It's Weekend Update with Colin Jost and Michael Che. Good evening everyone. Welcome to Weekend Update.
I'm Michael che. Home Colin Jost. I was worried I was being set up again.
Okay. President Trump met with Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky yesterday. Let's see how it went.
You're gambling with the lives of millions of people. You're gambling with World War three. You're gambling with World War three.
Pretty good. And now, thanks to that meeting, now you actually can gamble on World War three on FanDuel. Trump repeatedly scolded Zelensky, telling him you have real problems.
Yeah. Man. .
He's in a war. No one's asking to borrow missiles so they can take the party to the next level. Zelensky was asked to leave the white House.
Then he appeared on Fox News and said he thinks he can still salvage his relationship with President Trump, which is Like But Justin Baldoni saying I'd love to work with Blake again. President Trump posted an AI generated video featuring a transformed Gaza with a Trump Hotel, bearded belly dancers and Benjamin Netanyahu lounging on a beach. The video was titled ISIS recruitment, and Attorney General Pam Bondi sent a letter to FBI Director Kash Patel, saying that she learned from a source that the New York FBI office had thousands of Epstein files that it still hasn't released.
Kash Patel is currently looking for those files in two different directions. Elon Musk seen here letting ketamine take the wheel. Sent an email to federal employees telling them to list five things they did last week or they would be fired, which was easier for Elon to do because all five of his were got a lady pregnant.
It was reported that internal television monitors at the offices of Housing and Urban Development showed an AI generated video of President Trump kissing the toes of Elon Musk. You can tell the video is AI because in it, Trump is able to bend. Ron DeSantis is pushing for his wife, Casey, to succeed him as governor of Florida.
But I don't know. Those are some pretty gay boots to fill. Dozens of dead birds believed to have died from avian flu have washed up on a Long Island beach.
But don't worry, RFK is almost done eating them. Former New York Governor Andrew Cuomo has decided to run for mayor of New York City. Cuomo plans to use his old campaign slogan of honk, honk, honk.
The Oscar campaign for Best Picture nominee Amelia Perez was badly damaged after problematic old tweets about George Floyd surfaced from transgender star Karla Sofia Gascon. And I think we can all agree What. Last week.
Last week, a US appeals court blocked a Biden era student debt relief plan, which means the only way for young people to pay off their student loans is by dating Bill Belichick. This week, MSNBC fired its only nonwhite prime time host, and Lester Holt announced he is stepping down as the anchor of NBC Nightly News. Well, NBC, only one more to go, baby.
Wait, are you guys rooting for me to. Leave? Yeah!
They're cheering. Woo!
