Parents Favored My Brother, Missed My Milestones For His Events, So I Didn't Tell Them About My W...

parents favored my brother missed my milestones for his events so I didn't tell them about my wedding now they're facing shame and divorce so I 27f have a younger brother Mike 21 male he is the definition of a man child and a mama's boy always complaining always expecting others to bow to him just overall an ever since he was born my parents fussed over him for everything he's not special needs or had a traumatic birth or anything of the sort he was just born and my parents completely discarded me my mom mom 50F especially she

went from a loving mother to one of those boy moms that people make fun of on the internet my father 50m still showed me love and support but he's always been too much of a coward to stand up to my mother and let me win at least once the only one who stood for me was my grandpa 76m who always called my parents out on their and never liked my brother I remind him of his late wife my grandma and we have a very special bond but he lives on the other side of the country

and I could never see him often Mike knows our mom prefers him and loves to shove it in my face because of this and his behavior we've always been at odds he's spoiled a brat and an awful human I can't remember how many times I ended up in trouble for things I did better than him or for things he framed me with his only Talent are his football skills he won a scholarship to a nice College out of state my parents didn't spend a dime on my education because apparently my fund had been used to

cover expenses after a fire just for me to discover years later that said money were given to Mike to buy a car in a house it's at Public University that I met Lucas he was the first person I was really drawn to there of course of course I met new people who are now my dearest friends and thanks to them and Lucas who was my best friend for years before we got together I managed to move out of my parents house now both Lucas and I are e well known in our fields and have very

good salaries now to the main issue Lucas proposed to me a year ago we're very private people so we didn't post it on social media or anything and when I told my parents they dismissed it with a that's nice I'm starting to think they downright didn't listen to me at all we decided that we wanted a nice but simple ceremony and reception with our friends and relatives Lucas convinced me to invite my parents and brother but they never responded to the invite and whenever I went to visit and began to talk about my wedding without

mentioning it was a wedding my mom would always speak over me and about my brother's accomplishments and Wild Adventures at one point I got fed up with it and interrupted my mom to tell her that there was an event I was planning to organize whose date was unmovable she told me that they couldn't attend because my brother was playing the last game of the season that very same day and wanted them to be there of course this favoritism didn't surprise me they missed my ballets shows and both my high school and University graduation for things

about him at this point I wanted to be Petty I told both my parents that it wasn't a problem to miss this event purposely admitted the fact that this event was my wedding and didn't insist further flash forward to a few weeks ago I got married it was perfect my family Lucas family and our friends were all there and we had a blast my grandpa was happy to give me away and it was just perfect my relatives asked me multiple times why my parents weren't there with us I was honest and simply said they had

my brother's game to attend and couldn't come they gave me a few looks and my grandpa was visibly angry for a while but otherwise nothing strange happened after the reception Lucas and I left for our honeymoon and were phone free for the whole duration of the trip but once we got back we discovered that a storm was well coming us home I turned my phone on and was unable to even unlock it before a storm of notifications popped up most of them were from my mother and brother Mike called me all sorts of nasty names

and insulted me because apparently one of my paternal aunts posted the photos of the wedding on Facebook and captioned it with a very obvious dig at my parents as especially my mom for missing the wedding the post apparently went viral in my parents community and they've been publicly shamed for their mistreatment of me it also turns out that my grandpa personally visited my parents to go on a tie raid to shame my father his son to the point of tears and this seemed to be my father's breaking point because he was so distraught for missing

his only daughter's wedding and for his father's disapproval that he finally rebelled against my mom and is threatening divorce unless she makes it up to me I think that's the reason why my mom has been spamming my phone with messages at first insulting and threatening and then downright pitiful full of begging and pity parties now I'm at home with my husband deciding how to approach the situation most of my relatives even those I didn't invite to the wedding reached out to apologize for what I went through and to claim they had no idea this was

happening at home can't blame any of my relatives they all live with my grandpa on the other side of the country or in another state but my mom's sisters and friends are belittling me for not telling my mom about the wedding because now she's inconsolable at the thought of having missed my wedding personally I think she just claims that to sa face but I'm not sure the latest messages from my father and mother seem extremely saddened and hurt for missing my wedding now my family is divided on three fronts the majority who is sticking by

my side my maternal Aunt shaming me for hurting my mom's feelings and my maternal grandparents who are adamant that I forgive my mom in light of her atonement my best friends are telling me not to listen to them so Reddit Ida edit thank you so much for the feedback and love it's overwhelming I'm going to address the popular questions here one I did inform my parents about my wedding I sent traditional onp paper invites to all my guests and was notified that all invites had reached their address ease I did not receive any answer from

my parents and Mike a few very distant relatives and some people on Luca side I did reach out to all of them through message to double check and those who hadn't replied told me they couldn't come I asked my parents and brother via text but they didn't respond I was left on Reed knowing them and given all the things I had to plan I didn't bother insisting two I didn't repeat the date of my wedding because I had already been told there was my brother's game plus every time I insisted on highlighting my celebrations to

get an answer I was always told that it wasn't that important and to not be pissy and a bother because some things were simply more important than me at this point I think it's fair for me to not insist anymore it's not worth the effort three I didn't keep my wedding a secret I avoided telling my parents that it was my wedding to see if they would be interested in the slightest but surprise surprise they weren't despite this I did openly talk about my wedding with my aunts and uncles my mother was in the room

with us a few times when I discussed venues or dress shops with my aunt the FB post W but sometimes mom was on the phone and other times she was just chatting with other people she never paid attention when I talked about it during reunions she smiled and said that's great dear and then would change the subject radio silence on Dad and Mike four I kept in contact with them because well all the times I tried to go NC in the past years I've been harassed I tried after my HS Bachelor and Masters graduations to

which they never bothered to show up for reasons involving my brother every time I was shamed for daring to turn my back on family by my parents my brother my maternal aunts and my maternal grandparents I think the Turning Point here is that all those times Lucas wasn't by my side we started dating a little after my last attempt at going NC and how that I have him here I feel more confident in my stance but before that I want this confident as I already stated all my paternal side lives on the other side of

the country and wasn't aware of how they treated me I did try to expose my parents once at 14 my Aunts Uncles and Grandpa reprimanded them they faked being sorry and then once home I got the beating and gaslighting of my life for lying after that L kept in regularly with my paternal side but admitting my parents abuse out of fear which TBH still haunts me to this day only Grandpa knew but he was always threatened to be alienated from me if he tried anything five my parents and I are not from the same city

I live in a city an hour drive from my parents small town and they don't know my new address because once my brother tried to break in my apartment to steal some cash and my mother backed him up claiming that siblings share their goods now I moved and I'll be sure not to tell them where I live six my parents didn't buy my brother a car in a house before he even started high school they bought him a car for his 16th birthday and a house near his college when he began freshman year they didn't

spend the money of my fund right away they just lied to me to use it later for my brother keeping it stored for later in the meantime update one to those who believed my story was fake I want to say that I'm happy your family life is better than mine to the point of thinking of My reality as a fantasy but I'd appreciate it if you stopped harassing me and DM claiming that I'm writing a fake story for a if I've missed a few details in the OG post it's because I was overwhelmed and crying

my eyes out because of my family's harassment you are not forced to read my story or think it's true but I think keeping the smallest amount of decency would be nice Oh and before diving in the update let me clarify a few things one yes the invitation specifically stated it was a wedding no excuses two my maternal side of the family didn't come to the wedding I'm sorry I didn't make that clear in the OG post most of them were busy and the others just gave me excuses to send a gift but not come that's

it don't ask me why they didn't discuss my wedding with my mom it's not like I live in their brain three my mother's atonement is the fact that she apologized via text now onto the update things have been a little crazy this past week I got off of Reddit for a couple of days to gather my thoughts then I had a lengthy conversation with Lucas about how to proceed he's been my rock and I don't think I could ever love him more than I already do my parents were always a taboo topic but he hit

me with a brutal reality check that I absolutely needed we reached the conclusion that the fact I kept in contact all this time stuck around and couldn't go and see isn't healthy I've realized that the reason I never fully went NC was that deep down I just wanted their approval even now for once pathetic I know but it's like a drug being with my parents they can be loving funny caring and warm until they're not the little love they give makes you crave for more and you want their approval so badly you destroy yourself but

that's enough I promised myself that things are going to change I've thought about it and decided to start therapy and to go and see with all those who made an issue about this situation for good this time after the day's dedic at on reflecting on how I feel I ended up messaging my father to tell him that if he wanted to talk I will D meet him Mom and Mike in a neutral location the following day he immediately replied and agreed and we met at the park my father's sisters and brother accompanied us for damage

control my father looked distra and as if he had been crying for a while my mom looked the same but I think it was more out of anger and embarrassment my brother looked annoyed I told the three of them about how their behavior and preference in regards of my brother always hurt me and that their abusive Behavior made me realize that I didn't want contact with any of them again after that meeting my mother tried to cut me off multiple times but my aunt the one who posted on FB shut her up every single time

when I asked them why would they treat me this way they didn't know what to say my father kept crying and apologizing without giving me an answer and my uncle reprimanded him for it my mother seemed as if she was asking herself that for the first time but well in the end she just said that she simply disliked me plain and simple and my brother he just liked the attention and making me miserable as some kind of sport I went on with my questions when I asked why they never responded to my invite they claimed

to have never received one I showed them the texts but they denied receiving them and well it turns out that they hadn't in fact received my wedding invitation when it arrived to their house they weren't there the only one in the house was my brother who had come visiting for the weekend he saw the invite and as many of you guessed ripped it up and trashed it and then when I texted my parents he deleted the messages wasn't hard to do according to him they kept my chat archived and didn't get the notification so my

parents never actually got a formal invitation I was just distraught I asked Mike why would he do that and he just Shrugged and claimed that it wasn't as important as the stuff they had in program anyway I had to stop L ukas from punching him in the face strangely enough my parents were upset and started reprimanding him he actually began to throw a tantrum and cry crocodile tears and I must admit that I was kind of satisfied but then my mom claimed that all was resolved there was no need to fuss over a misunderstanding and

it was time for me to clear their name that set me off and I interrupted her telling her that they weren't forgiven at all that just because Mike trashed the invite it didn't mean it automatically canceled all their neglect out plus all that time it was still very obvious that I was having a wedding and they should have asked about it you want to know my mother's response she said something along the lines of I did hear you talking about a wedding of yours but I just thought you were being delusional and seeking my attention

with exaggerated scenarios she was convinced Lucas didn't actually like me nor would ever marry me when I tell you I was about to trash her face do you believe me another thing came up it turns out that my brother didn't have aot football game to go to it all my parents use the fact that my husband friends and I know little to nothing about football we prefer soccer And the fact I stopped asking about it when Mike would mock me during his time in high school to make up a story to avoid my event at

the time I wrote the OG post I couldn't confirm or deny the presence of a game because my brother has private social media and Lucas and I are blocked and I foolishly trusted my parents word but no you want to know where they went with that Manch child they went to Disneyland because Mike wanted to go they used the football story to cover for my brother's 100th t from holiday and apparently they did it multiple times in the past months at that point I was just completely burned out and overwhelmed by this amount of informations

the fact that I had been fooled this badly that I was so Gill geni Nelly made my blood boil and I snapped I stood up and told my father he was a sad weak man unable to stand up for his kids unless his wife approved of it I told my brother he was a little a poor excuse of a man that will not accomplish anything in his life and that he'll always live like the leech he is baby to the point of uselessness and to my mom I just I told her that she was the

worst narcissist pathetic little woman on the earth that she didn't even deserve to be addressed and judged for her irrelevance that not even God could help her out because she is just too rotten harsh I know my mother shot up from her seat to scream at me halfway through my rant to her but I was just too mad I shouted at her to shut the up and sit down and listen for once she got so mad it felt like steam was coming out of her ears I don't remember much after that just that I kept

talking and talking it felt as if all my anger and hurt just flooded out at one point point I'm pretty sure the whole park was silent I spat at my parents and Mike that I was disowning them all and that if they're smart they'll think before reaching out again I took my purse and left with Lucas Anna and Francis leaving my parents and brother at my aunts and uncle's Mercy I think at some point the reality of what I had just learned and said finally hit me because I ended up having a panic attack on

the way home Lucas was driving so Anna helped me through it until we stopped in a parking lot to calm me down I am beyond grateful for their help once home I just fell on the bed and went to sleep I really wanted go with you guys advice and post the whole thread on FB but given my work and career I couldn't expose myself like that one thing is sharing my story from an anonymous throwaway on Reddit the other is on FB with my name and face plastered everywhere I couldn't go down that path instead

I did something better I made a folder with all of my moth er's insults messages and awful comments and sent it to the woman in charge of my mom's church it's a tight-knit community my mom worked her ass off to enter in but that is also extremely judgmental and being shunned by them is a death sentence and well that's exactly what happened just like clockwork the Scandal spread like wildfire going out of the church and reaching the rest of the small town you can imagine what this means for my mother and father because of my

little spill I did find other messages from my maternal side of the family belittling me even more for upsetting their sister or daughter and insulting her I just didn't care anymore at that point so I followed you guys advice and told them that from now on they will no longer be part of my life and that they can talk all they want I just won't care instead they should be grateful I don't send their nasty text to their employers and spouses I blocked every single one of them grandparents included on everything I did find a

lengthy message from my father he apologized for not being strong enough to face my mother agreed that what I said was true and couldn't believe that he had lost so much of my life because of her he told me he is going to divorce her no matter what my decision will be because he is tired of being controlled he would like a relationship with me to make up for all the years that passed I did reply to him to tell him that as of now I really don't want to see him or forgive him he

has replied that he'll try his best to win me back and that he loves me I replied back that as of now I find that hard to believe and then blocked him too frankly his slimy way of trying to have an out from this situation by throwing my mother under the bus is pathetic at least she was hateful and owned up to it he is only able to blame others for his choices I don't want to surround myself with people like that my mother and brother are blocked similarly too my maternal side Mike wrote other

messages to taunt and insult me and I just blocked him my mom threw herself a pity party for being shunned by her community and for her marriage going into shambles and I just replied good before blocking her too as for my grandpa he has decided to stay with us for a while to stick by my side he really is the best and has read some of your comments he isn't going to admit that he's flattered by them since then a few days have passed and all has been quiet Lucas is spoiling me rotten and I'm

starting therapy soon