sometimes I have a tough time feeling proud of myself do you know what that you know and I think I've had other people call in our our show that have talked about that you know what do you think it is I don't know I feel like um I almost feel like there just there's a disconnect like it doesn't even land on me or I feel like maybe if I feel like I'm proud of myself like if I actually feel proud of myself it'll go against some script that I've always had written or some some thing
that was always written inside of me you know it's like it it's almost like it wouldn't if I wrote on the wall of myself I'm proud of you it wouldn't even [ __ ] show up on the wall what emotion would you feel if you saw that um like what emotion would I feel if I saw what I'm proud of myself would you go [ __ ] would you say be pissed off by it would you be annoyed would you just I think I feel ashamed of myself for even thinking it that's interesting and It
produced an emotion in you just now even when you just thought about it I saw that flash in your eyes just a little bit of water a little bit of fluid oh yeah dude [ __ ] we cry on here every week sorry dude beautiful no it's okay but yeah we don't have any we don't have any Shame about that no you shouldn't but I'm saying liquid Le leaving your body in a public place as long as Through Your Eyes is not a problem that's what I'm talking about huh yeah yeah don't ask don't ask
that's right but my point is there's a real anchor for you there so let me explain it to you everybody has what I call an emotional home yeah do you ever watch like a a place here and let's say you know where the Cyclone happens every 2 or 3 years it wipes out everything or tornado comes through and you see these poor people all their stuff's all over the ground and they're picking it up and you could have a Heart of Stone not to feel they rebuild two years again it happens again two years later
happens again some part of you eventually goes why don't you move you know it's like why don't you move a lot of vietnams like that it floods New Orleans is like that it floods New Orleans like that so here's why don't they move because it's home it's what they know we have an emotional home we have certain emotions that got built up in your youth I had four fathers I had a mother that was pretty intense and I had a lot of emotions that came out of that experience if I didn't reprogram myself I wouldn't
be sitting here with you today because my emotional home was not good feelings it's what I was used to so even though it didn't feel good you go there because it's what you know yeah it's comfortable so yeah it almost feel like I was deserting myself if I felt good about myself which is crazy I'd almost feel like I was leaving I don't know yeah it's almost like I knew those feelings finish that thought I'm leaving what well it's almost like I feel like I know those feelings of not feeling good about myself so well
that I would be I don't want to leave him alone because we always had each other and it was like if I leave him you know if I have you ever have you ever had a friend I leave him I just I won't I don't know does that make sense though yeah it does you want what if I leave them I'll just be letting them down and they're not even yeah they're not even real but they're to pardon me some part of me inside of me I can't even access they're like his brothers that's right
they're your home brother and by the way I I I really appreciate you being so vulnerable because people watching there seeing that allow them to be vulnerable because you're a role model of that it's because you're funny as [ __ ] but to be able to be that vulnerable is beautiful but let me just tell you something those are not your friends yeah you know and you're not going to abandon those parts of yourself you're going to find these other parts of yourself that need to be in charge it's not to say that you can't
have negative emotions or fears or feelings but the ones that don't support you you got to break that pattern and the way you break the pattern first first is you start to see you get a new experience if I get you an experience where you feel like you actually felt proud of yourself without those feelings and there was no sense of loss and I did that with you for days and days you'll never go back wow cuz your brain will go what the f I'm not going back to that [ __ ] those weren't my
friends it'd be like you know it's like having a friend that beats the [ __ ] out of you every single day and it's like I'm letting him down if I don't let him beat the [ __ ] out of me right it's like oh no I I got to be there for him cuz I got to be it can beat the [ __ ] out of me all the place right that's pretty much what happen here dude you're like Dam here we go again and so then what happens though is the reason you went
for the antidepressants is it's so overwhelming that numbing at least feels a less I'd rather see you cry and feel the pain even though I want you to feel pain as a brother yeah no I'm grateful to feel it I want it out of my system that's right but the next step for you is drawing a line on the sand of how you really want to feel so I'll have people an event right down I give them like a minute I go draw a line down the middle right down the left side all the positive
emotions you feel in an average week not once a year not once a month the ones you regularly feel whatever good feelings the average emotions in a POS in a positive week posi so what are some ones you feel in a week in a week uh feel at least at least once a week okay any emotion uh positive start with the positive positive emping emotions hopeful okay um thankful yeah um loving yeah um and uh maybe some pride good and so so the pride the pride is sneaking in now that's not ego Pride that's pride
of like you're growing well I'm learning about Pride I mean it's like I said it's really hard for me to feel pride of myself you know so stop saying that okay cuz every time you say that you're rewiring it back into your body over and over it's a story it's like there's an old phrase that says tell a lie big enough tell a lie big enough loud enough and long enough sooner or later people believe it you know who said that Hitler oh I think you say fouchy well same difference but yeah I didn't know
who was going to be we're aligned on that one brother you're quicker you're quicker than than I am but no so yeah we hear what we're saying but you the conversation you've said with yourself you've done how many times do you think you've said that said what that you know I'm it's hard for me I you know I say I say it a lot yeah it's because I think I'm yeah it's like having a new story for myself I you know part of me still there's a heavy bit even to my whole new story having
a new story even having s some success in my life it's almost like some of it feels embarrassing you know and some people feel like you know the word people use is impostor syndrome it's all [ __ ] it's just fear that you're not enough we all have that fear brother I feel that at times I don't feel it much now but I'm 63 years old and I've done a shitload of things for 40 years you know you buil enough pattern yeah I built up new patterns it's like a muscle you know everybody's got the
muscle if you use it it grows if you don't use it you lose it right it doesn't ever disappear though it just looks like it's not there but if you demand it you push it beyond what it's comfortable with and that's what you're doing right now you're pushing beyond your comfort you were settling for Comfort to try to survive now you're like like f that I want more out of this life you know I'm not going to settle for that [ __ ] but then you keep telling yourself the old story so change your story
change your life it sounds overly simplistic but it is true oh I love it I appreciate you saying it yeah yeah I think a lot of this chat has been about that and but look at the postive emotions you wrote down so you just told me verbally right so you're hopeful you have are you playful or funny or what would be your term around that part of you because I didn't hear that part of you I know it's there no I feel like that part of me became such my work that I haven't had as
much free time to be that as I on your own okay cool well so those the positives what are the negatives you feel in an average week at least once a week not once a month once a year what are the negative emotions you feel um ugly okay um I feel um incapable angry um and I feel uh disappointing okay so which which of those emotions is most powerful for you um the positive list or the negative list the negative list is more powerful and that's true for most people watch this what's an emotion that
if it became the dominant emotion of your life one or two that would get rid of those negas like they would have any power over you what would be an emotional state would it be like courage or would it be playfulness or would it be uh uh let's say Joy or would it be gr you've already got gratitude more gratitude what be an emotion that's so strong that it would get rid of the disappointment probably love you know there you go and that's that's your core brother and hear you say that on the first one
that's all you really want it's probably why you do this podcast it's probably why you make people laugh me too by the way the only reason I do what I do is I love people I love to see people happy because I was so unhappy myself and I got out of it so I was so grateful it's like I don't it's like you know I feed you know 100 million people a year 100 million meals doing I've done a billion meals in the last eight years J Christ dude that's almost that's what that's what McDonald's
did isn't it and it was free they're pretty cheap at McDonald's but dang dude but I did it not because I'm a good person I did it because I grew up and I had no money and no food when I was 11 somebody came and fed us on Thanksgiving and I was like that made me believe strangers care strangers care about me and they care about strangers and so I fell in love with people and I want to make people feel happy and I know what it feels like not food I know what it feels
like to be absolutely depressed and miserable and saying do I even need to stick around in this life right so I don't want anybody else to feel that so it drove me to find answers not just for me once I found it for me I wanted to help as many people as I can but why I want to do it cuz I love love cuz when you help people that much I mean I have so much love my life it's ridiculous I get stopped on the street every day and people don't come up and say
oh I like your show or something come up and go you changed my life oh my God I love you Tony Robbins and I always say no I didn't do it you did it but I'm glad I helped but I love the love that comes from it yeah so we all really want love but we're afraid we're not enough and you my friend you are growing like a weed right now cuz you're doing things most people never get out of and I'm not blowing smoke your way I'm not a [ __ ] I don't feel
I don't feel that man I appreciate you saying it yeah the truth but you gotta you got to notice your progress and you got you got to stack the good and then you got to stop the old story and the minute you start to say that phrase [ __ ] that's an old story it's not true anymore yeah I think a part of me is afraid that I'm going to leave a part of me like um if I you know if I even if I be successful so let's investigate that for a second like if
I be successful I'm going to leave a part of me behind you know well then you're effed right now because you're already successful you got I don't know how many millions of people I'm sure that watch your podcast you make people laugh all over the world you have people that ad sometimes but all those emotions are old habits they're just habits so I understand that and by the way when you feel embarrassed or you feel these negative emotions yeah it also makes you feel for yourself for a little bit so that's the other part you
might be afraid of like some people take care of well like for some I don't know if this is you but some people are so busy trying to make everybody else happy all the time they don't take care of themselves unless it's a big ass problem and then for the first time even it's a negative feeling at least I'm feeling for myself I'm feeling for me and that might be what you're afraid of losing let's try it for a second here what if I told you you could go back and feel like [ __ ]
as much as you want it'll never stop right but you don't have to have it be the predominant emotion of your life that you this need to beat yourself up or be ashamed or not be too happy that it's an old story that got wired a long time ago and it has nothing to do with who you really are but when you keep telling yourself it's like my friend I need to take care of I'm going lose a part of myself no you'll never lose that part there's a part of me that would be a
victim very easily I was beat as a child my mom was a beautiful woman I'm not denigrating her when she put but she put but she put alcohol together with prescription drugs she was crazy and I was 51 in high school believe it or not I'm 67 now I told people the difference I tell people the difference is personal growth right but I had a tumor in my brain that made me grow but I was this little guy she would slam my head against it she'd Put liquid soap down my throat because she said I
was lying and I wasn't lying and when the person you love most is trying to hurt you you can do a number on your head but I look back now and fortunately I didn't let that stop me and I didn't settle for that I struggled for a long time I look back on I can honestly tell you if she was the mother I'd hope she'd been like if I was wellfed you really think I'd be trying to feed a bill you tri not a billion people now I'm trying to feed 100 billion people you think
I would be spending my time doing that if I was a well-fed kid I don't think so if she had been the mother I want I wouldn't have become the man I'm proud to be yeah so so those emotions are not you they were a part of your past they were a pattern it's a pattern of what you do with your body and breathe but it meet some of your needs to feel feel yourself or feel sorry for yourself or feel sad right you follow me it's like a self-pity thing a little bit but what
you're really wanting is not self-pity you're wanting self-love you just haven't learned how to give it to yourself my way of doing that is gratitude because when you're grateful love flows naturally is that a common pattern that sometimes cuz I I noticed over like a about two years ago I noticed that I when one of my biggest addictions sometimes was self-pity I didn't even realize it I thought I was helping myself by like focusing on myself but really I'd been too I was feeling too pitiful yeah I I didn't it was it was man it
was I realized my alcohol was self-pity anytime I also also alcohol is a depressant so what's going to do is lower it feels good in the moment but then it lowers your energy and your blood sugar everything right same for self-pity sayp same thing now your energy think about it self-pity if you're in self-pity right now 0 to 10 10 is total high energy Zero's no energy where are you in self-pity where would you put it oh two yeah where are you when you're feeling excited um where's my energy 0 to 10 yeah uh my
energy when I'm feeling excited is like a nine yeah which one do you want to be I'd rather be the nine yeah why the [ __ ] want us just do that I know
