[SUB12] A DUPLA ALIANÇA - Luciano Subirá

Would you like to know how to strengthen marriage and matrimonial relationship? Because if you’re single, like someone said very rightly so, that the best time to prepare yourself for marriage is before you get married and not after. That 's right.

This is what we’re going to talk about in the next minutes. The word of God, in the book of Ecclesiastes 4:9 to 12 "Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor. If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.

But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm; But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves.

A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. " First of all, he starts highlighting not necessarily and exclusively marriage, but any level of relationship, the writer starts pointing out that two are better than one. But in verse 12, right after he says that two resist an opposition better than one alone, he talks about a cord of three strands.

Now, he is not talking about two strands, he is not just following initial logic that two are better than one, but he adds a third strand. I believe that, just like two are better than one, when we talk in terms of marriage, we would say  "it’s better to be married than single", unless the old saying comes into effect "Better alone than in bad company". But if we obey biblical criteria, we’ll understand that that is God’s idea since the beginning.

The Lord looks at Adam and says: “It is not good for the man to be alone. ” In God’s plan, two are better than one. Now, even better than just being two, it’s when we become three.

Obviously, God’s word is not talking about a love triangle. Nor is it talking about children’s arrival that might or not, depending on how they’ll be received strengthen the couple’s  relationship. What we see in this text, is actually,  an application of a principle throughout the whole bible.

God wants to be part of marriage. God wants to be this third strand. This is the first of three messages of a series that we will do about the cord of three strands.

And I want to introduce to you God’s vision as the third strand. When we read in the book of Genesis that as soon as He establishes the first couple in Eden, we see that God used to visit them on a daily basis. Genesis 3:8 talks about daily visits.

I joke that God didn’t even respect the couple’s honeymoon, that showed the aim that he did not just wanted a relationship with the men, only in the individual aspect, but He wanted to be part of the families, he wanted to be  part of marital relationships. And we need to understand something important: God wants to be this third strand. A marriage without God may last, but with  the third strand, it for sure resists much more.

We are living times  in which marriage is a real challenge. Society has become accepting of divorce not only as a right thing, but almost defends it in many situations, that I would even say are banal. And we need to go back to the values of God’s word and allow marriage to not only last in a way that honors the Lord, but also glorifies Him.

So, it is necessary to bring God into our relationship. In this series that we’re beginning, I will approach three important aspects of God’s participation in the matrimony. In the first one, today, we’re talking about God as part of a couple’s commitment.

The next message, the second, we’re going to talk about God as a source of intervention in the couple’s life and family. And the third one, we’re going to talk about God as a reference and the pattern of behavior  for the couple. If the Lord is, at least, part of these three areas, we have a protected, strengthened marriage, resistant to attacks.

So, let’s start talking about the first aspect, God as part of the couple’s commitment. We need, firstly, to understand that the bible introduces a much stronger vision of commitment than the one our society knows. What most people do today is go to a registry office and sign a contract.

A contract that can be terminated, that can be rescinded at any moment. That is the cultural view that we have of marriage. But when we look at word of God and pay attention to the way God defines marriage, we see that the value of what God puts in that level of commitment is much greater.

it’s far more serious. It’s far more sacred than  what we culturally know. In the book of Malachi 2:14, God says: that the Lord is the witness between you and the wife of your youth.

God rates marriage as a covenant. A covenant is something much stronger than a commitment. A covenant, since biblical times, since the remotest ancient peoples, was considered the most sacred level of relationship.

There was an implicit idea behind the word covenant that preserving it meant blessing, breaking it meant curse. Usually, when they worked hard on a covenant, they meant that as a serious and deep commitment, not something one gets into like many people do nowadays kinda like to do a "test drive", "Let’s see if that works out. " It was a commitment where many times not just the word, but sometimes blood would be shed, to consolidate the seriousness of that commitment.

And God is dealing with marriage like a covenant. Now, we need to understand that, not just the covenant itself is something very serious, but we also need to understand that marriage is not only the covenant between the man and the woman. Here, God is talking about the man’s covenant with the woman  from his youth, in another text,  Proverbs 2:16 and 17, bible mentions an adulterous woman and the 2 texts I’m using involve the matter of adultery and people who were unfaithful to this covenant.

Just like in Malachi  2:14, when God says that He was the witness of the covenant between you and the wife of your youth, the Lord says  "you have been unfaithful to her". In that moment, the Lord is not only saying that marriage is a covenant, but He is holding accountable those who did not comply saying: "I witnessed the moment you established the commitment and I am witnessing the moment you are breaking it and failing to keep your vows. " Proverbs chapter 2, the verse I just quoted, the Lord talks about a woman who adulterates and the scriptures says the she forgets the friend of her youth and she also forgets her covenant with God.

That is, when we put together these two texts, God is demanding a covenant not only between man and wife, but He is featuring marriage as a double covenant. Not only man and his wife establish a covenant with one another, but both of them have a covenant with God. In fact, in the old testament, when God gave Moses the ten commandments, they were called " the covenant words", because it was part of a covenant that God made with His people.

And one of the commandments was not to adulterate. Therefore, to be faithful to the marriage is not only to preserve the covenant that both man and woman made with each other but, also to honor the covenant we have with God. We need to understand this double covenant.

If God is not part of the commitment, the marriage will end up becoming, as in many cases we see out there, a joke and we need to rescue this view of commitment. I have been mentoring my kids, one is already married, my daughter not yet, and I have been mentoring them for as long as they can remember: "marriage is really serious; make you choice wisely; pray, consider, seek the Lord, seek advice because after you've made your choice, it's a no return path. " It is not something we can play with and the reason I say that to my children it is not because I want to oppress them, it's because I want, in the first place, that they don't make a mistake not to a spouse nor to themselves, let alone with God.

We need to understand the seriousness of the covenant. If God defines marriage as a covenant the question is: How does God see a covenant? We have a clear example about this.

In the book of Joshua, chapters 9 and 10, the scriptures tells us about a covenant that Joshua made with the Gibeonites. God told them not to make a covenant with any of the peoples of the land of Canaan, but the Gibeonites arrived telling a different story, saying they came from afar, that they were other people . .

. and the scriptures say that Joshua and the head leaders did not consult the Lord. As a result: they ended up making a covenant that was built on a lie.

And when I read this text, I believe that it is a picture of many marriages. In counseling, people often say to me: "pastor, that husband or wife of mine claimed to be a completely different person from what I discovered within four walls after we got married. " And I say: well, the same thing happened to Joshua.

The problem is that Joshua did not consult the Lord. God could have prevented Joshua from this lie but after he made the covenant he was obliged to keep it, because a covenant is not made to be played with. The covenant is made for us to stay in it, commit to it.

As a result, three days after the covenant: The Gibeonites are attacked by other people of the land of Canaan and they send for Joshua saying: "you made a covenant with us and you have to defend us. " this is a crisis moment: "Wait! It was not with you that we made a covenant.

- No, it was with us, it doesn't matter if you have been deceived, now you have to honor it. " And the scriptures show us that Joshua had to honor the covenant and fight to defend them. Now, what I find beautiful about that story is not thinking about the burden, the obligation of Joshua fighting to defend the covenant, it's that in the moment he fights to defend that covenant, the scriptures declare that the Lord honored him in a extraordinary, supernatural, powerful way.

When we read in the scriptures that the sun and moon stopped before Joshua's prayer, when we read about stones descending from the sky over the enemy it was precisely in this battle, to defend the Gibeonites. It is something that my wife and I have learned and try to live not just for us, but to overflow to all the families we counsel, is that once you decide to honor that covenant you will see what God can do in favor of it. When you decide to honor not only the commitment between the spouse and their wife, husband, but when you understand that this is part of the commitment with God and decides to honor it, it allows a door to open so God can intervene in favor of the covenant.

One of the main secrets is, in fact, to understand which level of commitment is this We must seek God's orientation, which Joshua did not do? Absolutely! Should we be careful before getting into it?

Yes, but when we do, we need to do it with all of our hearts, willing to honor the commitment, not only with one person, but, above all else, understanding that this commitment is a double covenant, is to honor the commitment with God. Therefore, if you are already married, fight for your covenant. Defend your relationship.

Do not look at it as a punishment, a place of punishment that God wants you to be, but as you fight for it, you can count with His intervention. If you are still single, think, seek the Lord's advice, but when making this covenant, mean it and make God the one who is going to be part of this commitment. God bless you abundantly and that your family may reflect God's glory.