hi my name's Adam Tapp and I had a near-death experience February 28 2018 where I was electrocuted to death and I was dead for around 11 and a half minutes before being resuscitated and this is my story so I know I've been a paramedic for 20 years now and I do a lot of woodworking which I find cathartic and it's a form of I guess emotional release to some extent and I was doing sort of a technique of wood etching called electric device where you take a microwave Transformer and basically strip every possible safety feature
from it and hook it up to a wall 110 volts ac and it basically turns it into 12 000 volts DC and this highly dangerous machine basically etches these interesting Coral patterns and so I was with a good friend of mine and we had had a beer and we were sitting by my shop and we were etching this piece of wood and conveniently enough he had taken a high voltage safety course about two weeks before which is from family convenient for a number of different reasons and I remember I was talking to him and I
was moving the electrodes one by one and it just arced into my hand and it was just this snap from reality it was almost overwhelming it was like this intense intense level of absolute pain like every single cell in my body was being pulled into pieces and it was overwhelming to a point where I didn't understand what was happening it was almost as if everything had shut down it was just everything in my vision was these vertical cylinders of our sort of this iridescent green that went up and down forever I remember trying to focus
a thought amongst the energy and I think it was like I'm being electrocuted and then I think I thought I'm falling and I felt like I was falling for ages and then it was just like waking up from a nap someplace that had always been it was this perfect Inky Blackness it was almost like deep space where it was like there's lights in a distance like these twinkling stars to some extent but it was just this perfect Blackness it was like I was seen spherically from a single point outwards like I had just become a
single point of awareness and I wasn't Adam I wasn't dead I wasn't anything I was just perfect like absolute contentment and I was just in this space for I like there was no sense of consistency with anything it was just simply existing as awareness and then I felt sort of this frequency start washing over me and it was it was like this fractal patterns and it was like gasoline on water this rainbow effect that was iridescent to some extent and it was just this juxtaposition of thoughts and feelings and emotions and I felt myself sort
of being holed into pieces and deposited into everything it was like basically becoming fabric of the universe and it was absolutely perfect like there was no fear and there was nothing this was just the natural progression of what every single one of us is going to do which is back to the source back to this infinite Consciousness or infinite complexity and then all of a sudden I started being electrocuted again and at the time I didn't understand what was happening but in hindsight it was me being defibrillated that was defibrillated twice I was in an
eventual fibrillation arrhythmia which is basically the heart spasming and so I was different related and the defibrillation takes 0.5 seconds but this was this was like minutes if that can even say that of being electrocuted again and then all of a sudden it stopped and now I'm aware that I'm Adam that I'm dead that I should have been electrocuted and now I'm in this VoIP I'm just a being and it was a really long time that I was just there maybe coming to terms with who and what I was and myself and my place in
the universe and I started being electrocuted again which again was the second defibrillation and I remember myself being pulled perhaps out or some variation of that and then I think I'd maybe at one point acknowledge the smell of burnt flesh which would have been my hands my finger was burned off and my third degree burns all over this hand and I was in a coma for about eight hours which was fine for me but problematic for everyone else who thought I was brain dead and you know I remember waking up in the ICU and I
was Innovative into my lunges and I had an interosseous needle drill bits by shoulder bone like my first thought was how long has it been I remember like sort of being able to write something down my hands are all bandaged and you know they said it's like eight hours or something and it blew my mind like I If someone had told me it had been five years or a decade I would have been completely on point with that but what was unique about the experience is after I was extubated and you know hugs from everyone
and whatnot I remember like looking at myself and I could smell myself and not body odor in the sense of need to put deodorant on but my natural pheromonal smell that we all have because we're primates we just go to Great Lengths to hide it but I was so hyper aware of my smell and the texture of my skin and I felt so deeply that I just got downgraded from this crazy supercomputer to this Commodore 2000 this pixelated screen and that stuck with me for a long time like it was it was like months of
just feeling this morning I remember saying to my wife like this isn't real but this isn't real like who's a little alarmed by that and but eventually it just came back to the acceptance of being in my body and being in this space but you know I was left with this overwhelming sense that this is just the stage this is simply an evolution of Consciousness this is simply transient where we exist right now and you know there wasn't any anthromorphic figures or people in robes it was just simply going back to the source of everything
which is this infinite Consciousness that permeates everything you know simply the space between subatomic particles as consciousness and you know I didn't want to read anything about other people's near-death experiences but I wanted to change my interpretation of what had happened to me but you know I had the traditional photophobia where I was going on Corey Hart wearing sunglasses on all times a day like it was even the light inside a house which is almost be blinded to me another interesting thing too is that the burns on my hands actually accelerated healing I was told
I would need skin grafts but in a very short period of time everything revascularized and started healing which was interesting I can't necessarily State that's a consistency amongst people with mtes but it was very much this process of getting used to what I have to call a monkey suit now because it very much is it's a very it's a limitating filter in which I currently existed and the limitations of my biology but at the same time it's so deeply beautiful that I can simply just experience emotions and feelings but the one thing that I took
from all this was in that place when I was devoid of a body I was very very highly aware of the amount of anxiety the amount of weird emotions that riff and sift through us on any any specific moment the biological mechanisms the hormones that make us do things it was a state of absolute tranquility and it was again it was one of those things when I was back in my body of just feeling these emotions come up and not necessarily knowing what to do with them because it seemed that I just completely disconnected from
everything that is as biological mechanism of the atom and now was back into this fold you know I started doing psychedelics subsequently afterwards and I feel that the very nature of death experiences is so integrally related to these secular compounds and dimethyltryptamine in our bodies and our brains responsible for dreaming and death and I feel that the experience itself has made me so deeply spiritual you know I think I was superficially spiritual before in the sense that we just privately use the word you know without necessarily understanding the deeper meaning behind it but it's almost
like experiencing infinite Consciousness and becoming part of it and then coming back to this and still having that awareness the awareness that we're just part of something that is so profoundly complicated so infinitely perfect so I think something to take away from all of this or something that I've noticed has changed in me and my personality is my Village is simply appreciate a moment as opposed to applying meaning to everything or plans or languages is simply able to be in a space and appreciate what's going on you know I know it's not like my daughter
a lot just simply being in a space and enjoying every moment of it and you know one thing I also want to mention in this is the similarities to psychedelic experiences and being dead you know one could arguably suggest that my death experience was just an endogenous dimethyltryptamine release which is commonly referred to as nndmt and subsequent psychotic experiences have been death they've been versions of this they've arguably been more profound than death actually was and I think that at the end of the day the one thing that I would say to someone if they
asked me what I took from this or the advice associated with it is that death is quite possibly the most natural thing that happens being dead was easy it was perfect it was beautiful you know it's being alive that's difficult and hard and I think that death in itself is just simply a transition it's becoming infinite it's becoming the fabric of the universe it's being perfect you know one could argue that we're all perfect already but we just refuse to acknowledge that and being deaf was just absolute perfection and I think that's you know the
common fear that we all have is our mortality and it's understandable it's genetically motivated you know if we didn't have a fear of death we want to be a species that we are today but again death just was simply perfection it was becoming everything and it was perfect and I think that it's made me spiritual in a sense you know I think before I was spiritual but superficially whereas now it seems that spirituality has taken on a very significant depth in me where I viscerally know what we all are and where we're all going and
that does alleviate a lot of the fear that we all exist with on a day-to-day basis and yeah I guess to summarize everything I have was being dead was a state of absolute perfection [Music]
