if you have nice guy syndrome you'll get taken advantage of ignored disrespected and manipulated and the worst part is most people don't even know they have it so in this video we're going to go over how to figure out if you have it the root cause and how to fix it and the good news is everything in this video is action based and if you actually do it it will work and you'll be disrespected less you'll be less manipulated you will not get taken advantage of it if you do the things I'm about to say
it will work first how do you know if you have nice guys this is Johnny and this is Cheryl Johnny is on a date with Cheryl now Johnny has a rule that he does not kiss on the first date under any circumstances but Cheryl is super hot she's also very into him and really wants him to kiss her Johnny's head fell off now Johnny's head fell off because Johnny's in a predicament he can either kiss the super HW girl who really wants him to kiss her and break his word or he can uphold his word
and not kiss her now Johnny being the nice guy that he is kisses Cheryl now this is nice guy syndrome because earlier on the day Johnny established that he does not kiss on the first date but he broke his word and he put Cheryl in what Cheryl thought she wanted over his values now when Johnny kissed Cheryl on his date he showed her a few things he showed her that one he doesn't always keep his word he said he wouldn't kiss her and he did two he put Cheryl above his values he said he would
take it slow and not kiss her and that was his values but he didn't enforce the boundaries when it kissed her it showed her that she could manipulate him and when she knows that she could manipulate him she knows other people can manipulate him and personally if I were a woman I would not want a boyfriend who could be easily manipulated by another attractive woman hopefully she doesn't go on another date with Johnny because otherwise he might never learn so those are symptoms one and two you putting other people in what they want over your
values and not enforcing your boundaries if you do these there's a good chance you have nice guy syndrome but keep watching because we can definitely fix that now we're back with Johnny Johnny's a busy guy he's got two jobs and he takes care of a relative right he goes to school he has no extra time and even if he does have free time it's his right he can do what he wants with it now Mark Johnny's quote friend needs help with his addition on his house totally valid right he asks Johnny for help this seems
like an obvious no because Johnny is extremely busy but Johnny being the nice guy that he is puts Mark's needs above his own and agrees to helping him with his house even though he has no time which brings us to symptoms numbers three and four we have putting others and their needs above yourself and your needs and the complete inability to say no again if it sounds like you you might have nce SK syndrome and that's okay because we can fix it now the last two symptoms Mark has a very contrarian belief that we should
get rid of medicine and go back to Natural Selection he thinks the population is getting weaker and overall as a species humans are becoming more susceptible because of modern medicine now Johnny doesn't really agree with it but he doesn't say anything because he doesn't want to risk upsetting Mark he knows Mark agrees with this strongly and Johnny doesn't want to say that he disagrees so he just goes quiet he agrees with Mark to avoid any conflict or disagreement this just makes Mark walk all over him with his beliefs with his lifestyle with everything that brings
us to our fifth and sixth final symptoms we have avoidance of conflict as a fifth Johnny doesn't want to tell Mark he disagrees because he doesn't want Mart get mad and second we have doesn't stand up for yourself if any of these sound like you you have sound a very of nice guys any that's fine because I had all of these we can fix it but we can't do that without getting to the root cause and believe it or not these all have the same root cause the root cause of all of these is wanting
people to like you a lot God my handwriting is [ __ ] terrible now for this let's go back to Johnny when Johnny kissed Cheryl not only did he tell her he was easy to manipulate didn't hold on to his words and put people above his values he showed himself too when he said yes to helping Mark with his house even though he absolutely could not he did not have time he showed himself that he couldn't say no and then he put other people above himself and finally every time Johnny stays quiet and just lets
Mark walk all over him with his ridiculous beliefs Johnny keeps showing himself that that's what he does he keeps proving it to himself that he is a pushover he doesn't stand up for what he believes in he doesn't stand up for his word he's easy to manipulate and all around he disrespects himself constantly and he lets other people do too after all that with Johnny being a rational person it would really make sense if he didn't like himself right Johnny needs people to like him because he doesn't like himself he doesn't like himself because he
constantly disrespects himself because he needs people to like him and he thinks that's the way which causes him to not like himself and so on it seems like a circle but actually it's a spiral let me explain usually you don't just find yourself in this cycle it kind of starts little by little maybe you have a little bit of self- disrespect and then you'll like yourself a tiny bit less because you just disrespected yourself and then maybe you want some other people to like you a little bit more because you don't like yourself you'll disrespect
yourself a little more to get more people to like you or people to like you more and then you'll like yourself less because you disrespect yourself more and so on now most people try to get Johnny out of this vicious cycle by telling him he needs to see the value in himself and he needs to have higher self-esteem and respect himself more and have more confidence but even if Johnny did manage to convince himself of that which he won't be able to because he has so much proof that that's not him it's just not true
cuz he keeps doing these things he keeps disrespecting himself he keeps keeps showing that he's not valuing himself so he' just be lying to himself if Johnny actually wants to break this vicious cycle this is what he should do when he's on the date with Cheryl and he says he's not going to kiss her on the first date he should actually not kiss her on the first date not because kissing on the first date is bad but because he said he wouldn't and then this does the opposite of this this shows him that he's respecting
himself and respecting his own boundaries that does the opposite of this it shows him that he is respecting himself he is putting his boundaries over other people he is putting his values over what he what other people want which is a little bit of proof and momentum he needs to start breaking the Cy when Mark has Johnny to help him with his house Johnny should say no because he actually doesn't have time and again even if he does it's Johnny's time to do what he wants with it's his free time and in doing so it'll
show Johnny that he is willing to say no he can actually say no and he puts his own needs above other people's first and finally when Mark spews his insane views and treats Johnny like [ __ ] Johnny should stand up for himself and say what he believes to be true even if it pisses mark off because either Mark will be open to talking about it and then it'll be fine or he won't and why would you want that person as a friend I would not now if Mark keeps doing this stuff he keeps treating
Johnny like [ __ ] Johnny might not have been able to leave earlier he didn't really like being alone because he was a piece of [ __ ] and he didn't like himself but now Johnny has so much proof that he respects himself he has a spine he holds to his word he puts other people below his own needs and his own values Johnny will be way more likely to be okay leaving mark because he doesn't need it because being alone now is fine because Johnny actually left himself he's shown himself that he does value
himself he's fine being alone the way to break this cycle is to just force yourself to do the things knowing fully well they will be uncomfortable and it will suck but you have to prove to yourself that you're not this person anymore and you do so in small ways one at a time and it builds because momentum in this situation went down but we can flip it make it go up you can respect yourself and you will like yourself a little more then you won't need as many people to like you so you can respect
yourself more and keep saying no to them so you can say yes to you so finally you have nice guy syndrome people pleaser syndrome whatever you want to call it if you are stuck in a cycle that looks like this just remember you have to show yourself that you're willing to say no to other people and you're willing to endure a little bit or a lot of pain because in doing so you will prove to yourself that you respect yourself and the way you change your mind is not by trying to make yourself change your
mind it's with evidence I'll see you in the next one thank you for watching the video subscribe I love you peace
