Chris Distefano is Going on Club Shay Shay and He Has a Plan - Full Interview

Man shout out club sh Shay I won't say that on sh sh [Music] but today's episode of KFC radio is brought to you by jackpocket say it Jackie jackpocket jackpocket uh Jack pocket makes it easier than ever to order National and state lottery tickets right on your phone once again we are 0 for three now As a team for uh drafting our lottery tickets but we will not go quietly into the night we will continue to pick our numbers for the jackpocket right now Powerball up to $460 Million by the time you listen to this

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and power balls so Download the the jackpocket app today use promo code KFC you will get a free lottery ticket for your first ticket so download the jackpocket today use code KFC America's number one lottery app and official partner of Barcelo Sports hell yeah dude on the couch let's go you know we were just talking about who how uh black black podcasters always keep the mic like really far away from them because they don't want it to be like a dick in their mouth dude but the Black podcast is like that's what I'm not I'm

doing this today cuz it's a favor to you but I have done because I love you guys but I only want to do black podcast or podcast with big black audiences for the next two to three months I don't want to do anymore I'm kind of done with the white audience I just want black I want black people to know who I am I want them to know like instead of like them coming up the stream be like you that [ __ ] From Guy Code and then they think I'm Andrew Schultz I want I

want to be I want to be as black as Schultz is like audience wise that's a good goal that's what I need you know I got the special coming out on Hulu and they gave me it's one comedian a month for the next like 12 months or whatever so I was one of the Comedians and the month they gave me was February black history hey baby so I'm like let's get get me the black audience and then you're ready for this Hasn't been confirmed yet but I think I'm this close to getting on shann and

Sharp's pod let's go you are instant what I'm going to do though on Club Shay is I'm going to tell all my stories that you guys have heard a million times cuz black people have not heard them they've never heard the 9/11 story they don't know my dad but you can't be gay dude that's the well so there's a different Chrissy coming out okay it's going to be I'm going to do what black people want I'm going to talk about what black people want me to talk about I'm going to I'm going to make my

father an even crazier Mafia character cuz they love the mafia [ __ ] no gay I'm going to say that I beat up gay people um I'm going to have a magician come in in the middle and then he's going to do he's going to do a trick and I'm going to run out like that like blow my mind um I'm G to talk you know like no politics I'm GNA or I'm just going to say like yo like is is KLA like wait bro she Indian or black like get that going you know like

it's cool by me but like what is she like I like someone who's real you know I've been you know on more white podcast CU it's been beneficial for me to say I was born and raised in Queens but this one will go Brooklyn want to go a little blacker um you know and uh and yeah and that and that's and that's the plan I'll wear this hat like There's I was going to ask like you mentioned Schultz like I feel like one of the things that helps Schultz in the black community is he looks

really different than white people he's got the haircut yes are you going to have like you do look like you from from any white guy what's amazing too to me is that that haircut does make him look different whites and and it Gray Shades him to black people but he looks like a Nazi no it is an interesting thing it's Like the most racist look is what the black people are responding to the best so maybe I I'll do I might just come in fulls regalia just do a get a little must little like that

and then but but that the goal is here we need to get black people yeah so what Chrissy 2025 get the blacks we have chy get the black it's 21% of this audience is black that's right that's right 21% one one time we we uh we had a uh I would say no yeah They like our sales team made like a deck for us and it was like this many percent make over $100,000 a year and this many percent have kids and this many percent live in these areas and then they said 21% of our

audience is black and I was like oh throw out all of these numbers because they're all fake 21% I would say you have 21 black people that's what I said so in the world by the way just there have been 21 black people who have listened to the show in The history of the 15 year yeah we get people who call up like we're the member of the 21 part of the 21 Club yeah there's no [ __ ] shot but yeah I mean it's it there's been a a huge influx from its rappers it's

ball players it's funny black comedians they they have like you know burst on the scene we got wall and Gilly go on show you can do all that Tik Tok social media is like I mean they're the funniest people in the world it's not even close they've always been The funniest people dude it's not even close like like Louis I think like Louis CK is the Best comedian for for me like K and Bill bur like the top two but like a a random regular a random black guy like driving like a UPS truck is

funnier we'll say some of the fun the funniest things you've ever heard in your life it be 10 times funnier than will can they put together a whole career maybe not in the moment they're the funniest person alive I think I I actually think a lot Of times comedy is about being like the [ __ ] you guys do sucks so you could be like the funniest UPS driver in the world and it's like I don't want to go bomb for five straight years I don't want to go up 12 nights uh 12 times a

a week seven night days a week like so you know it's the same thing as like sports you might be the greatest athlete but if you don't want to go do all the [ __ ] that's why I lately I've been hanging around not Lately for the past like couple years I've been hanging around mostly just my friends from home mostly them definitely see my comic friends but I don't like go out with I'm like I'm just at home with so like yesterday I went with my friend Pete to to the Mets game he's Die

Hard Mets fan you know I'm sitting there we got to talk about this we're going to talk about it we're going talk about but we're going to get so mad at you bro right so Pete we're at This Mets game and like you know whatever people recognizing me and all that and this and that and then he's just like dude doesn't that doesn't this suck and I'm thinking like oh he's going to think it's cool like you know he doesn't come out with me much you know and he's like oh See's like my career has

like gotten bigger like get recognized more especially at sporting events and he was like doesn't this just suck like how do you live like this and I was like what do you mean taking pictures with like [ __ ] you know fat guys and hot girls and and he was like those are my fans it's like either the my fans it's crazy the Spectrum it is the fattest most disgusting man in the stadium and the girl who's a 12 yeah and you're like how do but they both so and I was like no like you

know not even thinking like that he was like dude you have like you know like these people Like now you have to sit here and you can't yell anything he goes I know like you know when we grew up together he's like we'd be yelling crazy [ __ ] at the Players you can't do that he was like your family sees any of these pictures with these girls get out you're [ __ ] he was like you know you got to leave your kids all the time to make money he was like I I'm an

electrician I'm home every SLE down Pete Jesus 600 I know I was like I was like you know it was kind Of like he was like getting to me and I was like [ __ ] dude I yeah but but but I brought you as a guest to the we got great seats and we're going to go up to the Steve Cohen sweet and what about that he was like honestly dude I'd rather just be watching the game at home with my son well then [ __ ] you like don't [ __ ] do that

piece of [ __ ] don't come with me now I was like you're off the list then yeah dude I was like I don't even like sitting next to you cuz You have like s or something on the back of your neck and he people behind us probably getting flakes on their pants I mean listen there are worst things in the world it's like all right you know what I can't yell slurs at people in public anymore well I I will be after I go on Club Shay you're yo I'm trying to get that pass

that's how hard I want to kill on Club sh CL sh Shay is like that's instant there is no that that [ __ ] he Did with with Cat Williams I don't even know what it's at now last time I checked it had 70 million views I don't know any other career I don't know any other podcast that's gotten 70 million it's big it was Elon and Rogan was the prior biggest and now this that's the big it's the biggest podcast of all time at least on YouTube I don't know about yeah so it's I'm

trying to get 21% of that are you going in with like a not the catw with a vendetta say but are you Like I'm going to [ __ ] leave it all out there I'm going in there say some [ __ ] to no the thing is I'm going in there with my M cuz here's what's happened too with comedians on myself included by the way I will I will say I've done this we've been podcasting so much and for so many years that sometimes you run out of things to be funny then you start

talking about like your actual honest opinions and ideas and my life I'm done with that I sorry Chrisy Rogan was a your emotions I am very sorry for that happening I really am I will only ever be funny now and so I will only I am going to go on there and try to be as funny as I can for as long as I can and not if I am going to get deep at all it you better believe it will come on tail you know I will have a [ __ ] joke or something

about puer Ricans on Deck ready to go but I'm like I'm like I'm not going to sit here cuz I look back at old clips of myself and I Want to I literally want to kill myself so I'm like I'm like I won't do that but I I am going in with the assumption that Shannon sharp has no idea who I am his entire black audience has no idea who I am so I'm going from the greatest hits from day one like podcast bits I did on figh the kid in 2019 coming out yeah when

when like when when you first came on the scene I remember being like what you said uh ge Cod and I was like this is the funniest dude In the world so just run that back that's I'm going to run dude cuz I think it's for that comedy you know my 911 story black people want to hear that they want to hear [ __ ] your father mafia guy hitting the principal you know they want to they want to hear all my stories Mr Perfect they want to hear that [ __ ] so I'm gonna

I'm going to go in there and I'm just and I'm just do it but unless he comes out with he has like a fact sheet on me and he already knows The bits then I'm then then I might completely get in my feeling guarantee you shanon is not talk about fabric of this nation is crumbling and how I'm really sad to be a part of the one of the worst times in American history and just completely eat my own advice did it get it's like there's we've all I think we've all seen it with interviews

and downloads and everything it's just like it got so so many shows so many appearances so Many guests all that [ __ ] that you do run out of [ __ ] to you also got to go back to and again I'm just a person so I just got carried away with it but like I started like two months ago every Sunday at 700 p.m. eastern time on my YouTube youtube.com Christy comedy I put out a new 15 minutes of standup that I've been doing for the week it's basically you know this week's material every

Sunday wow every single I haven't missed a Sunday and like I think I've done eight In a row I haven't missed one so every week I'm at New York comedy club or the comedy seller whatever that [ __ ] that I would be riffing out in the clubs that I would never show anyone cuz like I got to get this ready for my special I'm like you know what [ __ ] the specials let me just put it out now because that's where I'm having the most fun is a stand up at my YouTube numbers

everything is like increment I I was like this for literally two years like nobody cared About the Pod it would go down and now everything's slowly going back up the idea of of a special is not special anymore but the idea of steady YouTube content that's like just good standup comedy every single week yeah I'm like every week you're going to tune in on Sunday You're basically you know wherever you live you're going to basically see the process of a comedian and then the goal is is at you know whatever like the Pinnacle is be

uh I Can't announce yet but be around New York City uh next September got a B show oh yes U but not yet though but not yet I mean well I mean you know I got the emails and stuff but it's it's not on sale yet so you can watch me February 21st on Hulu um but but um but so you know like build with me come with me on this you know journey I know it's gay but and then like by the time we get to these big shows you'll come see me live with

this material that you've seen Being worked out nowed some of these punch like you'll be like oh you think you know where this bit is going but then I've been working on it in secret and then bang you know you're but also like the idea of like comedy's a little different than music but like when you go to a concert people go to concerts they go to the see springsteed a 100 times same same song M fact they don't materal to me it's like I can get where comedy the the you know The surprise of

a punch line is like super important but once you like somebody and you want to see them you probably want to see the process and you want to see the classics and the I think the idea of comics being like I don't want people to see the material unless it's in a club with like 300 people is so crazy when you can get it to like three million people on the internet all every [ __ ] time yeah like Colin Quinn you know he had good advice for me he Was like I think it's a

good idea because he was like you know when he was coming up or when he was doing comedy forever he was like there was no podcast there was no internet he goes so the only way I could get my thoughts out for the night was we had to go to the comedy club and the only way I could get it out to the Mass public was here's my special but now you have all this access direct to the fans I don't know if that's the right route anymore he's like it feels Like what you're doing

maybe not right now but like that's the beginning of like how everyone's going to start to do it like even even even like but but it's interesting though because comedy does do specials do great numbers for these streamers and they do great on the internet because people love comedy but they don't Advance the comics career as much as they used to used to be you kill one special you're good now it's like great what do you have me now now you Have a clip bro it's all clip I mean I only was selling I began

to I was doing all this [ __ ] for years I only started selling tickets when the 911 clip came out and I told that 911 bit on my Comedy Central special but nobody saw it and nobody cared and then I and then I told it a year later the [ __ ] internet drunk on the internet and then it went so like that's so that's that's what it is but you know so yeah can I can I ask questions I just want to say that yes I Have questions I'm trying stand up for the

first time on Monday oh my God I'm not looking for a career change I'm we're just we're we're doing a live show while and say the nword that's hly you already look like them just do it did you did you like when you were starting did you like Workshop your stuff or do you just go do it first of all I'm not I can't take you seriously doing standup when you're wearing [ __ ] Pilgrim shoes and no socks and Bell bottoms and you're literally dressed like a woman from the future so I can't I

can't you're going to have trouble but um what was the question I was just looking at your socks like were you were you want to have a Caribou Coffee I love these a whole big hole right here that's good um yeah like I was going to I was going to like tell him to Kevin earlier and then I was like you know what I don't want you to get in My head yeah so he he he wanted to like sit down with us and tell us the jokes and we were all kind of like no

I understand their urge to do that and I did do that in the beginning the reason why I'm going to tell you is not to do it is not so much not so much for their reaction because ultimately at the end of the day you start to become you start to do standup for you not for the audience that's I mean in the beginning you will perform for the audience you'll Change your jokes for whatever cultures out there or whatever the vibe is but then as you get into it you'll start you've developed the skin

enough for you say I'm just going to say whatever I think is funny in the moment unless I'm of course I'm on Club sh then I will be a different person but but but I'm just trying to get the audience like History Month Hulu but but I think that so so the reason why I'm telling you that is to Say because whatever they say or don't say it's if you say it to them you're going to start to think like you're going to start to think even if they laugh or don't laugh you're going to

start to get in your head about the bit and and and the F the best thing to do is the very first time you say the bit is to be live on stage behind the microphone because a bit does lose its power when you have to say it the second time it just does like there's there's a Couple of things even there was a couple of things I forgot what it was but I think I've already said them in my head a couple of jokes I've already made in here that I was going to text

Kevin like when we were texting this morning but I was like no no save that for the show because it just loses power how I can't tell and I had to learn that cuz I can tell you how many times but don't you think there's a sweet spot where you also like refine it a little bit or you Think the first time is the best time well you're are you going to be joke like are you setup punchline or you Storyteller Storyteller so storytellers that's what I do it's different like a guy like Sam Sam

moral who's just a great joke teller he might be able he will tell me the joke like do you think this is good or not and you know normally but he's got ayle he set up and he kills with that punch where if I tell you the story and the essence of it I'm Doing everything even if you're hysterical laughing when I say it again I'm just going to lose something you know so how do you maintain that again I'm we're just doing like one show off but like when you do you know 70 shows

a year how is show 65 how do you keep that like because what I do is I always so I always go in to the to the set what I almost I always try to do this I always try to say something something different in the in the first minute I always try To make that different maybe it's something about the city maybe it's something about the front row maybe it's something about my shirt but I try to set it up so my brain isn't like oh you're going to go out there and immediately say

it's over for white people don't do that you're going to get to that bit your whole chunk about how you know why people are done but don't get to that right when you take the mic out of the stand have some so so then What cuz then what will happen is is I'll you know create some type of relationship with someone in the front row I've said something about the the stage and then I'll start tying whatever I said in the beginning into the bits that I already have pre-planned so it's like there different bits

in my head so that's that that's how I do it also you think about like just when you have a good story and you tell it and then you like You go somewhere else and your boy's like yo you got to tell them the story tell it again but you have a different audience you know this person's going to hear for the first time maybe that person's here for the second time but this is the first time for them and you you know you it's it's the same thing also too one thing I learned when

you do when you tell other people your jokes whatever advice they give you I'm not saying it's good advice or bad advice But it is subconsciously them telling them telling you this is what I think is funny and this is my sense of humor when it's not about them it's about what you think is funny and what's your sense of humor I even inherently I know I would if you were just like I'm just trying to help you part of me would be like no I think my's funnier yeah maybe that's a personal thing but

I think I would you know I'd be like right just watch me watch me Watch you like the very first time and you're doing like a Bill Clinton impression from like 30 years ago saying like racial stores and I'm like I wish you would have ran that by me I really wish you have just this guy's doing a Monica Lewinsky joke I really wish you would have ran on me damn I also would like to be clear I would never I I'm a jeans and t-shirt guy when we're on stage okay yeah dud he's he's

going to be [ __ ] he's going to kill it when When is the first show we're it's we're so we do out of order which is like a sketch show we do and we're doing that like we're going on tour with it and a lot of the other guys are Comedians and so they're doing like 10 minutes 15 minutes to start it and I was like I guess I'll just do five we did a he did a thing with Tommy smokes who uh it was like uh you write comedy for someone else and you

intentionally make it shitty and and the person has to go up There and bomb and he like crushed yeah I was going to say that that could be fun there were people like that was awesome and it was like he was wearing a a guitar on his back for no reason he was telling stories that didn't end there was punch lines that didn't work and he's just like a naturally funny person so I was like it's just going to be good it's just going to be good enough know well I think that too what will

H are you planning on doing this Just once and one time only you want to continue doing it um I would never do like open anything like that but like on these shows four four shows so I'm going to do five minutes on all four of those so then I think for that but I think you'll go on like a t City Tour and like probably only do it like at out of order shows right right but but I mean I think that will grow well the thing the thing that's going to happen with you

too is because it will be fans that you've Already gained so they're going to be more forgiving so so if it's just with I just want to get through these four shows and you prepare on your end and you probably will have a very warm room if it's going through comedy like you want to do comedy again the only way to get good is to perform for people who don't know you that's why it sucks when you get too famous too quick and Too Young you know it's better to slave it out like you know

nobody knew who I was Until I was 10 years into standup so I had to perform for strangers for many many many years so that's why that that's how you build up the the skin but if you're already fan like Vinnie guino is going around doing stand up up around he's getting really good he really is I've seen his progression he's working hard but in the beginning it's very difficult for him because they know who he is so when he tries to tell a bit they're kind of like but isn't that Vinnie from the Jersey

short but now it's starting to he's just starting to get he's incorporating that but it takes a while man that's one of my my favorite Steve Martin quotes when he quit stand up because they weren't laughing at his jokes they were laughing at Steve Martin and I was like that's [ __ ] bad and the Friday night late show he said that's why he quit the Friday night late show and standup comedy is the hardest for a comic people working all And a 10:00 show and they and and you know the audiences are typically insanely

drunk by Friday night they're exhausted from work they are like absolute just ready to pillage and then you have to go up there and do stand up in a comedy club and then 30 minutes into your set they've been sitting there for an hour they've watched the two openers and then 30 minutes into your set they drop the checks in the middle and divide the entire already drunk in IR crowd and expect you to do another 30 minutes with these animals while they're already drunk in he and it's just I'm telling you I think comedy

Stand Comedy specifically I'm going to experiment with this when I put my shows on sale next year I'm going to start to do because I just think we everybody works from home now or hybrid enough I'm going to and I don't think people want to be out late anymore I'm going to do my shows at 5 and 7 and see If that works really do a 5 o'clock show on a Saturday and a 7 o'clock show on a Saturday and I'll still get two shows the club still makes the money I'll still make the money

home good I'm home nobody's nobody's out nobody's I'm not asking you cuz it's a big ass for the audience too for you as an adult love a 5:00 with kids and you're sitting there at 10:30 like this oh my God if I could do like like dinner after like go to 5 o' and then go home and eat Dinner and [ __ ] like I would love that well it's good cuz I've do it like noon that's the thing it's like now now I here's the good new I'm 40 now and I've been doing this

a long time I now know who I am and what I want so the agents have been trying to talk me out if that's not going to work and I'm like listen if it doesn't work then it's on me I don't care this is what we're going to do where I used to be like okay you're also in a spot where you Money and you you're say you know I mean even if it's less money even if I make less money this way I sell less tickets I'm like it's still better for me though I'll

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if I would have done it then I Dwight Howard you been with Dwight Howard it would so muchard took my spot I was figured that he was the next call really yeah they were like they were like you know what if we can't get a small gay white man We'll get a big gay black man shout out club sh Shay I won't say that on sh sh but I I thought I thought that okay two reasons one you know you have to be away like you you know in La I'm in New York I was

like this is a long time to to leave the kids I don't want to do oh yeah you probably would have won it yeah that 100% are you kidding me if I'm going to go in I'm going to go in and and so and I also was like you know I don't think right now even though yes It'd be funny to talk about in the Pod and would would make so much behind the scenes content I think like right now I want to just do a couple of more things in my career before I do

that because there is no way around it with Dancing with the Stars even though I actually don't believe this the public will be like oh I guess your career your career is going down if you're doing that so that's a stigma that I honestly but I was like I don't want to deal with that Yet let me do a couple of big things like maybe what I'm doing next September in New York and maybe my Hulu special and maybe some other things that are in development at the moment ATM but then maybe I'll do it

when those things happen or don't happen is no truth to that there is no truth but I think perception is reality you right but to be honest with you if it was in New York I probably would have done it i' like how cool is this but I don't want to go To La and do that I I I think that there was someone that could pull it off because like you are so successful that I don't think people would think that you know what I mean like um no they would I'm not successful in

like if if uh you know freaking Shane Gillis did it that'd be different then they'd be like but you're pretty [ __ ] no not no you should see my ticket sales no not really so but yeah but hey it's Post and everything's sold out yeah it's not one instagram story post and everything's all sold out no that was [ __ ] in 2022 I literally was like oh dude I'm going to I'm doing Arenas and then and then I was like oh it's just because everyone had Surplus money from the pandemic and now people

are like you know it's like the same DM they're like hey I don't think it's that I really don't what do you think it is oversaturation yeah I do think that There is a level of like it's just there's just so and it's not that the product is lesser because there's probably more funny comics than ever sure but it's just like there used to only be a handful of guys that could do an arena and there was a handful of people that were funny enough to really have a podcast and there's just so much of

it that specializes like you're different from him different from her different from them and everybody finds Their Lane and that's their audience and like there's not a whole bunch of like I have to go see this person I have to do this because you do have five hours a week of their podcast and another 10 hours of this from their show and it's I just think it's too much for people to yeah you know I'm going to spend my money and go out and see the shows or even the specials it's like it used to

be like I'm watching that special the night it drops and now it's like I'll Get to it I get to it because there's so [ __ ] many of them well the ticket it it it gets pre like the tickets always come in the last minute you know or or or or a good enough amount but it is nerve-wracking where it's like oh you know last two years ago you were sold out five weeks before I got to any City now it's like as we're getting there as we're Landing I'm like texting my agent like

should I turn around dude I don't know how like we we did it for just a Little bit the the nerve-wracking of selling tickets was tough if that's like all you do but I think well that's why like you know I think too with with with that is also there's a lot of people doing comedy there's a lot of people or there's just a lot of people performing in general musicians comedians that's another part speakers the people tented dude like when we started it was like there's a couple guys [ __ ] around it's like

I don't blame you for going to Listen to the behind the scen story from the NBA and the [ __ ] rappers who are telling all Tales from the road you know what I mean it's like regular [ __ ] dudes yeah yeah that but you know that's why my friend at the Mets game Pete was right I'm quitting I'm becoming an electrician it's are are are we are we going to just are we going to pick a [ __ ] team and stick with it Chris no listen to me are we are you just

going to ride whichever way the wind blows Listen to me yeah just for the love of the city it's good for the city listen to me dude it's good for the city like I said the billionaire just go with Co like I said on my Instagram post New York first I didn't forget did you never forget I thought you know it's it's it's I worst never forgot you're the [ __ ] so what I will do what I will do cuz I you know today we're sitting here in the in the present we don't know

what's going to happen but if you go to the Yankees games this season I will [ __ ] kill you here's the thing forget about your show in that place in New York in February you'll be dead bro here's here's the thing is is if here's my plan is if the when I'll still be positive when the Nets win three in a row and and do advance to the World Series and then the Yankees will beat the Guardians because I mean what this the stupidest name in sports so you will beat that team and then

they both go to the World Series I will sit I will go to every single game and I will sit there draped in American flag and I will sit I will sit in silence and when either team scores a run I'll just I'll just do the I'll just do like that Trump you know like when he goes like you know like that that little hand you the the that's cuz at the end of the day America wins dude well here's the truth folks no here's the truth the Cohen's like you And that's you know my

father shout out to aeton who survived hurricane Milton and the guy just sat there dealt with it in a bathing suit and a rubber ducky and just dealt with it and he got one down tree and just sat with it was like I'm not he literally exact quote I said it in a in a standup bit but it was generally worth for it he goes I'm not leaving he goes I survived your mother I can survive this I was like shout out shout out and so so man that ain't the Truth it's so he goes

so but but even he we were talking the other day and I was like I was like are you mad that cuz you know you ra he's from the Bronx and he was like he was like you know what he goes at first I was like talking to my you know my stepmom his wife he goes and I was like you know did I raise a son who's not loyal he was like am I that was like a big thing for was like you know I'm coming to the end of my life and did I

raise a not loyal son and you Know sometimes it just takes like a woman to like kind of like take us out of this she was like Tony he he you raised him as a Yankee fan but then he became friends with the owners of the New York Mets like if you if you were a Mets fan and and then all of a sudden you Tony became friends with Stein you would then become a Yankees fan so he was she was like I but that's fine but you can't go back I'm not but I but

it sounds like you're gonna no no no the Only you just just be a Mets fan from now on I don't subscribe though I'm New York first that's what it is I don't subscribe to the you can't that's a Civil War and then I guess I know you're voting for this November that's what you want so that's just be a Mets fan I am it's so gay what you're doing it's soame that's who I but what have you haven't you been my friend for 10 years you're not lame you're gay but you're not lame that's

what I'm saying but so you know Just [ __ ] the Yankees man I can't do that though because I don't want to say [ __ ] any new y you don't have to say that but just don't let me catch you in a [ __ ] Yankees jersey in the Bronx anymore right just go just well no in the Bronx I can no don't let me catch you ever again in the Yankees jersey but how am I supposed to buy weed and not get beat up just be like I I'm going to tell Steve

Cen to cut you off I'm going to Start a whole internet movement to cut you off if you become I'm I'm dead [ __ ] serious I will start a whole goddamn movement I'm going to get Frank the Tank on it to cut you [ __ ] off as long as he has pants on sick and tired of looking at his [ __ ] C cellulite I told KFC that's the only problem I have with this I I don't want the Mets to lose but if they did lose at least I wouldn't have to [

__ ] see that it's brutal dude you can't you can't you can Switch like what you've done but you can't go back I don't want to see you in the World Series being like yane yankes the world I would do that I wouldn't do that but I would but if they invited me to the game I would still go yeah but I told you I'm going to wear an American flag I mean we do this like to an extent we don't go back and forth but like we become friends with someone on a team and

like I want them to win I I wouldn't I'm trying to think but you're from Boston so that you don't have to deal with this it's just one one team this is the life we live this the life we live there is nothing I'm sorry your city's [ __ ] second class and you don't have two teams I I swear to God I genuinely mean like if Aaron judge was like I think you are the funniest dude like I I want to come on your show I want you like I would deny positive you never

say that you would I would I would I would not even close John really not Even I would maybe let him on the show but I would never be like become a Yankee fan yeah no no no I get never root for him be like he's a nice guy so like when the Yankees when the Mets aren't playing I root for the Yan like I'd be like you could come on the show and I'd be like I hate you with all of my heart dude like I would obviously be like H listen I've wished death

upon you and now that I met you like I don't want you to get hurt anymore I won't I won't Root for that anymore but like I would never change sides yeah no I I guess I wouldn't change sides [ __ ] disloyal tell this I'm I'm unwavering with the Knicks and the New York Giants I don't hate the Jets or hate the Nets but I would never put on their gear and go to a game that's the thing so you can see why we hated that baseball baseball has always but I don't hate those

teams but baseball has never really been a sport I mean I've cared about it but I've always Been watching every NBA game think about if some [ __ ] schmuck was courtside at the Knicks and then in the box with the Nets you'd hate it you'd be like [ __ ] this guy um no no I don't think I would I would hate it if I saw them at other cities team like if they were doing like you can't be Yankees Red Sox and Mets Phillies but for me it's just City it's always been City

first I've just subscribed to and I know it may not be fashionable now but for the women of the Future it will be I'm telling you dude this is the way we're going I again I never forgot when those Towers came down I said it's New York first I guess you're I didn't know you were in Isis KFC we had a guy here um he he missed a baseball stream to go to his 40th birthday party okay and then somehow invoked uh 911 as the reason why he was not at the at the game like

911 like 2021 yeah or you saying it was on 91121 No it was just at 911 happened and and and he knows people that had bad things happen uh and that's why he was at his baseball that's why he was B his birthday party to Miss baseball very interesting he didn't forget he didn't it it was straight up like a rest of development like when when Tobias f is like I think I never really got over 911 why can't get his dick hard that was five years after I still to this I still to this

day don't jerk off for T I don't Do any I kind of treat it like almost like a like a Muslim treats Ramadan like I I clean my body on 911 I stay pure St pure you st I really do dude I stay fully pure I I can see day out out my bedroom window though I can see the uh Freedom Tower Freedom Tower but the light just the light only only on like that week of 911 and you jerk off to it no I don't I don't but it [ __ ] with you like

boy it'll make you it's not as dark in my room right now as it usually is Because of 911 they shown a life you're you're not quite as horny as you usually are I get it no I I yeah it's it's it's a sacred sacred space you know what who just found out what P day in Japan happens once a month I believe that he gets it once a month don't Chinese people only celebrate their birthday like once every 10 years really I think that's a thing that's something my grandpa said yeah by the way

this is no Googles no Google no Googles by oani is so good I swear to God I said this already but I saw I was at the Mets game yesterday and Otani hit like that lead off home run and I saw a World War II veteran clapping for Aon I was like that's how you know dude this guy has turned This World War II veteran around and and he is unbelievable dude his posture and the way he like holds the he just stands there like a like a Samurai and then he just there's no movement

he's just I'm like how does he Do that he's the best baseball player that's ever Liv no we were just talking about this though like like what he did this year there's a little bit of uh like he had 50 steals which is like a little bit unique right but like Albert phos did basically what he did for like 10 straight years right like 50 not 50 but I'm just saying the level of production right like it's just like Albert puls would bat like 370 with like 50 home runs whatever you know what I Mean

and he did it for like a decade right so there's just like levels to the hysteria and I think I think him being J Japanese is a big deal I think the internet's a big deal the new guy's a big deal all that sort of sh Shi being and he didn't do it this year but like being a pitcher as well oh yeah yeah yeah that's insane that people like I keep forgetting that that it's like if if everything was normal like he would have also started game one of the series Yeah and and then

also played the field like on the off days like that's crazy he could have actually what what position did he play when he was not pitching wouldn't he play in the in the field too he'll play Outfield yeah he plays out I was watching the game last night I think he's gonna stop you think so but he's like an like I I think he'll go I I think he'll play he'll pitch as long as he's like a top of the rotation guy yeah I I just think that'll that'll Maybe not maybe not maybe maybe he'll

just be great but I I think as soon as that starts to decline it's like yeah I'm I'm just going to [ __ ] Mash you know what I mean yeah just hit but but it's crazy like why not Pitch for another 3 four years and then when that naturally happens now you got another 10 years what is he 27 I don't even know I I actually don't know either he he I was watching him poor when they uh Advanced to the NLCS I was watching him like pour Like the champagne like they had like

a lot they just had a live feed I don't know why for like 20 minutes Fox just went to the Dodgers you know Clubhouse of them just all no shirts on pouring champagne all over each other and I was like this is like kind of like homoerotic and weird and then he was just like pouring champagne over like the same guy like his interpreter whomever another Japanese guy was like and then he would give Another it was like almost like a ritual I was like what is this guy doing and why is this not all

over I was watching like this ISD that was probably being like broadcast to like Tokyo you know what I mean like a [ __ ] Time Square billboard did you see the numbers can't you had tough connection with the stream last night um and you were at the game so you didn't see it hear it the American audience for game five of the DS was like 9 million people or Something like that watch the game and the Japanese audience despite it being a 9:00 a.m. start time on Saturday was 17 million wow it's just a

whole other level almost double this entire country in their country like the Dodgers themselves as a franchise probably are doing business like entirely they're just like we have to think about Japan we we we'll make sure Los Angeles and Americans are like happy but like let's make sure our broadcast is in Japan Let's make sure are you know what I mean dude Japan is like America was like in the 50s like they're just all about baseball all about patriotism support everyone that's why you got to watch out they're [ __ ] coming strong do the

right thing this November dude what is what's tampaon going to do if it if it goes south if it doesn't go his way he's not going to Happ with election the election well I think my father you know he says you Know he says every single day he says to me I'm I'm happily living in the Free State of Florida so he still so he believes he will be untouched and unscathed and hurricane Milton wasn't going to stop him he believes that um but I think that you know I think he's kind of at the

you know he's in his Twilight years now so I think he kind of just I think he doesn't give a [ __ ] and I think his whole thing is like you you the internet is making everything you Know so much worse than it actually is like look outside your door do you see like go just the other day goes look outside out your door are you in Gaza yeah no you're not you're in Queens go to go get a bagel you know like so so he's like don't let the internet yeah cuz that's the

thing like even though my dad's not formally educated he's just street smart and like he can connect with people so he's like the internet obviously doesn't this is He told me that I remember in 2009 he was like Twitter is going to ruin society and I was like why nobody was saying that then like it's tough to remember but like nobody foresaw these social media issues like even everybody was on like we love it we're connecting oh an old Facebook friend haven't seen you in 20 years like but he immediately was like this is bad

cuz he was like what's going to happen is he was like not everyone's supposed to be talking Only a few people talk and the rest listen yeah he's like that's how Society works but now everyone's going to be talking and he was like you're going to start to get Knuckleheads everywhere that come up with stupid ideas and there's going to be problems because they're all going to have their own little their own little uh networks or whatever he said and basically he said what is happening called comedy podcast 15 years ago yeah called us he's

talking About us he was like not everyone's supposed to be talking not everyone's supposed to have everything and I'm like true true true true yeah we said that we said that I think it was to uh cat Tim who's a Fox News host but it was like the only time I feel we've ever gotten push back we like free speech probably too many people have it and she's like well I don't know about that it was more of a joke than anything I kind of believe it I'm all for making every form Of social media

I'm all for making it like $30 a month I'm all for keeping it ey or I'm also all for for even if it would destroy my own ticket sales I'm all for Banning it I'm all for get rid of it I'm all for that because uh I just I kind of want to go back to the way it was like I kind of like I find myself thinking about what 2010 was like so much in my life where I'm like this was I had nothing I I was like but this way I don't know everything

that's going on I'm not taking in news all day I you took you took a good social media break for a while you back it did and then I slowly crept back because it'll get you dude and especially if you start to see like like I I feel like you know all of a sudden if if work starts to not go as well you're like well I got to do what I got to do you that's how I felt the same that's I think our version of like going to work every day and eating [

__ ] from your boss that like a billion Americans Do to make their paycheck it's like oh I I would love to not be on social media but I don't keep up with the times I'm not making as much content I'm not as relevant I don't you know what I mean they all just snowballs I wish that there if there's one thing like that you know like like the guys that made it the guys that [ __ ] you know caked and made all this money you know years ago like in comedy specifically that's the

only thing you know I know like sitcom Stars and all that I'm like that's that would be amazing like you know you look at like a I don't know Ray Romano I'm sure he doesn't even have 100,000 followers he doesn't need them he care he's already he already crushed it I wish I had that so and you were like right right there in in the grand scheme of like time though like if you were just a few years earlier you could have maybe been that but now it's like you deal I know that every generation

has [ __ ] to deal with but this like constant influx of information and you have to do it if you want this career is tough I would wonder though if a guy like Ray Romano was like are you kidding me when I was like 25 if I could just put out a post on social media and sell my tickets rather than doing [ __ ] 6 a.m. radio and bl you know that's trueid everything but I would love to I would love to be disconnected I would love to not know what's happening when when

do you think You'll do that to be well I thought that's the problem is I thought I was there for I feel like a drug addict who relaps and now I have no cuz I was out for a year for one year I did not sign into to I had the guy who I have still by the way the guy same guy still runs my social media I just am in it so there's a lot of times like hey we double posted because uh you told me to post this at 7 but you post it

at 3:00 cuz you're on insane every late six Months with our guy uh who's not here right now I go change the password change it I'm out I'm out and then I just and then I tell him like all right the Mets are making a run I got to get back in there password when you're in it are you in it like like your comments your everything or you're just posting so what I will do is I will post but then I'll stay on it for like the first 10 15 minutes and I'll start commenting

back to people you know like whatever Getting involved and like just do 15 minutes but then 15 minutes we turn into 30 and I'll stop posting and then I'll start reading an article and then I'll you know start you know you you start looking at your messages then you start going on other social media apps and you're like you know what just put it down and then you're like oh but you know what my meditation app is on my phone so let me go put that on isn't that funny you need a [ __ ]

app to Meditate meditate so so it's like it's just fully gets you at all times and I I hate it and I and I it's one of those things it's like the you know lung doctor that's like don't smoke as there you know they know all the but then they're [ __ ] dying of lung cancer because they're smoking I I've heard it like we we've said it everyone said it forever that like it's addiction it's addiction and I I thought I always thought we were just kind of being Dramatic as people and then but

like I don't really use it and I use it but I don't really look at anything and like I'll be talking to people here like well just don't look at stuff and they're like I literally can't like oh maybe it is actual add it no no it's like it's like I used to I used to you know not judge but I used to you know I I had a friend say it to me like this once he was like you know he was like alcoholic right and and I alcohol I always my Whole life I

could just take it or leave it I didn't care I was like you know whatever you drink don't drink it doesn't matter it didn't have like a power over me and then and then uh but he was an alcoholic got in recovery whatever and then I was like you know like all that time like you know like you know like couldn't you just like not drink and he's like well you know how you love sweets and muffins and like you need a chocolate chip muffin every day Of your life I was like yeah he was

like imagine I told you that that muffin every day was you couldn't have it what would you do I was like I wouldn't want to live he's like that that was alcohol the sugar we always talk about this the sugar might be the worst it was like alol I wake up every morning being like I'm not going to do it tonight and then the night rolls around and I put on like a movie and I'm like yo I got to have a snack and I cannot stop myself and Sugar's the same I'm it's might be

worse for you like bi socie there's people who up who our that're just not addicted to the phone and they just are not they just are not and I I I don't know why I am you know but I am I think I think I think the field you work in I all of my real like not real friends everyone's my real friend but not everyone real people like like all my friends I grew up with none of them like use social media they have It maybe they you know look here and there they you

know post their kids like some other kids photos but they're not like you know there is something too about like that just having like you know I got a 9 to5 I got I have a begin date and an end date that's my career where you know we do we're like I don't know also there's schedu call me the other day and they're like when when are you free like I don't know just call me when you're Ready like if I'm on a podcast I won't answer if I'm doing something I won call back in

an hour pretty much call just call me when you call me I also think there's something too um when when you know you've been lucky enough to have some some success it's like the sky is kind of the limit yeah so it's like every minute you're not working you're you're not growing like if you're just like you know I'm not smart enough to like be the [ __ ] head of the hedge Fund right I can like trade or whatever I can I can have this job but but with the internet and this [ __

] it's like the dumbest of the dumb the luckiest of the lucky can go so it's like every time you're not working I'm kind of like well maybe I should be because that's an American thing though cuz like people in England like when I was doing shows over there in England they couldn't I mean it happens but like if I would like sold out a show and then Added one a lot of the comments like why would you add one and I and I was like oh you know more money I'm here but yeah but

don't you want to like go to dinner like after the show or don't you want to just like enjoy life life and then because it's not because you know over there it's and then you add the second show and you're mad you're upset the second show is not selling it's like I shouldn't be happy the first show sold out but I'm mad that the second Show's Half empty we don't celebrate the wins cuz America's more more more so it's like how do you know I don't know how I got to bring a British attitude to

American Life Express is all about creating confidence I remember going to express when I was in maybe like seventh grade and buying a like royal blue button down buttonup shirt along with a bunch of the other ones the 1mx shirts that were like soft and stretchy but also like bright vibrant colors and I Remember being like I'm the bell of the ball we used to go to called Friday Night Lights Jackie it was a uh it was like a dance a school dance was that even like a thing for you guys besides like prom did

you have school dances uh like homecoming um yeah yeah just big ones did you have like regularly like Friday night there's a dance at the school I think it was like once a semester like once a quarter hm I don't I mean I guess That actually you know we probably had a fewer year maybe I feel like they were no but it was Friday Night Lights it was every Friday you could go what the main gym had a DJ and like a dance party and then there was another gym where people would like play basketball

like it was like the guys who try to impress the girls by playing Hoops but then the people wanted to dance were in there this is every Friday I think it was like every Friday for like the fall or Something like that it was like you want to like play basketball and like impress girls but I would go get my like Express outfit and rock that and so now as an adult seeing that I can get like high quality suits and the comfy t-shirts and I'm Still rocking it whether you were you know whether I

did this 20 years ago or today Express has been in the game forever they got the perfect pumac cotton t-shirt they got the hyper stress jeans they got the 1X shirts they got The modern tech suits I'm looking at uh what trying to I'm going to get one of the modern tech suits I'm thinking about getting a light gray one but I don't know I feel like that doesn't work with my complexion no no you think so I don't know we're gonna have to find out we're gonna have to find out so I'm gonna get

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even thinking about like oh it's my uh it's I need this because I can't have a meal it's like you you're looking forward to it so right now go to my. hu.com my. hu hule e hu L I'm like dlex I can't do it why what's wrong with me and I was focusing I was like don't get it wrong This time and I did it again last time I literally said I cut it out but I said it to you and and I just repeated it back in directly it's like I have some sort of

like brain blockage it's my. h u l.com kfc1 15 unlock a healthier easier way to eat with hu nutritionally complete meals in minutes so you can focus on what really matters that's my.u.com kfc1 15 but also if you're not Online so much you do Miss fun stuff like I learned today that Zelda Fitzgerald used to make fun of escott Fitzgerald's dick so much that he showed it to Hemingway and Hemingway was like I also heard very interesting wait wait what what what hway went totally normal dick circumcised or uncircumcised what do you think were they

doing it back then no I bet that guy had a covered wagon yeah yeah yeah I don't even know what what eror are we talking Ear I thought yeah heard then maybe then maybe was Zelda fitzell the one who was out of her [ __ ] mind nuts who's the one outut this is what I heard yeah I heard she wrote all of his [ __ ] in like her memoirs she had like a memoir or like a journal or something like that that was like very similar to The Great Gatsby and all these all

this [ __ ] and he took them and uh published them became like the guy that he is and then when she was Like those are my [ __ ] stories he was like she's crazy she's crazy that [ __ ] is crazy and everyone was like oh she's crazy she was just like no I wrote the [ __ ] stories now I don't know if that story is true too but that's what I heard just like the other day it's crazy you brought him up very interesting imagine her just being like those are my

stories and he's like that [ __ ] needs a labotomy and the 1920s so everyone's like [ __ ] her throw her throw her in an Asylum she's a woman dud I want to grow my hair out like like you what's that I want to grow my hair out like that with that's why I'm wearing hats now cuz I'm in the in between phase did it take for you to grow it to that length I want it to like [ __ ] come out of the back like waves fire he said the other day he

gets his haircut once a year once or twice a year so what do you mean cut like they trim it no I I cut I cut it short like probably to whatever like Like a like that you still have pretty long hair in the back too I I need a haircut right now there it's it's short like not like the top still has hair but like the sides are pretty short but so like what do you do you just don't sha like you just shave yourself and you just don't get shape ups you just let

it grow yeah you don't even get shape ups he he's got a good head hair for that though do you think I don't I mean it's right now I think cuz you have like kind Of wavy hair right I do have wavy hair when it get you got a good hairline you'll be fun yeah fine but how long is going to take me to get to that I would guess I got a haircut before summer so I would guess like may maybe so but you think even the shape ups is stupid don't get sh you've

never had a tight like that that's going to take a long time I get it pretty close to that don't I I don't get a B there's no b inv i for like ever I was getting like tape ups And [ __ ] like the Clippers there's no no Clippers are involved but like she go she I'm always like take it as short as you would I can find take a little while for you the top will go top your side and now it's like just bushy I kind of look like a dick yeah and

yeah and when you wear hat it like pumps out out it's not like flowing yet but I need it to flow cuz his just look Co takes time bro as long as it's there flowing by Club Shay That's all we're good though get the black audience tell me also like tweet at me May May 12th May 12th is the last time you got a haircut yeah let me know when what I should do some tips to get more black fans I want the fans gtba Chrissy gtba let's go get the get the black audience dude

that's the key here I mean you exhausted the whites the whites if they if they're in if they're not in they're not in it's like politics almost it's like you're V for Trump You're voting for Trump you're voting Comm if you either know Chris by now and you like him or you don't but the blacks is a whole different story blacks I are ripe for the taking right now what how do I get the blacks were were you maybe we Ed that part take yeah or clip it it's up to you were you boom or

Doom bro that guy came by clinically insane yo yo yeah I I've been I can't stop talking about this cuz we had the rizzler and then the Boomer Doom people Come by here and this place lit up like no not of I was like bro the one the one kid's eight Justice orler know I think the rler could you ever imagine geeking out over an eight-year-old no it's weird that's weird it's weird we had Glenny balls changed his flight to make sure he was here for an eight-year-old I mean that that tracks for Glenny balls

but that guy's going to jail for pedophilia 100% his name is Glenny balls so he's Going to be in prison me that's it's just those they're children and par are like crazy buzzing such confidence that like I I I I I I don't i' I'd say I'd kill for it but I don't think I'd want it we like they came in they walked in here and they were just shocked I didn't know who they were like not I knew who they were I'd seen their Tik toks and I'd seen like them around but like I

didn't know their whole Spiel like like they Had a a tray of cookies with them and I was like oh what do we got here you know I like a chocolate chip muffin and they're like double chocolate chunk cook I was like I don't I don't know what that means man and like apparently it's their whole thing and I was like to walk into someone else's studio and be like how the [ __ ] do you not know who I am like when you're just like the guys who eat cookies at Costco we're not talking

like you you didn't win an Academy Award Like a whole world have seen you but I guess at this point I've been famous for two weeks you don't know who I am like I that clip of um when he was like you seen the one like it's behind the scenes where he's like say it like this do it again and I was just like oh this is bad man bad yeah I mean I my kids my you know my k obviously my you know my kids see it they're they're on YouTube so they were like

oh look you know I knew the the rizzler but you know listen you Know you start to go boom you know like it's fun eyebrow thing it's fun stuff but you know I don't want to be anywhere near it but it is it is fun it is fun I get I like I enjoy it I'm like oh these guys are good but I don't you know I don't want to I don't want to do stuff are your kids on YouTube I say speaking of fun stuff that you don't want to be anywhere near yeah we

I learned about something the other day yesterday that Is the craziest thing I've ever heard I think it's awesome I don't want to be anywhere near it we have a podcast here minan show Kirk minan show oh this is [ __ ] where they have a guy so I guess I guess um assistant suicide is legal in Maine now is it Vermont Vermont Vermont change my flight and they're going to do one of one of their fans wants to die at his live show they call him dying guy and so they're going to do an

assisted suicide At his live show and I was like that's boncos like cool like good for the guy dying he's going to go on a cool way good for everyone who want wants to like send him out in a cool way I do not want to be anywhere near that I just kind of feel like that is very very dicey for that guy even though I know assisted suicide is legal and all that stuff I could easily see though somebody making a case saying this guy wanted to do the assisted suicide maybe wanted to before

But he kind of fast-tracked it because he wanted to do it on the show and you were kind of convincing him to do it I just would that just seems like a legal mess I think I I believe Kirk said it's a legal tight RPP yeah he goes he goes it's a little bit of a legal tight rope to walk yeah cuz it has to be in a house they I guess they I thought you go to like a clinic they like give you a pill or something home so he wants he's like I'm only

doing it if it's like a full Live show how old is he the assist suicide guy he's young he You' seen the picture of him he looks really old but he's in his 30s does he have is he sick at all got this is not just a regular I got they call him dying guy cuz he's dying stage four cancer get to stage five yeah I should have been clear about that that that's a big part say stage five when I well I guess his his podcast is called stage five so I think stage five

is death stage okay got it so I can See him being like I want to go out in like a crazy ass way like let's let's throw a party let's do this thing I love podcasting I love your show but I think that's a very I think that's a thing that's good in practice and then when you do it you're just sitting there like yeah but the problem is the problem is the assisted suicide is probably a relatively boring death you take a pill and you just go to sleep if you're going to do that

for the show for the ratings Light yourself on fire blow your head off with one of those t-shirt guns you know what you need you need one of those things on the internet like the like those Rube Goldberg things you know what I'm talking about where like the dominoes fall and it hit there pill Falls in your mouth at the end so it's like five minutes of watching this thing and the pill just think I think that I think that um it's a it's a wild I think that there's no end to the content Machine

that we are all living in start starts happening like it's just up to us to be like what do you wanna you could consume it all like I said the Boomer Doom I genuinely like them I'm like I'm I'm interested in them but you know and they've never asked me to to do a PO or being in a PO I doubt they you know who I am but I'm just I'm like I get that but I just I don't want to be a part they will be somebody who says the pill thing was boring like

I will blow my Head off on camera yeah yeah yeah we should we as a country as a people as a race should probably draw the line there yeah yeah I say I say yeah but again it's going to a level where like you can't I really think that even like AI you know is getting so crazy and good and I think like we're in so much turmoil at times as a country that I think we're probably living in a time where we're going to be begging as people to just be ruled by AI get

rid of The human presidents get rid of our system just have ai do it and then and then they'll be fair black and white right that's what it is get all the Chinese Puerto Ricans out no no black and white where it's like there are no emotions here these are these are the rules type thing I feel like that's going to happen in my life I I always think that with with AI stuff like I feel like I I always kind of like reject that where people are Like dude why are we doing like every

time a Boston Dynamics video comes out Boston robotics like why are we doing this haven't you seen the Terminator and I'm always like well I've seen How It Ends in the worst case scenario yeah like I when my budd's having a son I'm not like bro haven't you seen John Q like it's that's that's that's the worst way it could go like there are don't give him a wow on that I haven't heard I haven't heard anyone referen the movie John Q since I was in high school that's awesome dude that that I I'll I'll

weep at John Q I will be puddle dude have you watched the show onle I'm not going to bury my son yeah it's amazing he's going to bury he's one of the best actors by the way of all time that I know he gets credited but he should really be like in everyone's top three how is he not he he uh he's in the new Gladiator yes and he just did his regular voice love it said like I'm not doing the ACT if it's a Choice by Denzel I stand by that choice there's there's a

movie where he did a British accent when he was younger and it's so bad I think he was just like nope just let the not going to do you know that the meme of him where he's like I'm leaving here with something I saw that full clip the other day for the first time do you know what he's talking about it's such a funny story where he's it's it's a m very early probably early 90s Oscars and he was nominated for best Actor for I forget what and another guy was on uh who was also

nominated is going on stage to Pres present and he's like he's like and he got 3 minute standing ovation to present so I knew I wasn't winning but he's like but I saw behind the curtain a bunch of uh what do you call it like lunch prep and he's like I saw a bunch of some kind of food and he's like so I got Trey went back there and I was like I'm leaving here with Something I knew I wasn't getting that Oscar but I'm leaving with something from around the way have you guys seen

on Apple TV slow horses bro I that was one of the shows that grip that gri me like I was in I was downloading it to watch it on planes every moment of free time I could not get enough of that show I love that show Apple TV from Presumed Innocent to Bad Monkey Presumed Innocent slow horses now disclaimers out I don't know if you seen that what's That one about uh it was last Friday the first two episodes came out so a new episode's out today um it's Kate Blanchet and Kevin Klein and she's

like a then I would to say powerful but she's a a well-to-do woman I don't know she she's been very successful in her career her husband Sasha Baron Cohen is also very successful they're doing great and then it becomes very clear I'm not giving spoilers it's like all happens in the first episode but the like it Becomes very clear that she cheated on her husband 25 years ago when she was on vacation and something happened to the guy she cheated with and he's dead now he died that weekend and his mom who just died had

written a memoir kind of like what you're saying about escot fitgerald and the husband publishes it and he sends her a copy and it's all about that weekend and it seems crazy but like something must have happened cuz so far the whole Story is like she had an affair 25 years ago and I've never been married but if we're doing great and and I find out 25 years ago you [ __ ] the guy and he's dead now best case scenario like let that one fly let that dude yeah I feel the same way about

that like even like me like kids like if if some 21-year-old kid showed up was like you're my biological dad I literally I just be like you know what let's make one more room let's make more room for dinner Make that reservation six instead of five like then who gives a [ __ ] I'm not the dude on uh Love is Blind right now uh he he gets married to the girl right or they're about to get married and she finds out somehow some way that he has kids and he tells her that they were

sperm donor kids uh and and she's still bugged out about that she's like you didn't tell me that you like had and his story was he had friends who like couldn't conceive So he gave them the sperm which is already kind of weird to begin with and then she's like do the kids know what you look like and he goes I don't think so and like another week goes by and his baby mama comes out and she's like we have a family like these are these are his kids and he and awesome and it said

# threw it all away for a reality show like he just went on love his BL with kids pictures of him matching pajamas on Christmas morning just like had a family he was divorced so he's like you know you can go look for other you know a relationship but then got caught with kids then said they were sperm donors now they're just kids that are yours ID like it's just like you're going on a show that is wildly popular you're going to get caught cuz you have kids that's an awesome lack of foresight you're 100%

going to get caught there is nothing certain in this world that was Guaranteed certain to happen that you're going to be on kind love this guy now he did he is he still on or is he out now um so I don't know not I if I was going like I'm keeping this guy's now the reunion is going to be on October 30th so the reunion cuz the girl hasn't the girl found that out in real life but the show had already aired so now we're going to get to see her knowing that so she's

going to go ballistic bro like you had kids I I I When you got to see the clip when she's like do the kids know what you look like and he's just like I don't think so dud to go on a dating reality show I I don't think there's actually no amount of money that you could give me to I want to do that even if I was like totally if I didn't have any of that [ __ ] like I just don't want you seeing my game you I don't want to see you I

don't want you to watch me kissing I don't want to see me crying All that [ __ ] I can't I mean just like the [ __ ] I mean think about like a society like 100 years ago like seeing us like what we're doing like capitalizing on like causing drama with people ruining people's lives to sell an as like think about that like how crazy crazy crazy that is but then again there was the saale and Witch Trials back in the day which they say you ever hear that they just say that was like

a weed in the GR in the the ground they say That they some scientists think that I forgot what it was called but there was an herb or a wild weed that was growing out of the um ground in the S of Massachusetts area area that they were unknowingly like chopping up and putting in their food and specifically because of like you know women have higher estrogen it was interacting with the estrogen and making them absolutely nuts and and and and making everyone kind of in hysteria make given causing like Mass Hysteria and that happened

because the same weed was found in France where they also had some type of witch trial thing so you could say that that just happened naturally or you know the the Illuminati studying on the I I just learned I I Look to be very clear I read the Wikipedia page um so I didn't I didn't see that part but I kind of saw it where a lot of it was about property line like the time the town just hated each other it was about like property lines they Were just like [ __ ] people up

but I also didn't know it was 19 people it wasn't that big of a deal it yeah and five five were guys so likees Cory you ever you read pressed they called it pressing do you know how you they would just put a rock on like right I mean what a bunch of dicks and they would watch it right that's like dying guy then they would throw people like dying guy taking the pill on the podcast they would just watch until somebody gets Smooshed you assist suicide on that guy's podcast pressing to death I'm watching

that I'll see let's see how this goes but I mean you know do you think that it eventually pops or do you think you just I would imagine your internal organs get crushed but but is there like a straw that broke the camel's back or it just like slowly I would think it's a rib cracks and stabs your heart or your lungs or your lung that's how you die of a crucifixion like It wasn't really the nails most people got crucified weren't even nailed they were roped it's just you can't when your arms are like

you can't Brea your diaphragm won't go up and then you push yourself up on your feet right and you can only do that for so long they also [ __ ] stab you with a spear you know but that only Jesus they did that they didn't do that with every crucifixion for Christ that was the important part of the Salem Witch Trials Yes that it was the death of theocracy in America yes it well it was in America at the time but it was when we realized that that was not a viable option this is

get a little crazy but it's still puritanical that's the thing though that America's Puritans puritanical Society like that's how we are now still it's just like not as dude like even like with sex like being like taboo or you know cheating you're talking about all that it's like go to France they don't Give a [ __ ] if you you just can't fall in love with someone but like if you [ __ ] somebody they're like all right why'd you do that stupid and then you move on like you really my I I know it's

like it's like it's such a strange just like you put your body part and a body part and we we decide that that is like I'm done with the stress like America is like everything's got to be a [ __ ] problem you know even you know like uh you know I I I posted a GoFundMe the Other the other day like just helping out a friend who has cancer and you know instead of PE I donated but instead of people donating what were my message is why can't you just pay the gofund remember remember

when Jeff Bezos donated a $100 million and people were like that's only XYZ per of his 100 million yeah it's so much money I did also see that he makes it in 11 hours I was like I was like oh dude I was at a comedy club last week and and I I was at A comic club last week and they were saying uh a comic who does very very very well like worth millions and millions and millions of dollars gave the staff the entire staff of the comedy club you know wanted to split between

maybe it was 10 workers he gave them an extra $5,000 he just gave them 5,000 bucks and these people were not happy they were like yeah but think about how much money he makes I'm like dude you all just got an extra $500 each that's Not what you make in a week at this comy club he just gave it to you what the [ __ ] are you talking about that's but that's why you're you and he's him you know there's a point of that too it's like you think like everyone's out to get you

and you have all this resistance in your life where that guy just went out there and [ __ ] became who he became you know which I will tell you on the patreon who it was yeah all right Bud we appreciate you Man thank you for coming love thank you see on Club sh Shay tell me what I need to do to get the blacks we say February 21st is when the special February 21st is when the Hulu special comes out next year in New York be next year in New York be here in the

in September bigger building YouTube yes and the youtube.com/ chrisy comedy every Sunday 7:00 p.m. eastern time you see this week's material some of it material some of it's crowd workor some of it's a mix We have a fun thing I talk about if you stay tuned for after the videos I usually go through what I liked what I didn't like it's just more content for me and uh you know hopefully you guys uh enjoy it and still also want to come out to my shows cuz I desperately need it even if you're white even if

you're white yes yes even if you're white you can come [Music] [Music] He [Music] [Music] [Music] n [Music]