I Found A Ticket To A Carnival That Burned Down Fifty Years Ago... And It's Valid Tonight

Dr to ni sleep the first time I saw the man with the top hat and Cane I was 17 years old and had just graduated high school I was hanging out with my girl for the summer before heading off to the Army in a couple of weeks I joined up despite the fact that the war in Vietnam was still going on things there weren't looking so good and I had it under good authority that Authority being my ex Army father that I wouldn't see a stitch of combat Watergate was all over the news according to

my ever so wise father Nixon was in deep and sending more boys to die in the jungle didn't make good political sense technically the lottery was still active but the draft was over it had expired the year before right after I got my driver's license oh look beatric my little be said as she pointed at a flyer stapled to the telephone pole outside Hamlin's Diner we were about to order to go for our late picnic out on the reservoir a couple of burgers a bag of fries and a large vanilla shake I also had a

few cans of hams I stole from my father's beer fridge in the garage he knew I took them but never said a word I stared at the poster for a second then frowned at be a carnival really babe I'm going in the Army carnivals are kid stuff I complained not wanting to derail the picnic I had brought a couple of blankets and knew a very secluded spot under the fur trees by the reservoir Shore the tilt a whir wasn't the ride I was looking forward to I had a whole other ride in mind oh don't

be a poop be said tugging at my sleeve it'll be fun I doubt that I said having no problem being a poop she leaned in and her lips brushed my ear as she whispered you ever have a hand job at the top of the fairy wheel that was an easy question to answer and an even easier decision to make we should get going before it gets too late then I said and reached around to give her ass a good pinch she squealed and slapped my hand away then grabbed my arm and pulled me back to

my truck that was parked a couple spots down from the telephone pole B had been studying the engine sputtered a few times and the muffler coughed but my trusty Ford turned over and roared to life I told be she could use it while I was gone but she didn't bite her dad was going to buy her a brand new VW Bug for college so my beat her pickup wasn't exactly enticing the flyer had said the carnival was out on Route 64 just past the Denton farm that didn't narrow it down there was nothing but grass

fields out that way so we could drive for 2 hours and we would technically be past the Denton Farm but we weren't the only ones thinking a summer carnival would be a good idea we probably weren't the only ones thinking a little fun on the ferris wheel was in order so we soon joined a line of Towny cars heading out toward the Denton Farm the disappointment hit about a mile out from the carnival according to the Horizon there definitely wasn't a ferris wheel hell there didn't even look to be a tent taller than the house

I shared with my father the line of cars slowed down with a few making u-turns right there in the highway as the the occupants realized they weren't going to be riding any rides if we hurry we can still get to the reservoir Before Sunset I said no I want to go he said and cozied up next to me then we stopped by the reservoir on the way home before my curfew promise I asked promise she said and kissed my cheek then flicked her tongue in my ear when we reached the dirt track that led to

the grassy parking area in front of the carnival there were maybe a dozen cars already there and only three or four from the original traffic pulling in we parked got out and strolled to the entrance a huge banner up on Warped and bent poles read lay Carnival desams underneath that was a smaller Banner come one come all stay now stay forever Carnival of Souls be said reading the top Banner it's French good thing you took French it is she said and laughed pulling me to the ticket taker who was about the size of my Ford

the man sat on a stool that was barely as big as one of his legs he was gigantic in all proportions 7 ft tall and 7 ft wide he grinned a bucktoothed grin at each customer who handed him a buck for a ticket welcome welcome he cried in a high whistling voice that didn't seem to fit the body it came out of Welcome Friends stay now stay forever we love you all people giggled at him as they got their tickets and rushed away eager to see The Oddities and games the carnival held within its canvas

walls and there were walls 20 ft tall and stretched out around the entire Carnival canvas walls painted with grotesque images of Freaks and Geeks and creatures bizarre kept the looky lose from getting a free peek at the fun inside two I said and held out a couple of bucks the giant eyed me and his bucktoothed faltered a bit I shook the bills two one for me and one for my lady I'm his lady be said and squeezed my arm making a show of us being together the giant kept eyeing me then he took a long

Sniff and shook his head ain't your time he said and still didn't take the cash from me uh yeah it is I said and looked over my shoulder at the few people behind us we didn't cut the line or nothing we waited our turn just like everyone else house his eyes turned on bee and she gripped my arm tighter a look of fear crossing over her face before she put that beautiful smile of hers back on your time is now he said you can go in yeah pal we're a couple if you hadn't caught that

I said and shoved the two bucks at him delicately almost as if he was afraid the dollar bills would bite he plucked one from my hand and dropped it in the cash box tucked on his lap he tore off a ticket and held it out to be hey man I snapped two tickets you hearing me two ain't your time the giant said again listen up you gargantuan I said and took a step forward my finger aimed up at his nose which was a foot higher than me even with him sitting down but he didn't stay

sitting the giant set the cash box down on the ground then got to his feet I was wrong about his height he was closer to 8 ft tall and I realized at that second that my mouth just wrote a check my ass couldn't Cash Ain't Your Time the giant said as he towered Over Me Is there a problem William a silky voice asked no Mr Bruno the giant William I guess replied giant William was so large that I couldn't see around him and find the source of the smooth voice then a shorter man barely taller

than be stepped out from around giant Williams bulk and gave gave us a deep bow he was dressed in a tattered black and red top coat and held a top hat in one hand and a cane in the other the top hat was held out and back behind him as he bowed while the cane was across his chest then he straightened up and smiled so I could see that he was missing more than a few teeth his shirt would have been white if it had ever been washed and his pants despite being black at some

point were stained by various substances making them look like they were made from a modeled material Carter Bruno proprietor and Master of Ceremonies At Your Service he said and bowed again are we going to get tickets or what someone called from behind us yes of course of course my fair ladies and fine gentlemen Mr Bruno cried out to the line step right up one in all everyone is welcome at L carnal Des arms then he focused on me even you young man Mr Bruno giant William mumbled do not worry William Mr Bruno said and patted

the Giant's elbow since that was about as far up as he could reach everything sorts itself out in time don't you worry the man waved away the dollar bill I still held out oh me young man he said then turned and swept his Cane hand out as he placed his top hat back on his head please enjoy yourselves you two love birds be sure to try the caramel corn before you leave it is to die for thank you sir be said and basically dragged me past giant William and into the carnival I glanced back over

my shoulder and both Mr Bruno and giant William were watching me I gave them my patented smirk that always drove my father nuts giant William glared but Mr Bruno didn't instead he tilted his head back and roared with laughter baby come on be said pulling harder on my arm look there's a house of mirrors let's go in and we did we went through that hall four times each time getting more lost instead of being better at finding our way out after that I drugg bee into the reptile house she protested the entire time and about

jumped out of her skin when a lazy bullfrog croaked so loud I thought the thing had to be the size of giant William then I looked in the dir dirty tank and saw an actual microphone hanging above the Mucky water I saw the speakers in the corner of the house just as we left nice trick a smell hit us a few feet from the door of the reptile house and it wasn't snake far from it it was sweet and buttery and salty caramel corn he announced and pulled me to a stand that had the longest

line in the carnival he gave me time to look around as we waited for our sweet and salty treat I realized I was getting hungry we never did get that Togo meal from hamlins there were a hodgepodge of tents set up inside the Carnival's canvas walls if you squinted just right it looked like there was an order to how the tents were set up but that had to be a serious squint otherwise it looked like plain old chaos there was no Midway or neat rows of walking paths for people to follow as I watched the

other people Milling about it seemed like they just gravitated toward a tent and in they went tents with names like Mrs Hilly's fortunes or the Seance parlor or bearded Mna and the strong man oh we should go there next be said and pointed at a tent that was off by itself the Fate maker the sign above the tent flap read the Fate maker I asked what the hell does that even mean I don't know but we're going to find out be said then frowned if this line will ever move then she froze for a second

and grabbed my arm oh no what's wrong um she looked around then leaned in close and whispered can you go to the truck and get my purse babe I'm paying for the caramel corn I said and fished out my wallet even though there were still a dozen people in line before us I got this uh no that's not why I need it she said and swallowed hard I uh don't think we're going to the reservoir after this why not I asked still not getting it I could see she was trying to tell me something with

her eyes and when I couldn't telepathically understand what she was trying to say she leaned even closer inside Aunt Flo just came for a visit who Jesus Christ Jay Ben it clicked oh I said oh yes so she resp responded can you go get my purse I'll wait for the caramel corn don't you want to go instead not in these jeans no she replied please Jay yeah yeah sure babe I said and kissed her on the cheek be right back I mumbled my complaints about no Reservoir time with bee all the way to the carnival

entrance then I stopped as a mountain moved in front of me no re-entry giant Williams said my girlfriend needs something from her purse I replied and it ain't lipstick if you get my meaning no re-entry giant William insisted again look pal I'm just going to my car for a purse okay I said you can watch me the whole way you can inspect the purse so you know I'm not trying to bring in a joint or nothing which instantly made me panic did bee have a joint in her purse there I went again writing checks my

ass couldn't cash when giant William didn't move I smiled up at him and said said maybe we should talk to Mr Bruno about this he's the guy in charge right how about you call him up here giant William still didn't move but he also didn't pick me up and break me over his knee after a few seconds he huffed and moved aside a couple of inches so I could squeeze by his bulk thanks man I said with probably more sarcasm than was warranted I mumbled a few idle threats under my breath as I jogged to

my truck I unlocked the passenger door and found Bee's purse on the truck's floorboard grabbing it I locked the door slammed it shut turned and held up the purse so giant William could see but giant William wasn't looking my way he was staring in the opposite direction at something happening inside the carnival I followed the direction that the boulder of his head was turned in and that's when I saw it smoke a lot of smoke then the scream started and I dropped Bee's purse as I sprinted toward the carnival entrance I'd barely run more than

a few steps when I had to Skid to a stop in my tracks my shoes kicking up gravel and dirt streaks of flame went zooming by inside the carnival one and two then four then five then eight a dozen it took my stunned brain a bit to catch up and realize that the streaks weren't only made of fire they were people the screaming Rose and then the Panic overtook everyone there was a Mad Dash toward the entrance and about 10 or 12 people raced straight for the parking lot except they never made it a streak

of flame which was a person set a blaze somehow cut them off running right into giant William the huge man's T-shirt and jeans caught fire instantly as melted flesh collided with his bulk his high voice became almost inaudible unless you were a dog the man managed to push the burning person off of him but it was way too late for giant William fire swarmed over his massive body and he fell to his knees then he fell over and the dry grass around him caught fire those Flames spread to each side and Rose High into the

air before setting the canvas wall of flame in only a couple of seconds what should have been an easy exit to escape through turned into an inferno trapping everyone inside the canvas walls blazed bright and the Flames fed across them stretching to Encompass the entire Carnival be I yelled and tried to get my legs to move but they wouldn't I was frozen there in the parking lot shock keeping me planted Where I Stood B J I heard a scream and that almost broke the fear j a body burst through the Flames then another and another

each one was a living torch and they only made it a yard or two before collapsing into the dirt and gravel one of them managed to get back to their hands and knees and look directly at me me I whispered as I watched my girlfriend try to crawl toward me she made it a foot before falling onto her face her body still except for the Flames that licked and fed and burned her into the dirt and gravel I'll never forget that sight I'll never forget the screams I'll never forget the very brief moment when the

wind shifted and the Flames parted for half a second and I swore I saw Mr Bruno just standing there no flames on him smiling at me then the wind died and the Flames Rose even higher than before finally forcing me to move or combust from the heat that swelled out from The Inferno that was the first time I saw the man with the top hat in cane 50 years ago on a day that haunts me even now especially now because the second time I saw the man with the top hat in cane when I saw

Mr Bruno again was just a second ago and he doesn't look like he'd aged a day Grandy the sweetest little voice in all the world asks the Voice's tiny hand squeezes mine as I stare out of the ice cream parlor window at what I thought had to be a ghost Grandy huh I mumble looking down at my great granddaughter hm what Lily our turn the precocious 5-year-old says she points at the counter and the scowling teenager behind it we're next oh sorry I say with a chuckle as I glance over at the glass freezers that

display more than 30 flavors of ice cream uh I'll have rocky road on a sugar cone and this little lady will have strawberry in a waffle cone no Grandy PA I want orange sherbet she says making sure to pronounce the r at the end that isn't there just like her mama does and has since she was Lily's age sorry sweet thing I said and make Crazy Eyes down at The Treasure of my heart then I look at the teenager whose scowl has deepened considerably or in sherbet in a waffle cone it's sherbet the teenager says

not sherbet I'm sure that knowledge will get you into Harvard I say and smile whatever the teenager says then fetches our treats that'll be 12:39 for a single scoop on a sugar cone and a kid scoop and a waffle cone I asked stunned at the price that's not a kid scoop um but she's a kid you didn't ask for a kid scoop seriously uh yeah seriously the teenager replies either ignoring my shock or just not understanding that 1239 is ridiculous for a couple of ice cream cones gryp Lily asks her eyes wide and staring up

at me it's melting I look down and see an orange mess about to happen I hand the teenager my credit card then grab a w of napkins and head off the Avalanche of sherbet that's overflowing the waffle cone and starting to wet Lily's fingers thank you for coming the teenager says and slides my card back to me with a receipt under it next I take my card and the receipt and stuff both into my pocket as I move Lily out of the other customer's way we head to a table and I get her cleaned up

then sit down and give my cone a hearty bite gryp Lily exclaims and Giggles you lick ice cream you don't bite it life is short dear girl I say and take another bite no time for licking it's a biting world I lean over and Nash my teeth at her and the giggles get louder and stronger we slowly eat our treats then I take her to the bathroom to get those sticky hands clean when we come out the ice cream parlor is empty except for a top hat that sits on a table in the corner my

blood goes cold Grandpa ow Lily says and I realize I'm squeezing her hand way too hard sorry sweetheart I say and turn to the teenager hey that hat who left it what hat I look at the table in the corner and it's empty no hat nothing I uh never mind I say and Lead Lily to the front door thanks yeah sure no problem the teenager says his nose buried in his phone before my hand even touches the door handle out on the sidewalk I look left then right hoping to catch the sight of well what

or who the man with the top hat and Cane Mr Bruno someone who died 50 years ago when the caramel popcorn Kettle caught fire and Hot Sugar exploded out onto the line of people just waiting for a sweet treat the thought of that day sour the rocky road in my belly and I have to struggle to keep it down you okay Grandy paaw fine sweetheart I lie Jay a voice calls out mommy Lily shrieks and Yanks her hand free as she races to my granddaughter who is stepping out of a Subaru she's just parked a

few spaces down from the ice cream parlor my son and daughter-in-law died in a car accident when Jesse was five leaving her upbringing to mine and my wife's hands Jesse has always called me Jay not Grandpa not Grandpa Jay or papy or even a formal grandfather always Jay which is why I treasure her little Lily calling me Grandy PA Jesse called my wife grandma though which always made me think my late wife put that little girl up to calling me Jay as a joke that just took on a life of its own neither one would

fess up not even my wife in her last moments in hospice stubborn women the fieldings I give Jesse a wave as she picks up Lily and swoops her into the air Jesse Smiles at me and Tucks Lily onto her hip even though the girl has gotten way too big for that to be comfortable the two walk my way then Jesse's eyes catch sight of something and she pauses by the lamp post that shouldn't be there she says nodding at the flyer taped to the lamp post no posting downtown I can't believe it hasn't been ripped

down yet I walk over and pluck the flyer from the post my heart racing a bit L Carnaval disarms the flyer reads and does a picture of a ferris wheel I want to ride Lily shouts squirming in her mother's arms no I snap and wad up the flyer tossing it at a trash can a few feet away Jesse takes a step back and Lily frowns Jay are you all right what yes fine I say and shake my head got a little headache from eating my ice cream too fast is all Rocky Road Lily crows and

what did Little Miss have Jesse asks her daughter or in sherbet Lily replies proudly no strawberry Jesse asks and Lily shakes her head well look at who is getting adventurous as she grows up then Jesse looks back at me and frowns you sure that's all Jay she asks you look like well you look like when grandma died are you thinking about her what oh no no I say not admitting that I am thinking of a woman who died just not my late wife okay if you're sure Jesse says obviously not believing this old man's BS

well thanks for watching Lily Pad here for me anytime anywhere I say and reach out to tickle Lily's neck happy to help well thanks again Jesse says as she watches me carefully you're sure you're all right right is rain I say and give her two thumbs up okay she says then sets Lily down well Lily has dance class in 15 minutes so we better go I don't want to dance Lily says and rubs her belly too full he gave her a big scoop I say to Jesse and you let her eat it all Jesse shakes

her head we'll talk later about overfeeding 5-year-olds Jay you still coming to dinner tonight my eyes Dart to the trash can uh I think I'll eat it home tonight I'm a little tired probably going to make a sandwich and fall asleep in front of the tube what tube Lily asks that's what old farts like Jay call the TV Jesse says and smirks at me then she moves in and kisses my cheek okay but don't eat too many potato chips you know what the doctor said that I'm going to live forever yeah that's exactly what he

said Jesse says and frowns at me love you love you too dear I say and kiss her cheek then smile at my treasure and I love you most as sweetheart most is back Lily yells then rushes to the Subaru her full stomach already forgotten I watch them get in and pull away all of us waving madly at each other like crazy people then as soon as the Subaru is around the corner I hurry to the trash can and fish out the flyer no I whisper as I stare at the words it only has the name

of the carnival and the ferris wheel except this time as I look at it I can see the outline of flames around the ferris wheel no no no I wad the flyer up and throw it away again then try not to run to my old Ford pickup the same one I've had since a teenager my wife complained and complained about the truck but I told her that it was my hobby and I loved spending every weekend keeping the thing running in truth it's a memorial a memorial to that late afternoon when I watched a different

woman I loved die I stop off at the liquor store for a bottle of bourbon when I pull out my wallet my credit card and the ice cream receipt fall out of my pocket and land on the floor I'd never put my card away when I reach down to pick them both up I pause the credit card is my credit card sure but the receipt is not a receipt it's a ticket you all right down there Jay the clerk asks me yeah Dan I say and straighten up the ticket in my hand printed on it

is the carnival deams admit one I heard there was going to be a carnival in town but they couldn't get a permit or something Dan says as he Rings up my bottle 2650 I slide my card to him my eyes still glued to the ticket maybe you can get a refund for that Dan says holding out my card and the bottle that has been neatly Brown bagged up I I didn't buy this I say quietly okay then nothing lost Dan says still holding out my card and the bag nothing lost I Echo he has no

idea how wrong he is I shake it off and shove the ticket into my pocket then take the card and the bag thanks Dan you sure you're good Dan asks me as I turn away do I need to worry about you driving home I'm good I'm good I say and smile at him thanks then I'm out at the store and in my pickup before he can worry some more the drive home is a days and I robotically park in my driveway grab the bag and walk to the front door of my house where a flyer

is taped to the outside of the storm door the bag slips from my fingers but luckily it lands on my foot and bounces over into the grass the last thing I need is for the neighbors to see me spilling Liquor on my front walkway half the houses are filled with young families who already look at me like I'm a daughtering old fool even though I'm only 67 breaking a bottle of bourbon in front of everyone would surely get the grape vine buzzing although I guess the grap Vine these days actually buzzes since it's all texts

and messages now I ignore the bag on my grass and stare at the flyer Le Carnival Des arms my hand goes to my pocket and I slide the ticket out now it says the carnival Des arms admit one tonight only but there's no Carnival I whisper it was shut down I swallow hard and it isn't the same one no no no I shake it off shove the ticket back into my pocket fetch my bottle leave the flyer where it is because I just don't want to touch it and open the front door I never lock

it what are they going to steal a bunch of old vinyl records a laptop from the early 2000s go for it when inside I toss my keys and wallet on the table by the door then carry the bottle into the kitchen where I fetch a glass right away I don't even take the bottle out of the bag I pour right from it and then down that drink in one gulp I pour another then another but I stopped there other than ice cream I haven't eaten since lunch so I don't want to go too far I

reach into my pocket again and take out the ticket the carnival disarms admit one tonight only you know where I throw the ticket away from me as if it has teeth and Claws it floats through the air defying all known laws of physics and disappears into the kitchen sink good I say and set my glass of bourbon down I yank open what we have always called the junk drawer and pull out a long utility lighter that mainly gets used for jackal LNS once a year since I don't have a fireplace and candles were my wife's

thing I go to the sink and see the ticket sitting there face down on the stainless steel I don't even have to touch it I just flick the lighter's trigger and set the flame to a corner of the ticket it catches fire and is Ash in seconds don't worry the irony is not lost on me a ticket to a carnival that burned down 50 years ago is now burnt ash in my sink not tonight I say and then I jump as a loud knock comes from my front door taking a deep breath I run some

water in the sink sending the ashes down the drain then I rake my fingers through my hair and leave the kitchen quickly to answer the door as a second loud knock Echoes through the house yes I ask as I open the door there's no one there but what I see is the fly except it's been turned around so I can read it from inside the house shoving the storm door open I race out onto my lawn and look both ways up and down the street there down the block I see a person walking around the

corner and it isn't a small person it's a mountain of a man hey I shout and Sprint after him but when I reach the corner there's no sign of the man there's also no sign of my breath as I bend over and rest my hands on my knees my lungs burning from the Sprint I struggle to take in air and wonder if this is it am I finally having the heart attack my doctor has been warning me was inevitable if I didn't give up things like bourbon and ice cream and everything that's fun in life

a few minutes go by and I'm able to breathe normally again I turn and walk home deliberately avoiding looking at the front windows of my neighbors houses no need to see if the grape vine is watching or not I'm sure someone saw my Mad Dash and my gasping inside with the door lock locked because that's what you do when you see a ghost from your past Lumber down your street I hurry to the kitchen and my waiting glass of bourbon impending heart attack be damned my phone rings just as I lift the glass to my

lips Jesse hey sweetheart how was dance class I ask knowing it's Lily because she calls me after every dance class gryp guess what Lily's excited voice explodes in my ear what Tiny Dancer I ask smiling as I take a quick sip a man came by class and gave everyone tickets to a carnival the glass slips from my fingers and shatters on the kitchen floor no I say yes Lily exclaims it's only for tonight so we're all going now mommy asked me to ask if you want to come they're shuffling and then Jesse's voice comes on

the line hey Jay I know you said you were in for tonight but Lily is really wanting you to come she says are you able to the unspoken question is whether or not I've been enjoying my bourbon already but despite having belted down two glasses I'm more sober than I've ever been T go I whisper what was that Jesse asks then shouts Lily stop jumping on the couch don't go I try to say louder but it's still only a whisper listen Jay come if you can okay I got to go before Lily breaks her free

neck Jesse says she really wants you there if you're able all right but if not do not get in that truck and drive all the way out to Denton's Farm I interrupt yeah exactly she says Lily damn it got to go Jay the phone goes dead I stand there for a second then I fetch a broom and clean up my mind whirling this isn't happening no it can't be I get the glass picked up up and toss the pieces into the trash then I find a rag to wipe up the bourbon when I go to

the sink to rinse the rag a small scream escapes my throat the ticket is in the sink it is not Ash there isn't a burn mark on it like Carnival desams admit one tonight only you know where I do know where so does Jesse and Lily and all those little girls and boys from dance class no I say and grab up the ticket then shout No not tonight not ever shoving the ticket in my pocket I grabed my phone off the kitchen counter hurry to the front door snag my keys and wallet then race out

to my Ford the engine Roars to life and the muffler coughs twice then I yank the gear shift down into reverse and speed out of my driveway hey someone screams and I slam on the brakes off to the side of my driveway is one of the neighbor families out for an early evening walk a husband a wife and a stroller I was half a foot from wiping them all out sorry I say as I roll down my window I have an emergency with my great granddaughter look around first will you the husband snaps at me

yeah yeah sorry I say and wave them on you go I'll stay put the parents glare at me as they make a big show of navigating around the tail of my truck so they can continue their family outing I'm sure the baby in the stroller is looking up up at both parents learning a glare she or he will use on some other old dude when she or he has kids of their own when the neighbors have finally gotten out of my way I reverse out into the street and then shove the gear shift into drive

and race away from my house I can hear the clicking of the letters as a nasty text is sent to half the houses on the Block reporting another J Fielding transgression but them all I have to get somewhere right now and no thread is thread enough to keep me from my Lily and my Jesse the roads are a blur and not because I've had a couple of drinks but because the godamn tears refuse to stop Welling in my eyes please no please no please no I mumble as I speed out of town and hit Route

64 my speed matching the Highway's number mailbox after mailbox zooms by as I head for the one I'm looking for if it's still there the Denton Farm went under during the 80s back when trickle down economics saved us all if all of us were greedy Wall Street bastards Scavenging off the pensions of hardworking Americans while inflating Farm loans so high that the suicide rate amongst the working class began to match those interest rates decimal point for decimal point I'd love to say times have changed but have they there about a mile ahead I see cars

turning onto a dirt Lane that hasn't been used in decades I press my foot down onto the accelerator and the Ford's engine revs dangerously so dangerously that I start to see smoke or steam billowing out from under the hood don't you dare I shouted my pickup slamming my Palms on the steering wheel over and over come on you old piece of keep it together I only need one more mile out of the old Ford just one more mile please I don't get that mile as the truck begins to Lurch hard the smoke or steam is

a blinding cloud erting like a volcano from under the old hood the pickup lurches one more time and then dies forcing me to pull over to the side of the rural highway I don't even bother to take the keys from the ignition I'm out of the pickup and running down the highway before the Ford has even come to a complete stop for the second time tonight I'm sprinting on blacktop my old knees telling me they have maybe 100 yards in them while my hips argue that I'll be lucky to get that 100 yards before my

legs fall off at the waist my lungs mock both my knees and my hips and in seconds I have a stitch in my side that brings me up short air fights to fill my chest as I bend over and try not to throw up Lily I gasp and forced myself to stand up straight despite the agony in my side and in my chest an Agony in my chest that isn't just me being short of breath even though I'm that too the image of my treasure with sherbet running down her fingers fills my mind and I

ignore all the discomfort all the pain and get my feet moving again on step two steps three steps and I'm lurching along Route 64 like my Ford did in its last moments the pain worsens everywhere but I speed up and I'm jogging at a steady clip when I reach the dirt road and turn onto it then my feet slip out from under me as my shoes hit gravel I come down hard on my right side and I know something is cracked in there Jesus I'm 67 not 87 I have no time for broken hips or

heart attacks or any of that headlights Blaze behind me and a horn tootes quickly hey all right someone asks as they get out of their car and walk to me Jay I look up tears of pain in my eyes Jay it's Todd the someone who is nothing but a dark silhouette against the car's headlight says Todd kamaster Todd kamasa one of the dance dads hey Todd I say and try to stand but cry out and fall back to the gravel instead a little help oh sure Todd says then I have hands under my arms helping

me to my feet the pain in my hip is excruciating like glass shards being shoved together the pain in my chest isn't quite as bad but it's still pretty bad hey man you want me to call her Todd begins but I grab him by the shoulder ERS and give him a shake stopping the words before he can finish get out of here I snarl leave get your kids out of here and do not come back never come back whoa whoa Jay Todd says and tries to steer me toward his car how about we get you

I said to leave I Roar and he stumbles away from me go you dumb jeez Todd says and backs away from me to my surprise and relief he gets in his car and turns it around I can hear his kids inside protesting but I don't need to see past the headlights to already know that Todd is making a phone call probably to the police maybe to Jesse to see what is wrong with her grandfather Jesse Lily I limp and struggle my way down the road to the parking lot where there are already cars parked but

thankfully it looks like everyone is lined up at the entrance and no one has gone inside No I shout and wave my arms over my head a few heads swivel my way but I don't see Jesse or lily anywhere get out of line don't go in there Warheads turned and soon everyone is looking in my direction as I slowly painfully approach the entrance I shudder as I see a mountain of a man stand up and look directly at me I don't know how it can be I watched him burn Mr Bruno giant William shouts over

his shoulder he's here people are muttering and pointing but I don't give a I cut the line in face giant William no one complains they're all too busy staring at me with their mouths open none of them have their phones out to record me which is a modern Miracle with a sneer on my face I glare at Giant William and then try to limp around him take it he says placing a palm on my chest stopping me like I was made of paper the pain in my chest increases and I gasp for air but that

doesn't stop me from reaching into my pocket and pulling out the ticket I hold it up and shake it in his face here I say and then slap it against his chest my ticket he stares at me then slides the ticket away from his chest and looks down at it it should be in order now a silky voice says and in half a second I see a tattered red and black coat coming my way giant William reads the ticket and nods it's his time the huge man says it is his time isn't it Mr Bruno

says when he reaches me then he looks at the line of very confused people sorry folks but due to a prior private engagement we have to close early tonight another modern Miracle occurs and no one argues in a day when entitlement runs the country I cannot believe not a single one of the dance dads or Dance Moms even tries to object Lily I gasp Jesse Mr Bruno looks past me and out at the parking lot they're fine he says all silky smooth I turn my hip shrieking and see my granddaughter and my treasure standing at

the edge of the parking lot their eyes on me as the disappointed and Confused crowd Mills past them all headed for their cars Grandy PA Lily yells and begins to pull away from her mother's hand no I scream and feel my vocal cords almost rip Lily freezes and for the first time in my life and hers I see fear of Me In Her Eyes no I say more calmly and raise a hand then look at Jesse take her home Jay Jesse asks her question filled with fear go Jesse I say and try to smile I'll

be fine Jay what's going Jesse begins to argue please please I shout please go dear please they are welcome to come in Mr Bruno says and I worl on him he holds his hands up or not he shrugs we just needed you to pay attention and come join us it's not their time anyway then he looks past me and repeats what he said before sorry folks but due to a prior private engagement we have to close early tonight I don't understand Jesse says take Lily home I say I have some unfinished business here but damn

it Jesse listen to me for a change I shout she stumbles a step back and I try to take a deep breath but my lungs won't let it in all the way so I just wheeze loudly it's all right everything is all right just please take her home Jesse doesn't turn to leave but she also doesn't move toward me shall we Mr Bruno says taking me by the elbow I believe you missed out last time what I say and finally focus on the man caramel corn Mr Bruno says you never got your caramel corn I'm

not burning up I say and try to yank my arm away but I'm too weak oh J I don't think Flames are needed for you to join the others Mr Bruno says and Taps my chest right over my heart do you no I admit something breaks in my chest and Mr Bruno catches me before I fall yeah caramel corn sounds good I bet it does he says and leads me away from the entrance I take one last look at Lily and Jesse and raise my hand I love you I whisper then I walk with Mr

Bruno deeper into the carnival as the sounds of people people playing games and laughing fill my ears J A Familiar voice calls out be runs up to me looking exactly as she did when we were young you made it she says and smiles at me yeah I did I say and smile back I guess it's my time now I can barely breathe now let's go get some of that caramel corn I whee as bee takes my hand thanks for listening if you enjoy these stories be sure to subscribe to the podcast and check out some

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