I am 30 years old my name is Sarah I have a son named Jake he is 10 years old I am married for the second time my husband's name is John he is 38 years old we have a baby together our baby is 1-year-old we live in a small town I met John 6 years ago I was 24 years old he was 32 years old we met by phone I liked him immediately we talked on the phone for many weeks before we met in person when we finally met we were both happy we started to
date right away John had never been married before he didn't have children either I had been married before but my first marriage didn't work out I had a son from my first marriage but I felt good with John he made me happy John told me about his past he told me he had a girlfriend before me he lived with her for 4 years they never got married John said he was the one who left her he also told me about a girl he loved before he went to the Army me they were very young only
16 or 17 years old John said she was his first love he loved her very much but when he went to the Army she didn't wait for him she left him he was very sad his mother told me that Jon never stopped thinking about her I was curious about the this girl I wanted to know more about her John didn't talk much about her but sometimes I could see in his eyes that he missed her I wanted to ask him questions but I didn't want to make him upset I didn't want to talk about the
past too much I wanted to focus on our future together one day John invited me to his apartment I was excited to see where he lived I went to his apartment with my son Jake when I entered the apartment I was shocked the apartment was old and needed a lot of work there were no repairs the furniture was old I asked John why is your apartment like this don't you work he didn't answer me he just said that he lived with his parents for many years and didn't have time to fix the apartment later I
heard from Jon's mother that he used to drink beer with his friends a lot he would spend time sitting on a bench in the park drinking beer he also brought different girls to his apartment they were only there for one night John said nothing to me about this I was surprised when I heard this he had a card from his first girlfriend that she gave him when he went to the Army he kept it as a memory one day on New Year's Eve John and I decided to go to the city center we wanted to
see the lights and enjoy the holiday when we arrived in the city John saw someone I didn't understand what was happening at first he walked away from me and Jake he went to stand Far Away by himself I looked and saw that he was watching a woman she was with her husband she looked very familiar it was John's First Love he was watching her and he seemed sad I felt strange why was he standing alone why was he watching her he didn't talk to me for a few minutes I was confused I thought he still
loved her I thought he cared more about her than About Me Maybe I was just imagining things but it didn't feel right I started to think about everything maybe John's still loved his first girlfriend maybe that's why he was never happy with me I tried to talk to him about it I asked him do you still love her do you think about her often John got angry he said you are imagining things you are not thinking straight but I wasn't sure he kept talking about her sometimes why did he care so much about her why
did he keep asking about her life I didn't understand John also talked to her brother he asked him about her life he wanted to know what she was doing where she worked and who she was with this made me upset why did he care so much much about her I didn't know what to think Jon's mother also talked about his first love she said JN loved her so much he was very sad when she left him every time she said this it made me feel bad it was like I didn't matter to JN it was
like I was not as important as his first love I began to feel lonely I wanted Jon to focus on our family on our life together but it felt like he was always looking back at the past Jon started to act distant he didn't talk to me much he didn't smile as much as he used to I wondered if he was thinking about her I tried to talk to him again I said John do you still love her but he said you are imagining things again I didn't know what to believe I wanted to believe
him but sometimes it felt like he was hiding something I thought about everything I thought about my life with John I loved him but it felt like he didn't love me as much as he loved her maybe he would never stop thinking about her maybe he would never love me the way he loved her I didn't know if I could live with that I didn't know if I could live with a man who was always thinking about his past I didn't want to feel like I was second best I didn't want to feel like I
was not enough for him I wanted to feel loved and important I wanted to know that I was the one he cared about the most but I didn't feel that way anymore after thinking for a long time I made a decision I decided to talk to JN one more time I asked him do you want to stay with me or do you want to go back to her JN was surprised by my question he said what do you mean I love you but I didn't believe him anymore I didn't feel loved I didn't feel important
to him I knew it was time for me to make a change I decided to leave John I told him that I could not live like this anymore I told him that I needed to be with someone who loved me someone who cared about me and her family it was hard but I knew it was the right choice I couldn't live in the shadow of his first love I couldn't be with a man who would always love someone else more than me if you enjoy the story please like subscribe and share
