okay Lindsay Lindsay where have you been I've been looking for you for like almost three weeks now since we last spoke and you disappeared from Hollywood yeah I went to jail you're in jail yeah I am can you just be really brief about what what for I don't need all the details yeah assault with a deadly weapon assault with a deadly weapon yes I mean I went into popeye's and put a knife to somebody's throat why did you do this um I was honestly coming off of drugs and I drank a little bit of alcohol
then I got angry because uh nobody loves me I thought that nobody loved me but Ben does this is a daughter nice and about three hundred thousand of my viewers yeah yeah um thank you guys for all the comments anyways yeah she just she just got out of jail yeah I haven't been able to read them you just go to jail just that minutes ago right oh yeah then I helps Ben is an old friend of yours yeah though I've never met but yeah he called me out of the blue and said yeah if you
saw the video and said and then I've also been speaking with your mom over the last couple weeks how'd that go very well I mean very nice I mean she we're all kind of violence that was similar page that you know it seems to me like your medication is a big part of some of your problems yes if you don't take them things go haywire yeah it sounds like um yeah pretty much I mean you didn't you'd agree with that yeah it's a common story you don't Alan because a lot of the people I'm talking
to we want to blame the drugs but honestly the problem more of a mental problem they're not taking their medications so they end up taking then they take drugs and then if it looks like a drug problem but it's honestly a mental issue yeah yeah so you've been in jail for almost three weeks two and a half weeks and how was that uh jail sucks it's very cold in the suicide dorm um they ignore you well they ignored me they wouldn't give me a grievance or a medical paper to speak to the doctors they make
it very cold in the room when they whenever I told him I was anemic they mistreat you very bad in the dorm 1202 twelve Oh once not so bad but 1403 is the mental place I was supposed to get my clothes back but they never gave them back to me don't know why but whatever I mean a lot of stuff escalated towards me going to jail like almost being raped I kind of almost did get raped actually if I wouldn't put my knee up against his chest and pushed him off and then just like locked
him in the head he wouldn't and then screamed he wouldn't have left me alone I stayed in a tent with a guy that was going to hurt me because he had a knife and I said hey can I um can I hold your knife because something don't feel right so he gave me his knife that night he went to sleep and I stayed up all night if I hadn't have had that knife this guy would it came in and hurt us because this guy that I didn't know poked his head in the tent and I
swore I switched off the switchblade and I said get the [ __ ] out and he got pissed off so he took all the money by the door of the tent and left and then whenever my friend woke up I told him what happened and he was mad because all the money was gone on the street this was crazy like that yeah it is crazy the same guy whenever I try to get away from him before when he had his knife which led up to this story that I just told you this little tidbit I
just told you he I tried to get away from him one night and I was walking Hollywood Boulevard try and stay on camera I trying to stay in sight I went to in front of the cameras of Hard Rock Cafe I went in front of every camera that I could find and he was following me so I had to like keep a good eye out on him and just changed sides of the street I got away from that and then I took his knife did this happened the night after you and I spoke yeah the
same day oh yeah well no actually um wait yes yes okay I think it was um you mom I'm sorry according to your mom because she had the date of the arrest and then I looked at the date of the videos the same day uh yeah my mom doesn't know anything about how I'm doing out here other than through Ben I wish he'd just leave me the [ __ ] alone honestly I really do get [ __ ] sick of her stalking me and trying to find out everything little bit every little thing about my
life mom I'm [ __ ] sick of you leave me the [ __ ] alone what would you like to see happen for you for Berlin from here yeah I would love to just like maybe go to rehab get a social worker get my own place and start my life that's what I would like to see happen I mean I would go to rehab because you know people can't just stop thinking about drugs did you just you just don't stop thinking about it you know you got to go to rehab and get help yeah I
think they were actually quite a few comments from people that were in rehabs and therapists and all kinds of people that offered up their their services to you so maybe on this video we can kind of get in touch with some of those people where do you think the chances are of you sticking with the recovery program and just falling to me chances of that are very good because I feel I need it are you clean right now cuz you've been in jail for three yeah I am I mean would I go back out there
and do drugs no but I still think I need rehab yeah in order to get a social worker in order to get my own place the night that actually the same day that you gave me the money for the previous interview yes I went to buy alcohol with it and I was in a frantic mindset because nobody like I said nobody gave a [ __ ] about me so I tried to buy alcohol and I accidentally tried to buy it with my food stamps card one time and then I accidentally tried to buy it with
my social security one time because I never have cash I never had money in hand so I'm not used to having money in hand well Ben seems like a good friend yes yes he's gonna let you stay with him for a few days uh hopefully my court dates tomorrow Oh your birthday's tomorrow yeah which is it's good that you're out yeah I mean right now I think all I need to do is well all I want to do right now cuz I don't know how jails gonna go I just wanted to smoke a blunt and
eat and just chill in a bed that's all I want to do you can probably do two or three of those maybe all three dents I'm sure boy I want to go back to Hollywood you want go back to the streets not the streets I just want to walk around the Hollywood Boulevard okay as long as you don't end up in the same kind of as long as I'm not there in the nighttime I think I'll be alright because it gets cold at night and I'm anemic so I can't really just sleep on the streets
with no blanket I have to be in a tent or have a blanket or walk around all night and deprive myself of sleep and maybe sleep in the Sun but that's what the bracelets in jail look like so tell me about jail what was the worst part um I think the worst part was being cold and being mistreated probably coming off the drugs see right uh yeah kind of yeah yeah you been in jail before yes that time was it also like your medications might have been offer something you weren't taking that may have triggered
that uh the first time I went to jail in Florida I wasn't on any medication actually I would just come home drunk and uh get something to eat and try to go to my room and my mom would aggravate me to the fullest extent to the point where I would throw my food or yell or something because I believe I'm autistic and she would she never leaves me the [ __ ] alone and then I get called the cops called on me and then I go to jail just because she doesn't want me home or
she needs a break or some [ __ ] like that instead of just telling me to get out she has a [ __ ] for you so she showed me a picture of her backyard who was shed I'm not going back home why the [ __ ] should I have to stay in a shed why can't I stay in that house you know I'm just messages she wanted me to tell you oh okay I mean their lessons they're brand new shed and unless it's in my name and unless I'm we've left the [ __ ]
alone maybe but other than that no another you're out you guys obviously I don't know if I'll speak to her again all right the rehab do you think is where is it the alcohol is the drugs is the whole thing is it tell me what who do you think is rehab it's song I don't know I'll go for whatever they think I need to go for it no probably figure that out yeah I mean Ben's nice enough to let me stay with him so yeah he has a good nice guy yes when I listen to
your story the first time what I heard and I'm not I don't claim to be an expert but they reminded me of like when I was maybe your age and there were times where I just could not love myself I just refused I just couldn't get a handle on loving myself so you end up having these really dark thoughts and then you know that's just part of it you know growing up and maturing and the age you're at you're 26 mm-hmm yeah and I see my daughters who are younger than you slightly but going through
similar kind of emotions and I almost think it's part of humans growing up and as we age we mellow a little bit but it doesn't make the pain that you're in any less it is what it is you want to know what I think what do you think I think that nobody should have to grow up I'm not gonna grow up I mean just cuz I have a job and [ __ ] in the house and everything I'm not gonna grow up yeah well that's a healthy attitude too that's that's why girl up yeah I'm
a lot older than you and I still feel like I'm 20 years old I still think I am I mean my mom would love to see me grow up maybe that's why I don't want to grow up she would love to see me blonde maybe that's why I want to die all of my hair black she'd love to see me in pink but I'm not gonna be in pink what cares you're like what color is your hair naturally blonde yeah oh my god your hair should be dyed yeah yeah it makes it look fuller you
know well just is yours I can't imagine you as a blonde well I'd love to help you out in some way I guess we should see how the hearing goes tomorrow is it yeah let's see how that goes and then we'll not we'll go from there I think I think my viewers would love to help you I would love to help you I think it's thank you guys I'm very kind about a lot of lovely very supportive viewers that really care want to see you do better okay killing well thank you for coming back and
they will talk again after your hearing let's do it see how that goes okay all right Tracy thanks thank you you
