HOW TO STOP COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHERS | STOP ENVY & BECOME THE GIRL YOU’RE OBSESSED WITH

[Music] happy Wednesday everyone and welcome back to another episode of a better you I am your host Fernando Ramirez and welcome back to this podcast I'm so happy to have you here if you are new here this is a place where we talk all things self-improvement self-development lifestyle Health Fitness becoming your best self the most confident the most charismatic and just overall girl boss in today's episode we're talking about a topic that has been requested for quite some time now and you know I'm surprised I haven't done this episode because it is something that I

feel like every girl or anyone in the world but I feel like particularly the teen girls they get it because societal standards are so high that you can't help but compare yourself and compare yourself online and compare yourself to the model you saw one time the influencer you saw that one time or even maybe the girl in your class whatever in today's episode we're going to talk all about how to stop yourself from comparing yourself to other others and to overall just stop being so envious of others and instead harness that energy that power poured

into ourselves and become the person that we're obsessed with because it is so easy to fall into a slippery slope of wanting to be like that person wanting to have what they have wanting to look how they do and it's just all about this want want want and sometimes we forget that we are our own individual unique selves and being ourselves is our biggest power and our biggest asset and authenticity is power as I love to say I didn't make that quote but I do love that quote and so anyways we're going to talk all

about these things and really just how to focus on yourself how to not let someone else's success diminish yours or whatever you're jealous of diminish anything that you have yourself and also what the difference is between jealousy and envy because even myself when I was kind of researching for this episode I was a little bit confused there but now I feel like I have a very clear image on what exactly this means and ways on how to tackle it which of course it's easier said than done but I feel like having this episode with examples

and ways that you can overcome this and just definitions and just all encapsulating it can be a really helpful tool for yourself whenever you're feeling down whenever you're feeling low I will definitely be hyping you up in this episode and you guys can listen to it whenever or if you ever need a little pick-me-up or a little boost but anyways before we get into today's topic because I know I'm going to be chatting a lot already I want to give a little bit of recap on myself it is literally July which is actually insane it's

crazy I don't understand how it's six months into the year and I feel like I need to do a little six months check-in with myself because I feel like for the past six months I've just been traveling working being distracted and it's all deviating me from the original plot of the story that's how I feel right now I'm like girl reel it back in what is the freaking goal and I feel like you know we're all used to doing our New Year's goals every year January 1st or maybe a little bit before that but the

six months check-in is a really crucial time to remember what you're striving for and to see if you're your vision board actually aligns with how you're acting as an individual today and if you have deviated off a little bit the path how can we get it back to where we are trying to be where we are meant to be and eliminate all distractions because I definitely am feeling a little bit distracted recently and to be honest with you June was a great month in terms of personal growth and experiences but work wise I kind of

did follow up a little bit in the last episode I told you guys that I was going to New York so just to kind of recap that and to give you guys a little bit of an update that went so well I went to the prime event for the Summer I Turned Pretty it was so much fun it was so iconic seeing all the actors in person I was obsessed with the way I did my hair I got my makeup done I loved my dress I just felt super confident and I got to meet up

with some new friends I got to see my old friends and I went out every time I go to New York I swear it's a bender but I just can't help it because it's so fun there I had lots of good food and ever since I've been back I'm so happy guys I'm so happy I don't know if my friend my is listening to this right now but she was in Australia for six months and she came back and she is one of my bestie girly friends my hometown friends my long lasting friend since I

was like 10 years old and I'm so happy that she is back home I spent all weekend in my hometown I guess that sounds so weird to say but it is what it is and we had a little welcome home party for her it was just ugh I can't remember laughing that hard in a weekend and that's the kind of friendships that you need to be having because being around her just makes me so happy so I had a blast we went out on the Friday and we stayed up till 4am literally getting Denny's the

next day we went on a little hot girl walk and then I saw my boyfriend's soccer game and I hung out with my boyfriend and his friends and on Sunday I went to Fort Langley which is a super cute location here in Vancouver and it kind of just went to coffee shops I went to different restaurants and yeah now it's Tuesday that was my update life is good I'm excited for the rest of the summer I want to continue seeing my friends staying in Vancouver living my summer in NBC fantasy and working on my tan

working on my joy working on my craft anyways let's get into the topic I have all my notes here beside me I have been preparing for this episode and we are going to start off by talking about what the difference is between jealousy and envy because as I said at the beginning of this episode I was a little bit confused by what the difference was so basically jealousy is feeling like something that you have is being threatened it feels like a threat to you it can be in your relationship it can be in a friendship

it can be something that you own like for example you're friends with someone and then they become friends with someone else you feel very jealous because it's kind of threatening the relationship that you have with that individual or maybe you have a relationship with your boyfriend or girlfriend whatever and a new person comes in and they're looking at them like they kind of like them you get really jealous because you're like excuse me do not touch my mans or my woman's or whoever this may be whoever's listening to this it is a threat to something

you already own so you will feel jealous this I feel like could have its own podcast episode but it goes hand in hand with Envy but but I will say Envy is an emotion that arises in ourselves when we desire something that someone else has I feel like this is a feeling that is super common but if you don't identify it you could not even know that you're feeling it instead this can result in you criticizing someone else or kind of holding resentment towards them or just disliking them when deep down it's actually your inner

self telling yourself that you want something they have which can go one or two ways you can again feel all these negative emotions towards them and be like I don't like them I don't want to be around them they make me feel bad about myself or you can take this as inspiration and as kind of a hint and a clue into something that you yourself want and use that as inspiration or use that person's advice or ask that person for advice and become that person that you want to be so bad so again Envy is

focusing on what others possess this can be materialistic things physical appearance social status experience or opportunities or talents and skills when when I think about Envy I definitely think that I have experiences before as so does I think everybody else for you guys to understand and see if this has happened to you or maybe you're kind of reflecting on yourself and being like do I feel Envy sometimes times I want to kind of give you guys some examples of ways that I have felt this and what has resulted out of these feelings because maybe you

can relate to them in some way the first one would be before I started my YouTube channel I remember there was a phase when I couldn't watch my favorite YouTubers without just feeling like enraged and wanting to turn it off I would click on these girls videos and I didn't even want to watch it I didn't want to watch it to be honest and I'd be like oh they're so annoying I can't watch it I could do this better and the reason why I felt kind of like annoyed at them was probably because I actually

wanted to be them like I wanted to be the one with the YouTube channel I wanted to be the one sharing my life I wanted to be the one that was talking to a camera and getting all this PR and having these experience and going on these brand trips I wanted that so bad that I couldn't even let myself watch their content and enjoy it because I felt so envious this could have gone one or two ways I could have said I hate these people I can't watch them they make me feel bad about myself

I'm just gonna stop watching YouTube and I'm gonna silently hate them I'm gonna be a hater I could have left hate comments on their posts and being like you don't deserve this there's so many people out there that are more qualified than you there's so many people that are better than you whatever I could have been a hater okay and for a bit I wasn't a hater okay but I stopped watching content altogether because I was like girl you need to protect your piece and I cannot keep watching this content that's making me feel bad

about myself but some years went by and I became that YouTuber myself I started making those videos that I knew I could do I made content that I thought was even better than those people which okay no one's content is better than anyone whatever but like I just put a lot of effort into it I had the vision in my head and I was like I'm gonna execute it exactly how I want to and this isn't a YouTube Story episode but after consistency after practice after harnessing my own individual uniqueness into my craft here we

are a YouTuber and I live off of YouTube and now that is my life and I feel like that example or scenario in itself can show you that you can use that power of your Envy to benefit yourself and other people to me that was benefiting myself and becoming a YouTuber and helping other people by showing them what I have to offer so if this is something that you felt before you've been feeling I think it's really important to note that a lot of people feel this way and it's super common and I think something

that is really common to do is suppress these feelings and again you may not even be aware of them so you may be not necessarily trying to but you may be suppressing them and the reason why is because you don't even know that you're feeling like this so I guess the first step before anything is having self-awareness and if something is triggering you being like wait a second why is this bothering me is it because I want something that person has is it because I just saw something of like this person living their best life

and I want to be living like that or is it because this person at my work is getting this promotion and I want that like I think it's important to realize when you are feeling these feelings and just recognizing your feelings and validating them and knowing that it's okay to feel like this and it's valid that you feel like this I think it's understandable that you may feel like this and just overall reflecting on the situation I think that there's probably so many Journal prompts you can can do or even just thinking through it or

talking to somebody like a friend just kind of reflecting on the situation can be super beneficial maybe it's giving you a sense of direction even to figure out what you want to do or maybe even a self-realization like if you weren't being very active or something and you saw someone super fit and like eating really healthy maybe this is an indication that like you want to start your health Journey or your fitness journey or whatever like it just gives you an indication of where you want to go and where you want to be I even

think that after you reflect on this you could probably write in a few notes of like what your goals are or how you want to improve to become like this person how you're going to get there is a lot better than letting it consume you and having these bitter envious feelings because nobody wants to feel like that it's uncomfortable and it can make even your relationship with this other person very tense and you're just randomly gonna have tension with them when like that might not even be your intent like you may be fully friends with

this person you maybe even like I don't know working closely with this person and you don't want to have that awkward barrier between you guys so I think the sooner that you can recognize how how you're feeling and seeing how you can move forward is so much better than sitting in that feeling and possibly projecting or saying something you don't mean to them out of a place of Envy I want to talk about some of the ways that you can manage this and I guess the first one is to just be present and be grateful

for what you already have and I know that's easier said than done or it just sounds like the Super Simple Solution but it truly is like the ultimate one because a lot of the times when we want something we can't have we're in this state of like Juan and I've been there before when I just I want what they have I want to be where they are also I this might happen to me a lot when I'm comparing myself to online and something that I saw on Pinterest today was that the reason why we struggle

with insecurity is because we compare our behind the scenes with everybody else's highlight reel and it's just that a lot of the times maybe you're even comparing yourself to someone's appearance and you're just lounging at home and you're like oh why don't I look like that person but they're flexed they could be edited it could be a fitness influencer that devotes their life and time into their body I feel like one that's happening right now is like I see everybody in Europe on vacation and I'm just like uh I want to be there but like

maybe they haven't even taken a vacation in five years and I have taken other ones but because they are there I'm watching their highlight reel and I could be at home and I'm just like envious that I want to be there doing what they're doing and it makes you just not be present in where you are now which again another quote that I always see on Pinterest is to be rooted into where your feet are so wherever your feet are that is where you should be you should be present in the now and just be

grateful for what you have around you especially when we can take so many things for granted like our health our ability to move our ability to walk the money that we have the roof over our heads friends that we have the connections we have it's so easy to forget about all those things because it feels like a staple or like a default but you have to recognize how many good things you already have and that not everybody has those same things like as much as you may want somebody else's success or looks or whatever there's

so many people that want what you currently have and you're also never gonna be in this position ever again if if you're talking about like external appearance or something like you're never going to be as young as you are now and maybe you're actually living in a beautiful city you don't know how much longer you're going to live there or you don't know if something's going to happen in the future that compromises your health or maybe something happens like financially like you just need to be very grateful for what you have now and not forget

about those things another thing that we all know is that comparison is the thief of joy and I think that is a sentence that I always remind myself when I am comparing myself to someone else because when you are comparing yourself or envious of someone it literally does nothing productive other than make you feel sad or like shameful or whatever like it's just not doing anything for you the second way that you can manage this is to funnel it into yourself and just work on personal growth and personal development I think a lot of times

we want to be like certain people but we're forgetting that if there's someone that has what you want and this could be like a job or a certain amount of success or a certain amount of money instead of wishing that you have what that person has you can funnel that energy into yourself and put in the work and actually grind it yourself read some books sign for some courses invest money into yourself and use that time and actually put in the effort if that means going to the gym then go to the gym if that

means you need to say no to certain Hangouts because you want to work on yourself and work on becoming better then do that because all of those things eventually will make you feel like that person that you want to be and in fact you need to embody that person that you want to be and this can kind of go for the YouTube example but when I wanted to become a YouTuber I started with like 50 followers and I said to myself I'm a YouTuber I am a YouTuber that's who I am and that became my

identity and everything that I did every action that I took was with that in mind and I feel like that got me to my goal a lot faster and instead of constantly being like I'm not like that person yet I'm not good enough yet I'm not worthy enough yet that person still has more followers I was not worried about what anybody else was doing I was comparing myself to myself I was just trying to post videos that were better than what I did last week better than what I did a few months ago and again

I feel like this goes for becoming your best self in general whenever I think about my fitness journey or my health journey I know that it is not fair and it's not reasonable it's not realistic to compare myself to somebody else with a tiny little figure that has like naturally an eight pack and like a huge butt and arm muscles like that could be their genetics and there's no point in comparing myself to them when we are two different people we are unique we have our own set of things whereas if I compare myself to

myself I'm gonna say how can I be more fit than I was last year how can I work out harder than I did in the last class how can I etc etc so remember you can use this energy that you are putting on other people and wishing and wanting take that instead into how can I be better and ultimately not only are you going to probably grow so much because you're focusing on yourself but you don't even have time to think about what all these other people are doing and you're gonna fall in love with

yourself which if you are pouring so much energy and time into yourself elf I think it's unfair to even like hate on yourself or feel bad about yourself or wish that you were somebody else because you are putting in the work you are putting in that effort and as long as you are putting in the effort there is nothing that you can complain about or make yourself feel bad about because you are doing the work and that's what's most important you're probably going to get further along into your journey and who you actually want to

be if you are just focused on yourself okay the next way to manage this feeling is to celebrate and uplift others instead of being silent and being this hater that we do not want to be celebrate them and lift them up and give them words of encouragement be positive towards them compliment them and I feel like that is the way that you can take out whatever you're feeling but in a positive way I think letting someone know that you admire something about them or even saying to them like I wish I had what you had

I am so envious of you but you're saying it in a way of like compliment or admiration you can never have too many compliments the other person's gonna appreciate it you might even get closer they might even be like oh thank you so much like let me show you what I do did you know and then it goes back and forth between helping each other rather than it becoming a competition which also I want to point out there I feel like that's a big thing a lot of people put up a fake competition between them

them and someone else and they want to one-up them or they want to be just like them or be better than them or copy them but like do it better than them and that whole scenario is just a no-go if you are doing that acknowledge it and like avoid that because first of all you're gonna lose some friends second of all it might be obvious and it might be embarrassing and third of all it's just gonna be a competition that you're not gonna be able to win because you aren't that person and maybe that could

be a tough pill to swallow but like you're not that person you aren't gonna get that same exact replica of success or you're never gonna look like that person or you're never going to do something the way exactly that person did it because that's exactly that's exactly the thing they did it because they are them and you are you if someone gets an award be happy for them and encourage them and just know that if you are also giving that love and support to other people you are going to get the same thing in turn

and if this is in an example of success or something you wouldn't want someone to not congratulate you or people to not give you compliments or to not give you any attention if that became you if that makes sense I don't know if I said that correctly but like if you became that person that you wanted to be and then all the people around you stop typing you up because they felt jealous of you you would feel very lonely and isolated and kind of like bad about yourself so don't be that person for someone else

and I guess this goes with my fourth way on how to manage this emotion but it is to shift your perspective from one that is bitter and kind of angry that they have what you have into one that is of inspiration you can go to them for advice you can ask them for tips and start acting in ways that will help you be where you want to be the other thing that I want to say in terms of stopping comparison is that a lot of the times if we're trying all these things and it's just

not helping you still feel all these negative emotions I I don't know if this is like the best advice and I I know that maybe this isn't an option for a lot of scenarios but like you can also distance yourself from this person you know if there's someone that's constantly coming in your life and they just don't make you feel good about yourself or you aren't at that level or healed enough yet where you can take that envy and funnel it into one of good and instead it just makes you feel bad about yourself being

next to them or being around them first of all remind yourself that you're doing this to yourself because the other person's probably minding their own business but if this is the case you can also just avoid this person or the situation like you can check yourself out of that and maybe not hang out with this person as much or not surround yourself with these types of people or if it's online unfollow the people that make you feel bad about yourself because there is no reason to be hurting your own feelings if you don't need to

be and if you aren't at the stage where you can not feel bothered by them for example I'm going to talk about something that I feel like I was feeling a while back there was a phase where I was like this is so stupid this is kind of embarrassing but I'm being very honest and I'm being vulnerable and open with you guys so do not judge but there was a phase where I was like I want to be a model and I want to do runway and whatever anyways I feel like maybe it could still

happen but with this mindset I was like looking at all these models and you know all the treatments I do all the workouts they do and I felt so overwhelmed that I was like they're just so skinny they are so tall they have Perfect Skin they have perfect noses they have perfect hair like my hair isn't good enough and instead of having that as inspiration I just started feeling super like should I not eat that should I work out again should I go get BOTOX should I go get like a hair mask extension should I

get an eyelid like an eyelash lift do I need a facelift like I was getting super analytical of my appearance to a point where like girl it's not even healthy anymore this isn't helping you and why are you putting this much pressure on yourself to be someone that you are not and to go in a career path that no one's asking you to go in so instead I kind of checked myself out of that situation and I was like hey I don't need to do this right now I don't want to do this I don't

care that much to be like this so Fernanda stop putting yourself through the pain of comparison to these models that were literally born this way or have been doing this since they were so young and I also just want to point out that this was just like a scenario that happened for literally like one week like I just obsessed about it for like a few days and then I was like okay we're not doing this anymore and I remember telling my friends and my friends were like you know what maybe this isn't the best route

for you like if this is all you can think about and it's actually just becoming unhealthy then there's no point in doing it so I just wanted to point that out there that like if there's something that's bothering you or making you feel down about yourself or making you feel like you're not enough literally check yourself out of that you no one's forcing you to be there and you're just putting like mental strain on yourself that you do not need and also I just want to put in there because we're talking about like appearance and

whatever that your appearance or your shell of a body is just something that is a vessel I was talking about this with one of my friends recently and she was saying that her body is just like a shell like your soul is what truly matters inside and your little shell on the outside and this could actually go for anything thing really like materialistic things or where you live or your home or money or whatever all of this is in the external world and at the end of the day what really matters is you're inside and

your soul and we shouldn't be too hung up on what the outside looks like because looks fade materialistic things can break and die and it's just like it's not worth stressing out about it or disrupting your mental peace to be someone else or to impress other people it really doesn't matter at the end of the day so instead of focusing on those things and comparing yourself to other people focus on your internal world and how can you incorporate things or do things to make your inner self feel happier feel better feel more uplifted and to

enjoy your personality more to enjoy your soul more and to just like be a more High vibrational person so since we're on the topic about focusing on yourself I want to say that you should really make a list or take a personality test or just Journal about yourself and figure out what are your individual strengths and your favorite personality traits that you have or your unique qualities because I think the sooner you can identify your favorite qualities about yourself or the things that you look best in or the things that you like the most you

can become obsessed with the good traits that you have and obviously Obsession like to a certain extent obviously it is not necessary to think that you're above all these people or better than all these people but become obsessed with yourself and I think that there is nothing wrong with that if you figure out all your best traits or your best qualities for example you may be a very organized person or you may be a very charismatic person or you may be always on time or you admire the strength that you have the discipline that you

have your hard work that you always put into anything you do whatever it is if you can come out with a list of things that you really enjoy about yourself start to really like that person you know and I feel like when you have so many qualities that you like about yourself or maybe it's not even qualities maybe it's like you're figuring out what you look best in how you look best like maybe your ideal makeup routine your ideal silhouettes on your body type or you start doing like hobbies and you figure out what you're

really good at once you start start figuring out all those things this will build up your confidence and you may not even need to compare yourself to somebody else because everything you have is already within yourself and there isn't necessarily anything that you could want more or you don't want to be someone else because you're content with who you are and where you are and like everything about yourself that's not to say that there won't be people that will inspire you or maybe kind of motivate you to change something within yourself but it's not that

you want to be them where you want what they have it's just that it ignites something in yourself that's like damn I want to be more like this person which I think is totally fine again if it's in like a constructive Viewpoint remember that there's enough room for everyone to thrive and someone else's beauty or success does not take away from your own and yours is still enough and more than enough actually now the next thing that I wanted to talk about which I feel like also goes hand in hand with jealousy Envy comparison whatever

is that a lot of the times we may put people or situations or places in pedestals we kind kind of idolize them so much that we think it's everything and we may even be blind to the illusion that they're showing online if that's the case or how they're showing up in front of you you know there's a lot of really beautiful places but you have to remember that it's also your perspective and like maybe you took a vacation one time to New York and you were in a very good mental state or you were in

a very like healthy mental spot so you're putting New York on a pedestal and you're like I have to move there it's amazing it's great but in reality it's not even that the place was amazing and great it's that you were great and amazing in that place if that makes sense another scenario would be maybe influencers that you see online or celebrities or whatever I feel like I had this before I started in social media like I I was a consumer you know so I fell in the Trap I guess is the word of like

idolizing people online and being obsessed over influencers and celebrities or whatever and I wanted to meet everyone and when I first started in this social media journey I remember some people that were kind of like Inspirations or role models to me in this field they'd be like I don't know what the saying is but like it's not all that it seems to be like you may want to meet all these people but like trust me a lot of them are actually really mean or a lot of them don't have the same front that they show

online and I was like no that's not true I want to meet them they're so cool they're so inspirational and they work so hard and then I myself went to LA I met all these people that like I idolized before and I realized that they are all people you know as beautiful as they may be or as many followers as they have as as successful as you think they are they are just people at the end of the day and some of these people aren't even the nicest the kindest the funniest they could look different

in person than they do online not gonna lie like there's just a lot of people that you can build up in your head or even feel intimidated or you can put yourself lower down because you think they're all that but they're just as worthy as you are I feel like I've really gotten good at knowing my worth and not putting people above me and it's almost actually kind of crazy being in these environments listening to other influencers and obviously no names to be named but like I've heard conversations and a lot of people think that

they are even above other people because they have this or they have that and it's funny listening to it because at the end of the day we're like we're we're all people you know I said this at the beginning of this episode but there is a quote that says that nobody is me and that is my superpower and I love that and I I want that to be my mantra for like my Mantra I think it's Mantra I want that to be my mantra for the rest of my life because I think that there is

nothing better than being yourself feeling proud of your authentic self feeling proud of your personality feeling proud of your soul feeling proud of who you are as a person that nothing can sway your opinion or no one can rock you or shake you up or even seeing someone that has more than you you can see it as inspiration rather than something to be jealous of because you are content within yourself I feel like having this self-belief and self-assurance is what really helps me but if at any time I'm starting to deal with self-doubt I need

to remind myself that this is a mindset that I need to tap into you kind of have to switch it on and sometimes it's a conscious effort that you need to think of yourself very highly and you need to know your worth and though sometimes something may shift your opinion or you may kind of like forget who you are for a minute it you have to be able to reel back in and remember that and be proud of who you are and love yourself I was gonna say that one of the reasons why I feel

so highly of myself or that I could say like oh I really love me is because I spend a lot of time on me I spend a lot of time taking care of myself I spend a lot of time intentionally eating healthy I spend a lot of time working out I have put so much effort into like my YouTube channel my podcast whatever that it would be a crime to feel bad about myself or to hate myself or compare my journey to somebody else's when I have worked so hard to be where I am and

I feel like if that is something that you haven't thought about yet or someone hasn't said those words to you so maybe me saying them now can make you realize that within yourself that there is no need to compare yourself to someone else when you know how hard you've worked to get to this spot you know maybe you're in school and you've worked so hard you have a lot of validation through academics or through the type of person you are in your work and your work ethic or your drive or whatever and it's like it

is so mean it is actually mean and I need to remind myself that too like I'm talking to myself here but it is mean to compare yourself to someone else when you don't know their Journey you don't know what they've been through you also don't know what upper hand they have but you know yourself and you know how hard it is to be where you are now and even if you feel like you haven't worked that hard it's hard to be a human Okay so be proud of who you are and don't feel like someone

has what you want I'm gonna kind of like split who I'm talking to here because whenever I film my podcast I always imagine like I'm talking to an individual and it's a little bit hard when the age demographic can be like younger than me or older than me but I feel like if it's someone older than me and maybe you're comparing yourself to somebody else's success again use that as inspiration and I feel like something that I like to think about also is that we have all the time in the world and you know Kris

Jenner didn't become Kris Jenner until she was like 60 years old so like there is always work to be done there's always more to do and like the possibilities are endless you have to believe in yourself and believe in your own path you never know where it'll take you and I feel like that and it's self is such a relieving feeling that like your life is so long like yes it goes by really quickly but at the same time it is so long and there is so much time for you to achieve whatever you want

and if you feel jealous of where they are there's no reason why you can't do that either and in fact you have the blueprint you can see what they're doing obviously not in a copying way but like there's so many people in this world especially with technology that you can learn from or there's so many things to try so there's so much success to be had so much money to be earned and also so I know if there isn't anybody out there that has the path that you want or like there's nobody out there that

you necessarily want what they have that means that you are Paving your own unique way which is even better and now for somebody like younger than me I feel like a lot of people in high school um and this was me myself too like struggle with comparison with body image or appearance I feel like with social media it's really easy to get down on yourself or pick yourself apart because you want to look like some person or whatever but guys you are so young you have so much to go so much growing to do to

not only like mentally but like physically and those are the things that matter the least honestly I think we know this already but photos online a lot of it is edited a lot of it is fake and me even being in the industry I can see that if you are comparing yourself to someone else's lifestyle like for example I'm gonna say this here A lifestyle YouTuber I feel like I have a lot of people asking me oh Fernanda how can I do as much self-care as you how can I be as productive as you how

can I have the things you have whatever remember that you are still so young also if we are comparing to Lifestyles or specifically like self-care YouTubers or whatever you're only watching like 20 minutes of their entire day and you also don't realize how much free time they have and they don't have a schedule that they need to follow so that is why they have all this time and it's not necessarily realistic for every single person and a lot of the people that you look up to can be older than you so they've had so much

more experience so much more time so much more money I was not definitely by any means in this position now when I was like 16 17 18 literally 19. when you compare yourself to influencers online they have so much stuff that is free that is sent to them free treatments like facials and hair extensions and nails for free like there's just so many aspects that you don't think about and I feel like the older that you get you can be more aware to this and you can recognize that and be like okay they're living a

very unique life not everybody gets to live like this but I think when you are younger and you don't know that yet you can compare yourself to someone you see online maybe a YouTuber they have a very aesthetic home but it's also their career to have an aesthetic home like I feel like when you're younger you don't recognize those things and I think that is super important to recognize and if you haven't already I'm telling you this now you just need to step outside your home and look in the real world and see what are

people IRL doing around you I think I basically covered everything that I wanted to say in this episode we touched on all the ways that I would cope with Envy some stories where I have felt Envy before I think what I really just want to get across is that Envy is so normal it is so common I have felt it you have probably felt it it's okay what what you do with it is really what makes the difference you can either choose to let it consume you and you can become one of those bitter old

ladies or you can have the tools to acknowledge what it is really reflect on it see how you can take this situation into like a lesson for yourself and how you can develop and grow from this and use it to fuel you and inspire you and use it for good I just want you guys to remember that you are so special we are all unique for our own reasons and we all have the right to be a little bit obsessed with ourselves so stop trying to be like this other person stop trying to want what

this person has we can work harder we can work on ourselves we can try to make more money we can do better but do it for yourself not in competition towards anyone else and that is what's going to give you the most satisfaction and at the end of the day if you are comparing yourself to external factors remember that this is just your shell of a body okay what really matters is what's inside and comparison is a thief of Joy I feel like after even talking about all these things I feel the need to celebrate

my friends more and hype them up more not even because I'm like envious of them but I'm just like you know what that's such a nice thing to do why not make everyone feel good about themselves anyways you guys that is the end of today's episode I hope you enjoyed it if you did make sure to give this podcast a rating make sure that you give it a thumbs up on the YouTube channel and make sure you subscribe to the YouTube channel um I think we're like 3K away from 100K as I film this so

this week I will be taking a cute little pick with a cake and yeah I'm so grateful for you guys thank you for listening to the end of this episode if you're here I love you have a good day wherever you are I love you [Music]