Brother Wants To Bring His Manipulative Best Friend To My Wedding, But I Refuse And Invite His Gi...

brother wants to bring his manipulative best friend to my wedding but I refuse and invite his girlfriend instead causing a huge argument my brother is 29 and has been with Leah for about 2 years we all like her she is super nice I am getting married next April and sent an invite to my brother's apartment we decided to send invites to households and not individuals for example our Aunt received an invite for her family and not for each individual last Thursday we met at my parents place it was just the CORE family because of some

tax reasons LOL while there I asked my brother about Leah dietary restrictions I know that she is a vegetarian for health reasons and that she cannot have certain raw vegetables he said that she wasn't going to come and that he was taking his girl best friend Amanda instead now their relationship is weird AF Amanda has always been stringing my brother along in my opinion he always denies having feelings for her but letun be real here Amanda would date other guys blow off my brother then when things were on the decline with her Partners she would

be attached to him again her last boyfriend broke up with her right around the time my brother his then girlfriend Amanda and her ex were supposed to travel to Spain what did my Idiot Brother do go with Amanda alone because Amanda was uncomfortable with his ex-girlfriend obviously he acted blindsided when his girlfriend broke up with him I didn't even say anything anymore because it's all so weird so when he said that I asked if Leah already had other plans but my brother said that Amanda had asked if she could come because it would be an

opportunity to finally see the old gang we were in the same friend group in high school I told him that I would have invited Amanda if I wanted her there Amanda is mean and and cold she always makes disparaging comments about other girls at every event around 1 hour in she will make some sort of scene that either has her running away crying or sitting mad at a table telling everyone to leave her alone and then making a cryptic comment about something hurting her I told my brother I was revoking his plus one and Amanda

was not coming to our wedding he accused me of being misogynistic and bigoted because I don't understand opposite sex friendships which is BS my husband has a female childhood friend who is his best woman I love her too and she has been amazing and she respects [ __ ] B she always includes me and made a huge effort when I started dating my fiance to integrate me into the friend group anyway I said my decision was final he could take it or leave it but I would be inviting Leah myself because I like her he

screamed at me and told me to keep out of his business I said to get rid of his weird [ __ ] feelings for Amanda he is mad at me my dad said is none of our deal my mom is furious with my brother so Ida edit to answer some questions the invite was addressed to the Smiths funnily enough Leah had the same last name as us granted we have one of the most common last names yes they live together the tax thing is nothing huge my parents have a small buness but are really bad

at keeping track of all their receipts so every month we go and help them we digitalize the receipts and put them in a bookkeeping software for the accountant update one I listen to two hot takes every day on my commute so it was a huge surprise when you responded to my post thanks for your insights regarding the invitation I now realize I shouldn't have phrased it as inviting a single person I thought inviting households would be cute and less pressure for guests lesson learned LOL here's an update I'd like to share with you after the

confrontation I didn't hear from Leo or my brother for about 2 days during that time Amanda reached out to me upset about my Reddit post she called me an [ __ ] and insisted that Leah is not the only special woman in my brother's life she argued neither Leah nor I have the right to be selfish with my brother's time asserting she existed before Leah or any of his girlfriends and would Outlast them all she ended with a presumptuous statement that she would surely see me at my wedding I was fuming I chose not to

engage with her other remarks but instead sent her a clear message hello Amanda you are not invited to my wedding if you want to see the old gang please organize a coffee date when they're all in town should you appear at the wedding you will be escorted out peacefully by staff or with police involvement please refrain from contacting me or my husband Amanda responded with more emails mostly vague threats and name calling and turned to Instagram to indirectly Target me she tagged me in posts making my username small so people wouldn't notice me tagged but

would see it in my notifications she also used and ask me any sticker on her Instagram story where I'm pretty sure she asked herself leading questions highlights included questions like what's the perfect outfit for a wedding with a photo of herself and a dress captioned this but sadly I'll never get to use it and what is your pet peeve followed by a rant about nosy people who think they have the right to control others she flooded her story with sad quotes about no longer having a girl's girl she tagged me in every single one of

course I screenshotted them all LOL some friends reached out when Amanda started spreading a different story claiming I originally invited her but later disinvited her because Leah hates her and pressured my brother to do the same the cool part not one person believed her many of our old high school friends have cut ties with Amanda and a few guys who still talk to her are more linked to my brother they reached out to let me know Amanda was spreading rumors the girls in the group blocked her after she vented to them which led Amanda to

start bombarding their phones my brother panicked thinking I'd started a campaign against her speaking of my brother he called and texted me multiple times Furious that I excluded Amanda and even blamed me for any harm she might come too he went as far as calling our mother saying Amanda was depressed and threatening never to forgive me if something happened to her my mom advised him to call for a welfare check if he was genuinely concerned because he as an individual with no training wouldn't be equipped to handle such situations the biggest development is that my

brother got kicked out of a shared Department Leah called me to say their relationship might not continue and that she might not feel comfortable coming to the wedding I understood her decision and offered an open ear we met for coffee and she recounted their ugly fight without going into all the details Leah didn't hold back she made my brother read every single text out loud between him and Amanda and sent a copy to one of her male friends who replied Leah WTF this is not okay she used this as evidence that their interactions were at

best inappropriate and realistically an emotional affair when my brother begged her to stay she asked him why knowing he would always choose Amanda he swore he wouldn't but his immediate response to a hysterical call from Amanda about me bullying her proved otherwise Leah left while he comforted Amanda in another room later she text texted him that he needed to move out while she was away it's her apartment and she didn't want to see him until certain conditions were met cutting Amanda out completely and seeking therapy to address his unhealthy patterns the fight span two intense

days Leah found solace in your podcast and the comments here she described it as surreal but helpful she sends her greetings and wants people in similar situations to know a few things don't fear being alone because being with someone wh oh is not good for you will make you feel lonlier than being single never enter a relationship with a can fix a mentality as it usually ends in heartbreak prioritize yourself and while trying to work things out is Noble don't depend on it as the solution that's pretty much it it sounds convoluted like a soap

opera but my day-to-day life has surprisingly been calm I think my brother really needs to mature and either commit to Amanda or realize he's being strung along and to Amanda please grow up and leave me alone we got a call yesterday night he has been in a car crash abroad my father and I are on the way there getting plain tickets was almost impossible so we've been driving since 5:00 a.m. he was on a holiday with Amanda to clear their minds Amanda didn't even call us I don't know if she is still with my brother

or if she is also hurt my brother's phone was shattered so he can't update us the nurse bless her soul has been updating us he can't even talk to us I think I'm just writing because I don't know what else to do my dad doesn't want to talk I don't know if he is mad or worried or both I have never seen this expression on his face my brother is an idiot who would hurt a bunch of people because he is selfish but I still don't want him to die he is my brother thank God

he is alive Amanda is not here do this has been an absolutely terrible week my brother is alive but not doing well we're stressed out of our minds because of the insurance situation he and Amanda went to a country that's not part of the European Union and of course he didn't book any travel insurance so we have to pay up front and hope his insurance will refund us but we all know how that goes if they owe you money you might see it in 8 to 18 business months my mom and Leah are trying to

figure that out too Amanda came to the hospital yesterday she hadn't left she just had to go to the police because of the car crash the reason my brother is in hospital is not because of the crash but because of sepsis a UTI turned kidney infection turned sepsis they decided to go on vacation to blow off steam around 4 days in my brother started feeling warm and sick Amanda said she offered to drive him to an ER but he declined I'm not sure if she's telling the truth but this is the first time I've seen

her being genuine they went out drinking and when they came home he took something for the pain Amanda couldn't tell me exactly what it was but she said it worried her because you're not supposed to mix medication with alcohol they started arguing and then my brother passed out I don't know why she didn't call an ambulance she couldn't explain it to me either but when my brother came too she loaded him into the car Amanda said she panicked and when they were arriving at the hospital she crashed into a barrier that's when my brother's phone

which he was holding flew out of the window Amanda decided to run into the clinic to get someone and stay with the car until the police came after that they didn't let her in because she's not family instead of calling us immediately she went back to their Airbnb and told me that she just needed a moment to process everything she had to go to to the police pay for the damage and then went to see my brother but here's where it gets frustrating Amanda decided that she needed to clear her head and left my brother

in the hospital alone for a day she checked into a nearby hotel to rest she didn't tell any of us where she was until she showed up at the hospital yesterday looking somewhat relaxed and acting as if everything was under control when we confronted her about leaving my brother alone she said I just needed some time to get myself together it's been overwhelming Meanwhile my brother was lying in a hospital bed in a foreign country with no way to contact us because phone was shattered in the crash we're now trying to navigate the logistics of

getting him home and ensuring he gets the medical care he needs Amanda on the other hand seems more concerned about how this whole situation is affecting her peace of mind she even posted a photo from her hotel room with a caption like taking a much needed break it has been a nightmare and Amanda's Behavior while not super malicious has added to the stress we're doing everything we can to support my brother my brother on the other hand is struggling physically and emotionally he's worried about the mounting medical bills his Rec Y and the strain this

situation has put on our family on top of that he's afraid that Amanda is losing interest in him which only adds to his anxiety that's why we're playing nice with Amanda to avoid adding any more stress for my brother we're focusing on getting him the best care possible and bringing him home safely now story to fiance and mother had an affair behind my back resulting in my brother forcing me to confront them and leave them both behind my fiance 25 male and myself 24f have been together since we were 17 18 years old h honestly

he was always kind handsome funny and everyone used to say I was so lucky to have the whole package I felt so lucky too he always treated me with love and respect so this makes everything just so shocking for me I have always had a good relationship with my mom it has always been her and I Against the World my dad died in an accident when I was little we always joke we are the real life Rory and loreli from Gilmore Girls my mom dated guys on and off and they were usually cool but nothing

really passed the early stages around 4 years ago my mom told me she was pregnant which was a huge surprise my mom mom was around 42 years old and although she was sort of dating someone recently didn't meet the guy but knew she went on dates it still was a big shock she never thought she could be pregnant at her age she had me when she was soup or young an oopsy and I can tell she was stressed and worried I decided to support her since she has always supported me and tried to reassure her

she then had my brother who is now 3 years old I have a close relationship with my brother I have helped taken care of him since he was born and I just love the little guy my fiance was also always helpful with my brother we would take him out for ice cream playground pool time during summer Etc but nothing was weird he was just my then BF spending time with my brother and I now to the how I found out my fiance and I lived together since we finished College my fiance was not at home

since he was hanging out with friends but I was home BC I didn't feel like going out and just wanted to chill on my sofa at some point during binge watching a series on Netflix my laptop died and I was too lazy to go get my charger so I just took my fiance's iPad I know the password but honestly never used it before the iPad logged in and I got a bunch of messages pinging I guess he hasn't used it in a while too anyways this got my attention and I went to check it out

on ofc I found everything my mom's number wasn't under her name but I recognized the number and verified it with my phone she was telling him she felt guilty and that I should know he said he also felt guilty but couldn't lose me and they f backlashed it up she said that it was unfair for my brother to never not know his dad and that if he could live having his son around not behaving like a dad but a brother-in-law I broke down what the actual F there weren't a lot of older messages just some

photos stored of my brother as a newborn my mom pregnant and more photos of my brother growing up in an album I couldn't anymore I cried for what it seem ages and I wait for my BF to come back home I wish I was one of those women that can pretend and get things together before confronting the cheater but I can't he came back later that night Aro 23:30 and I just gave him the iPad with the conversation opened and saw his face completely go pale I asked for an explanation when how why and he

didn't want to at first but knew he had two apparently a few years back while I was traveling with some friends girls trip my fiance and Mom had dinner together this isn't strange since he has been part of the family for so long sometimes mom and fiance would eat together at our place even if I was busy with sports or out I did the same with his parents somehow unclear how since he couldn't explain it well one thing led to another and they ended up sleeping together they felt guilty but apparently not guilty enough BC

they slept together two minus three more times using the excuse of meeting up to discuss how to tell me apparently when my mom got pregnant they stopped sleeping together and decided to not tell me since my fiance loved me and couldn't lose me and my mom didn't want to lose her daughter so here we are now with two of the most disgusting humans I obviously broke the engagement told my mom to never talk to me again and move in with a friend I feel bad for my brother since I really love him but I can't

be around him now I just can't I feel like it would remind me of all those times we talked about having kids I would be as baby mama only baby mama we talked about this future since we were 17 years old so I want to puke every time I think how I was actually talking care of his child with someone else while still having those dreams I want to puke update W I was not expecting so much support I'm still a mess not going to lie but after reading the comments I felt better like a

therapy mini session so again thank you all to the update as I was afraid I was indeed confronted near my office this week I knew this was coming but thought maybe I had more time my ex was the person to come find me yesterday Wednesday after finishing work and walking to where my car was parked my ex was sort of lingering waiting around I thought about running not going to lie but I guess in the moment I felt strong enough to get over with it instead of having that hanging above my head waiting to be

approached again he asked if we could talk and I said yes but I didn't feel like having the conversation over coffee like we were old friends it felt ridiculous so I told him to just talk right there we were in the streets but somehow it wasn't Crow but also not completely lonely felt right he basically said sorry 100 times and that I deserved better I agreed he said he did love me and that he still does but he would understand why I wouldn't want anything to do with him he said that if I did in

fact consider giving him a chance that he would go to therapy alone or together or both and that he would work hard to win my trust back back I told him it wasn't possible there was too much damage this sounds calm when I type it but in the moment things came out more with louder tone and harsher words anyways he did say that he is in the or will be it was a bit of a blur process of getting custody partly from my brother and that he in fact does want to be a dad to

him he said he does not want to be together with my mom that it was just a stupid mistake sure bc4 to five times mistake is just a random thing he couldn't explain why he did it in the first place I think he doesn't even know himself I asked if he cheated with someone else before he said no not sure if to believe it but he sounded honest I asked why he didn't come clean and he said that after he did the deed he always felt panicked and it hits him that he could lose me

and he just didn't want to I told him it was meant to be found out that what was his plan to have my brother around and ignore their relationship forever he said he didn't think far enough and that he was basically going with the idea one day at the time type of survival I asked him if he felt that my mom said Ed him he said it was Mutual which made me want to puke again I asked if he has any contact with my mom since I found out he saides but mostly about my brother

didn't elaborate more and I didn't press for more info on that he said he told his parents the day before or the day before that not sure moan Tuesday about everything the parents were not happy but they are glad to start building now a relationship with my brother their grandkid honestly all of this felt like a punch in my stomach I don't know why the parents wanted to contacted me but he told them to wait till he approached me first hence why he was here I said if he started or thought about the custody before

I found out and he said no but what I found out was like the push he needed great seems I helped him get his [ __ ] together uck and this past week he was arranging all of that mess that's why he hasn't tried to see me before he sounded and looked defeated but the whole thing made me besides sad angry I was mainly depressed before but now I'm furious I feel like he is still in an okay place and he isn't paying for his actions Beyond me leaving him he will have my brother his

parents and others and move on with his life while I lost everything I hate him we parted ways not on a happy note and I told him to never get near me again I was done he asked me to see my brother still but I was important to him and tried to guil trip me and it worked but I still think I can't I don't know much about my mom and really hope she doesn't come find me anytime soon BC I'm fuming right now and won't be able to handle it I will be contacting my

family and friends and finally doing the blasting today I think is about time and after my talk with him I got the extra push I needed update two I first posted on my family's FB group we share this is from my mom's family side I used inspiration of what you all suggested in my last post and said something aroon D the lines of I want to communicate to you all that my wedding with X has been permanently canceled since I found out that my mom name and my ex name had in the last few years

a sexual relationship which resulted in the birth of my little brother name I had no clue of any of this and I found out about it last week I won't have moving forward a relationship with name mom and ex name for obvious reasons I would appreciate your understanding and I felt it was only fair to let you know of the situation since I value transparency and honestly above all I also included a screenshot of my mother's message what I said to her once I found out in a message she managed to write back before I

blocked her didn't open the message till before the blasting I didn't want to hear read her and be persuaded it exploded I had family reaching out via text and calling the whole day after the blasting I would say most were very supportive and I could tell they were just shocked there were a few neutral and some suspicious that it wasn't the whole story and maybe I misunderstood my grandparents were in the maybe you misunderstood category which it wasn't surprising since my mom is super close to my grandparents and like I said before my mom was

always a good mom so no red flags I will be moving with a cousin that is more like a sister to me I haven't reached out to her previously BC I knew once she knows everyone would that's why I went to my friend's place my cousin is devastated on my behalf and offered I live with her and her two kids until I can get my feet on the ground I accept it and will be moving next week I'm a bit afraid this will give my mom an easier access to me but I can't stay at

my friend's place forever I then proceeded quickly to post a similar message from I we share most of our friends since high school and local University friends on Instagram I created a close friend story and tagged most of them too this went sore te of viral in our friend group actually one of my friends sent me my Reddit post and asked if this was me I confirmed they were also shocked and speechless they never thought my ex would even remotely do anything like this they said he was crazy about you oh well apparently he went

overboard on the crazy part the group of friends is divided ATM some are completely on my side and some are thinking it isn't the whole truth I told everyone that reached out that if they don't believe me to ask their friend if he is asking for custody of my little brother that kind of shut them up for now my ex deleted his social media apparently also my ex's parents called me like I guess they would they were kind to me and were very sorry about everything I got the feeling they are also overwhelmed and very

disappointed however it was clear they will be supporting their son they are very upset at my mother and don't want anything to do with her but not sure how that will work with my little brother and everything else they tried to give me info about the custody and what is my ex up to now but I shut that down quickly and told them I don't want any info I want to move on I also asked them to not reach out in the near future that I needed distance especially if they will be supporting my ex

he is living with his parents ATM also my ex and my mother after the blast were going nuts trying to reach out to me they tried calling my friend who she blocked them and reaching out from different numbers I had to put my phone on silence and ignore everyone however my mother sent me a long text from another number and that was a weird text she said that I was being cruel and that she didn't think she raised me that way she said she thought we had a better relationship than me blasting out laundry like

that without talking to her first that I didn't have the whole picture she did mention something that confused me she said in her long ass text T that the reason she slept with my ex is because he reminded him of my dad that it was grief that she didn't mean to use him to heal her pain but she wasn't strong enough I don't even know what that means like did she think that my ex looks physically like my dad or personality or what I have seen photos of my dad and well yay my ex isn't

super different but also not super alike I mean they share brown/ dirty blonde hair blue eyes white skin but that's not so uncommon I don't see what else I don't know that threw me for a loop and honestly makes me want to confront my mom just to know what the hell from all the things she could say I was not expecting that I'm holding on better I don't cry every hour or want to murder them but I'm still sad and upset and it just feels like it isn't my life that is a big joke or

a bad dream and I will wake up to my normal life I also need to really start planning my future and start applying for jobs in other cities or maybe check the possibilities abroad more seriously I might as for 2 to 3 days off work to really get my thought together and do some research I'm ter ified TBH I feel Frozen but I know I need to start moving commenter number one that Mom is hilarious I thought I raised you better I never in a million years thought you'd [ __ ] my boyfriend but here

we are commenter number two my petty ass would be sending her that commenter number three right the irony of her blaming you for airing laundry when she did that commenter number four the laundry wouldn't be dirty if you hadn't [ __ ] my boyfriend on it