my name is Elena I wake up early because there is a lot to do the alarm rings but I do not have time to stay in bed I get up fast I need to make breakfast my family is waiting I cook eggs and toast I make coffee I serve everything on the table my husband and children eat I also eat but I eat eat quickly there is no time to relax after breakfast I wash the dishes there are many plates and cups the sink is full I clean everything fast then I sweep the floor there
are crumbs everywhere I take the mop I mop the kitchen the floor is clean now but there is more work I go to the laundry room I take the dirty clothes I put them in the washing machine I add soap and press the button the machine starts while I wait I go to the living room the table is messy there are papers and books I put everything in the right place the washing machine stops I take the wet clothes and put them in the dryer then I go back to the kitchen kitchen the trash is
full I take the bag and go outside I throw the trash away I come back inside the phone rings it is my friend Anna she asks Elena do you want to go for a coffee I say I can't I have a lot to do she says you always have a lot to do I laugh a little but she is right I go to the bedrooms the beds are not made I pull the blankets I fix the pillows I clean the nightstands the house looks better now but my back hurts a little I ignore it there's
no time for rest I check the clock it is almost noon I need to cook lunch I go to the kitchen again I take the ingredients I cut vegetables I boil water the food is ready my family eats I clean the table more dishes more washing more cleaning after lunch I hear a noise it is the dryer the clothes are ready I take them out I fold the shirts I fold the pants I put everything in the closets the day is not over I have to do more the doorbell rings it is my neighbor Maria
she says Elena can you help me with something I look at the clock I have things to do but I say yes of course I go with her I help her carry some bags she thanks me I go back inside more work is way ing my head starts to hurt maybe I need water I drink a glass but the pain does not go away I look at my to-do list there are still many things I feel tired but I continue I must finish everything then my phone rings again it is Anna she says Elena are
you okay I say yes just busy she says you sound tired I smile and say maybe a little but the truth is I feel more than tired I feel exhausted the day is not over I still have many things to do I feel tired but I continue There is no time to stop my family needs clean clothes food and a clean house if I do not do do it who will I go to the kitchen the sink is full of dishes again I start washing them the water is warm the soap smells fresh but suddenly
my hands feel weak I almost drop a plate my heart beats fast I take a deep breath maybe I just need to sit for a moment but I cannot the floor needs cleaning I take the mop I start mopping the floor my arms feel heavy my head hurts I ignore it I finish mopping and go to the living room there are toys and shoes everywhere I pick them up my back starts to hurt but I do not stop I must keep going I check the time it is 3s p.m. I need to prepare dinner soon
but first I must do one more thing I take a basket full of clothes I need to put them in the closets I walk to the bedroom suddenly my legs feel weak the basket Falls from my hands clothes are on the floor I try to pick them up but my arms feel too heavy I sit on the bed my heart beats too fast the phone rings it is and anah again she says Elena are you okay I want to say yes but my voice sounds weak she says Elena you don't sound good I try to
stand up but my head spins I feel dizzy I sit back down the front door opens my husband comes home he sees me sitting on the bed he looks worried he says Elena what's wrong I shake my head I just need to rest for a minute he sits next to me you never rest he says I want to argue but I feel too tired then my son comes in mom can you help me with my homework I open my mouth to say yes but my head hurts too much I press my fingers to my temp
Les my husband looks at me Elena you are not okay I take a deep breath he is right I try to stand up again but my legs feel weak my husband holds my arm you need to see a doctor he says I shake my head no I just need to finish a few things he frowns no you need to to rest the room feels hot my heart is still beating fast my hands are cold I close my eyes for a moment my husband takes the phone I hear him talking doctor my wife is not feeling
well my stomach feels tight my mind is racing am I really that sick maybe it is nothing maybe it will pass or maybe it is something serious what will the doctor say my husband helps me stand up my legs feel weak but I try to walk my heart is still beating fast he takes the car keys we are going to the doctor he says I shake my head no I just need to rest he looks at me Elena this is not normal we are going now I do not have the energy to argue we get
in the car the air feels cold my hands are still shaking my head feels heavy my husband drives fast I close my eyes maybe if I sleep I will feel better but my chest feels tight I take a deep breath the car stops we at the clinic my husband helps me inside a nurse sees me are you okay she asks I try to speak but my throat feels dry my husband answers for me she feels weak her heart is beating fast she almost fainted the nurse nods come with me she takes me to a small
room lie down she says I do what she says she checks my pulse she looks at my face do you feel dizzy she asks I nod do you have pain I touch my head here the nurse writes something wait for the doctor I look at my husband he looks worried I want to tell him I am fine but I do not feel fine the door opens the doctor walks in he looks at the paper the nurse wrote he sits next to me Elena tell me what happened I take a deep breath I was working all
day cleaning cooking washing everything then I started to feel tired but I did not stop I had too much to do then my heart started beating fast F my hands were shaking I felt weak the doctor listens he nods how many hours do you sleep at night I think maybe five or six he write something do you take breaks during the day I shake my head no I don't have time the doctor looks at me Elena this is stress your body is tired you are pushing too hard I blink stress the doctor nods yes your
body is telling you to stop my husband crosses his arms I told you Helena I sigh but I have to do everything if I don't who will the doctor leans forward Elena if you don't rest your body will force you to stop your heart is working too hard your mind is tired if you continue like this it will get worse I bite my lip worse I never thought stress could make me feel this sick my hands are still shaking my heart is still fast I feel feel exhausted the doctor stands up you need to rest
you need to relax you need to ask for help my husband looks at me I can help the kids can help you are not alone Elena I close my eyes maybe they are right maybe I do need help can I really stop can I really change I said sit on the hospital bed my heart is still beating fast the doctor looks at me Elena you need to slow down you cannot do everything alone I hear his words but my mind is racing how can I stop there are too many things to do if I do
not do them who will my husband holds my hand Elena we will help you I shake my head but the house the food the laundry the doctor interrupts me Elena listen if you continue like this your body will shut down you will get sick you may not be able to move then what will happen I freeze sick unable to move that cannot happen I take a deep breath but I feel better now maybe it was just a bad day the doctor frowns no Elena this is not just one day your body has been warning you
for a long time today it forced you to stop I look at my husband he nods I see it now you always look tired you never sit down you never rest his voice is soft but I hear the worry in it the doctor stands up you need to change not tomorrow not next week now I swallow hard now how the doctor continues starting today you must take breaks you must ask for help you must sleep more if you don't you will be back here soon and next time it may be worse worse that word stays
in my mind I close my eyes my body feels heavy my arms my legs my head everything is tired maybe the doctor is right maybe my body really is forcing me to stop I hear a knock on the door it is my son he looks at me Mom are you okay I want to say yes but I feel tears in my eyes he walks closer mom I can help at home I can clean my room I can wash my own dishes I blink you can he nods yes my husband stands next to him Elena You
Are Not Alone we are a family families help each other a strange feeling grows inside me relief guilt I do not know I look at my son I look at my husband then I look at my own hands they are shaking my body is telling me something the doctor's voice is firm Elena do you want to feel like this again or do you want to change I take a deep breath my heart slows down a little my hands stop shaking speaking the answer is clear I look at my family my voice is small but strong
I want to change but can I really do it can I really let go I take a deep breath I want a change the doctor nods good then you must start today my husband Smiles we will help you Elena my son grabs my hand I will help too Mom I feel lighter maybe everything will be okay maybe I can rest maybe I can share the work then the doctor looks at me seriously Elena I want you to take one week to rest no cleaning no cooking no laundry I freeze one week he nods yes one
full week my heart starts beating fast again but that is impossible the doctor shakes his head no it is not your family will do it you need to trust them I turned to my husband can you really do it he smiles yes Elena I look at my son are you sure you can help he nods yes Mom the doctor crosses his arms you must promise Elena no housework no stress just rest I open my mouth to argue but then I stop I think about today my weak legs my shaking hands my fast heartbeat I do
not want to feel like that again I take a deep breath okay I promise my husband looks happy my son looks excited I feel nervous the doctor Smiles good now go home and relax we leave the clinic my husband drives my son talks about how he will wash the dishes Everything feels different at home I sit on the couch my husband brings me tea relax Elena we got this I watch them my son picks up his toys my husband sweeps the floor I feel proud but also strange then I hear a noise crash I jump
up what was that my husband runs to the kitchen my son stands there looking at the floor a plate is broken my son looks at me Mom I'm sorry I take a step forward it's okay I will clean it then I stop the doctor's words repeat in my mind no cleaning no stress just rest my husband picks up the pieces don't worry son we can fix this I watch them I want to help my hands feel empty my feet want to move but I don't I stay still my son looks at me Mom it's okay
we got this I sit back down my heart is slow my hands are calm for the first time in years I Let Go can I really trust them or will I take control again I sit on the couch my hands rest on my lap my heart feels slow my mind feels strange I am not moving I am not cleaning I am not cooking but the house is still Still Standing my son picks up the broken pieces of the plate my husband helps him the mess is gone the problem is solved and I did nothing I
take a deep breath maybe this can work the next morning I wake up late the sun is already up my body feels heavy but not in a bad way it feels calm I hear sounds in the kitchen plates cups voices I sit up my first thought is I need to make breakfast then I remember no housework no stress just rest I take a deep breath and stay in bed a few minutes later my husband enters the room he smiles good morning Elena breakfast is ready I blink ready he nods Yes we made pancakes I walked
to the kitchen my son is sitting at the table there's food real food pancakes eggs and Juice I sit down my husband puts a plate in front of me eat I take a bite it tastes good maybe not perfect maybe different but good after breakfast I stand up my first thought is wash the dishes then I see my son take his plate he puts it in the sink my husband starts washing I stop moving I watch them they are doing it without me I sit back down my heart is calm the day continues my son
cleans his room my husband does laundry I read a book A book I have not read in years but then in the afternoon I hear something the vacuum I jump up did they forget did they break it are they doing it wrong I walk fast to the living room my son is vacuuming my husband is dusting I open my mouth to say something but then my son turns he looks happy mom look I can do it I stop my hands are still my heart is steady I smile yes you can that night my husband sits
next to me how do you feel I think for a moment strange he laughs good good strange or bad strange I smile good strange he nods Elena we love you you don't have to do everything we are a team I look around the house is not perfect there is a toy on the floor a plate in the sink but it is okay for the first time in years I feel free maybe the house does not need to be perfect maybe maybe I just need to be happy I think about the past I was always running
always cleaning always working I thought I had to do everything I thought asking for help was weakness but I was wrong now I see the truth A House Is Not a Home because it is clean a home is a place where we feel safe where we feel happy where we feel loved I spent so many years trying to make everything perfect but I forgot something important I forgot myself now I choose balance I choose rest I choose to trust my family because life is not about washing dishes it is not about mopping floors it is
about laughing with my son talking with my husband [Music] enjoying small moments the house will never be perfect and that is okay because now I am finally free
