Hello, my loves. Welcome back to Lavendaire. It's Aileen.
Today is the second video in our Transform Your Life Series. So if you're just joining in, this is a series where the goal is to transform our lives in all areas, and just get a really powerful start to 2025. Each video in the series will give you actionable takeaways and guided exercises to help you become your best self and transform your life in the new year.
So we're posting videos every Wednesday on this channel until the end of January for this series. So make sure you're subscribed and you click that bell to be notified of all the new videos. Here's a preview of the topics we have coming up.
Last week, we covered how to reinvent yourself, so how to become your ideal self. That one was really fun, really actionable, with six steps, and with all these videos, I'm including free Notion template worksheets that you can do along with the series. So the series has been inspired by our Artist of Life Workbook, which is our bestselling workbook to help you plan your best year yet.
There's so many guided exercises for self-discovery, self-love, goal-setting, and so much more, but I'm a person that loves worksheets and exercises and actionables, and so that's why I wanted to put this series together for those of you who want to do this as well for the new year. So if you're into this and you want a system to keep you accountable throughout the rest of the year, then check out the Artist of Life Workbook at shop. lavendaire.
com. Alright, so today's topic is life design, how to design a life you absolutely love. This is one of my favorite topics to talk about.
It's one of the cornerstone topics of Lavendaire. It's about life design or lifestyle design, whatever you wanna call it. But the whole point is just envisioning and clarifying what you want with this one precious life that you have.
So there are six steps that I'll share today, and the first step is simply clarify your dream life vision. I've done this exercise so many times with you guys on this channel, but to reiterate, this is a really important exercise that I think everyone, literally every single person needs to do. You need to start clarifying what you want.
So envision, okay, what is the dream life that I want? What would make me happy? What would make me fulfilled?
What would feel meaningful? Like, what kind of life would I live if I could have all the best things in the world, everything I wanted? Don't limit yourself, right?
Like, what life would I live and die happy, die completely, like, oh my God, that was just the best thing ever. So I love dreaming big, and I encourage everyone to do it because the sky's the limit. Literally aim high, because even if you don't get there all the way, at least you get pretty high.
Like, if you aim low, that's all you're gonna get. So don't limit yourself, and dream big, and be as broad or specific as you want. Maybe some of you don't know quite what you want, so start with whatever comes to mind.
I wanna be happy. I wanna have a family, right? I want to have loyal friends.
Or you could be really specific, like I wanna have this career. I wanna achieve these things. I wanna wake up at this time and do this during my day.
You know, you could think about, okay, what is the ideal day? What is the ideal week? What hobbies do I do?
How do I spend my weekends? How do I spend my vacation time? Who is around me in my life?
What are the people and relationships I have in my life? What kind of work do I do? How do I show up in the world?
How do I give back in the world, if any? Literally, there are so many angles you can come to this with, but everyone's life, everyone's desires are different, so go at it. Moving on to step two, define your core values.
So this is where you reflect on yourself and your life, and ask yourself, what truly matters to me and what matters the most? So in step one, you probably dreamed a bunch of things, and a lot of them, like, there might be a lot there, right, and some things might be more important than others. There's definitely a priority scale.
So the following questions kind of helps you pinpoint what really matters and what's truly important. So we're starting with values because values are the internal principles that drive us as human beings. They drive our lives and the way we live our lives, the things that we prioritize, and I love this question, like, what matters to you, what are your values, because it's different for everyone, right?
Some people might value honesty, integrity, compassion. Other people might value ambition, passion, action. And there are so many things that are worth valuing in the world, but everyone has different priority scale.
Some people might value family over work, some people vice versa. Some people value social connection. Some people value their solo time more.
There's just so many ways to answer this question, but it begins with self-reflection. What matters to you? After you've brainstormed your list of values, now do your best to try to prioritize them, or at the very least, star the most important ones.
Like, maybe you star like three most important values, or five most important values. Like, really, this is where you ask yourself, okay, what matters most? And the beauty of this exercise is it can change throughout your life, over time, right?
When you're young, you might value some things, and when you're older, your values might change, and so this is a list that you constantly can look at and ask yourself, does this feel aligned? Right, if things change, maybe your values have to shift and realign. So if you finished picking your top values, I'd love for you to share down below what are your top three values that you chose for yourself?
Step three, it's time to redefine success on your terms. Too often, most of us go through life, and we grow up with notions of success that other people have kind of implanted into our mind, and this is something that people don't do on purpose, but it just naturally happens when we grow up and operate in society, right? You might take in the notions of success from your parents, from your peers, from what the media tells you, and there's so much out there that it can feel like you are driven by what others want, and it's not something that you actually want for yourself.
So this is so important, is to take the time to ask yourself, what does success mean to me, and what do I do? Like, what kind of things make me feel successful? So often, what we are truly chasing in success is not really the external achievement itself, but it's the feeling we get for achieving those external successes.
So for example, people might think that making a lot of money is what's gonna make you feel successful, but the feeling that people want to get when they want to make a lot of money is they want to feel secure. They want to feel abundant. They want to feel like they can afford whatever they want, or they want to feel like they can take care of themselves and their family.
So it's more about the feeling, like, that you get from achieving that success, and that is why there are certain people who chase money, they might be super wealthy, and they don't even feel like it's enough. They don't feel like it's satisfied that feeling that they're craving, the feeling of I have enough, and so they keep chasing money, and they keep doing these things to stress themselves out, even though they already have so much. That's why you see people who have everything, they seem to have everything, but they're really depressed, and they're a mess in their life.
So it's not about just the external. Of course, the external has to do with it, but so much of it has to do with the internal and the feeling. So this is where you want to define what does success mean to me, and what is the feeling that I'm truly going for?
By the way, I have a video that goes even deeper into this exercise if you'd like to try that. It is redefining happiness and success. So I'll link it here and down below for you to check out.
Step four, identify your priorities. So this is the step where you ask yourself, what do I truly desire, and what do I truly need? So in step one, we kind of let ourselves dream big and wide, and then we start to like narrow things down by, okay, what do I really care about?
What does success mean to me? So this step is where you look at what you wrote in the previous three answers, and then you start to prioritize, okay, given what I shared and reflected on so far, what does that mean for me now? Like, what do I care about?
What do I truly need, right? Like, maybe you have this like crazy dream, but do I really need that right now? Like, what is the important thing to focus on now?
Maybe it is, okay, there's this one goal that is very important, or maybe it's I need to shift my mindset, or I need to shift my identity somehow in order to be the person to achieve these dreams. So this step is so open-ended because it's different for everyone, but this is your time to reflect and prioritize, okay, what is the next thing to focus on? What do I really need?
Step five is to reflect and realign. So this is another reflection exercise. This is actually the self-reflection wheel that's taken from our Artist of Life Workbook.
It's one of my favorite exercises to do every quarter to reflect on how you're doing in every area of life. So this is just another way, another framework to help you reflect on all the different areas of your life. You're rating, from one to 10, how am I doing in my career, in my personal life, in my relationships, in my finances, in my hobbies.
Like, there are so many areas of life, and of course, they all like weigh different values to you. Like, again, some may value career over relationships. Some might value relationships over careers.
So anyway, the point of this exercise is to kind of gauge how you're doing in all these different areas, and from there, you can reflect on, okay, if I say I value family, I rated myself like a three out of 10. It means that is an area that maybe I should work to improve. And so this gives you so much clarity on what you choose to work on or maybe choose not to work on.
Maybe you rate yourself low in an area, but you're like I choose to sacrifice that area because I care more about these other areas. Number six, the final step, is to set your next important goal and break it down into the next smaller steps that you can take towards that goal. So this step is similar to video one, the one about reinventing yourself.
Of course, after doing all this reflection is we want to break it down into the very next actionable step that we can take. And so it's helpful to kind of prioritize, okay, one goal that is important on this journey of designing my ideal life, and whatever that goal is, whether it's like a career goal or a personal goal, whatever it is, break that down into smaller and smaller bits, and then choose one to take next, right? This is the next action step that I will take.
I think the easiest way to approach our goals, no matter how big they are, is to break them down into smaller and smaller chunks, because the smaller they are, the more approachable they seem. When you just set a big goal and you leave it at that, you just look at the goal and you're like I don't know what to do with that, right? Like, I have no idea how to get there.
And so even though you might not know every single step to get there, you can at least brainstorm, okay, what would be some, like, steps that make logical sense? Like, what would be some next steps that could take me in the right direction? All that matters in this journey is that you are taking steps in the right direction.
Because the more you take steps forward, the more the next steps will reveal themselves. That's how life works. It unfolds as you take action.
Things start to make sense as you're on the path. So you don't have to feel like you need to figure it all out at once now. Like, you don't have to understand the path, but you just need to take action on the right path.
Congratulations. That's it for today's exercise. If you'd like to use our Notion templates, they're completely free.
I'll include the link down below for you to get the template for this entire series. And don't forget, we are posting new videos in this series every single Wednesday until the end of January. So next week, we have a video on setting our 2025 goals, so we're getting even more nitty-gritty and actionable.
If you wanna watch more in the series, you can check out the playlist here and down below. Don't forget to check out our new 2025 Artist of Life Workbook. If you want more exercises to become your best self and create your dream life, you can find it at shop.
lavendaire. com. You can open below for all of our links and upcoming events.
All right, sending you lots of love, and I'll see you in the next one. Bye.
