fall apart because of broken relationships bosses and their staff go through stress because of broken relationships and have this cheerful place and people who plan to get married many times don't make it to the altar because of broken relationship and then there are those who do get married and they end up in divorce and that is trauma broken relationships and there those who are planning to marry again after divorce relationship problems what a struggle then there are those who are married and they seem to be doing well they're the ones they especially concerned about because
they don't tell the truth most of the time they parade a good face they pretend and all the while they are going through silent hell I would rather be single and frustrated than married and frustrated matter of fact I am convinced that the loneliest people in the world are not unmarried people the loneliest people in the world are married people who are trapped in a marriage is not working at least if you're lonely and you're not married at a filthy seats please serve at least if you're lonely and not married you could at least go
be friends with somebody and go up with them but here's my screen but when you're married and it ain't working you can't go and have ice cream with nobody if it's hell on earth matter of fact it's more important for you to not be married than to be married and wish you weren't so I'm very happy that we are going through this series I put up on the screen my wife and I our picture doesn't come out too good there but we really good-looking people I promise we'd be married for 25 years and this is
our renewal of vows photograph and we we've been enjoying 25 years of wonderful marriage I just celebrated the afternoon with so many wonderful friends my wife's 50th birthday don't tell I told you that both of us are fifty years old that means we have spent half of our lives at one another already and it has been so much fun being married but I know that it could have been held the secret of successful marriage is not love don't marry a person because you think you love them or they say they love you wrong reason love
does not make marriage successful now your grandmother and your grandfather stayed together but it wasn't because of love it was because of the culture at that time that we call respectful dependency she depended on him for her livelihood because fifty years ago women were not working outside the home and so it was very very understandable for a woman to remain with a man no matter how he treated her some you got stories that you can tell me about your grandmother putting up with so much and never leaving not because she didn't want to leave believe
me but because of the socio-economic cultural environment it was to her benefit to stay in spite of he also depended on her because he was not ready to bring up the children by himself and he was not going to clean up--not house so he depended on her she depended on him and therefore the unity was based on mutual respect and dependency not love however that has changed now hasn't it because now women are out working the same hours you working which means when they come home tired you tie it and they tie it now and
so your grandfather used to meet the food on the table but they change now you know food on the tables not unless you get Kentucky on the way back home having a warm bad run for you and your newspaper on the chair with your bedroom slippers reading at the at the lazy boy chair them days are over different world what's even more challenging is the relationship is no longer dependent on dependency because he could leave you now and put the kids up for adoption or he could keep them and let a daycare center bring him
up she could leave now and still keep her standard living because she probably making more money than you anyhow matter of fact when you manage she had a car already and perhaps a house and some real estate see things have changed so don't get this idea that relationships work because of love now love is important and you got all kinds of definitions of love we don't deal with that later on in about two weeks but but this is important to understand that that love does not make a successful relationship especially when you talk about marriage
and so I want to clarify some things I want to begin tonight with a scripture that I call it the pivot of Jesus's discussion on singleness marriage and divorce in one chapter he tells it all three of them he does with singleness he does with marriage and he does with divorce in one chapter turn your Bibles if you have them to the book of Matthew chapter 19 Matthew chapter 19 I keep referring back to this because I believe it is the New Testaments charter on relationships this passage is loaded with Jesus's secret wisdom on male-female
relationships women get along fine with women and men get along fine with men but when a woman and a man get together the potential for conflict goes up by 98 percent because nothing is as complicated as a male and a female now it seems like the female is a little bit more complicated than the male I used to think so I did my research and read a lot of books studied a lot of journals went a lot of seminars and I've come to the conclusion that that is not true they are both equally complicated they
are very different but they are complicated God made them that way but complication is an opinion because complication gets a definition from ignorance Saila something is only only complicated if you are ignorant about it am i right if you know how to cook grits it ain't complicated if you know how to make baked macaroni with cheese it's not complicated it's easy for you but for someone who doesn't know how to do it it's complicated so a male is really not complicated and a female is not complicated problem is you are ignorant wherever there is ignorance
there is experimentation so when we don't know something we experiment with it that means we keep taking these different tests they keep testing it to see what works or what doesn't work what might work might not work that's called an experiment because we don't know how on what the results are here we find Jesus being approached by some very educated religious leaders in Matthew 19 and these are actually professors of the law referring to the law of Moses which govern the lives of the people at the time and it also governed their social relationships Moses
laid down the law it was not a religious law that Moses created is important it was a law for national development so the laws that Moses laid down were for a nation not for a religion God gave Moses tremendous wisdom from above as to how people are to live together within the context of a social development a society how they are to live and then marry and then remain married God gave most all of these wonderful principles and here we find in this chapter 19 of Matthew those who claim to have been expert in that
law asking a question to the one who wrote the law let's read what they say verse 3 some of the Pharisees of the law lawyers came to him to test him and the act is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason they addressed him with a problem of divorce to understand the context of this verse you have to learn a little bit of hermeneutics you must go back and study the history and the environment in the culture this event is taking place 400 years after malachi dies malachi is
the last book in the Old Testament Malachi was the last prophet that God spoke to regarding the coming of the Messiah and malachi also introduces John the Baptist in his last chapter in malachi that considers now 400 years before this event here in matthew Malachi was alive in the time of Malachi the number one epidemic in society was divorced matter of fact some of you are looking at me funny so let's just take a look at this I saw them I seen Satan I could get that you know you might not know what I know
turn to Malachi go back to the last book in the Old Testament very interesting chapter 2 of Malachi I want to show you how horrible it was matter of fact during the time of Malachi a man could divorce his wife for some of the most silliest reason you could dream up for example if a man made a woman and she burned the food while cooking he would divorce her it was that bad if a woman went to bed with her husband and he approached her for intercourse and she did not advise him that she was
in administration period he divorced her it was dumb it was so bad I want to get a divorce during the time of Malachi if a man was having a meal with his friends men friends and she came in and stayed too long in the room it was silly but it was real so we find God prophesying through Malachi against this attitude of this destruction of marriages I won't read the whole thing I want to get to the spirit of it look at verse 13 God is proper sighing through Malachi he says another thing you do
you flood the Lord's ultimate ears you weep and you will because he no longer pays attention to your offerings or accepts them with pleasure from your hands you act why doesn't the Lord hear my prayer or receive my offerings you know he complaining why don't God answer my prayers I'm not getting any more miracles from God or whatever he says you ask why the answer it is because the Lord is acting as the witness between you and the wife of your youth underline that in other words God was at your wedding you thought it was
only the bridesmaids and the groomsmen that was witnesses he says what I was there and I witnessed you telling this woman you will love her on her only until you die and I heard you tell this man you will submit to him and being white him until you die he said I was present and I was taking notes with the next statement but you have broken faith with her your prayer depends on your vows before you get married remember now you are not married now think your prayers are getting answered easier when you get married
the prison you married could mess with your prayer life the Bible says if a husband and a wife are together repeated business he says if you are angry with your spouse God will not hear your breath so you ain't married now your prayers could be answered easily remember when you are marrying someone you are marrying a potential Pretender business because if you mad with your wife you cannot go in the next room and pray impossible because the scripture says when you come before God to offer your prayers and you know that someone has all against
you it says don't even offer your prayer go back in the next room make it right with them first see now right now you ain't married so you don't want to go in the next room - to make it right first all the married people smile at median of this smile and then as I'm talking about this heavy stuff here he said that's why I don't listen to your prayer watch this he says even though she is your partner underline a senior domestic servant I am really Old Testament here he says your wife is your
partner not your slave to wash dishes and iron shirt and cook food she's your partner partner means equal in status equal in contribution equal in value equal and work equal in substance which is your partner Shh old lady she's your partner but the last part and she is the wife of your what marriage covenant either you break faith with that verse 15 he tells us why he married you not as important here because we will read Matthew again you're gonna see he connects after this statement he says has not the Lord made them one who
made him one looking car was that your wedding or if you get married remember you don't need to send an invitation to God he shows up if you claim he is your Lord then he has a right to show up at the width and he said he is the Lord and he made you one in flesh as important Genesis chapter chapter 1 and chapter 2 talks about male and female and they chapter 2 it says for this course should a man leave his what mother and father and cleave unto his wife and the two shall
become one one flesh now in Malachi he's repeating it because I made you two in flesh very important and spirit keep reading because you are mine says the Lord let me tell you something marriage is not about you I want you think about this if you if you are married god only city you married for you you are married for him the God will give you a wife because of something he wants from you can I prove it just read it he says I made you one in flesh and spirit you are my own why
yes like Gaza not me either you know why he answers it he says because I was seeking godly seed you know why don't forget divorce because they got married if God married you you cannot get a divorce wife it's not about you or how you feel matter of fact God really ain't interested in you in marriage what the interested in with it righteously right you see the reason why God created marriage is to guarantee his future your children are more important to God than your feelings toward your husband in ISO a description of ice gradients
that make me angry chapter 7 it says if you live with an ungodly person stay with them is that no matter how they behave David them and I tell you I said so that the children might be sanctified you see it's not about you what we've done is we've made marriage about us whether am I happy am I satisfied am i comfortable do I still love him do I still love her do I still want to put up with this person do I like them personally do they do I like what I found out ai
ai ai it ain't about you you know why God loved Abraham I figured it out years ago I was but 18 years old when I figured out a revelation with Abraham God says Abraham this is found in a Genesis chapter 18 he said let me tell you something he said the reason why I love you and I will tell you secrets is because you will teach your children and your servants the commandments of the Lord in other words you are going to make your offspring righteous I'm going to be your God this is a little
secret below don't get nervous what this ok let me tell you something the more righteous you are if you're not careful you'll aplenty children now the reason is because God wants righteous seed so when you become a more righteous man I'm all righteous woman God begins to find a womb that guarantees the potential of righteous sea you read the next part it gets worse he says so god yourself in your spirit and do not break faith with the wife of your youth do not divorce her why it's not about you if you want to have
children as a married couple and you have a little child challenges you to do use this verse and go back and bring put it on God's alright god I am NOT ready to produce righteous children I am available you will conceive because this gives you a kingdom promise now with 16 feet of lovelyz I hate divorce says the Lord there's that verse you always wanted to find it there it is do you see why God hates divorce because you are meddling with his program for the future God's future isn't children and when you disrupt the
functioning of those children's incue bation within marriage you are meddling with the success of his program for the future that's why you must stay married this time it has to work ain't about you gosh I don't even don't even mention the word divorce today you know god is love but boil in love tells you it hate something gosh that must be terrible to that love there's a deep reason why he hates you and now you know why because the only hope God has for the future the world is planning the scenes and the children and
when you disrupt that you are interfering with his will and his purpose in the earth that's why God really caused a homosexuality an abomination because it disrupts the program so don't get involved in all these other discussions about it it's this disruption he hates that also because it disrupts the program there's no way that God ever planned for two men to bring up a child it cannot work the child will come out imbalanced and temporarily insane and perhaps permanently damaged psychologically because God's program is for the unique inherent female idiosyncrasies to contribute to the development
of China and for the strange uniqueness of a male to contribute to develop another child so the child comes out balanced can't happen with two women I hate divorce says the Lord the God of Israel were 16 treated and I hate a man's covering himself with violence as well as with his garment says the Lord Almighty I hate divorce and I hate a man trying to cover up the reason why he should do it you know we always got to say well you know I don't love her anymore cuz we talk about covenants have no
feelings when you sign a contract there is no feeling in that paper I don't love them anymore Godse so what you're trying to cover up your selfish desire to be free again by this vein leaf explanation he says go back and consider why marriage in the first place children's sake now I'm talking to a room that has divorced people in it remarried people in it and some of you can't wait to get there whatever state you are in as of this minute you know better the cliff okay God forgives your past but you don't forgive
your future you create that so walk in the light that you have the scripture says once you get light he expects you to live according to what you learn you shouldn't have come to this seminar tonight in the name of Jesus clap right there good place to clap praise God he should have stayed home but I'm glad you came anyhow amen amen I say Amen Matthew 19 let's go back in a crisis dealing with this issue now I want you to see what's happening in Malachi guess what that's four hundred years before Jesus came so
by the time he came it was so much worse that the religious leaders who when charged the law gave up so they said should a man divorce a woman for any and every reason but a time Jesus came I read an article some time ago in my university study it says a woman would be the boss from a husband for sneezing at the meal now that's bad that means when you want to sneeze I don't know what you do as a woman you got to run from the table or something I mean nature it's crazy
the batter was jesus answered haven't you read that at the beginning of creation the creator made them male and what female he ignored the question went back to the male and female issue he went back where to the beginning and that's important they were dealing with a symptom thought he was concerned he was addressing the problem he said the problem is not divorced the divorce is a symptom of something else it wrong now he's a manufacturer so he knows the whole product he says look I never created divorce is not God's product garden writing about
it Moses invented divorce he said but in my manufacturers manual it got the Creator he began with male and female he created with one male and one female and they were both unmarried and that's what you begin but you began with a male and you begin with a female you know when I wrote the books on male and female you know they became best-selling books thank God people are reading them and I'm happy to hear that you know all over the book stores are being people gathers in the bookstores and I'm happy to see that
but the reason why I focus on them separately is because you see the average male don't notice be a male and then the average woman who know what am I supposed to be and then vice versa a females don't know if he was supposed to be so she picks up for when I'm mama taught her and her mama didn't know so we keep generationally passing on ignorance so we keep getting the same results in every generation and then a male doesn't know what a female supposed to be and so he got his own cut from
his mama we got trouble now Jesus look you began with the wrong male and the wrong female and you're trying to get God's results which is a good marriage now a marriage is God's product not divorce and so he says look you are trying to get success with another man's product without following his ingredient specifications he began first with a male and a female he focused on male and female first he didn't focus on marriage let me make it announcement here and this shocked me when I figured it out I was 16 years old I
figured about 16 years old very young I discovered that God did not begin the human race with a couple go back and read your Bible we've been taught that the human family is built on marriage that is not true that's why crises look from the beginning he didn't say God marry them it says male then female then Home Guard joint it is a process you focus on the unmarried state first let me tell you something we keep thinking that when we marry someone they will improve big mistake you get what you married if she is
lazy before the order there's a lazy woman in a white dress walking down the aisle to ward you brother nothing happened in the church no change nothing if he is me and stingy like to keep his money tight selfish you got a tuxedo with selfishness on the inside and you wanna sleep with selfishness and sin genus that night nothing happens at the altar so what you got to do is solve all that before you decide to go to the altar now tell me playing are you stingy let me know now try to prepare myself I
don't want no surprises in the middle of this thing you know and that's why you should not rush into marriage the Bible says be sober sydnor's and the word sober doesn't mean you were drinking the word sober means objectively thinking that means you analyze calculate you you systematize scrutinize you you you dissect then you respect dissect effects effects negative and when you are satisfied that you know the sinews and the ligaments of this person's personality and and how they act and the pressure that's sober you see when two people are in love they never tell
the truth hey why it is not in your best interest to tell the truth if you I love with somebody check them under pressure you ain't married right so you say I can pick you up at five o'clock from work yoram orginal and guess what some apples and you come late 5:30 matter of fact you should try this oh this is the skills i'ma say it any other receiving come late intentionally and then start taking notes see how they act under disappointment why that's what you gonna live with rest of your life babies I think
it's time in a corner all this just coming outside yes whoa I didn't know you was my busy in the test the text pressure pressure go to restaurant and pretend you forgot your money all my goodness you have any change I'm just watch mail and thing if they go back and check the mail a female versus the lowest denominator of human relationship in social development is not marriage its singleness it's better for you to study a person while the unmarried single and decide before that whether you can live together because after marriage is too late
too much trauma under Amma sometimes you got to decide you know I don't know if it's going to work and be honest because marriage is not a joke we've made it very light it's not that's why we got so many hurting people in our society I mean they mad at everybody including God because their relationship didn't work out and they can't believe God they didn't follow his recipe oh by the way when Christ finish this seminar the seminar was so heavy I won't go through it but let's read with disciple said at the end of
the seminar because he talked about you know single male and female and put his reason should a man leave his mother and father and cleave unto his wife verse 5 the two shall become what one flesh there's that term again so they are no longer two but one they are no longer two but one one that includes salaries so you can handle one okay before you get married you got $50,000 in the bank and she got 200 in the bank two hundred dollars fifty thousand seeing from know let's reverse it she gets fifty thousand you
got two hundred see I'm not even getting married what you gonna be side here problems right away I saved up all of my money as a single woman that's my account and I labored and I started I just been myself and you only got two hundred and that's all you're bringing but let me tell you something see I'm sorry one you're making a deal let's make a deal I keep a fifty keep your two hundred we asleep together fun but don't fool with my fifty lead us that's not a merit that's an arrangement and you
thought you're ready for marriage and see some of y'all ain't got nothing like broke howdy young couple come to me a couple years ago stop and they won't get married the friends call me you know they won't get married it's an Alice to them i accent5 credit with your government go back to school they got nothing nothing plus nothing leaves nothing here but you gotta have something if you want to be with me two shall become one I mean to marry someone you got to be willing to take your 50 thousand and submit it not
to the person but to the institution of marriage it becomes property of the institution what a sacrifice some folks getting ready for that we're seven no we're six so they are no longer two but one therefore what God joined together let no man put what asunder that means lawyer don't let no lawyer put asunder if God join you together and he's referring to what the male and female in the bikini so you got to go back and make yourself a beginning male and go back and make yourself a beginning female studies and study Adam before
the fall and try and get back into that state and you can that's why my books are so intense on this because if you don't get the male and female back to the beginning you cannot expect the results the manufacturer promised I tell you on the last session then we we have related like maybe have cookbooks you know be like cookbooks you like buy cookbooks on one picture the page I like the pictures in the government putting food the most beautiful cities in the world I cook book pictures come on talk to me lowered up
mostly everything finish a nice baked everything great on the other page is a whole lot of writing not edible at all and most of us who want the picture without the recipe the question was here's a question they were looking at the picture and they said why did the cake fall why is this bread dumb God why does this cake collapse Jesus well in a mystery let's go back to the recipe page no no no no no no we as well not only they talked back to the beginning final what you baked us with don't
blame the cake and then wrong with this cake so you got to study the yeast the egg you use it because you see I figured out a long time ago eggs are more important than omelettes am i right marriage is an omelet it is only as good as the eggs no matter how much of a wonderful marriage you want you dreaming about it and no one created a more perfect marriage and a single woman I tell you I tell you women oh Jesus a single woman got a fairy tale mind perfect man perfect house perfect
children perfect knockoff time perfect walk in the park together every evening perfect prayer time in the morning on time perfect praying for the meal with the children around the table perfect family altar every day perfect life but she has it in her mind but you don't study the eggs I told y'all I didn't experiment years ago I did it I did this right now forget experiment I I put a hole in one of the eggs and I left it outside the refrigerator for five days it was stink it stunk then I took a fresh head
of the frigerator and I made an omelet out of the two eggs and I fried it my mom would kill me it stunk the whole house on the armlet was so stink obviously you know it could need it but it was my experiment mike phirman proved one thing actually two things one some are all good the good egg is the bad egg will always win well I know he don't go to church I know he don't read his Bible I know he ain't a Christian I know he don't study the word I know when he's
a nice guy he nicer than some of the Christians I know well I know she don't go to any church you know but she cool she fine man she good-looking who she cute 36 25:37 about a PhD and nothing shop lady cute don't worry faster after we get married I'm gonna get her to come to church boy we'll see how sweet your egg is now all pastor miles I know he can come to church after we get married he done telling me he coming I'll now forget what I heard some years ago and that is
this if he didn't change to get you he won't change to keep you case closed bad egg bad omelette simple the second thing I learned from this one is is that once you make an omelet you can never get eggs again so what you got to do is seriously think about who you should crack with before you you cup steadies the yolk before you crack in other words if they got a crack in the character you can have yourself a stinking omelet work on them and by the way I discovered something you know you got
to study people's background we don't do this you know but you got to do that study the stock they came from that and that set my sound a little bit objective but it is it should be that doesn't mean you can married a person because he based on that background with determine how much work you got to do and how much you have to put up with I'm saying something deeper you think get it t this is important study where they coming up are they coming from a family where there's a lot of health harassment
violence brokenness loud boisterous hatred history of wife abuse and alcohol think about the history it doesn't mean you can't marry them but you got to understand that you got more work to do you might a person if they group it out of a functioning family you got work to do see if you married a guy who had no father even are you going to be his mother because he has become so close to his mother he ain't looking for no wife you think he does he wants another mother and you don't want to be no
mother you want to be wife fight start already but my mother always think a my mother I'll say I needed and I get you right right her try to go now listen tell me don't you compare see and then chocolate how would you understand as he's coming out of a coaches so you can understand okay if that's true then you got to agree okay I'll live with that and then I'm going to work on it so I got it maybe try get you know a couple of men friends to be his friend so they can
help to Daddy in you know deal with that issue because he never had that image of a father and you can be it as a wife so you got stress in the relationship didn't study where the air came from very serious I remember Abraham is a smart fella Abraham's son grew up around ok tides my Sun Devil wife now he livin in a village right all these girls around he told the circuit look there's one another village down the street watching not why he choose in stock from Holland you stock either there's a village down
the street where my kinsmen are people who are like me things like me get the same standard of mentoring like Nikita go to that area there he says and find a woman for my son if she comes out of back stop she come already with some stuff my sending her too much work some of you thought you married someone getting married and you married their mother you married their father and instead of spending time enjoying each other you spending time baby in the person frustrating check the egg before you crack don't make omelet before you
are satisfied that you will deliver the yolk there's no perfect people in the world but at least get as close as possible before you crack minimize the work could you grow into old to be preoccupied trying to bring somebody up they supposed to be up already you're quiet man when I see you don't bring nobody up you mad you lose adults now you want to live it in a dog not a child some folks in here 50 years old are still growing up and then they marry you or you marry them and then you wonder
why is this so difficult then difficult you just didn't check the stock your marriage is only as good as your singleness that's what Jesus was saying he said love divorce is only possible when the combination you use was defective my suggestion to you as an individual whether you are married or not is to spend the next six months improving yourself by good book by all of mine and read it for the first time go to seminars to improve yourself go to the bookstore and buy quality books to help you develop your personality and your communication
skills and your ability to deal with human nature and behavior size not always develop yourself I'll tell you when you improve yourself automatically all your relationships will improve you'll be amazing work on your egg write this down please and tell you our single you are not ready for marriage it was before listen to me it's very important you know Jesus was addressed with the issue of divorce he ignored it he said known as a mother divorce he said the problem is the male and female focus on the individuals first so it's more important for you
to become totally single than for you to be married please read my book on singleness and marriage we got a new edition out please study it again read it again don't assume you remember anything in it whether you are married or not married that book is for you we got a whole series of takes on it develop your singing that isn't single the word single is interesting where the word single means to be separate unique and hold write it down we're thinking it doesn't mean to be alone God said it's not good for man to
be alone he never said single because singing alone are different alone is a word in the Hebrew which means extra it means to be one of your kind he said not good for mine to be the only one of his kind and that was true because there was no one to relate to God Adam can relate to animals and birds and fish he named them but he couldn't relate to them so God's not good mind to be exclusive or the one of his own kind I would make him another just like him so God made
him another man but he made it a female a wound man a man with the womb saying so when Adam saw her Adam's response is correct I don't says wow this is boon just like my bone structure I'm fresh just like my flesh there was no here he stuff no skills no feathers of the first time he ever saw an animal scales feathers and here he said wow this is just like me he said for this research of the man leaves its mother and father he had knit and cleave unto his wife who look like
this and the two shall become one flesh he found wanted to like himself however Adam was already single with his singles he was separate he was unique oh the question is are you those readings to be separate means that you don't need nobody to be somebody o me prove it Adam didn't even know he needed anybody read the Bible Genesis chapter 3 so 2 verse 18 and 15 in each other 15 go through the man put him in the garden blessed will working all that stuff in verse 18 God says it is not good God
said it is God said it is not good but Adam I don't even care he never asked God hey what about me no he was completely preoccupied with his purpose naming them animals do you know dominating that garden and and that's what qualifies you to get married is when you don't need to be see it all he could dream about his marriage you gotta check yourself man he just walk around all day I want to be magic I want to be married I won't even hear you from here I won't have him out what he's
going to try another one I want to be married lord please lo no give me a prophecy brother I need a prophecy you pray for me Vitamix is this is trio keep yer possess you're not old unique means that you've discovered an originality in yourself that you know is irreplaceable please buy this take matter good stuff to be unique means you discovered a uniqueness about you that is so original that you know there ain't no duplicate anywhere all of a sudden your value goes up in your own eyes oh I am so apartment unique unique
means I got something to offer that doesn't exist anywhere else in the world and you will be a fool to ignore it unique so uniqueness means I don't need your opinion or adulation or approval the feel worthy or assets marriage free but most give a get married so they can feel value that's why they get rich so much when someone doesn't give them approval stuff you know why I married my wife because she ignored me it's the truth when I was in high school every girl was fooling with me you know why I was famous
some of y'all know my history they become water won't talk to me and trust me this woman didn't even look at me I said who is how dare her not look at what is wrong with him don't she know who I am she ignored me all through high school so I got mad and Merida you keep throwing ourselves on a man I'm glad to keep running why you are a parasite at least looking to place your sucker on somebody whoa glory hallelujah the beauty of being a single person is that you don't need anybody to
be somebody you are somebody all by yourself I love it when you bring that into a marriage whoo that's beautiful stuff let me close with a an illustration what it was a demonstration it's my mouth and real famous illustration can you come in please you on TV so smile smile Oh them both just like that okay I want to show you the danger of getting married to an unsinkable oh by the way let me just clarify on marriage and single are different if this gets a little confusing it can understand the difference is very important
see most most unmarried people think they are single if you look at the definition even some married people are not single yet that's why the marriage is so full of tension stress because the wife or the husband is so lacking worth they almost up on the other person why you leaving me you can't go away I need you why you need me I am no one without you and if you leave me I'll dies if all those statements are pleased but they are not single next time you people who are married began to feel like
you want to get married another feeling come on you remember you don't confuse unmarried with single what you want to do is to be single before you get married and if you get married still try to be single very important don't confuse the two let me explain why it is important understand or two because plate a minute I can explain it because you see if you believe that single and unmarried are the same then you'll believe that the solution to your loneliness is marriage but if you get married because you are not single and you
feel you need someone to complete you then you are taking into the marriage an uncivil life which means you afraid a formula for disaster already it multiplies your loneliness nothing can magnify loneliness more than marriage I speak as a counselor for 33 years and the loneliest people I have ever met are not unmarried people they are married people you folks are married you don't know loneliness you don't know routines to live in a house to sleep in separate rooms you don't know that kind of loneliness to live in the same bed and sleep back-to-back and
don't talk you don't know loneliness to live in the same house but don't speak for months coming home at different times to avoid one another no leanness you know dogma I'll show you let me show you what they would they say it let me show you turn imagine 18 let me share the conclusion of this how dangerous is it was very serious no laughing at me Father forgive you boys 10 out loud please then that is come on Matt Matthew 19 verse 10 though then the disciples said to him if this is the situation between
a husband and a wife it is Danah I rest my case it says my goodness if that's the qualification for marriage better to stay by yourself think of it all right I got to show you all this is an interesting scenario here I always try to show this because we get this idea about relationships okay I'm going to show you yeah that's good oh I told him now thank you all right this is a picture of what you've been taught in your culture that's it right there it's gone 50/50 marriage that's why you used to
turn my better please meet my better half my better oh yeah she's my better half and he is my better half so you spend rest of your life going around trying to find someone to complete you only problem is after you marry that person and you complete you got a problem in the marriage here so the person says give me myself back so they take themselves back and now we got a marriage retention you married me take care of me so why don't you fulfill me now she's lonely empty she said baby my mother teach
me that do I get not even here see that he said are you woman you crazy give me myself back no no you think I'm crazy you fulfilled me you know nothing you better give myself back in yeah I'll tell you what take yourself and go [Applause] there's no such thing as a 50/50 marriage vanyo muta let me show you what God intended it was Adam a little bit ice inside to cool them off there you know how many Mattie's I was it that's a single person full no they are know why they are know
what they are know where they're going know what they can do and then they meet one another so you meet somebody who knows who they are why they are where they going what they can do and why they're here whoa what a combination to me now when you meet that person watch this they decide everybody design see is a decision because there's no there's no lack there's no lack so any decision is a decision we decide that we are going to enter a covenant together to combine these powerful assets to impact the world together as
a partner with a partner now watch this if you notice if he gives some of himself it's what overflow if she gives him some of here herself it's overflow in other words the relationship being based on what I could get from you what you could take from me and give me passages and this trade you know you give it as I'll give you that it's pure agape this person doesn't give because they need something very important they give because they decide to give this person doesn't give because they try and manipulate the other person to
get something they don't need anything what a beautiful nose I'll miss next session because we're gonna be talking about how to get yourself to that point where you become so secure that if anybody joins with you in life you are an asset not a deficit thank you very much this is me thank you very much oh he tastes so good well my time is gone I hope you learned something tonight give me a big hand [Applause]
