here's the thing about motivation and generally achieving anything in life whether it be weight loss or getting that guy that you really like to text you back or anything really and that is motivation and achievements got nothing to do with how much you can make yourself strive towards it or go towards it or how you can act in front of the guy or how you can make your husband chase you again it's got more to do with your self-concept with how you see yourself in the beginning I went into a space in my life for
about two and a half years since I had my child and the global situation and the foot surgery where I started seeing myself and my self-concept became one of somebody who um eats junk food doesn't exercise as much hasn't got strong will all these things yes I'm still myself and the basis of my personality is still there but self-concept is not necessarily personality where there is motivation on one side and there is self-concept on the other the difference is this uh if I want to let's take the the eating situation if I want to lose
weight or get fit or healthier let's just say healthier as a blanket term motivation would be I am ready I can do this the Morning Has Come you know I cannot eat that junk food I've got to get out of the house and work out I have to this I have to become from what I am in the moment to something else and the bridge between those two things is this motivation what happens on day seven when motivation wanes somebody says something that brings you out of that motivation somebody hurts your feelings you have an
argument with your spouse motivation cannot be sustained for months and months and months on end so the bridge from who you are right now to who you want to be essentially can be snipped with a mere scissory snip of the of of you just waning for a minute so you cannot cross that bridge while self-concept is you deciding that even though you might not be healthy right now or you might not be eating well right now or you might have not done so for two years Suddenly It's almost like you jump into somebody else's body
the you that you decide to be the self-concept of Who You Are is a healthy girl who loves healthy food and knows how good it makes her feel and suddenly you've jumped into this body that your bad habits have created and you don't even have to motivate yourself anymore because your self-identity is that of that girl who wants a healthy life who wants a healthy future and who is healthy right now there is no motivation needed there is no bridge to be crossed you are in that identity right now so when you have that argument
with your spouse or you have that bad day or you see that chocolate bar because your identity is of that girl who doesn't want that that's not going to serve her she's got a higher purpose she's you know doing this for her kids to be a role model or she wants to create an amazing career for herself where her body is needs to be at its prime whether it's for the looks let's not deny it or whether it's for the optimal use of your actual body she's no longer interested in satiating herself with junk food
why because she's not that person and every time I've achieved everything anything in life it's not been through motivation it's been through self-concept how do you achieve that self-concept it can apply to relationships too on my Tick Tock which is relationship focused I get so many DMs like how do I not message him how do I not chase him how do I not go for the wrong guy how do I not do this and the answer is just be the person who doesn't be the girl who doesn't start to see yourself differently when you think
of a movie character who I don't know maybe Angelina Jolie in the tourists or whatever that movie's called where she's super Chic and wears those cream suits you can visualize yourself as that type of person you can embody that type of person before you become it but instead of going oh one day I will get to that through the source of motivation no you just drop it and say right now from now on I'm Angelina Jolie in my cream suits she would not wear those jogger bottoms or whatever it is bloody outfits that you've been
wearing she would wear sophisticated clothes that's an example in relationships it works the same if you decide to create an identity or be the girl who doesn't Chase men who knows her self-worth yes it's not going to feel right immediately the inner body feeling is going to feel strange because you're going to feel like wait is this really me but the issue isn't about whether it's you or not you the real issue is this is the only way you can be because where you have been has become such a pain point in your life whether
it's lack of health or chasing men who are inadequate that it's no longer serving you you need to just let go of this self-concept that you used to have of this unhealthy person who doesn't know what to do you know what to do you know what to do you have inner knowledge it's not about another course it's not about another book it's not about any of it coffee break you ask me on my Tick Tock what is a book I can read about feminine energy we all know that what type of woman we want to
be we just want someone to kick us up the ass and give us the motivation we want to read that book and drink the Kool-Aid of motivation and and it's almost like having a little motor engine shoved up your bum where you just start going off and you know doing it but it's not about that I've done it several times in my life first time I did it was um I was a deeply average child I had deeply average self-image and body didn't even think about it um until somebody entered me into a Miss Universe
competition and I thought that would be fun and the coach there told me listen you are like five set dress sizes overweight and look you can be if you want to be but for this specific sport or whatever it was you need to be this and suddenly I just decided to change my self-concept I was like oh I want to I want to try my hand at this pageant thing and I just stopped eating my kitty snacks stopped seeing my body how rude how rude stopped seeing my body as something that um is just basically
added on to me as opposed to one second let me beat these people up I stopped seeing my body as something that is just like an appendage that I just put anything into but I was like okay it's almost like being an athlete or something how am I gonna treat my body to achieve this goal and I did the second time I did it in my life was probably with my relationship I had a very anxious attachment style um I was convinced that everybody is going to leave me or you know that people don't like
me and what you do with anxious attachment is you try and latch onto people you try to grab onto them to make sure they don't leave but what that creates is the actual opposite reaction people start to run from you because whatever you chase runs away um that's the dynamic of the universe and it just didn't work until one day I woke up and I realized no I am that girl who's got self-worth and I need a man who's worthy of me and that's what's gonna happen that's just what's gonna happen and it does relationships
are weight loss life goals anything you have to in the moment understand and believe that it's something that is accessible to you I'm choosing to ignore that because we need to talk you need to choose and believe that it's something that is accessible to you if you feel like you're here and want to get here and most people say I don't know how to get from here to here the fact that you've already said you don't know how to get from here to here shows and denotes to the universe and to you and to your
own body every fiber of your being that you are not that person that your self-concept is not that you almost need to be like Michelangelo where you get a slab of stone and you already know that that statute already exists inside you're just etching away at the edges so you're not trying to get from this person to this person you're already this girl this high value woman who's got all this self-worth and all of it and you just need to know that if you've got excess weight it's going to now drop off because you as
this person do these sorts of actions that type of woman would go get her hormones tested that type of woman would eat a diet that suits her that type of woman would know all these things and she would not be thinking oh it's not working it's not working she would have the inner knowledge that of course it's going to work there has to be some trust in the process and the universe there is no guarantees in the world everyone constantly talks about R in relationships you've got to make sure he doesn't this you've got to
well what if he leaves what if he cheats well eventually he's gonna why are you programming that why are you programming that into the world should we not deal with that disaster once it happens and if it happens but if that disaster does not happen why have you programmed every fiber and molecule of your being in preparation of this and then when it happens you're all I see I knew would happen why did you choose someone like that you've already pre-ordained your future oh I can't lose weight oh I can't look good or people don't
respect me oh of course he's gonna cheat well what do you think is going to happen that's your self-concept and you know what if some tragedy does happen let's say you trust someone and they cheat don't you think you can pivot better in your life if your self-concept is of a powerful amazing goddess-like woman who is in control of her body mind life she's trusted this man to be with her and then okay he cheated well well she's still in our power she can now pivot and and open the door to the next 500 men
that are lining up do you know what I mean as opposed to being ready and prepare in a preparedness um that that might happen your self-concept could either completely create you or completely destroy you and recently after two and a half years of just binging random Foods acting like I don't know I just decided to remember who I am and changed my self-concept I decided that I work hard every day there is not a day that I don't work because that's what's going to serve me right now I decided that I'm the type of person
who knows what foods I need to eat suddenly intermittent fasting became easy keto diet became easy do you think it was easy when I was trying to just be disciplined or trying to just feel motivated no all I thought about is bloody food and when I can eat but when your self-concept changes of Who You Are it's not a leap anymore it's just Who You Are try it try and embody this woman that you want to be get out of piece of paper and write down like the Angelina Jolie example who is it that you
want to be do you want to be her do you want to be Michelle Obama I don't care who is it who is your image who is your enemy is that your mother is that your grandmother and act like they act until it becomes natural be already in your self-concept as opposed to trying to get motivated trying to do the right thing trying to get disciplined forget it you can do it
