have you ever felt stuck and unable to start a conversation with someone you're attracted to suddenly everything you thought you knew goes out the window and you're left feeling restless jittery a bundle of nerves and unable to make a move well today we're here to help you with this Ultimate Guide to talking to your crush we'll go over picking the right moment the right mindset things to remember conversation tips and techniques all to help you secure a potential date let's get into it there are two elements to starting a conversation with your Crush to keep
in mind your mindset and the experience itself when we give a moment or situation a lot of meaning we start piling pressure on ourselves and the situation to go the way we want it to this pressure can often cause heightened nerves or in worst cases can cause us to choke under the pressure often when we work on our mindset and reduce the amount of importance we put on something we let go and the outcome ends up being better than we could have hoped this is a phenomenon called The Law of re vers effort and we
recommend watching our previous video that goes into more depth on this if you want to know more about how to identify and alleviate some of this pressure so how does this apply to starting a conversation with your crush your mindset and inner voice can sometimes be your worst critic a negative mindset can lead to insecurities and putting your crush on a pedestal forgetting they're a real person will only make life more difficult for yourself you need to win the inner game it's normal for our inner critic to be loud at times is especially when putting
ourselves out there but often this inner critic shouldn't be listened to and adopting a more positive mindset wins picture this you approach your crush you're fidgety looking down sweating profusely and barely able to get a sentence out you're visibly uncomfortable and as a result your crush will be too okay what about if you hold yourself upright smile make a joke and have a general sense of ease about you the result this time is that your crush will also be at ease they're more likely to be attracted to this more confident version of you if you
believe your crush already thinks you're attractive you tackle the situation from a place of calm confidence then chances are they will think you're attractive so it's important to win that inner game and work on your mindset before anything else next let's delve into the experience itself of talking to your crush this part has a lot to do with the inner game too so make sure you've mastered your mindset before approaching your crush there are numerous subtle indicators that can project confidence or insecurity to others unconscious cues that can tell another person how we feel without
even saying it let's go through a few general rules to keep in mind during the conversation to come across as more attractive confident and interested in your crush number one eye contact research shows that maintaining good eye contact not too long or Too Short will make you more liked by the person you're talking to in fact this conclusion was found by multiple studies on multiple occasions proving just how powerful eye contact can really be number two don't rush talking or moving too fast will make you come across as nervous whereas if you move or speak
slower or calmer you sound more self- assured which is an attractive quality to have number three say their name the author of How to Win Friends and Influence People Dale Carnegie famously said a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language when we use someone's name we let them know we identify with them personally and often it can cause someone to instantly relate more to you so try and say their name throughout the conversation but just be careful not to go overboard with them because if you're using someone's
name too much it might come off as a little creepy number four smile it might sound cheesy but a genuine smile can go a long way it conveys warmth and indicates to a person that you're open and friendly number five the last and probably the most important general rule is be interested not interesting imagine you're at a gathering or party you're approached by one person who will not stop talking they talk and talk and keep bringing the conversation back to themselves it's clear they find themselves very interesting now imagine talking to a second person this
person asks you questions about your life laughs at the jokes you tell pays attention to what you're saying and seems to be genuinely interested in to you which person would you like to talk to more we're willing to bet that you'd want to talk to the person who is genuinely interested in you over the self-interested person this is a concept again coined by author and self-improvement Guru Dale Carnegie who found that genuinely expressing interest in another person will make you more favorable and liked by them using these rules will not only boost your confidence and
make you more interesting to talk to but will also help you make real connections however getting really good at this stuff and the thing thinking behind it might require deeper self-reflection and support and that's where our sponsor betterhelp steps into help betterhelp is the world's largest therapy service and it's 100% online you can message your therapist at any time and schedule live sessions when it's convenient for you if your therapist isn't the right bit for any reason you can switch to a new therapist at no additional charge with better help you get the same professional
and quality you'd expect from in-office therapy but with a therapist who is custom picked for you with more schedul flexibility and at a more affordable price betterhelp has a special offer today where you'll get 10% off your first month just go to betterhelp.com Improvement pill thanks again to better help for sponsoring this video now let's move on to the conversation itself how do you actually start this conversation and what do you talk about using the context of the situation that you're both in while you speak to your crush can help you come up with a
topic to talk about for example the context could be work school or a place you share an interest in like an event often shared context is the best place to start any conversation because it gives you both a place of common interest next one of our favorite go-to questions is asking where the nearest coffee shop is or you can ask where the nearest anything is Bank bus stop grocery store this starts the conversation and now you have your crush's attention from there you can have a few conversation topics ready to go these can be related
to anything but it's best to keep them as close to Common Ground as you can for example if if you know your crush has a hobby ask them about it if there's a new restaurant in the area you've been meaning to try ask for their opinion on it if you know your crush is on the shy side tell a story you have about the area and follow up with a question for example oh hey I was just here the other day and I saw the funniest thing happen go into detail about what you saw and
then ask your crush if they've been there recently too or if that's ever happened to them and remember the more relevant the conversation is to the shared situation the better because of that common ground he'll be easily relatable to your crush you can even try complimenting your crush being honest and sincere in your appreciation for someone and acknowledging the good in them can go a long way you could do this by saying something like you know what I really like about you just make sure the compliment is genuine and don't compliment them too often as
this can come off as a little off-putting when the conversation is coming to a natural close be direct making your interest known to your crush early is important it means they aren't confused about your feelings about them it'll also invite them to be more direct with you about their feelings and the conversation by asking them out for example saying the following hey I like you would you like to go on a date sometime is direct and leaves no room for confusion on what your feelings are for your crush it's better to know if this person
is interested in you in the same way early on to avoid wasting any time or energy and asking someone out directly like this will not only appear confident but boost your confidence too if your crush says yes you're going on a date we recommend watching our video on dating to really master your date which you can find in the description below if they say no that's okay in fact it's a good thing that you've both been upfront about your feelings this person might not have been for you but you can take this as a good
experience learn from it and move on and that's it a comprehensive guide to talking to your crush remember to win that inner game keep in mind those general rules talk about a topic that's common ground and end with being direct good luck and catch you in the next one
