hello this is sandra hart and today i'm going to give you 10 mistakes that you should never make and 10 secret tips for a better life hello and welcome this is sandra hart alright [Music] [Music] so [Music] [Music] hello and welcome to life over 60 with sandra so happy to see you here again with me today and welcome to all of my new subscribers i just love having you along with me and with all of us on this journey today we're going to be talking about wow things never ever to do and you may have
your own list so after this video is finished and in the comment section i want you to put down maybe some extra things that we as humans we as women should never ever do now the first one i'm going to start off and tell you is don't wish your life away and what do i mean by that don't spend your days wishing oh i wish i could have more money oh i wish i could travel oh i wish this coveted would go away oh i wish when i was younger i should have made a different
decision in my life all of those things are true and all of those things we can do and i'm sure most of us do them but it's a waste of time don't wish your life away if you want if you have a dream and you want to do something do it act on it don't just sit there wishing oh if i only could have if i would have if i should have that really is such a waste of your energy and at this stage in our lives we shouldn't be wasting energy or time at all
so that's the number one thing the second thing is don't make promises you can't fulfill now i know we have all done this i have done this so many times in my heart you know the intention my intentions are good but sometimes i speak too soon i say sure you know i can do that but in reality maybe i can't or maybe i resent doing it because i really didn't want to do it so if you are faced with something and someone asks something of you and you say oh yes you know i can do
that i promise that you know i will uh take that trip with you or i promise i will whatever it is you know there's so many things we can promise in life i'll promise i'll give you that loan don't ever do that i mean when somebody comes to you and asks you a favor or ask you to do something and it's not in your wheelhouse and you're very hesitant about it just use your gut instinct and if you have you know if you hesitate just for a minute that means don't do it do not take
on a responsibility or an obligation that you cannot and you don't feel like fulfilling and we do that so often and it's so so easy because if you have a good heart and you're kind and you love people around you you more than likely want to say yes but you really just can't and the third one is something i've spoken about before i think in a couple of videos ago don't hide your love do not just take it for granted that they know that you love them you know just say oh well i don't have
to tell them you know i do so many things with them they know that i love them not necessarily so everybody needs a pat on the back every one needs to be wanted and loved that is just our nature human nature even babies that are not held and fondled and cradled they wither away it's just a basic human need that we all have so don't wait till it's too late to tell those around you that you love even your dog i tell sophie every day and i don't know whether she knows what i'm talking about
or not but i tell my sophie every day i love you sophie and she looks at me with those big eyes you know and i said well i hope she understands what i'm saying so don't wait to tell someone that you love them and this is one i really have to tell my husband all the time don't hold on to bitter feelings he was in partnership with an attorney in new york and it wound up this attorney did some really terrible things to arthur and his business and it really was dastardly to be honest with
you but arthur won't let go he and this was 20 years ago he cannot find it in his heart to forgive this man and he talks about it constantly and you know what that's doing all that is doing is simmering and seething and eating away at him he won't let it go and he would be much happier and have a better life even though he is almost 94 but he would have a much better life if he focused it on something positive and he would let go of his partner who was not exactly honest but
to this day he still resents him and it's you know part of him i think that really is eating him away emotionally inside still and no matter how much i try to counsel him and say you don't let it go arthur let it go he won't let it go but i want you to be able to not hold on to grudges not hold on to um bitter feelings that you have toward life toward your circumstances toward anything always try to find something positive in your mind that is attached and will erase those feelings and another
thing uh that number five don't ignore your intuition how many times have we done videos i've done videos we've had conversations about this your intuition is so strong it really is your first instinct about something is what you listen to because your instinct usually 99.99 is right and will guide you in the right direction whenever i have ignored my intuition i've made mistakes every single time so throughout the years i have tried to hone my ability to really be aware when my gut instinct and my intuition kicks in because then i know probably whatever it
is that i'm feeling is right so please do not ignore that god-given intuition that you have another thing we have lived long enough to have had a lot of experiences and a lot of things in our lives haven't we we've met people we've done things we've had a lot of different experiences maybe different jobs and there might be something in your life that you regret we all have regrets but you know what do not hang on to them it's the same way with bitter feelings hanging on to something in the past is not going to
help you in the future at all i probably have told you about the time that ethel merman's manager let me practice and vocalize up in his apartment because we lived in the same apartment building in new york and he came down and i i suspected that he had ulterior motives for me but he didn't and i know he didn't because i was so young and i you know was fearful and i regret that i didn't take on his recommendation that he would like to manage me but i was a young girl from ohio and i
was innocent and i was scared i guess i just was scared because i don't think who me does he really think i had that much talent and i didn't believe in myself so that is one of the big regrets that i have but i wouldn't have had the life that i have today i wouldn't have my children i wouldn't have had you know arthur i wouldn't have had this wonderful life that i had i would be somewhere else probably out in hollywood or still singing you know 80 year old woman in some cabaret somewhere i
has been so don't hang on to regrets because when you do that anything that you hang on to it really puts a rope around your neck and keeps you from going forward and opening that door to the future so that is one that i don't um i know that you really shouldn't do another one is where you are right now is not where you have to be for the rest of your life so don't get stuck if you are happy where you are and you are leading a full life and everything is just a-okay with
you you're really lucky but if you are in a point in your life where you don't like your job you're unhappy with where you live you're unhappy in a relationship you can't seem to really make a lot of friends whatever it is if you've lost a partner or a spouse whatever it is where you are right now don't get stuck please don't get stuck because tomorrow is another day and don't lose your hope of being able to change things because nothing in our life is static absolutely nothing when you look back on your life from
the very beginning to where you are now look how many different chapters you've had look how many different circumstances and things have happened in your life that has propelled you to where you are today but if where you are today you're really unhappy about it don't get stuck and don't use all of that energy saying oh i'm so stuck i'm hopeless you know there's nothing that's ever going to happen to me good i'm not going to be able to do it do you know what that's a lot of energy you're expelling isn't it you're wasting
all that energy when that stuck energy should be on something positive and sit down and make a list of things that you can do realistically things that you can do right now to change that stuck place where you are in right now that energy to propel you forward instead of sucking you in and pulling you back into your misery is not healthy so use that energy that to make a list do what you have to do to propel your self forward and get those wheels from spinning in the mud and get out of there if
you are very happy with where you are another thing that i think is really important and this you don't have to go to school for this but don't stop educating yourself don't stop opening your mind to things whether it's reading more uh having a more open mind about situations that are going on around you uh learning to a new skill learning a new language maybe uh taking some online courses like purposeful gathering but but you know expand always keep expanding your life keep expanding your mind and your horizons it doesn't have to be big things
as i said it could be just maybe reading a book about how to do something reading a biography about someone else's life and that has expanded your knowledge now last night i had a very interesting i watched a pbs and it was a really interesting documentary on saint augustine here in florida and i knew it was you know the oldest uh city in florida but i didn't know the history of it and it was absolutely so fascinating about the indians that were here and how it was a multi-cultural acceptance colony when it came here they
had people from africa but they were not slaves they were free to own property and to not have to worry about being in slavery so i just the whole story in the whole history of saint augustine was so interesting and something that i learned that was new so be open to all avenues of expression art theater now with the internet we can just go online and we can listen to podcasts we have everything at our fingertips so there's no excuse to not broaden and educate your mind another thing that i think is really important and
i guess you know i talked about this a lot so you may be tired of hearing me say it but don't lose your individuality don't be a part of the herd when we are born we all have different genetics different genomes and different mixes even if we have part of the same dna as our parents and our cousins and our siblings we are unique there is no one in the universe who is like us so embrace your individuality embrace your imperfections none of us have perfect bodies faces minds living situations lives none of us have
those things that are perfect but embrace your uniqueness it really is so important to your happiness because everyone else has taken as i've said before there's no one like you so why not love you and embrace everything about you because you are so special and unique and don't ever ever ever let anyone else tell you that you are less than wonderful and your own unique self and number 10 this is for parents out there including me this is for all of us that have had children and raised children and sent them on their way out
of the nest always be supportive of your children but don't ever ever ever expect them to give back to you what you gave to them those are our expectations that we should not impose upon our children and the we expect them to do something with their lives that's different but don't expect them to pay us back for what we have done for them because if we lose those expectations and we untie that knot you know that attaches us to them and say oh you know i did this for you and you owe me your why
aren't you doing this for me whenever you and your children don't feel that burden of expectation on their shoulders you know what it makes them want to do more for you that's just human nature if someone you know you know you love cakes and maybe sweets or whatever potato chips and you're a little overweight and and your husband or partner or somebody said you don't eat that you're getting fat oh you better not eat that you're getting fat what do you do you stuff it in faster because that burden of criticism and expectations of who
you should be is thrown back at you but if nobody monitors what you eat and what you say and you are your own in charge of your own life and what you eat you can look in the mirror and get on the scale and say hey you know what i'm about 10 pounds heavier i'd better kind of drop those pounds and i have to watch what i eat and you're willing to do it because it was your choice when your children have a choice of theirs to give back to you it's a very beautiful thing
and it usually happens if you do not expect anything back from your children you have raised them with love and only want happiness for them so those are my 10 tips of burdens that we put on ourselves things that we shouldn't do if we want to live a full and free life so if you have some suggestions of your own that you want to put in the comment i really would love to read them and i want to say i my your comments are so heartfelt and open and honest that it just absolutely touches me
to the core i just want to tell you that i am so grateful for each and every one of you that are coming along with me and the rest of this community on our journey to find the very best life after 50 60 and beyond thank you again and today you deserve to do something really wonderful for yourself and as i said in one of my points don't forget to share your love with someone today that you really care about and of course share the love with everyone thank you and um i'm also on instagram
and i'd love to have you join me on instagram at sandra's heart i'll put the link below because we have a lot of fun on instagram too have a great day and thank you again for coming and i hope to see you in my next video
