how many times have you heard this phrase you can't please everyone it depends on who you are talking to somewhere in the world it said every single day hello everybody my name is William Baker I've been happily married for 26 years 3 months and 21 days I met Julia at a Rick James concert in Cleveland Ohio in 1985 Julia was just beautiful she was wearing the tightest jeans I had ever seen at the time that's when I first learned what a camel toe was I had heard the expression but had no idea what it meant
until I met Julia she had the sweetest smile and sparkling green eyes it was like looking at a lake at midnight her eyes twinkled I was blown away at first sight I was at the concert with my brother Harry and cousin Mike Harry took us along because his girlfriend Sarah could only go to the concert if her sisters were with her Sarah was the oldest Julia was the youngest and Mike ended up with 230 lb Martha Martha scared the hell out of me my height was 185 lb and Mike was smaller than me aside from
Martha being such a big girl the night went great Mike relaxed and enjoyed Martha's company Julia and I had a great time ourselves I hated it when the concert was over to make a long story short 6 months later Julia and I got married the wedding was a blast and didn't end until 6:30 in the morning during the night Julia and I sealed our vows twice before midnight night and one more time before we left for our honeymoon the next 25 years passed like a blur I turned 46 and had four children William Jr 24
Mildred 22 Justin 21 and Hank 19 I didn't really like the name Julia chose for the kids but Mildred was her aunt's name and the rest were from her favorite boy band anything to keep my wife happy because as the saying goes if mommy isn't happy nobody is Julia was 45 and if I may say so Julia was is and always will be a hot little mommy many of our friends found it hard to believe that Julia was the mother of four grown children what they didn't know was that Julia was a certified health nut
she ran walked jogged exercised ate right and like a woman on a mission I hate to admit it but I had to occasionally buy little blue pills on the black market to keep up with her everything was going well until Hank left for college this caused Julia to change in some ways she started wanting sex more started wearing very revealing clothes and started showing off her camel toe again at first I thought she was getting sexier for me until I saw her on her way to work in a black micro mini skirt something was going
on here and I was going to find out what it was when Julia got home from work I motioned for her to sit down she looked at me and said she knew what I wanted to talk about but she didn't have time right now William I have a date so I'll talk to you in the morning I know you're upset that I screwed you over like this but you can either go with the flow or move out if you file for divorce it will cost you too much and it will destroy the kids I'll end
up with half of everything and you'll be left a lonely broke old man Julia said it was said with a complete lack of respect and I got the feeling that it had been long planned for the past few years Julia has shown signs of lack of respect for me most people think that if you speak softly you must be some old wimp I guess my need to keep my cool was just wearing me down but this was something else entirely Julia must be out of her mind if she thinks she's going to go out and
some and come back like I'm just that kind of guy you know he's sitting there crying over his beer about his wife sleeping with some guy in his bed that's me my little feeling was hurt but I can't live without her so for the whole next year he lets her sleep with as many guys as she wants and then she leaves him anyway that never happened to me cheat and your ass is out the door Julia I'm only going to say this once if you think about me try plan or ever cheat on me it
will be the worst day of your life over the years I have expressed my attitude toward cheating wives many times I told you that if you try to cuckold me you your lover and everyone involved will pay she rolled her eyes and went upstairs to the bedroom I went to my room and called Harry I told him everything that was going on Harry I was hoping this day would never come but if she goes through with it the plan will go into effect tomorrow it was a plan we made back in college to save time
and money in the event of a divorce Julia didn't know we didn't own anything well not the house anyway she owned her car and so did I but our house was in Harry's name Harry's house was in Mike's name and Mike's house was in my name Julia wasn't involved cuz Mike got married before we did and it was my personal property if we divorce there could be problems with Mike and Harry's wives but we've made Provisions for that too hopefully she'll come to her senses and change her mind talking to Harry I heard the front
door slam she had 2 hours to change her mind and after that to her it was 8:30 in the evening the next morning Julia finally went home it was just over 10:00 a.m. Julia was worried about William she called home several times to see how he was doing but got no answer as she drove Julia pondered trying to figure out how to get William aboard the plane last night was the best night of my life I had sex with three young studs my jaw and ass hurt but I had a great fall it was worth
it hell William will be fine how do I get William to let this happen on a regular basis I love him but I need more than he can give I will have him until he voluntarily becomes a cuckold it will be hard on him but he knows he can't live without this broad he'll do it because he loves me so much that was Julia's plan but William had other plans when Julia got home Harry's car was parked in the lot and the U-Haul truck was parked in the driveway Harry Mike and William were loading boxes
into the truck Julia asked Harry what was going on Harry said the landlord wants you to pack your and get out of the house Julia got angry and tried to stop them Harry called the police when the police arrived the first officer asked who the owner of the house was William raised his hand the officer pulled William back to the truck and another officer LED Julia around the truck so she could explain her side of the story while she was talking to the Officer William waved his hand at Harry William and Harry talked to the
police officers for 10 minutes the officers then discussed the situation between them for a few more minutes they both approached Julia and asked her to leave the property Julia asked why she was being forced to leave the house and Harry was being allowed to stay the officer told her that the homeowner wanted her to leave they told her it was a civil matter it is not against the law to evict the owner but if the time limit wasn't more than 30 days she could sue him in small claims court but in that time she had
to vacate the apartment and since her name wasn't on the title or the mortgage she had to leave Julia rolled her eyes at William and walked away William shouted your is going to be at your mom's house in the next 20 minutes Julia didn't look back as far as she was concerned William and Harry would pay for this Julia didn't go to her mom's house she went to Harry's house and told his wife Cindy what was going on Cindy didn't like what Julia did but she understood her it seemed to her too that life was
passing her by Cindy called Harry's cell phone and told him about how things were going with William and his silly Pride Cindy informed Harry that sometimes women's lives take a turn and they might break a few rules while trying to find themselves Harry sat and listened to his wife and then replied Cindy if by breaking rules you mean spending too much money breaking my truck or quitting my job and lying about it then those are rules I can live with but if you're talking about going out and sleeping with a few guys then you're not
the woman I married and we need to go our separate ways Cindy thought about what Harry had just told her Harry worked paid all the bills she had credit cards and access to all the money not to mention Harry made love to her three or four times a week and when she started to feel old like she was no longer sexy harry would come over drop her off anywhere available and shake the out of her it didn't happen often but when it did she felt so sexy she was on top of the world they went
on vacations all over the world Cindy thought about it for about 45 seconds how would I live without Harry Cindy shook her head as if trying to shake off a cobweb my life doesn't pass me Me by Harry is my life Cindy asked Harry what time he would be home Harry replied that in a couple hours Cindy agreed told Harry she loved him and said goodbye then with fire in her eyes Cindy looked at Julia get the hell out Julia you dumbass you ruined your life and now you're trying to ruin mine I love my
husband he takes care of me he pays for everything we have and has never complained once he put our three kids through col colge and helped each of them buy their first car he treats me like a queen and because you decided to fool around until you were old you ruined your life did you know William was going to take you to Spain get your ass out of my house before I become an idiot and join you Julia was beginning to think that maybe this was a mistake Julia left Cindy and went to her mother's
house Cindy on the other hand was on her way to Victoria's Secrets she looked for the sexiest thing she could find and bought it all the way there Cindy mumbled to herself I'm not ruining my life you stupid Cindy then stopped by Jay's adult bookstore and bought a bottle of lube and two videos when Harry entered the house Cindy was lying in the middle of the dining room table with a bottle of lube in one hand and a bottle of her's chocolate in the other she smiled and said honey the choice is yours needless to
say Harry had a great night of sex William didn't hear from Harry until Monday with Julia safely out of the house it was time for the second part of the plan the second part was to make Julia suffer the pain she was causing him was too much but William was going to cry over spilled milk Julia would suffer as much as he did when Julia reached her mother's house her Swagger returned to her William won't realize what hit him when she's done I'm going to clean his ass out I'm going to own him and everything
he owns a few days later Julia wondered why William hadn't tried to call her Julia emailed texted and left hundreds of messages for William she knew he was getting them William was just being stubborn in Julia's opinion William couldn't live without her at that moment Julia thought William is thinking about me right now she was right he was thinking about why he put up with her crap for so long William had always loved her wholeheartedly so it seemed to her Julia's mother wondered how long her daughter had been looking at life through Rose colored glasses
well it was time to wake her blind ass up life is hard and then you die Julia do you have a maid mom asked the question brought Julia out of her revery Julia do you have a maid no ma'am Julia replied then get your lazy ass over here and clean up go to the baby it's Dawn and you have things to do Mom told Julia Julia hoped she would be home soon she knew her mom was a slave slave it had been 4 days of living hell with her mom clean this wash that rearrange your
lazy ass Julia didn't know how much more she could take Julia Baker is that you Julia didn't recognize the man but he had to know her from somewhere Julia answered that yes it was me he was a bad-looking man so she smiled sweetly at him he handed her the package said you've been served and left service what was serviced thought Julia Julia's mom went outside to check on Julia and found her passed out in the front yard it was Williams divorce papers Julia's mom turned on the water hose and splashed her in the face Julia
woke up and hissed Julia looked at the papers and was about to pass out again when her mom splashed her again Julia get your lazy ass up and get in the house stop napping in the yard mom what should I do Julia asked Julia I blame your father he's been blowing Sunshine up your ass for years if we had taught you to think and act like a woman instead of your father treating you like a princess you wouldn't be here now Julia you know how your father and I grew up life on the farm was
hard long hours long days and short nights your father wanted the best for you so he sacrificed so you could have a better life and you spit on his sacrifices your father loved William as one of our sons your father would roll over in his grave if he knew you were coming to him as a I listened to you call William and how the hell it was his fault you couldn't keep your legs closed I wanted to come over punch you in the face and kick your stupid ass out of my house you just released
the best thing in your life Julia there are millions of women who want a man like William he's a catch he's loyal he works hard and he doesn't complain he'd die for you and you've given up on him because you feel ugly and you're getting old so what if you're not going to live forever that's not going to happen we all live and we all die some faster than others if your father was alive today I'd be gouging out his eyes and you'd be sleeping on the porch but instead I'm explaining life to a 45-year-old
dumbass Julia we didn't raise a but that's exactly what you turned out to be Julia your sweet spot is not made of silver gold or platinum nor does it have Superman's cape hanging out of it just so you know the only difference between sex and love is the feeling you have for the person you're having sex with let's go back to the day you lost your husband you went and had sex but where did you go after you were done you tried to go home why Julia thought for a moment this is my home Mom
this is where I belong and that's why you're sitting here alone now Julia her mom said you gave Williams home your body was his home and you ruined it you made him unclean your body took him to new heights but now you're just another who's lost her mind and blames everything on her husband he's not young hot buff or horny but I have a question for you sweetheart where are your studs now Julia's mom looked around I don't see them anywhere where is your husband Julia William is in that house you called home and don't
think for a minute that he doesn't miss you he does but not for long some Lonely Woman with bigger breasts and a sexier ass will come along and help him forget you but isn't that what you did to him you forgot he was your husband now he won't be her Mom hated talking to her like that but she needed to make Julia see the real world Julia had always lived in her own little world now it's up to her to realize that life isn't so simple Julia is about to get a dose of reality Julia
and her lawyer sat at a table across from William and his attorney Julia had hired John Patterson who was known for helping women get large settlements Julia hoped that this would get William to agree to counseling she hoped he would call off the divorce John recognized William's lawyer but couldn't remember where he'd seen him so he assumed it was a newcomer fate could play a cruel joke Williams lawyer began Mr Patterson my name is Kyle Jacobs I will be representing Mr Baker JN felt like a restraining order had been placed on him Kyle Jacobs was
a representative of Jacobs Jackson beard and Hall of Wall Street in New York City excuse me my client and I need a minute said John Julia wanted to know what was going on Julia and her attorney stepped out into the hallway Julia is your husband Rich JN asked not rich but we are fine why do you ask Julia Julia the attorney who represents your husband's interests is the best divorce attorney in the country according to the law review he's represented Senators billionaires Millionaires and at least half of the fortunate 500 in his last case the
husband was worth $12 billion and his wife demanded half old Kyle got her to settle for a harlem apartment and $25,000 half the lawyers on his staff are former judges his personal attorney is a former Supreme Court Justice how can he afford a firm like that JN asked Julia was finally getting worried she finally realized how badly she had screwed up in the conference room William you know you should call me and Mike more often after all we are related said Kyle John and Julia didn't know that Kyle Mike Harry and William were cousins they
didn't get together often and the last time they had met was 10 years ago and William remembered that Julia didn't want to go he wondered if she was cheating then they returned to the house William and Kyle were talking about their upcoming golf trip Kyle you caught me off guard I was planning to seek counseling from a counselor but I was wondering what you had planned planned for my client John asked Kyle replied John it's simple Julia will walk out of here with the clothes on her back nothing more and nothing less John didn't realize
there was no one to bargain with Harry owned the house Julia had her own car her own checking and savings account as did William so there was nothing left Julia just didn't know it Julia jumped up and screamed no way in hell he can have it all I just want William back then she calmed down William talk to me alone for a few minutes please William looked at Kyle and nodded both lawyers left the room William I'm so sorry I ruined a beautiful marriage and hurt the man I love I will sign everything over to
you I don't care about any of this I just want you back I don't want to lose you to some sexy mommy but I'll share you if I have to William I'm begging you please think about it please don't end us without trying it at least once William looked at Julia she had always been beautiful to him but now all he saw in her was an old but he still loved her William told the lawyers to go back into the house Julia sign the papers you will get nothing no alimony no pension nothing if you
do we won't file the papers they will be held in a safety deposit box for one year Julia you screwed this up and you're going to have to fix it somehow Julia one year and you're out do you agree Julia Julia asked where do I sign Jon told her that once she signs you can't take it back Julia signed everything for a chance to prove to William that she loved him William I went a little crazy for a while but I would live in a dumpster behind the house and drink dog piss just for a
chance to be with you William didn't know what to say back so he remained silent William and Kyle left Julia was happy and went to her mom's house to get her things after packing everything she could carry in to the car she drove home humming to herself the whole way William would never regret giving her this chance when Julia pulled up to the house there was a note hanging on the door Julia come in make yourself at home Julia smiled to herself and thought to herself William loves me and is planning something special the note
said Julia watch the DVD just press play have a glass of wine while you watch you will need it Julia did as the note said on the DVD William had three of the sexiest women Julia had ever seen at the end of the DVD William came on stage Julia I've loved you most of my life you're the mother of my children you were my greatest love but you took that love and pooped on it for a night of wild monkey sex and missing excitement so I lost my lover friend and wife for one night of
wild sex let's see if your faith in me can withstand a year of enjoying myself the way you enjoyed yourself as you suggested to me if you can withstand a year I'll come back if not well life goes on the first month was a living hell for Julia but she hung in there the second month she got a new DVD it featured William and the same three women at the end of the DVD William said stay strong I'm rooting for you in the background she heard a woman's voice saying take her William why do you
need her when you can have all three of us Julia cried for a long time afterward but firmly believed that William would return on the fourth day of the fifth month there was a knock at the door when Julia answered it it was Kyle he handed her a letter from William Kyle looked at Julia and said if it's worth it I'm sorry then Kyle walked away Julia sat down and cried that was it William was leaving her Julia opened the letter Julia as much as it pains me to say it I'm filing for divorce you
lost your way and ruined our marriage for the last 5 months I've been screwed in every way possible all I can say is damn I'm tired you'll find me on the stairs asleep Kyle gave you that letter to get you out of the kitchen so I could sneak in if you cheat on me again I'll kill your ass you can take that to the bank you finally got your head out of your ass we're going to see a therapist even though I think it's the only thing I'll take responsibility for is not kicking your ass
before you left I didn't believe you'd go so I said I didn't think you'd get any love from me for a while I'm too pooped to drink love William Julia looked at the letter again it said William was upstairs Julia ran to the bathroom and washed her face she took off all her clothes and ran upstairs Julia stopped in front of their bedroom door please don't let this be a mean joke she opened the door William wasn't there she fell to her knees and began to cry then she heard the shower turn off and the
bathroom door open William came out wiping himself dry why are you crying in there William asked Julia was too shocked to move William had changed his abs had appeared his Beer Gut was gone his muscles were showing his butt was taut and his gray hair was gone Julia blinked and looked at him again this was not the William she had married William helped Julia up and they hugged for the first time in months I won't tell you what they did that night but I will tell you that Julia walked funny for about 3 days the
counseling they went through was very intense and it helped but William never let Julia forget that she was walking on thin ice last week William and Julia celebrated their 60th wedding anniversary they disappeared for about an hour and when one of their great grandchildren went looking for them he found them having sex in the laundry room the the child would have nightmares for years to come seeing an 83-year-old couple having sex is what will happen to you
