DESAPEGO | a arte de ser livre e não dar satisfações | ep.03

Welcome to the third episode of this webseries about personal development here on my new YouTube channel, on my brand new project On Episode 1 we talked about Zeitgeist, the cycle of time explaining that our life is cyclic and that kind of summarizes or explains a lot of things, many personal development and lifestyle theories that we have never managed to understand before. On Episode 2, I explained it in a different way, a way more applicable in real life what people talk about letting life follows its natural course or acting according to the natural flow and now we are getting into another subject which complements it all. All subjects here complement each other because this is a video series after all, a webseries.

And today we'll talk about detachment but about another point of view, a different way about how to become detached and how to apply detachment in your life in a practical way, how to use it in your lifestyle So, click on this video's "Like" button. If you don't know me yet, my name is COPINI I believe the first thing we need to discuss about detachment is to define what is NOT detachment So, for that we need to talk about attachment and where it comes from When we were born. .

. due to the way we were raised and due to today's world we have developed an ego, OK? Ego has always existed and it always will however, our world today makes us develop an ego hypertrophy, an inflated ego what causes someone to develop a personal sense of separation and a sense of self-identity beyond the considered normal People will always have their identities, someone's own identity but when that inflames, we have conflicts.

. . but back to detachment Ego's function is to reinforce always the human being's identity to reinforce it to other people.

That happens through the self-image we project to other people, and the image that people have about us. And we know this consciously and unconsciously. Thus, what we do is to attribute characteristics to ourselves in order to reinforce our identity and that's the evil of ego.

That's what makes today the ego something harmful and that's why we talk so much about diluting the ego, or controlling it. And one of the ego's side-effects is to create attachment to things and people People kind of already know that attachment is to create, somehow, weak points in ourselves It's like buying a suffering, kinda making ourselves to suffer for no apparent reason So people are already waking up and finding out that attachment is something harmful to them Detachment, as I always say, is not the lyrics of a melodramatic song where someone is desperate because their relationship is over Don't make the meaning of the word "detachment" become related only to the breakup of a relationship So, let's understand detachment in a rational way Let's splits here in parts the types of detachments and the things we should be detached of I believe the very first one is a material detachment. And this one cannot be wrongly understood.

The most emotionally healthy and more productive way of you living your own life, of you establishing your own lifestyle, is to be detached of material stuff. That doesn't mean to not have desires nor does it mean to not having the desire of achieving material things. For example: you're a guy who have always been passionate about cars and you're saving money to buy a car that you want because you really love it.

You love to live the experience of having a cool car Thus, something you really enjoy in your life. So, you really have to go for it and achieve what you desire. Question here is the attachment and how much you are attached to this idea and how much you transfer your own identity to that car, to that material good.

Your material goods will never be an extension of your identity. Those will always be stuff you will enjoy, but they can never become an extension of you. If you lost that thing, you have the notion that those are only material goods that may be bought and achieved again.

I think this is a quite simple view, of you seeing the material goods but not becoming attached to them. Be detached to material goods but never lose the will of achieving and enjoying them. The second main detachment is the affective detachment and when you achieve this, not only you stop suffering for someone who doesn't want you anymore an ex-girlfriend, an ex-boyfriend, because you'll begin to see and interpret all relationships as a whole in a completely new way.

I know that, if I stay here talking about detachment that you must be detached of people, that's one thing But you really detach yourself from that someone you like is quite something else. I am completely aware of this. But when you manage to see relationships as a whole, to see them in a different way without any masks, that's a whole new level, and then you manage to detach yourself because you understand you already is a complete being, and that people are ends in theirselves.

and are not means to reach a goal. In other words, when you look at women or at men like they were one means to achieve a goal using those people, you begin automatically to behave like you were also one means for other people to achieve a goal. So, begin to see people like they were whole themselves, and you will begin to feel yourself whole.

The third detachment is the detachment from the self. This one is very important As I was saying at the beginning of this video, sometimes the process of building our identity, it makes our self to inflate, to inflame in our lives and we spend our whole life with all our activities All that we do, all of our motivations are means to create an identity And when we get old, the message finally sinks in and people realize that all those efforts were all a lie, and then our masks comes off. And that's why they say that sometimes when people get older, they become children again.

I think that what happens is that the ego's mask falls off and people start to be more easy-going about life because - I don't know - they know they're gonna die anyway And I don't mean this is demeaning, this is really supposed to be productive. I believe people do live during their childhood and then they live again during their old age Our teenage years and adult life, well. .

. our world makes it so that's not considered LIFE after all It is merely some years of struggle and survival. .

. but that shouldn't be this way. .

. Ok, to sum up: detachment of self is about you understanding that all your characteristics both the good and the bad ones, they're not you. All things that you possess, they're not you.

The religion you follow, that may be a good one or a bad one, but again, it's not you. Money you earn is not you. Let me explain this better For example, you are shy and you desire to destroy this shyness At the beginning, you see yourself as a shy guy.

Pay attention to this: A SHY GUY But I see you as someone who HAS some shyness, someone who's going through a shyness stage in life Someone who's suffering from a shyness phase. In other words: shyness is not you. It would be like an app that you've installed into yourself An app that you may, naturally, uninstall from your system.

You just need to know how to do it Those things are inside of us but they are not us, both good things and bad things Both characteristics and faults Our personality itself, things that we do, who we are, our function in this world. All of this are things we do, things we have But they are not us. Anyway, that does not define our inner self.

Don't put any characteristics, anything that you have Even a girlfriend, a wife, someone that you deeply love, as the center of your life. Don't ever put your center in the life of someone else Don't ever live someone else's life, in the rhythm of someone else. Live only in your own rhythm.

Live only your own life. The last detachment, then, is the detachment from the past. And this one is for making a link to Episode 1 and 2, talking about the cycles of time And living life according to its natural flow, and all of this is only possible if you understand that what happened in your life, what is now in the past, that's just it: past.

And past must stay in the past, it must be erased and your life must be interpreted as a book That when you turn the page, you change your cycle, you change your stage. And you leave everything that belongs to the past there, in the past. When something is in the past, that should not be able to access you anymore.

You shouldn't keep trying to reclaim the past Who you were, the people you've related to The things you've done and your personality I believe the most important thing to live in the present is to leave the past in the past. To forget the past, to detach from the past, to let the past die This way you manage to die and to be reborn again, always a better being than before. I know this sounds quite inconsistent, for people who seek evolution are always comparing theirselves to their own past And this is something natural, but nothing is more evolutive than than you go through the process of dying constantly and kind of detaching yourself from the very idea of evolution as well.

We discussed here about material detachment, affective detachment, detachment from the self and detachment from the past. Make detachment a part of yourself as a life style, detach yourself from everything and from everybody but that doesn't mean to isolate yourself, that doesn't mean lack of ambition or lack of energy lack of will of doing things, lack of will of relating with other people That means that, in your mind, you're not attached to anything anymore A big hug to you, click on the Like button if you enjoyed this video, if you understood it And the fourth episode is coming soon, complementing this video's subject If you watched this video and haven't watched the previous episodes, watch them, from Ep. 1 to this one.

And follow me according to the video order. See you soon!