current position somewhere distance to destination quite Lots things were going fine the first few months life support worked the hydroponic systems were om nominal it was exactly halfway to the voyage let's say the problem started an atmosphere alert swoke me in my cabin stars were visible we must have fallen back into normal space I climbed into my hazard suit as per protocol then radioed the bridge but got no reply I ventured into the corridor a few academics were discussing something in a huddle what's this all about I said a question humans have been asking for
Millennia replied a philosopher no I said what's happening to the ship there was an alarm you should be wearing your hazard suits a political scientist said should is a moral prescription and you have not yet Justified your Authority had they been drinking no they stood up fine we should all go to the infirmary to get checked out I said they followed me but one straggler remained behind by the airlock an astronomer this way please I said it's so big out there he Murad staring through the porthole the main Drive must have shut down I said
let's go to the infirmary yes what if those stars are just a projection he moment they're not I said or a hologram or some classified technology we don't even know about yet space I said what if space is a hologram can you prove it isn't he asked no could anyone yes further empirical investigation is needed he declared sure I said take a stroll outside and see if that's empirical enough for you he got into the airlock and depressurized it before I could stop him his frozen body floated past the port window I stared in horror
for a while at his petrified dead eyes then the philosopher said surely what if that was a hologram too possible the biologist agreed let's run the experiment again and check for anomalies what the f I said something is very wrong and you will need to come with me to the infirmary and who are you the captain huh one said no I said why would I be the yeah why not I'm the captain they exchanged a confused glance looked me up and down then began saluting with sincere gushings of sir it's such an honor to the
infirmary was Bedlam crew and academics swinging from lampshades disassembling medical machines with hammers I found the chief surgeon thankfully she was wearing a hazard suit something is wrong with the crew I said don't I know it she replied I found these three in the corridor I said there were four originally but yeah I've never seen hysteria like this could they be hypoxic oxygen is normal she said it's not hypoxia I'll examine them I brought the biologist to her she helped him onto a table and Shone a light into his eyes reflex is normal she said
pulse is good nurse fetch some bananas she peel one and fed it to the biologist then handed me the bunch one in the morning one in the evening he'll be fine potassium deficiency I said oh no he's hungry he's not hungry I just watched one of them space themselves at the goddamn airlock it was then that I noticed the left glove of her Hazard suit was missing look I said I really don't want to be rude but you've clearly been exposed to whatever this is a contagion or an ammonia leak or something a contagion she
said I think so I dim flicker of sense seemed to pass over her face she nodded and said Gravely we'll switch to emergency protocols perfect I said what do I do go to the galley yes I said find the main Pantry yes I said fetch as many bananas as possible and back into the corridor and the situation was degenerating further full-on fist fights breaking out now another Frozen corpse past the starboard window the radio room was signposted the door open inside a technician was listening intently to something on headphones and how are you feeling I
said oh I'm fine he replied he offered me the headphones and added with a terrified stare but there are tiny people trapped in here I grabbed a headset the radio frequencies were Anarchy or static or yelling a man at the X-ray Center reported some kind of solid white parasite had infiltrated his body and he was doing his best to remove it that's your skeleton I said my Skellington he whispered skeleton I said Ella there's no ing just stay there hopefully I can in the whale of an axle grinder rang out followed by screaming then the
line went dead someone banged on the door I opened it to a gaggle of archivists they stared in open horror at my hazard suit are you an extraterrestrial one demanded sure yeah I said my name is zobalon and I'm most displeased with your behavior of late do any of you have the emergency frequency code someone produced a piece of card with a shaking hand thanks be good to each other I set and resealed the door the emergency frequency was just static I strongly considered spacing myself at last incredibly a distant voice came on and said
is someone there yes I said who's that the narrativists I'm on the bridge narrativists I thought that wasn't the profession on the crew roster are you wearing a hazard suit I asked no the bridge is on a separate ventilation system no one was affected her thank god listen he said most of the bulkheads are emergency seals but you're at comms right that's not too far from ventilation we can fix this what do I do I said is there a port radio I found one in the desk good he said tune it to this frequency I'll
guide you it won't take long I unsealed the door again to 50 or so bowing crew now zorbalon they cried we've been good to each other what is your next decree I crunchy peanut butter is best I said under no circumstances tolerate people who fecklessly mispronounce words there's no ing in skeleton no X in espresso God's Willy they bowed lower and muttered holy chance amongst themselves what's going on there the man who called himself The Narrative is said over the radio is fine straight down the hall then we need the antidote first deck 5 and
a pack of anthropologists were stripping down to their underwear and brandishing curtain poles excuse me I said what the hell is this we demand the absolute abolition of Technology Juan said this crafts its machinations they are anti-human this craft is the only thing keeping us alive I said can you all just stay calm until I give you the antidote to all this they screamed and raised their curtain poles I fled in the next Corridor a few mathematicians were climbing into Mech suits what do you think you're doing the anthropologists have gone mad when mathematicians said
we can't have backwards ideologies infiltrating the pantheon of reason no it's fine I said it's just group hysteria I'll fix it and then what she said what if the ideas take hold what if reason collapses entirely do you think killing people in the name of reason is a reasonable thing to do I said primitivist heretic she cried they came after me too what is this I asked my disembodied friend on the radio worse than you know what's your security clearance ah janitor level I said what I mean I'm a janitor so if you know any
any secrets about window cleaner I'll keep those real good for you he was silent a moment then said this isn't just a colonist ship you don't say it's a pacification Mission The Colony World we're Bound for they've been making rebellious noises for years now the governance thought it was time to put them in their place before a proper Uprising happened a Corporal stepped out from the corridor and pointed a dagger in my direction have you made your bed he screamed yes I said have you cleaned your boots have you sworn allegiance to your respective Sovereign
territory ten times before breakfast I assured him he examined my dirty shoes yelled liar and came at me with the dagger we played cattle Mouse for a while through the CO2 filters and I threw him off eventually it's the logothesia said the narrativist the logo what it must have gotten into the ventilation system somehow the latest in psychological warfare it's an Airborne nanoagent doesn't damage the combatant no memory loss but I said but it resets their narrative frame to zero narrative frame belief structure then it's not working everyone's gone wackadoodle I said the gas is
working fine it was just deployed too early I said but how is that even a remotely useful weapon and Darkly suddenly it hit me you were going to release this on the colony world when we arrived yes the narrative is set no fighting no resistance just complete world for you collapse the first few minutes of inhalation are critical the subject must be provided with the replacement narrative else they'll invent their own usually something ridiculous and inventing a replacement worldview for them is your job I suppose I said Mr narrativist yes what was going to be
the new narrative for the columnists I said glory to the Empire keep Daft and carry on something like that he said there's not much time the bridge in the outer ring of the ship are on a separate ventilation system but we need to give everyone the antidote just in case you should be at chemical storage in a moment your security code should get you in did I mention the janitor part I said the computer says all the officers have fled their posts or expired other than me that makes you the highest ranking person aboard I
I coded the door he was right about the sudden promotion it slid aside barrels of lithium and God knows what else were piled to the ceiling the purple canisters that's the antidote will flood the whole system with it restore everyone's Baseline ideology he said just three canisters should be enough wheel them over to the applique events they were Wicked heavy but I rolled them over as he asked about to feed them into the ventilation system I said where's the captain gone mad like the others it's just you up there there isn't time for explanations is
the antidote connected the ship rocked with a distant explosion I connected the hose all done I said now what ventilation control is on the bridge I need your retina scan for that if you wouldn't mind coming up here what about your clearance I said the system needs two staff to unlock it be quick please things were getting violent now militias of mathematicians stalk the corridors yelling that reason would save the world a pack of anthropologists set upon them with chair legs for swords and lampshades for Shields screaming of technopoly I said to the radio I
thought their memory stays intact how can they believe this nonsense memory isn't the problem the narrativeist said eat as many facts as you like is the digestion of those facts that matters but surely there is always at least one correct interpretation I said he purred the most seductive ideology is that you have no ideology isn't that kind of an ideology in itself I said no reply I pushed on through the swimming baths where crew were being baptized and drowned alike in the name of zobalon and wait what's this I said zorbalon has returned they cried
oi are you doing a cult I said yes mum replied and drowning those who mangle pronunciations I said to be good you said to be good to each other one of the crew replied those who make Elementary pronunciation mistakes are not of our ilk I obviously meant to be good to people in general I said well you should have been more specific in your wording I was wrong then no more killing all right do I have to spell out every tenant of this to you there was a long silence then someone said tenant that's a
lodger don't you mean tenet their eyes grew perplexed then suddenly enraged no I said no no stop that clambering from the water slipping about on the tiles they came after me I raced out into the main Atrium the door to the bridge was blocked by berserk academics chalk and curtain poles flying the zorbilonians joined the battle fighting only with bare hands and dictionaries is there another way to the bridge I yelled into the radio through the activist quarters my friend replied down the main stairwell then left manifestos scrawled on bulkheads in blood iconography everywhere deathly
Eddies in a single Great Sea of Faith gravity felt weaker suddenly the centrifuge must be failing a structural Integrity alarm began to ring out then a critical oxygen level warning I found the door and it slid aside stalked by chalk and chair legs I raced in I found myself in a boundless expanse of white Mists of marble of opulent Thrones and pauper's straw beds probably just a projection but a high resolution one on Golden tables were rotting grapes on cracked brick walls hung paintings so expensive I'd never even seen those colors in Hues before what
is this I whispered my quarters my friend said Keep Your Head or try I walked in no Direction forward if that was forward passing Frozen facsimiles of churches holding Mass robe devotees prostrating before Fallen profits I passed great mechanisms that shot refolding beams of light into the heavens and devotees prostrated before those things too though they wore white coats and medals about their necks these are your quarters I said just so he replied what I do takes a certain Clarity of mind let's say I am afforded affordances for that in the far distance fluttered National
sigils and planetary flags and Below them marched armies marched pilgrimages smart robots and Beggars all of them Bound for some inscrutable point in the distance so bright I couldn't look directly at it what is all this I said ideologies he replied all the ideologies of the empire of every Empire Superstition scientism all of it why to do what I do I must remain objective he said and the most seductive ideology is that you have no ideology isn't that the kind of ideology in itself I said again no narrativists are genetically engineered for ideological immunity we're
endeared in no Direction not towards our families not against our enemies all Mythic systems are equal to us absolute objectivity you believe in nothing I said the blind don't see black they just don't see I don't believe in nothing I just don't believe I'm neurologically incapable of it then you use all that objectivity to cook up new narratives I said to pacify Rebel populations you and your precious logothesia sometimes that's horrific maybe but we are the horrors the Empire's peace is founded the Beggars and robots were distant now marching at a constant Pace many fell
perhaps from exhaustion perhaps from Despair and their Brethren trampled atop them walking always constantly towards that great blinding light where are they going I whispered to the big better the narrative is said to the always better to that one right thing hidden beneath all the wrong things God I said maybe or no God or a final Theory or the end of all theories the promise that tomorrow things will hurt less than today the lights called to me Beyond language Beyond Reason towards the place where everything must be better I hoped where one could lay down
the burden of fearing that this was all As Good As It Gets Refuge from Desperate uncertainty respite from the always snapping jaws of a world that both didn't care enough and cared too much delivery from the ancient promises that had never delivered and I felt my body drawn in its direction watched my feet begin to trudge towards it you won't like that my friend said and sure enough as I neared the lights my feet began to warm then son I cried out tried another route but same again the floor was a flame it's a test
you see the narrativist said a reminder not to go near the everything promise God why I said because Deliverance is the only promise that matters and I must be reminded daily that it is not promised to me narrativists are the only creatures prohibited else we become just as ineffective and Wayward as you animals I went to rebuke him but he said focus on my voice the elevator to the bridge it's just a head now Focus I so desperately wanted to keep walking towards anything better than the mundane always of a future that looked like the
past of status and stasis and the oversaturated satiation of every meal only leaving one hungrier the soporific Cavalcade of atom bombs and lemonade and focus he snapped since suddenly cursedly I watched the pilgrimage Vanishing into the light then vanish if they had ever existed at all they were gone now the elevator was just ahead it spun up and there in its glittering Majesty was the bridge a bald man of indeterminate age was sat in a captain's chair looking out on the Stars how do you do he said with the voice of my friend you can
take your hazard suit off now I think I'll keep it on for a while just in case as you like he said his face betrayed no emotion elated as a rock his eye is watching the galaxies in perfect indifference of their Grandeur the oxygen alarm began to grow more urgent I glanced at the system status why is the main computer disabled I said it controls life support safety measure he replied your retinol print please I looked into the scanner it seemed to accept my eyes doesn't the system need your retina too I said he ignored
this only bowed deeply in gratitude distant fans began to wear as the bridge filled with thugs of gas there he said the nanoagent should be making its way across the entire ship now the antidose you mean are corrected antidote he said academic directly from the Greek Dai donai to give an ante against literally to give against okay I said what is this antidote giving against though do you imagine um I said through the bridge door I saw the great armies still fighting beating one another into submission will they stop that soon if we give them
a reason to the narrativist replied okay the oxygen alarm bled louder in any case we need to turn the main computer back on now otherwise we'll suffocate he took another large breath side favorably then murmured when I was young my mother told me that the stars were angel's eyes Watching Over Us yeah but they're not I said turn the main computer back on please when I was young my father told me the oceans were the tears of gods tears they cried upon seeing how beautiful their worlds were maybe I said it might all just be
water about the computer but when I looked there was no magic to be found the world was but Blueprints and protons and mud what a thing prohibited from belief he took another gulp of air and looked terribly satisfied but I see it now or I believe that I believe I do to look upon the cosmic eyes that watch to staunch the cosmic tears that fall the armies only grew more incensed than their fighting the oxygen alarm began to ring desperately there never was an antidote I said realizing now it depends what you consider an antidote
he replied and now the log of easier is everywhere and you're breathing it too why they locked me out of ventilation control halfway through the procedure how lucky then that I found you you're out of your mind I said a matter of perspective some things are Beyond perspective nothing is he said walk left of here 400 years and you'll reach a planet where the inhabitants worship a bronze Centaur forever pacified by the thought of his Rattan and they are happy for that walk right of here 700 years and you'll reach a planet where the inhabitants
only worship themselves cities of mirrors they can barely tear themselves from and there's no time for war or Uprising and they are happy for that I did these things manufactured a Stillness of their hearts but a torture accompanied it a Stillness that I could not believe as an author barred from reading his own work it was too much their stupid smiling faces their opiate Bliss it's a one day you don't all go mad from Joy with the narrative tricks you play on yourselves my God I said you wanted to know what belief is and you've
sabotaged the entire voyage for that this is a new Voyage he said we're going inwards not without oxygen I said not if the ship is in bits you know belief ends where data begin right that was the old way he said we're going to try a new one no I said the crew didn't agree to this Daydreams of grandeur won't do it and he said but isn't Beauty truth and truth beauty and I said nothing pretty about cow but that's real too and he said six blind men only know one part of the elephant and
I said but there is still an elephant and he said half the truth is often a great lie and I said yeah and sometimes it isn't and he said but surely there's more truth and deception than faithful tellings could ever muster and I said no and I don't even think that's a quote some stuff is real otherwise it's just lying oxygen is real as is how we're running out of it now your belief that isn't happening will do very little to change that give me control of the damn computer or will suffocate inside of an
hour he ignored this completely said you're wrong belief is the foundation of reality no I said reality is that which when you stop believing in it doesn't go away and do you believe that he asked of course ah then you do start with belief oh God this is pointless I said you'll say anything to be right and he said what if humans don't need oxygen at all that we're smarter and purer for breathing nothing I can't argue with you if you aren't even willing to concede the most basic facts about reality why would I lie
about this who do you think I'm working for big oxygen I'm begging you to come back to truth lest you break the world for all of us and he said truth is what your contemporaries let you get away with and I said but I'll bet none of them deny the existence of gravity there are facts and he said facts the devil can cite studies for his purpose and I said then I guess the devil has basic scientific literacy just a misinth with thesaurus I'm sorry you're having some kind of megalomaniacal personal crisis but don't drag
us all into it we're alone in space we only have each other if we don't do something you're gonna kill us all and then there'll be no one left to believe in anything believe that at least he reached for the bridge console our bearing began to change the Stars swiveling what are you doing the Stars settled again how a new course set we will point it into a patch of boundless black he started prodding at the pseudospace controls there's nothing out there I said not for thousands of light years ahead where are we going Beyond
he said there's enough log of these here on board for a whole planet we'll use as much as we need and each day we'll breathe it in and start our beliefs Anew the pseudospace generator began to come to life sending a shudder through the hull beginning our acceleration I said please don't be a child we all live here and we're almost out of time time he said on Monday we'll believe in dragons on Tuesday we'll decry Superstition Wednesday will assert the purity of love Thursday the catharsis of hate on Friday we'll believe in everything Saturday
nothing and on Sunday will rest too fast then approaching hypergeometry the struts began to buckle portholes began to crack trembling with blueprints pushed well beyond the limits by an incompetent pilot and above the blinking warning lights in the control panels of the Wailing of danger Sirens there the narrativist floated his nose pushed to the glass of the bridge waiting for that great beyond where the invented or discovered you've killed us all I said and like the incompetent scorpion on the Frog's bag he'll drown to the acceleration was becoming too much the crush of g-forces pushing
blood from the brain and sense from the sensors as we approached Oblivion and there on the floor below the fog of befuddling gas before the promise of coming death I laid down in defeat for there was nothing left to do and then there was only nothing [Music] I woke to the narrativist standing over me the maniac was taking my helmet off what are you doing I shouted he said unbounded from your nutshell you may now count yourself a king of Infinite Space I held my breath but it was too late my lungs stung already the
logarithisia rewriting me down to the brain stem my mind I said I repeated my name over and over anything to hold on to until it suddenly seemed strange to me I had a name at all are we dead I said quite the opposite he replied we're going on an adventure the bridge door was open the narrativist beckoned ahead it's not safe out there I said isn't it what do you see Anarchy hate death and I said I think you're wrong I see a grand party in our honor and slowly I began to see it too
he led me into the corridor the chromium panels of the ship were gone replaced with curtains and drapes elegant and opulent is this real I said is anything but the oxygen I said weekly oxygen levels very naturally he said but I feel like they're about to vary really badly isn't that a fact we're going Beyond oxygen Beyond facts all your life you've been tyrannized by so-called facts but I ask you what if the world were as we wish it to be what if red was blue and five was two plus two what if those aren't
fights amongst the crew but dances what if all the oxygen is evacuated from the ship and we find we've been lied to our entire lives by the powers that be and the brains actually function better without air Like A Brave fish out of water or Samson finding he is only stronger without his hair what if that terrible shuddering is not the miscalibrated pseudospace generator about to explode as we jump to pseudospace but an orchestra tuning up for the greatest Symphony ever played and you and I find ourselves the guests of honor there Stars began to
dissolve everything fading to diaphanous hypergeometry and pseudospace embraced us our course poorly set but perhaps none of that mattered now and my friend said what if we were never on a voyage but instead attending a great and grand ball of infinite plenty what if we can eternally play make-believe thereby delaying the end of the world if we only believe hard enough that the world isn't ending what if you and I are destined to ride in unfettered bespoke figure eights upon Noble beasts on Limitless beaches pushed Softly on by the wind of the truths we create
foreign [Music]
