Michael Singer - The Inner Sport of Letting Go

G g when you do HA the yoga people think that's what yoga is but it's not one of the greatest things you learn is how to relax through disturbance if you're doing a yoga properly it's a stretching and there are certain muscles or postures that are not all that totally comfortable and you're always taught any yoga teacher will teach you relax Through the disturbance relax through the pain don't push it you know don't hurt yourself but just relax and you'll find that if you relax each time you relax you can go a little bit deeper

into the posture now I don't teach ha yoga I used to do a fair amount I don't do a whole lot now but what it taught me was how to relax through disturbance and that is the essence of your spiritual path if you learn anything from those Postures it's how to say I don't want to be in this posture there's something inside of me that wants to get up it doesn't want to do this anymore and you relax and then it talks quieter then it starts again then you relax and then at some point you

start feeling the beauty of the shaky flow of an energy flow of of the release of tension and then the flow of energy can get you high can intoxicate you which is why yoga is the highest form of exercise because it's Not just for the muscles or the structure of the body because you're relaxing through the disturbance through the tensions you're letting go of blockages you're learning to do this but that is to be used inside not just outside that's what you really learn is okay I can do these postures I can relax I can

be good it touching my toes or doing different awesomess different things but when I get up somebody looks at me and says well you Didn't do that right I did so I did it right according to the book right away something jumps up inside of you that's where the relaxation makes a difference and that's where the rubber hits the road if you're not dealing with that the inside ASA the inside relaxation the inside release of tension you're not going to grow spiritually you may look like you are you may glow a little bit and look

healthy but you're not going grow spiritually just like if you sit There and do the oenis and every single time they start to cause some sort of resistance you stop nothing's going to happen weightlifting they say no pain no gain don't they all right really focus on what we've talked about some they do say that don't they in other words if you're not pushing the muscle Beyond its level of comfort it's not getting stronger now if you push it way past that it gets hurt but you know you should at least go a little bit

and That's what they mean by no pain no gain when when you're getting a massage I've talked about this before I don't do a lot of massages but people do and I've done enough to know that if they have strong hands it's going to hurt you know they're going to find some spot you're going to go and then you're going to say right there you don't hit the guy or the gal you sit there and you say right right there right there that yeah right there right there that's the pain right Or wrong well why

are you doing that I thought you didn't like pain cuz you've learned that if you relax your way through it it leades you feeling much much better it it helps the entire situation you don't get a massage because it just feels good all the time it's not doing anything it's basically you're trying to release tensions release things but in order to do so there's going to be pain there's going to be disturbance except you like that Disturbance because you know it's going to make you feel better okay you learn to actually like it I'm here

to tell you that you have to do the same thing inside I swear to you that's what it's all about what do you mean you guys you can hand outside you can play sports and get her I can keep going my fingers bent I I watch it football his shoulders out he goes bam okay I'll play they handle it you need to do that inside and we're babies inside even Their babies inside okay get this big Macho people and they can't handle their heart they can't handle their emotions can't handle a single thing so you

come inside and that's where we're going to do yoga inside that yoga I'll teach so what does that mean it means that almost every moment of your life there's shifts going on in there people say something people don't say something people look like something if you don't look like something you notice you drop something In your pants or your skirt or you see something whatever it is you have a thought I'm embarrassed I have a thought but that result is it's always changing in there isn't it are you willing to relax through the disturbance that

you're experiencing inside and the answer is no until you're taught to and first you have to be taught why would I what you do is protect yourself if somebody says something you defend yourself immediately instantaneously That's not true well that's like going to an o that hurts ain't going to get any worse you have to learn that the inner growth the inner tension the inner reactiveness of pushing it away is equivalent to no pain no gain or or massage or not doing it not going anywhere and people are not used to that their heart is

very very sensitive the mind is extremely sensitive and basically they defend themselves they don't just defend thems listen to me at Least when you're doing yoga or a massage or weightlifting you wait until it actually gets to a point that you're not comfortable before you quit you don't do that with your heart you use your mind to think what might make my heart hurt and how I make sure that doesn't happen you always thinking about can I trust him what if he does it what he's lying to me I don't understand why is he talking

to her okay I don't need to give you the examples you listen to Him all day okay you don't even wait for it to hurt you don't wait for it to happen you so much don't want it to happen that you practice protectiveness you use your mind your mind is protecting your heart that's one of the reason mind talks so much how do I figure out how to get everybody the way I need them to be so it doesn't hurt me what do I need to wear what I need to say how do I need

my hair how do I need my this that kind of car do I need to Drive everything so that I feel comfortable being the presence of other people well what happens if you don't feel comfortable then I don't feel comfortable so what I'm going to tell you that not feeling comfortable is equivalent to no pain no gain is equivalent to oh right there you got it is equivalent to relaxing into the ASA the fact that you can't handle inside not feeling comfortable so much so that you devote your life to making sure it Doesn't happen

well like you want to devote your life to making sure that you don't have a no pain no gain with weightlifting don't lift weights don't go to the gym you want to make sure that you don't get into a situation where stretching hurts and is uncomfortable with yoga don't do yoga don't get massages that's the same thing to me somehow you think the outside is different than the inside no it's not different if you're going to protect Yourself from any discomfort forget it you'll end up locking the doors of your houses with triple locks putting

bars on the windows in other words you put yourself in jail so you put bars over across your windows locks on your doors why I'm afraid that something might happen so now you've locked yourself I'm not tell you you can't do that some places you better do that but the result is even if you live in a nice place your mind convinces you that something might Happen and so you sit there and lock yourself in a prison life is not welcome to come into your house it's only welcome for you to control what's going to

go on who gets in what happens what they're doing to me the ultimate story somebody once told me that their grandmother lived in Brooklyn and she was up on like the you know I don't know 50 60th floor of a tenement apartment she's older and they told me that she looks out the you how far down that Window is a cars are like this big all right she looks out the window and if there's a car there she doesn't familiar with she doesn't know why it's there she can't sleep at night that is an extreme

of not being able to handle something might happen I'm uncomfortable so I need to control everything I need to protect everything you know you're that way we're all control freaks I have to make sure I'm only surrounded by people who like me what if you walk into a room you Know everybody doesn't like you I ain't going in why would I go in in other words I don't want to feel discomfort how about we say that I don't want to feel discomfort well how many types of discomfort are there well a lot of them I

feel insecure I feel rejected I don't feel loved I feel scared I feel vulnerable I feel self conscious come on how many are there a ton of those suckers aren't there right and you are sitting there saying I don't want to Experience this so therefore I'm going to manipulate and control life so that I don't have to feel discomfort inside myself and some people say that's the purpose of life that's what you're doing it is not it is not the purpose of yoga to not get into a posture that you have to stretch not the

purpose of weightlifting to never get to the point that you're building your muscles you know that's not the purpose of those things you would never think that was The purpose of those things let's say you're doing a sport you learn to play tennis and basically you're decent with the forehand but you're not decent with backham well then make sure your coach never hits backham why I'm not good at it it makes me feel uncapable why did you hit in that direction you know I can't hit in that direction imagine talking to your coach that way

imagine talking to your husband wife or or spouse how could you say you know I Don't like when you say that you know I don't like when you're late you know I don't like when you come call and tell me that you're going to be late you know I don't like when you forget the anniversary which anniversary there was a one we anniversary you hear me you have defined the fact that you can get uncomfortable as wrong that's like saying it's wrong to stretch in yoga it's wrong to to sports are good I want to

go stay with that one CU you know if You got a coach they're going to hit the ball where you're not good why so that you can get better no they're trying to embarrass me no they're not not trying to embarrass you they're not trying to hurt you they're trying to help you wow I got I like that one better than the massage or the yoga cuz you got that one don't you there's no one that doesn't want to get better at the sport that there trying to get and they only get better by working

where they're not good It doesn't do any good to hit me forehand if that's my strong point okay so basically I'm telling you this is a sport inside yourself you're playing a sport what's a sport life who's your coach life you hear me you don't need a life coach you have a life coach it's life life is your life coach it's going to do things that hit your stuff that's equivalent to it's going to hit backhands when you're not good at it Well by the way let's define stuff for a moment in all the books

that I wrote I tried to just use the word stuff and Karen says no you can't use stuff okay you got to be more explicit your blockages your this I like your stuff you got stuff in there you got stuff in there you know just when I say stuff what is the stuff the stuff you're not good at all right I'm not good at meeting new people And you think that's who I am I'm someone who's not good at meeting new people I'm someone that can't hit backhand I'm going to stay with this I'm sorry

right that's who I am do you play tennis yes but I'm someone who can't hit backhand do you like relationships yes as long as the person talks to me the way I want to talk to and addess the to addess and acts the way I want them to act and always does what they said they were going to do and never disappoints Me and doesn't hurt me when he hurt you doesn't never do anything I'm not good at well no they did it no the coach it's the coach's fault he hit the backhand he forced

her to the backhand no it's your fault for not being able to hit the backhand it's not the coach's fault that he hit the backhand to you it's life it's tennis you got to hit everything okay it's not the person's fault that they were going about their business and you couldn't handle it now I don't have To go to the extremes if they pulled a knife and a gun I understand that let's just stay within the realm of everyday life all right we can go further out later if you want to but at least everyday

life you know it's hot out somebody didn't call on time you got a flat tire and late the light turned red and you really wanted to get somewhere you're following somebody said follow me and they passed the light and you had got caught on it your mind can't handle That what am I going to do I won't find way why didn't they stop what kind of stupid thing is that but can I do life anybody got it life don't go extreme with me stay with everyday life you can't handle it for the same reason that

when the coach hits the backand you can't handle it why because you didn't build and practice your back can you didn't get good at what you weren't good at I see the inside is exactly the same you're not good at handling life are you And because you're not good at handling life you have to make sure that what you can't handle doesn't happen how do you do that you manipulate you pay the coach look I've been paying I'll double your salary if you don't hit back hands to me cuz I get embarrassed there's other people

practicing I don't like what happens you normally could back and why did you hit it there wow you know I can't handle when you said that you know I don't like when you wear that shirt it Reminds me of my ex-husband right he used to wear a shirt like that I told you don't do that I like the line that says you know that we don't talk about that around your father anybody with me I'm trying to take what is normal outside that you'd laugh your head off if somebody did that and you realize you're

doing it inside because you're not good at handling the fluctuations of your heart or the fluctuation of your mind oh my God you Know you said that I couldn't sleep at night it just drove me crazy why did you say that wow it doesn't matter what they said like maybe they said you do understand that someday you're going to die well I mean what what are you bringing that up for you know I'm not comfortable with that right I have a whole bucket list and I haven't even started to fill it in yet I can't

even now I'm scared to go to bed cuz I might die wow you know what I call that Neurotic that's what that is so now let's get a little more positive you are exactly like the person learning tennis that isn't good at backand or slam shots or whatever it is or serves you can learn well why would I learn I'm good at forehand I'm not even going to answer that for you because you ain't going to play tennis if you're only good at forehand sometimes my serves are so fast nobody can get them back they're

Aces one in 20 one of my serves I'm good at Tennis no you can hit one of 20 serves in right you better learn backand you better learn HD returns you better learn everything if you want to be good at something it is exactly the same inside you're playing a sport inside you're playing tennis with life what do you mean life hits balls at you doesn't it all the time these things are coming at you certain ones of them you're supposed to take care of it's called your job if you're a doctor a patient comes

in you Help them if you're an accountant you do numbers these are we call your Dharma that's not personal that's your job and you're supposed to do the best you can at your job and if it requires planning you plan so it's not that you don't use your mind the problem is when you're not okay handling yourself has nothing to do with the patient or the accounting or the client or rocket science it has to do with me in here I can't handle my own heart and I can't handle my own mind and Therefore what

I'm doing is manipulating the environment around me so that I don't have to handle my heart and my mind it doesn't feel good when my hurts it doesn't feel good when I get scared it doesn't feel good I feel insecure doesn't feel good if I don't feel trusting the person that I've opened to it doesn't feel good and I can't handle it so what do you do I go out there and manipulate the situation it doesn't happen you may think that's rational but I'm telling you that's exactly the same as making sure the coach doesn't

hit backhand to you sit with that you're not going to get good at it you're just basically saying this is where I'm at and that's what it is and you better straighten up or you're out of here to everything including the weather that's so humid and stuff and I'm going to move out to Arizona but there's rattlesnakes why' you have to say that I don't like snakes You're neurotic you're neurotic because you can't handle yourself well guess what just like you can learn you have to learn to be a tennis pro but you can be

better at backhand than when you first started can't you how practice by doing techniques and practice that help you do better is the same thing inside and that's what spiritual growth is yes meditation helps yes you can hang out with highy people yes you can do mantras yes you can do all the things that They're very useful when it's all said and done if you're not doing what I'm talking about you're not growing I don't care you can go somewhere you get high with weekend meditation or get Chuy pot or do something like that all

right yeah you can do all kinds of things or have visions if you're not doing what I'm talking about you're not growing so you can go watch Tennis movies all you want you can watch Mac and Rach somebody else play wonderful Tennis Borg oh look how good he is it makes you feel good oh that's just watching you ain't doing it you need to come in here with the rubber hits the road and say my job is to learn to hit backhand and yes I'm going to feel weird and embarrassed because I can't okay that's

part of handling if I can't handle the fact that I'm on a court with other people and I'm the worst one hitting backhand and I can't handle that I'm not going to get good at backhand so I better be able to handle what's going on inside of me so that I can perfect myself so that I can grow so I can be greater than how I am right now how do you do that you do it the exact same way as you yoga relaxes through your awesomeness something comes in and you notice it doesn't feel

good and you notice the tendency to react to defend to close to jump to do something because it doesn't feel good and you think not feeling good inside is wrong that is Like saying not being able to hit the backand is wrong it's not wrong it's a state of affairs you need to get better at or not be able to go into the OCA very deeply it's not wrong to feel that stretching to feel that pain so first you get over that concept that it is wrong to feel IND disturbance inside of you it is

not wrong to feel disturbance inside of you and if you blame it on the person place or thing including the Sun or rain makes you feel Disturbed some Sometimes doesn't it so human I can't breathe oh my God it's pouring rain I have to get out of the car I'm going to get wet wo that's that's a killer baby getting wet okay so but basically you can't handle it so first prerequisite spiritual growth is stop thinking that to have something that happens that disturbs you inside means it was wrong it means you have not learned

to handle that thing and really it's not that you didn't learn to handle the thing you Didn't learn to handle the disturbance that the thing created if somebody comes up to you and hugs you and kisses you and you like them that's a wonderful experience somebody comes up to you and hugs you and kisses you and you don't even know them and you think they're disgusting you call the police it's you who decides how you're reacting inside and what you're saying is if the reaction inside is uncomfortable it's wrong instead of sitting there saying oh

I got some work to do in here oh my God that is what a spiritual person says I got some work to do in here I'll worry about the situation in a moment maybe I need to deal with it maybe it was out of place but I need to be able to handle things that's the next Main Line we're going to talk about I can't handle this I can't handle this let's go slower what does that mean I can't handle this you know what it means I can't handle this it means you have no right

to be in the Situation I can't hit backand I can't handle this same thing I'm not good enough within myself to be able to deal with this situation whoa whoa I'm going be serious with you is that what it says if I can't handle it it means you can't deal with it cuz hand what handling mean I can handle it I can deal with it I can be there and prove thing and do better and help and do whatever it is I can handle it you go drive past an accident and somebody's hurt and there's

blood I Can't handle the out of blood but then you're of no use you can't help the person can you because you can't hand the side of blood it's the same thing with everything if you say I can't handle this then you can't and therefore you're of no use not dissing you putting you down right but you're of no use because you don't belong there because you can't handle it okay so basically ultimately it's not that you can't handle the sight Of blood that's not true you can't handle what you feel because of the sight

of blood if you felt excited that you get to help somebody because a side of blood then I can handle it you can't handle yourself that's what you can't handle you can't handle what came up inside of you the reaction of your heart and of your mind that reaction you can't handle in other words you can't handle yourself so some point you understand spiritual growth is about changing that Paradigm always it's about changing that paradigm growing becoming a greater being not great enough to control and manipulate everything around me so I don't have to deal

with me it's about dealing with me not dealing with everything else unless it's your job I draw the distinction between impersonal and personal impersonal means I'm doing it because I'm supposed to be doing it personal means I'm doing it because I can't handle it either I want it so Badly then I I'm getting weird or I don't want it so B that I'm getting weird that's how you tell it's personal you're getting weird okay that's a person one means it means if it happens one way or another I get weird oh my God don't leave

I love being with you oh don't please tell me you be here for okay you're getting weird I couldn't sleep last night why I was I miss you so much you're getting weird okay or oh my God I can't believe That happened can't believe you said that to me I couldn't sleep last night I was so Disturbed you're getting weird fear and desire make you weird don't they come on all right and people say no if I'm getting what I desire I you get weird even then all right but basically you think desire is so

great I want you to desire something with all your heart it's so beautiful all your heart and soul but he lives over in Europe and you can't go there how you Doing oh my heart hurts so bad why I thought you like desire no only if I'm getting what I desire well how was that happen it happens some and by the way you even get weird there you change everything you leave your family you leave everybody you do you sell everything out right oh my God so what does it boil down to it boils down

to things happen tennis balls come at you and you react and your tendency until we have this talk and you really get Serious about spiritual growth is to say no no no no I can handle that therefore I'm going to make it not happen ever again go sleep on the couch for two weeks is basically I am going to manipulate train like a dog all right so and I tell you keep going back like telling your coach don't you hit me back can you know I'm not good at that I can't handle that all right

so now what do you do you take a look at it and you say all right it's true I'm very Sensitive my emotions are sensitive my mind is sensitive and I can handle things very well certain things I can't handle them well some people can't handle their emotions some people can't handle their thoughts some people can't handle both all right that result is if you can't handle the shifts that go on in your heart and in your mind you're going to try to control and manipulate everything in front of you to try and make so

you don't have to now that may Sound rational to you if it does you're come to the wrong place for the wrong lecture because that's the same as saying I can't hit backhand don't hit it there so what do you do when you catch on you sit there and say the purpose of my life not of this relationship not of this job the purpose of my life is to grow inwardly Evolution has taken place pretty good on your bodies compared to any other animal your body is pretty perfected you may not run as fast as

a Cheetah but they can't travel to Europe you are just amazing you're amazing what your body is capable of doing including your mind which is very evolved and can build airplanes and rocket ships what other animal can go to the Moon if you didn't take them there nothing you have a phenomenal gift of this phenomenal evolved body that went through Evolution and gave you this inside you're not so evolved what did Darwin say that Evolution was Survival the Fest adaptability that's what evolution is adaptability you adapt real well to a lot of different situations no

you control them so they don't happen so this is the evolution that's taking place once you have taken human birth you took human birth and now it's about evolving inwardly all right and I spent this entire part of the talk letting you understand we're not very evolved inwardly you think you are because you have the Power to control and manipulate that is not evolved what you're doing is avoiding your Evolution I can't handle something so I'm going to make sure it doesn't happen that's not adaptability that's avoiding the growth that can take place inside and

we'll go further into that so how do you use life to grow inwardly you start off and that's why all my teachers are I don't teach techniques I never want to teach techniques I wanted to teach you why you Need a technique cuz they give you a technique and you go do it's not going to do squat if you don't know why you're using it people write us all the time I read the past for 30 years 20 years I've read all the books but I never really understood why I was doing what they told

me to do I could meditate but then I get up and it gets weird right the understanding that what is about is evolution inside what does that mean that you can handle Things that's adaptability if you can't handle it you're not adapted I can only handle the temperature from 68 to 72 if it gets higher than that I'm uncomfortable gets lower than that I'm uncomfortable and humidity no I ain't getting above 50% or my hair frizzes and I can't handle that can you handle if your hair frizzes can handle somebody doesn't like you I told

you once I'm going to jump real quick now to where we're going you want how you've evolved A lot you're standing with some friends of yours you're talking and somebody shows up across the street and you stop for a second and they start walking towards you and you turn to your friends say oh my God this is embarrassing they love me so much I don't know why there's such respect for me they think I walk on water just wait wait you see they come out say such nice things all right but don't say anything okay

how you doing I'm doing good you not bad now that Person leaves now somebody else shows up across the street when you can turn your friends oh my god look he hates my guts he when you see come over here should say the meanest thing that anybody ever said he disses me all the time and you have equal amount of fun with both what does that mean I can handle it I can handle if somebody respects me a lot I don't get weird I have to own them I have to make sure that every time

I show up that I'm really impressive right I Dress what was it they liked about that's who you are come on you went on a date or something so oh I really like being with you what did I wear can I wear it again what what was my perfume what was my cologne what did I say that they like so much you get all nervous you get nervous cuz they liked you and you get nervous if they don't like you I told you it's called I can't handle it I can't handle it so what spiritual

growth is about is I can handle it doesn't mean I'm good at it yet I can handle that he hit backhand at me I may not be able to turn it yet but I can at least handle the fact that he did I'm not yelling at him stop that I told you not to do that I don't like when you do that all right so the first part is you understand that the discomfort that happens inside of you is part of your Evolution and then the fact that you take the position that my job is

to evolve my job is to work with it not to manipulate everything Outside of me so it doesn't ever happen well how do you do your job in the new book I go into very that's the first time I ever really tried to write techniques and it says all right don't try to do the big stuff first so if you're scared to death of this or that or you get really really upset if somebody does something don't even touch it don't even get near it why because if Borg hits you a backand with a full

slam and you can't even hit when the coach Does it you're not going to be able to return it and you stop tennis instantaneously I'm not good at this forget it I quit all right you start with the small stuff yes the big the big stuff's happening anyways I'll tell you to make it happen it happens okay you're not good at it yet the way you get good at playing the piano is not to take on Mo bethoven it's to start with the scales that may seem ridiculous but it's not you have to start with

the scales It's the same thing with tennis you get one of those ball thrower things the machines that hit at different angles and you do the best you can you're called practice makes perfect is the same thing inside but you don't start with the really tough stuff because you're not going to be able to do it so what do you start with the lwh hanging fruit what is that there are things that happen it's embarrassing to talk about you don't even notice it there are Things that happen a lot of times a day with you

that there's nothing wrong with what happened except that you don't like it I don't like when it's above 80 degrees I don't like sweating I don't like having to go outside when it's hot I don't like going outside when it's cold what do you mean you're just walking from one building to another I don't care I don't like when it's cold out all right now come on you can handle that you're just choosing how about this You have the L hanging fruit is you can handle that you just chose not to you can handle walking

out in the sun when it's hot and you okay I need to deal with this your air conditioning your car broke down you have to drive to work you can handle that you can handle that you just chose not to but you're going to have to but now you handle it by complaining every single minute of every single step of that drive oh my God it's so hot this ridiculous if I didn't fix My air conditioning I took it in just last week blah blah blah blah blah fair enough is that just me or you

do that too okay that's where your work is now what literally I'm saying the coach said okay I understand you get up tight with the backand right do this he takes the ball loves it over there toward your backand all right you can handle that you don't have to fre weak out that he hit it to your backand that's the low hanging fruit if you don't start there You're not going to get better you have to start somewhere so I'm telling you start with those kind of situations you're driving down the street you're in a

rush and it's a single Lane you can't pass and the person is driving 10 miles hour below the speed limit that's my favorite example because if you're like me you don't like that all right so you're all like me aren't you so basically unless you're the person that's driving 10 m hour below the speed Then you don't like that the car behind you is tailgating you one way or another all it takes is driving traffic lights being a little bit late the temperature the weather you hear me there's so many things that happen that you

don't realize you can't handle them how do you know you can't handle because you're complaining you don't complain what you can't handle you complain about what you can't handle so you have to start somewhere to change to grow to practice And I'm urging you I'm telling you it matters it's the most important thing you can do at that stage of spiritual growth to say all right come on this is silly I can handle this wow you now changed the game you said I can handle this now how do I handle it relax exactly the same

as what you do in the yoga posture exactly what you do in the massage okay come on who says it's going to hurt there because you got some stuff there I can handle it good I can handle It try to relax don't tense against it that doesn't help you are capable aren't you of understanding that you try to relax that area you do the same thing inside exactly the same thing every single time you sit there and say okay I can handle this is ridiculous at least I should be able to handle this it's crazy

all right there's a line in a new book the moment in front of you is not bothering you you are bothering yourself about the moment in front of You well how about we stop it there's the answer well what's the technique stop it take a different attitude in there I want the practice to be able to handle these minor minuscal disturbances they're only disturbance because I said they were I said I don't like it now therefore you get Disturbed all right I like it I like it I I don't want to go to work on

time I just do this stupid thing and they'll give it to somebody Else oh my God this is great I was caught in traffic all right now how do you feel W wonderful I love it don't turn in front of me oh God keep going go off the road so it's like it's just youve decided you don't like it so it bothers you that's where I want you to work I tried to explain in the new book exactly the way you could tell it's low hanging free and how you can tell if you let it

go inside there's nothing else to do there's no one to talk to there's Nothing else to do about it you're not going to do anything about the driver in front of you you're not going to do anything about the weather you're not going to do anything about these different things you're just in there bothering yourself about them stop it how the technique I have learned and people seem to do very well with it they from all over the world relax and at first they say what do you mean I mean relax in the face of

the discomfort you Are feeling instead of resisting it or doing something they always say but you're not comfortable you want to do something about it I agree I agree when you're not comfortable you want to do something about it don't you you know what you do relax that's what you do about it not argue not fight not complain relax relax and then they say but it won't relax I've been through this 50 years or I know all the things it won't relax what You're trying to say is there's a part of me that is getting

uptight it won't relax I didn't tell it to relax of tightness doesn't know how to relax I told you to relax you in there noticing that it's getting uptight you're in there aren't you you're telling me it got real uptight my stomach got tight and my heart started to hurt how do you know cuz I'm in here stupid good that's who I want to relax I want want you to relax you who would have used your inner Hands to push it away or do something about it relax your hands you have inner hands in there

don't you you push stuff around in there don't you push emotions away and hold on to them push thoughts away okay relax those hands relax those arms that's what I'm talking about don't try to make the thing that Disturbed you outside not happen and don't try to make the disturbance that happened inside that's just a habit that you have to be disturbed about that you relax and What's going to happen is you're going to find out that you gave room for what was getting Disturbed to pass through all kinds of things pass through the White

Lies pass through the trees pass through the other cars pass right like 99% I used say 95 maybe it's 99% of every single thing that comes into your senses all day passes right through look at how much you look at but only the little things bother you so let it pass through and when it does now we'll go to The next level at some point you realize why am I getting up tired about these stupid things why do he get up tight if he's 10 minutes late why do he get up tight if when he

calls he doesn't sound all excited to talk to me why do I have all these things okay now we're ready to go to the next level the shallowest thing to do is to say I can't handle it I'll manipulate the outside so it doesn't happen I'll be neurotic I'm driving I'm in traffic and I'm the Person that drove across the median and went in the wrong direction to K out of the traffic okay that's not really good okay so basically you couldn't handle it enough to you did something weird that's outside all right or you

yelled at somebody get went into road rage second I can't handle an inside so I suppress it I push it away and I complain and I hate it and just all that I I love those words I can't handle this I hate it I can't believe it's happening why would God do something of this to me oh that's good wonderful relationship and so you push it away outside you push it away inside or if you don't push it away you Center yourself you relax you can do Mantra you can do whatever you want positive thinking

I don't care just don't push it away because you allowed it to come closer to you you will start to see why it's happening how come you don't get uptight in the traffic and she does hey wait how come you don't get Uptight when he does something that you don't like we don't I couldn't care that's what he does I'm assuming you're together but if your boyfriend does something you don't like you get a tight nobody else does how come you do it's actually a rational question because you have stuff going inside you predetermined that

I have a certain way I want this person to act we don't even know the person we don't care if we act we don't care if he forget your Anniversary don't bother us at all doesn't well maybe you grew up in a household where nobody did things with anniversaries it doesn't have to bother you maybe you grew up in a household where your mother told you that he forgets that anniversary get divorced that means he doesn't love you that's how you tell if he loves you okay in other words you store stuff now we're getting

to the bottom of this you stored stuff inside of you based upon Experiences you've had in your life that made you like certain things and not like certain things they made you sensitive about some things not senstive about the others you're not born that way it's not genetics BF Skinner the psychologist said man is the sum of his learned experiences you're not the sum of your learned experien you're the Consciousness that is noticing that your heart and your mind and your entire psyche are the some of your learned Experiences can they change can you sit

there and have a terrible relationship with somebody you don't want to see them again and then something happened and all of a sudden you like them yes or no or more like he the other way around you like them a lot they say one thing you find out one thing about them you don't like them anymore all right some of your learn experiences if you didn't have that one experience youd think differently I've seen people change Their entire relationship with their family with this with anything but their ex-husband they had terrible divorce all of a

sudden it happens people actually remarry I know someone got remarried three times to the same person don't you laugh it's true well what's that all about he you get to change your mind you had a different experience so something changed how you were looking at stuff so this not predetermined it's not a Pattern in there you're you're programmed by your past experiences and so you start noticing that's why the reactions are the way they are you can't see that when you're manipulating controlling you can't handle it like if you can't handle I hate to have

to go to this level but I want to this time if you can't handle that a backhand shot came at you and you freak out and you starts yelling I know I can't do that you'll never see why you can't do it and You'll never get better if all of a sudden okay you calm yourself down come on there's a l and you see that your arm gets tense that there's this reaction and all of a sudden because you bother to be there you can see what's happening well that's the same thing inside and you

start to see that the reason all these reactions and closings and openings and stuff are taking place in the heart and mind are because I've decided how I want things to be haven't You I have a self-concept I have an ego I have a self-concept based on all the things that have happened to me I decided what I want to happen or what I don't want to happen is that just me again or you got that stuff of course you do that's what the ego is the ego isn't a thing it's a mental pattern that

you build as your self-concept I'm the person that likes this and I don't like that and I don't like this and I like that and I can handle this but I can't Handle that you got it all going on you all figured out if something happens that doesn't match your self-concept I guarantee you you don't feel good if something happens that does you like it so it's just that you built this model inside your head in your mind and if the world unfolds in a way that doesn't match it you get upset and so you

start to seeing that but see with the small stuff first you start seeing that because the light changed person driving This way or something didn't happen the way you wanted that's what you'll see that's what you'll see something happened can you see this a ball got hit at me in a way that I didn't want it to how you doing terrible a ball got hit at me in a way that I really really didn't want it to how you doing I can't handle it a ball get hit in a way that I'm really good at

I'm looking forward to I wish You' finally hit it that way how you doing Great you did that the ball didn't do that same ball hit to a different person or hit to you at a different day has a totally different reaction you did that I like okay you had a bad break up with a relationship and then you met somebody and they said something to you and you literally said I cannot handle that today I've had enough wow you could handle it yesterday sure but I can't are you hearing how real the rubber hits

the Road are we talking right there with the r his Road that's where your spiritual growth is you have to be willing to sit there and say at some point I need to work with this and then you'll see that the reason the reactions are the way they are is because the past experiences all right well I don't want my past bad experiences being brought into my everyday life to make a mess of me like things happened when I was young that were not comfortable I got embarrassed In school I didn't get the part I

wanted you know people laughed at me or whatever I was bullied when I was 6 years old well I I'm a 50 I do not want that to be running in my life they say that oh he's that way when he was young his parents did this he's not young anymore he's 45 years old you have to look and say no no no that's not who I am that was something I couldn't handle in the past is not happening anymore therefore it should Not be affecting my emotions and my thoughts but it is why because

you stored it in there now we got to the bottom line because you stored it in there no it was terrible it got scarred in me there is no such thing there's no rock in there there's nothing solid in there your body's solid physical things are solid that's not solid that's just pure energy in there the only thing solid in there is your will and you resisted the event therefore you created A force that fought the event therefore it left marks on the will I'm telling you you're writing a water until you freeze the water

everything comes in like everything else it passes through your psyche and moves on to pour into the ocean of your being that's called a pure experience isn't it be here now it just passes right through you become greater because you had the experience it fed your soul you do say that you say in front of a beautiful sunset that you Didn't expect to be you turn the corner oh my God but gent and or thinking it's a spiritual experience everything is a spiritual experience there's no difference between that Sunset and anything else in your entire

life I know you won't believe me and I went to the extremes reasonably okay in truth nothing but I'll give you the reasonably that's good enough for me all right they're all God experiences they blow your mind why because you let them in Because you didn't block them what if somebody just went through a situation where their girlfriend or boyfriend dumped them they went out for this beautiful sunset and it was so beautiful and their heart was wide open and all of a sudden the person turned and said oh this is a good opportunity for

me to talk to you about something I want to talk about it's over I found somebody else I just didn't tell you but it's a serious relationship and Goodbye now two weeks later when you turn the corner and see a sunset you get depressed do not you dare say it is the outside causing these things it is the dance between the outside and what you have done inside yourself and eventually you catch on that I am the only thing solid in here and if I resist an experience it leaves a mark not on my psyche

it leaves a mark on the place where the will hit that experience well what do I do about that let go now you Got my teachings you heard maybe You' heard me say let go once in a while you let go what does that mean you let go of resisting reality you let go of saying my past scarred me your past did not scar you you couldn't handle your past so you held it inside of you and that made a mess if everything ever bothers you stored inside of you you're going to be bothered so

your choice is either defend and protect yourself protect the junk you stored inside yourself so don't Get hit or decide one way or another I'm getting rid of this stuff when now as much as they can but not the big stuff don't take on the big stuff you hear me how do you know it's big stuff truth I used to teach this right you won't know that it happened you would just have reacted unconsciously and it just would have happened and swept you away that's wonderful that means you going through that experience okay but the

little stuff I want you to work with the little Stuff the low hanging fruit first can you handle this what if someone put a gun in your head and said can you handle walking outside for 30 ft when it's cold out yeah or if somebody offers you $7 million you walk across that street when it's cold out give you 7 million bucks okay let's go in other words you are capable of handling it you're telling yourself you're not capable but you know you're capable those I want you to work with that the only reason it's

bothering You is you said it did because your past experiences or whatever you built inside yourself and now I want to grow I don't want that to be inside of me I don't want to let that run my life I don't want the garbage that happened to me in the past that I couldn't handle run my life today or tomorrow how about you my option is relax through it and you just start saying I can and I that's us to say I can and I will he used to make them yell that out you on

make them yell Out I can and I will I can and I will whoa okay I can and I will do what handle walking across the street with his Co down handle the fact that the coach hit a back hand okay we learn to do it and let me tell you something once you learn to do the little ones all of a sudden something a little bit bigger happens and guess what because you played the scales you can play Twinkle Twinkle you couldn't play Twinkle Twinkle before as you learn it becomes Easier and easier to

apply the techniques that you learn to do the relaxation the Letting Go the positive affirmation use whatever you want and you will learn then when the bigger thing happens it will start to pass through until eventually I told you somebody once said to me I remember the first time they said it that I think that I've noticed what it means to grow I was at work and until I drove away leaving I realized something happened at Work they used to bother the heck out of me I didn't even notice that it happened I looked inside

said hello nothing happened it didn't react at all that's growth in other words I could handle it so much so that I didn't even notice it that's where I want you if you practice the little stuff and keep letting go it's important don't say it doesn't matter it does matter it doesn't matter if you feel guilty or ashamed or no it matters in your Evolution you're Evolving inside because you're more adaptable you can handle things so now something bigger happens now something bigger happens now in the midst of it things will happen in relationship work

something like that where you do have something to do I I so had a car accident if you sit there and say okay I can't hand side of blood all right relax I can handle it okay my eyes are closed I'm not dealing with it but I see I can handle it all now open your eyes H the Blood is still there you have a job to do it wasn't just an inner job there's an outer job but you can't do the outer job if you can't handle the inner job now you like talk about

relationships right some people have trouble in relationships they have trouble in relationships what time you first have a fight leave I can't handle it my parents used to fight I can't handle it I'm out of here well okay you're not doing very well at relationships are you so what You have to do is learn to handle it and you'll find out they okay people don't always get along perfectly but it can be an opening and you can learn to practice and so you let go sometimes you realize I let go and there's nothing to deal

with it because it was all me it was all my sensitivity and I was much too sensitive about the emotions and stuff like that it really didn't do anything it was me I don't have to say anything or sometimes you find out with okay I Have a problem like go M well they obviously they were problem in this area also they wouldn't have acted like that and it doesn't mean you to confront them right away you intelligently make a decision what's the best way to work with this not reaction not for you no no no

no what's the best way for me to deal with so it doesn't happen again no I've handled me now is there something I'm supposed to do to help the other person and everything you're doing is just What's best for the other person is that beautiful now you're good at relationships because you handle you all right then a bigger thing happen a bigger the happs and eventually I want you to come visit me with that you can handle anything no matter what it is not how unfair it is no how ridiculous it is if it happened

it's reality so you can handle reality doesn't mean you're not going to work with it you can be an activist people say to me well then no One's active yeah you could be very active but not because you can't handle it no if you can't handle and you're active you're the problem you're out there causing disturbance and trouble and nothing good will take place for that even if you force somebody or a group of people to be the way you want they don't really want to be that way they don't understand it and they're going

to come back it's called The Law of opposites R used to say that the Hippies create the police and the police create the hippies every's an opposite ends and they're causing each other to be that way they have to deal with each other you be the higher one you be Gandhi you be king you let go get clear now see is there something I can do I mean Gandhi changed the world I've been talking about him lately he changed an entire country that was under complete control of the the strongest Empire on the earth at

the time basically all Right they're one of the strongest ones and this one man sat there and said I can handle it handle what everything beat me on the head lock me in jail don't feed me and I'm not going to fight back but I'm going to keep moving forward and that act of AA that act of what he did literally they left that's pretty it's amazing but he was so high I mean maybe cry Gandhi that you know how he died but you don't know he was giving a public speech and somebody came up

and Shot him well that's terrible it happens Kennedy both Kennedy King it happens all right and he got shot what did he do you talk about you want to handle that did he handle that as he fell to the ground he ProMed to the murderer as an act of forgiveness literally his last Act was that wow he was pretty clear wasn't he right in other words he could handle anything couldn't he he handled it all the way up no disturbance just that's it you don't have to go there hopefully Nobody shoots you but the net

result is net result is we're going to stop now you have learned the technique wasn't about meditation it was it I didn't give you a mantra those are very good things though the technique is every moment of every day of your life are you willing to grow are you willing to say this is mine this is for me and let go to the best of your ability and sometimes you won't be able to and you'll fall down and you'll get back up it's fine right You hit the ball and a couple times you can do

backand one time he hits it you can't hit it so fine that means it was a good learning experience so on this path you're going to fall down it's going to happen if you're working at the edge you're going to fall down if you're not working at the edge you're not growing working at the edge means just doing the best you can with what do I have to go somewhere no life your life is perfect for your growth period why because it's What's hitting your stuff it didn't hit somebody else's stuff you stand right next

to each other everyone had a different reaction you need to be will to say okay it's mine it's mine and just relax your best of your ability relax your heart relax your shoulder relax everything just relax and breathe relax and breathe it's going to not go away immediately but I'm telling you your whole life will change whole life will change period as you do this and then You do as bigger things and then something's going to come up and your mind will say I can't handle this I can't handle this it's not right I can't

handle this who's the want to say maybe you can't but I can and relax and let go of the part that can't handle it and your heart will get ripped out and it will get painful sometime it'll be red hot white hot I went past red it's white hot it's just a core is so hot don't worry you won't get there right away Until you're ready and you just sit there and say no I want to go past this I want to see what's on the other side of my weakness of that problem and then

you'll go to the other side some point you the other side and all of a sudden all the Shu starts pouring up inside of you it never stops ever no matter what's going on it's just feeding you from inside up up through all the centers pouring you inside that's when real spiritual growth takes place why it's so Beautiful that you just rest back into it it calls you into it because it's so beautiful it's not will you never use will anymore the only will is to let go and eventually she brings you the Great Master

said all the river of Joy lifted me up and brought me back into the ocean of one that's the path isn't it but you tell me that's the path isn't it who's willing to grow who's willing to do their best that's all you can do all you can do is Your best period your best is perfect it's perfect nobody ask for anything more but you just relentlessly do your best Giger