Marcus Aurelius faced many challenges as a Roman Emperor, from ruling a vast empire to dealing with wars and personal struggles. One particular hardship he wrote about in his Meditations was dealing with difficult people. On a daily basis, he had to deal with people who were unkind, ungrateful, arrogant, dishonest, jealous, and so forth.
Marcus Aurelius was also a devoted practitioner of Stoicism. This (originally) Greek philosophy helped him deal with these unpleasant encounters by focusing on what was in his power instead of lamenting other people’s opinions and dislikes. He wrote: Someone despises me.
That’s their problem. Mine: not to do or say anything despicable. Someone hates me.
Their problem. Mine: to be patient and cheerful with everyone, including them. Ready to show them their mistake.
Not spitefully, or to show off my own self-control, but in an honest, upright way. End quote. Being mindful of others is vital for a pleasant and well-functioning society.
We must consider other people’s needs and well-being; we’re ultimately interdependent; we need each other. However, we could also be too occupied with other people’s thoughts and actions to the point that they become a source of continual suffering. For example, we could be deeply hurt by some people’s political views.
Or we could feel offended by someone insulting us or acting contrary to our values. However, as a Stoic, Marcus Aurelius intended not to let himself be harmed by people’s thoughts and actions—it would obstruct his ability to live virtuously. Also, even though he was the mightiest person in the known world, he was aware that his power was limited; he couldn’t even control the opinions and actions of those close to him.
He realized that feeling hurt over what he couldn’t control was unreasonable. As for today, being hurt by other people’s opinions and actions remains a struggle we all face, especially in a world so polarized. Luckily, the philosophers of old shared valuable insights that could protect us from being harmed by people’s toxicity, stupidity, and short-sightedness.
This video explores why we shouldn’t care what people think, according to philosophers. If you want to support Einzelgänger, consider joining my Patreon page, which allows access to ad-free videos and free merch. Also, follow me on Facebook and Instagram for updates and quotes.
Thank you, and I hope you’ll enjoy this video. Diogenes of Sinope was an ancient Greek Cynic philosopher who lived in a barrel and had distanced himself from material possessions. In clear daylight, he strolled around the marketplace with a lantern, claiming he was looking for a “man” (by which he meant an honest person, contrary to the people around him whom he viewed as dishonest and irrational).
Diogenes was known for his total disregard for social conventions. He didn’t care about the search for status and money people were engaged in. He didn’t care about looking good in the eyes of others.
People called him a ‘dog,’ as he behaved like one and praised a dog’s ‘virtues. ’ Dogs eat and make love in public, walk barefoot, and sleep wherever they want. They’re shameless.
Diogenes liked the shamelessness of dogs; it made them authentic and not “hypocritical” as, he believed, most people are. Dogs are generally indifferent to what people think of them. Have you ever seen a dog feel ashamed after laying a turd in the middle of the road?
Have you ever seen a dog offended by someone laughing at him? Will a dog be disturbed by people’s political views? Not really.
A dog simply “dogs,” not overcomplicating things, not regarding all these man-made ideas and rules. The cynics were a cult of indifference. Their disregard for material possessions, status, and other people’s opinions lay at the core of their philosophy (if you could even call it one), as they believed not being fettered to these things is where true happiness can be found.
You shouldn’t be concerned by other people’s opinions because if you are, these people have power over you. Diogenes’ profound indifference, therefore, made him invincible. He couldn’t even care less what Alexander the Great thought of him, which was shocking considering the many sycophants generally surrounding such a powerful man kissing his ass.
Let’s go to the next philosopher who believes one shouldn’t care too much about what other people think: Arthur Schopenhauer If he had listened to the people around him, particularly his mother, Arthur Schopenhauer would have never become the great pessimistic philosopher people admire today. His mother criticized his pessimistic worldview, and once, she wrote that he was “irritating and unbearable” and “highly annoying”. Ironically, his dark, pessimistic ideas, which his mother loathed, later made him so admired.
He created a philosophy that still speaks to people today by staying authentic. Whenever I read Schopenhauer’s Studies in Pessimism, I chuckle because of his miserable but lucid outlook on existence. From his viewpoint, the German philosopher tells it how it is; he doesn’t sugarcoat anything.
He rationally explains why the world is despicable and why we’d be better off not existing. Similar to Buddhist views, Schopenhauer thought life is suffering. Because of this irrational driving force, which he called the ‘will to live,’ we’re doomed to experience an insatiable striving that often embodies desires that aren’t very rational.
One of these strivings is trying to be highly esteemed in the eyes of others, which Schopenhauer saw as a “peculiar weakness of human nature. ” He pointed out that this tendency to care so much about other people’s opinions brings more unhappiness than happiness. Sure, people’s approval brings a smile to one’s face for a while, but it’s paid for by peace of mind and independence; after all, impressing people takes work, and the more we care about it, the more dependent we are on their opinions.
Moreover, argues Schopenhauer, this validation we’re seeking is often baseless, as people are generally poor judges. I quote: The only way of putting an end to this universal folly is to see clearly that it is a folly; and this may be done by recognizing the fact that most of the opinions in men’s heads are apt to be false, perverse, erroneous and absurd, and so in themselves unworthy of attention; further, that other people’s opinions can have very little real and positive influence upon us in most of the circumstances and affairs of life. End quote.
Now, let’s move on to the next philosopher who believed we shouldn’t put so much emphasis on other people’s opinions: Epictetus Once, Epictetus encountered a poor guy who tried to convince the people around him he didn’t deserve their pity). The man tried to teach them that they pitied him for things they shouldn’t pity him for, such as poverty and lack of status, stating that these things aren’t bad. But Epictetus quickly pointed out that trying to convince people of good and evil is a vain pursuit; even Zeus cannot do it, so why did he try?
Yet, the man wanted these people to have a better opinion of him. So, if he couldn’t convince them not to pity him for being poor and of low status, maybe he could pretend to be a high-status person to gain their approval. But Epictetus reminded him of the means necessary to achieve this facade: he had to borrow a bunch of slaves, possess a couple of luxury items, and show them off often.
He had to act rich and distinguished, dine and hang out with upper-class people, trying to emulate their ways: all that effort just to avoid pity and contempt. Epictetus explained to him the absurdity of trying to convince others while not having convinced the only person he can truly convince: himself. Only his own opinions, pursuits, and attitudes were up to him.
The only way to cease suffering from pain and turmoil (in this case, that people looked down on him) is by giving up things that lie outside the sphere of moral purpose, in other words, outside of his control, and casting them aside. Epictetus told the man: To what class of things, then, does another’s opinion about you belong? —To that which lies outside the sphere of the moral purpose.
—And so it is nothing to you? —Nothing. End quote.
What people do and think is ultimately not in our control, and according to Epictetus, such things shouldn’t be a prime concern. The Stoic philosopher’s view is valuable in today’s society, characterized by outrage, people with short fuses, and a lack of overall tolerance towards ‘the other. ’ People are fighting each other, often anonymously, over different views.
Some seek to impose their views on others, some throw insults and slurs, and others feel deeply hurt by the ideas of their political opponents. But let’s face it: aren’t we wasting our time? The next philosopher was very passionate about non-conformity and following one’s authentic path: Ralph Waldo Emerson Ralph Waldo Emerson was an American transcendentalist philosopher, also known as the champion of individualism and critical thinking.
His essay Self-Reliance calls on individuals to trust themselves when choosing their paths. According to Emerson, we should avoid conforming to the judgments and expectations of others, as overvaluing other people’s opinions prevents us from living authentically. “Imitation is suicide,” stated Emerson, meaning that by copying others and conforming to societal norms, we kill our individuality and unique potential.
He believed each individual possesses a unique inner guiding light, an inner voice telling us where to go. Emerson viewed the inner voice as a divine spark, or “over-soul,” representing the God within us. For him, self-reliance meant prioritizing this inner guidance over the opinions of others.
Each individual has unique experiences that only they can fully understand, as the divine plan is uniquely tailored to each person’s life. He wrote: Trust thyself: every heart vibrates to that iron string. Accept the place the divine providence has found for you, the society of your contemporaries, the connection of events.
End quote. Like Schopenhauer, Emerson believed that people’s opinions often change and are shaped by shallow factors, making them untrustworthy. They are “put on and off as the wind blows and a newspaper directs,” he wrote.
Instead of being tossed around by these often unfounded, superficial, and transient opinions of others, it’s better to develop inner strength and trust in one’s own voice. We should rise above public opinion. Let others be sheep.
Speaking of sheep, we’ll conclude this video with another philosopher—an admirer of Emerson—who also valued authenticity and despised herd mentality: Friedrich Nietzsche Friedrich Nietzsche’s idea of the ‘overman’ (or Übermensch) urges us to rise above mediocrity and create our own values. The overman breaks free from societal standards, conventional morality, and herd mentality. In Thus Spoke Zarathustra, Nietzsche compares humanity to a rope stretched across an abyss—a dangerous crossing from beast to overman.
This journey requires courage, self-overcoming, and letting go of the comforts that keep us tied to conformity. Like domesticated sheep, the masses cling to safety, consumerism, and group ideals that prevent individuals from excelling and becoming who they are. As Nietzsche predicted, many people today have turned into what he called “last men.
” They’re mainly occupied by seeking short-term pleasures, and their lives don’t amount to anything. In our times, people seem to be lived by corporations, telling them what to like and consume, which leads to many feeling empty. The cure for this emptiness is always to consume more.
According to Nietzsche, to prevent nihilism, one should break free from the herd and forge a path of continual becoming and self-overcoming, the authentic path of the overman. Of course, as with anyone who dares to be different, one can expect ridicule, anger, pity, contempt, and being misunderstood, which, as philosophers such as Epictetus and Schopenhauer also pointed out, are the price to pay for a better life. Thank you for watching.
