him how to behave and re-parent him but he's already got a mother he's been parented so you want to re-parent him you've got a
basically a foster son instead of parenting the person who actually needs the parenting and that is you you need to re-parent yourself you need to soothe yourself and you need to give yourself the love that you didn't get or the the Gap that is missing and work on yourself and look at him with a detached sense of his behavior is not a value proposition to me his behavior is just his behavior and now it's up to me being the Simon Cowell of my own life to judge whether he gets to be on my American Idol
and if he's there not returning my calls partying with his friends and not interested in me then there's no hard feelings but he just doesn't get to exist in my reality because he doesn't match the value that I've given to myself now if you're a man watching this reverse it when I say he imagine she reverse it so now the reality doesn't match and when the reality doesn't match the brain does a wonderful thing it either tries to match the reality or it matches yourself thoughts about it so you've got to do one of two
things if you think you're a valuable person and you want to love yourself and you want to have a good life good in whatever capacity that is and this person's with you not treating you correctly you can do one of two things you can remove yourself from that situation so your value matches your actions I'm valuable they don't value me so now I'm going to take my valuable self away my valuable spicy sexy self away or if you stay your brain will do a wonderful wonderful service to you because it wants your reality to match
because it doesn't want to make you feel crazy in this world it's doing a really good service to you it's gonna take your value down for you so that your reality matches this person doesn't value me I'm not valuable everything matches you need to remove the person who doesn't match your reality and not try and change them and don't let it break you because Detachment is the key to knowing that what they have chosen for themselves their lifestyle their lack of connection their virtual realities people they're talking online the women that they're following is their
choice and no reflection on you the only reflection that's going to happen is if you choose to stay with that if you choose to stay with that person and if you do choose to stay then accept it with an open heart accept them for who you are and who they are with an open heart without delusion without coercion without control accept them because at the end of the day it's your choice to be with them come from a position of power when you make choices as opposed to a position of victimhood and stop talking of
it like it's a non-choice so if you're with this man who's disrespectful and you know mildly disrespectful I don't mean insane things but I mean you know doesn't return your calls it doesn't particularly like you follows other women you know flirts with them accept it with your Chester accept it that this is the type of man you want to be with you know in those old 1950s cartoons where they're like oh that's my Jerry he's crazy my Jerry accept it like that put yourself behind your choices because if you don't and you act the victim
and you let their perception of you dictate how you see yourself that is where it deprecates who you are and you begin to start to match your that reality your brain will help it match and then everything suffers your work suffers your self-perception suffers your self-concept suffers you start looking worse you don't take care of yourself because they don't value me so why should I value myself but my number one advice would be to detach and to not be in the role of the auditioning but to be raw in the role of the judge that's
their life choices that's how they choose to conduct themselves it's of no reflection on me and I don't want to be with that do you want to be with that is the question guys thanks for watching I appreciate all of you subscribe I hope this gave you some food for thought if you like this type of content watch my videos on self-concept attachment detachment it could help you and if not then we could just spend some time together see you on the next one love you lots [Music]
