My Best Friend Is Telling Me That My Boyfriend Cheated With Her, But He Says....- Reddit Family

my best friend is telling me that my boyfriend cheated with her but he says that she's lying how do I get to the truth I've been best friends with Becca since 2010 we were College roommates and then after we graduated we still lived together until I moved in with my boyfriend Nate in 2019 one thing about Becca is that she's always had a drinking problem for as long as I've known her and she's done stuff while drunk that has sometimes caused problems in our friendship she does try to stay sober but every few years something

will happen to make her start drinking again which is what happened earlier this summer so last Saturday Becca called me because she was drunk somewhere and needed a ride home I couldn't go pick her up because I had the flu and I was on cold medicine so Nate went to get her instead a couple of days after that I started noticing that Nate was being weird with his phone normally he leaves it out on the coffee table if we're watching TV or whatever but he started putting it face down so I couldn't see what notifications

he was getting my first thought was that he was trying to plan a surprise and because of the timing I thought that maybe Becca was helping him yesterday I saw Becca I told her that Nate was being sneaky all of a sudden and asked her if he said anything about maybe proposing soon she asked me if I looked through his phone and I said no Becca started crying and told me that she and Nate hooked up in his car the night that he came to pick her up her excuse was that she was really drunk

and didn't fully know what she was doing she said she'd been texting him since telling him that he needed to tell me what happened or else she was going to I asked Becca to show me the texts but they were all in the app signal which deletes messages after a day so all I could see was that she and Nate had a chat thread but nothing that they said I told her to text Nate in front of me so I could see what he said and she did but we got no read receipt and so

no response at all so it didn't prove anything I asked Becca if she was sure she wasn't so drunk that she maybe imagined it or thought a dream was real and she absolutely lost her on me and said that she knows that she's horrible when she drinks but that she's not delusional and she doesn't make up she said that I could believe her or not and it's my choice but she was telling me the truth I said I needed to go home and talk to Nate so when I got home I confronted Nate with what

Becca had said and he acted shocked and denied that anything like that had happened at all and said he didn't know why she'd think so or say so he said that he had just given Becca a ride home and the only thing that happened was that they talked about how he and I had been together for a long time and how we should get married already he admitted they were talking on Signal the next couple of days but he said that it was about exactly what I thought that he was asking her about engagement rings

and what kind of proposal I would want Nate replied to Becca's message from before asking her if she made up a story about them looking up to not ruin the surprise about his proposal and she texted him back that there was no proposal and to stop playing dumb so then Nate called her pretending like I wasn't in the room and told her that she needed to stop whatever she was trying to do because we were on the verge of breaking up and he'd rather just have the surprise be ruined but Becca just kept telling Nate

to stop lying until he got angry and hung up on her I really didn't know what to think and I still don't right now Nate is really upset and not really talking to me much he says that it's bad enough that Becca acted insane and ruined his plan to propose but it's even worse that I believed her lies even a little and would think that he would ever cheat on me Becca texted me saying she was sorry but otherwise I haven't talked to her either I don't want to think that Nate would cheat on me

or that he'd take advantage of Becca if she was that drunk but I feel like I can't be 100% sure because I've known Becca for 13 years and I also just can't believe that she'd lie to me about something this important and I know that she does have a drinking problem so I can believe that she'd sleep with my boyfriend if she was drunk out of her head she's done some pretty awful things in the past when she's been drunk I don't want to wrongly accuse Nate of something he didn't do but I don't want

to be an idiot relevant comments signal doesn't automatically delete messages unless you turn that feature on would he have it's not the automatic default but if Nate created the chat with Becca and set it for messages to disappear after 24 hours then all of her messages with him will do that without input from her someone asks what op wants help with sleuthing ideas who is more believable Revenge Etc I think what I initially wanted was just a sounding board for who sounded more believable but someone gave me the tip that you actually can recover messages

from signal so when I have a chance later tonight I'm going to try to do that to see if I can get some actual proof of what happened but so far I haven't talked to anyone else about this though I really just don't want to spread around what did didn't happen to the rest of my friends or family without actually knowing for sure what else has Becca done to you while drunk so in the past when she's been drunk Becca's blacked out and started fights with me or other people she'll say really out ofline insulting

things she's kicked people out of our apartment because she didn't remember inviting them in She's accused me of stealing clothes from her because I was wearing an outfit that looked like something that she also owned that kind of thing she's never hooked up with anyone that I was dating but she's definitely hooked up with guys that she knew I was interested in who has the greater motivation to lie here Nate or Becca Becca did have a big problem with Nate when we first got together and she was really really upset when I moved out of

our apartment to move in with him I could see her still being angry about it or still not liking him but just not saying anything from what Nate said they weren't making the plans on Saturday but Becca brought up that it's been 7 years and asked why we're not married yet and then the day after he asked her about Rings what is her reason for not liking him so at the time she was in one of her longest stretches of being sober and she said that I was abandoning her for some guy when she needed

my support the most and then when I moved out she tried to make it out like she wouldn't be able to stay sober without me living with her and Nate basically had to step in and point out that she couldn't stay sober anyway so to stop guilting me it's possible she blames you for her current drinking and Nate saying he wants to propose triggered her anger for some reason everything you say here makes sense to me Becca has said stuff like this in the past not specifically about Nate but sometimes when she starts drinking again

she acts like it's unfair that I'm not getting dragged down with her or doing more to help her and I think on some level she might still think it's his fault that I moved out and don't keep as close an eye on her as I did back when we lived together I don't know if she'd really go as far as to lie about something like this just for that reason I really hoped she wouldn't but I could completely believe that she feels like this update one so on Thursday night after I got everyone's advice I

told Nate that I had found out a way to recover deleted messages from signal he immediately took out his phone and opened the app and asked me to show him how to do it so I already thought that must mean he was telling me the truth because he didn't Panic or hesitate at all which was good because when I tried to download signal on my old phone it turned out that it's too old to support the current version of the app so it wouldn't work Nate then asked me if we were going to have to

go out and buy a new phone for me to believe that he was telling me the truth and he said that he was willing to do it if that's what it would take I told Nate it wasn't that I didn't believe him I just wanted to have some proof because I just couldn't understand why Becca would lie about it Nate said that she would lie about it because she's a crazy Drunk and there's literally no way for a non-crazy person to understand why she would do anything and once the messages proved that he didn't ever

want me talking to her again then he said to get up because if we were going to go to the Verizon store we had to get there before it closed by then I completely believed Nate anyway so I told him we didn't have to go anywhere or get a new phone and that I believed him and I knew he didn't cheat on me and that he would never do that Nate said that he would hope I know that and that he didn't understand why I didn't take his word for it in the first place I

started trying to explain why I didn't want to just immediately dismiss what Becca had said happened but Nate said that he really couldn't listen to that right now I said that was fair and agreed that I would cut Becca off but that first I wanted to try to get her to admit that nothing happened Nate said fine but to call her with my phone on speaker because he thought he also deserved to hear her admit that she was lying so I called Becca and I said the same thing to her that I said to Nate

that I figured out how to recover deleted messages on Signal she asked me why I would need to do that so that was when I knew for sure that she was definitely making it up and not just confused somehow I said it was because I wanted to have proof of what she and Nate talked about Becca asked me if I saw their messages so I lied and said yes after that Becca just went silent until finally I asked her if she was going to say anything then she asked me if that meant that we were

engaged now so then I really just lost it on her and screamed at her asking her if she was serious and what the was wrong with her and how could that possibly be all that she had to say Becca started screaming back telling me to calm down and about how obviously I never believed her anyway because it's not like we broke up over it I was crying by that point and because of that I couldn't really say anything else so then Nate told Becca to go herself and to never ever contact either one of us

ever again and hung up on her a minute later Becca sent me a completely unhinged text that I'm quoting here verbatim apart from change names Courtney you're supposed to be my friend for life you're supposed to be there for me you are supposed to be my person but then you meet Nate and now you only care about Nate everything is about Nate tell me why Nate comes to pick me up when I call you I called you not your precious Nate I only want you to see how up this is but do you no of

course you don't of course you choose Nate over me like you always do and like you always will you pretend to care about me but I can see you don't care it is pathetic Courtney you are a pathetic woman who would choose a man over a friend but since you can't say it yourself I will since you have to have your sweet perfect little baby Nate do it for you I will goodbye Courtney is that what you want goodbye forever I hope you got what you want there were the three dots after that showing she

was still typing more but I blocked her before she sent it I don't care about anything else that she has to say I'm sure it's all just going to be more about why this is my fault or justifications about why what she did wasn't that bad and I should forgive her I know Nate is probably right and there's no non-crazy logic behind why Becca would stoop to doing something like this but obviously I've still been thinking about it and my best guess is that whoever said that Becca still blames me and Nate apparently mostly Nate

for her being a drunk mess who can't get her life together is right it seems like she somehow thought that if she said she hooked up with Nate I'd break up with him but still want to be friends with her and then everything would magically be fixed as far as stuff with Nate I asked him if he thought he could ever forgive me for doubting him and he said that since I came to my senses and I cut Becca off he guesses we can try to put it behind us I don't think he's still going

to propose anytime soon after this I probably wouldn't if I was him and from what Nate said he didn't actually do any planning yet other than asking Becca about rings and if I'd think a public proposal was tacky or not all he was doing so far was trying to get ideas without me knowing he was talking to her about it so just based on that I think probably it's not going to happen for a while if it still does at all also thanks to everyone for the advice and support I know I didn't respond to

many comments but I really did appreciate everyone who cared enough to want to help relevant comments commenter I'm curious if Becca ever said anything to you when she hooked up with guys you liked do you think she was blocking you in purpose to keep you for herself did she try anything with Nate before you were exclusive or was she just drunk and looking for hookups op I don't think she put enough thought into those hookups to be malicious like that she was just inconsiderate and would go after whoever commenter did you ever confront her or

just let it go more than one time seems like a pattern op we definitely got into arguments about it at the time but it was mostly just kind of college and not really an actual confrontation about why she kept doing it I guess one last thought from op I'm sure she won't just go away I'm already expecting her to try to get our other friends to get in the middle of everything as soon as she figures out she's actually blocked and I'm not just ignoring her I hope she won't try to do anything else but

I guess at this point I really can't know with her I'm hoping things are okay with Nate I think in a while they will be update two I haven't logged into this account for about a year but I got a few messages asking for an update so here it is I'll keep it as short as I can unfortunately I have nothing good to report it turned out that whatever was going on with Becca that caused her to make false accusations about Nate was the beginning of some kind of a psychotic break break after I blocked

her she made a whole bunch of fake accounts and started sending me completely unhinged about how I ruined her life and threatened to get revenge on me and Nate this went on for literally months with her sending me dozens of messages a day I found out from other friends that she was making multiple posts on Facebook every day that were semicoherent rants about how much she hated me and how I was evil and ruined her life intentionally I tried to talk to the police two different times to get a restraining order because I was afraid

that Becca was going to show up at our apartment and attack me or Nate I literally even got a front door camera because I was so scared that she was going to hurt us the police said that because Becca wasn't threatening actual violence she was just a nuisance and they couldn't do anything they acted like I was an idiot because it isn't illegal to talk on Facebook and they basically told me to just keep blocking her whenever she made a new account and eventually she'd get bored and move on then finally there was an incident

where someone broke the windshield of Nate's car while he was parked at his work I guess it could have just been a random act of vandalism because his wasn't the only car that got Windows Broken But at the time I was 100% sure it was Becca so I went to the police again eventually an officer went to talk to Becca and she said she didn't touch Nate's car and again I have no proof that she did but after the police talked to her Becca got put into a psych ward for a week because apparently her

apartment was filthy and she was drunk out of her mind 247 in a danger to herself I have not heard anything from Becca after she left the psych ward I don't know if she was diagnosed with something or if she's medicated now or what I found out that she moved in with her dad who thank God lives in a different state I look at her social media every so often to make sure she's not posting about me again and that she's nowhere around me I haven't mentioned Nate much in this update because we're no longer

together he broke up with me after the windshield incident because he couldn't handle being constantly harassed by Becca and to be honest I don't think he ever forgive me for not taking his side immediately when everything started it really hurt but I can't blame him I tried to talk to him about fixing things between us after Becca was gone but he just wasn't interested thank you for watching if you haven't subscribed yet please do so and hit the notification Bell to stay updated with more shocking real life stories happening around you