My Brother-In-Law Peed On My Belongings For Months. Discovering A Horrifying....- Reddit Family

My brother-in-law peed on my belongings for months discovering a horrifying family history of abuse destroyed my marriage for months my brother-in-law left me pee on my stuff finding out why revealed a terrible family background that shattered my marriage for 10 years Ted 34m my spouse and I 29f had been together we dated all through and got early in college I completed before him and spent a semester traveling while he Was finishing so we might relocate to another state he ended up needing to repeat several class es hence when I returned we couldn't relocate yet since

I had nowhere of my own I moved in with Ted and his roommate Ash 32m as he was still in school I made sure Ted approved it with Ash before we moved so my male cat could accompany us their dog was elderly but Ash claimed he was good with it about 3 weeks after we moved in I began to notice that our bedroom smelled Strongly of urine and we were unable to locate its source I knew it wasn't my cat since she is toilet trained the dog couldn't enter our room since it is on the

Second Story and he suffers hip issues I began to find clothing on the floor smelling like urine when I asked Ted he said he knew nothing I questioned Ash if he was bringing the dog upstairs after 3 months of annoyance and this occurring around twice a week no he replied I had had enough at this time I Stopped leaving garments anywhere but I was still discovering pee and stuff like throw pillows shoes and so forth after breaking down one day Ash proposed it was my cat claiming his territory as male cat cats are notorious for

doing since it was simply on my belongings and a new location he felt it made sense if any of you own cats you're aware that their pee smells different from Human pee I put up a webcam in our room since I trust my cat completely my boyfriend Knew about my rent payment therefore I reasoned this was the best method to find out where the pee was coming from Ash was indeed walking into our room and pissing on my belongings after seeing the movie I packed my belongings and my cat and stayed with a friend until

Ted graduated and we moved Ted and I handled that hence when all of this was happening I avoided facing him not really spoken to Ash since then though we usually avoid each other at family Events he was the best man at the wedding Ash lost his job and housing with the epidemic and is quite broke he wanted to move in with us but I really don't want to since he left urine on my belongings when it happened he was a grown man 25 years old their entire family is now calling and texting telling me I'm

an ass for leaving him homeless in the middle of an epidemic still it wasn't their belongings that were left P Stained on although he is Losing his house and his cat deserves a home I am harboring resentment since he left urine on my belongings I cannot simply grab his pet and abandon him to the elements it was made rather abundantly apparent although I know I'm Justified Ted claims he couldn't do that to his brother and the employment situation is better here for his kind of work first edit number one I appreciate all of you spending

time to consider my present situation I had to stop Responding from for a bit as I'm at work right now but I'll get back to everyone in the morning a few of questions have surfaced several times he is in therapy after Ted's mother made him go he was last I checked that's how we learned the reason he did this our best friends were Ash and Ted me entering Ted's life threatened enough to for him to want to separate us clearly it failed and it only caused Ted to go no contact temporarily according to his therapist

Ash owed his brother apologies my mother-in-law the person who got them back in t said Ash asked for pardon for his deeds I could deal with it as long as I didn't have to be with him and he never set foot in our house they reunited why did he show up for the wedding the celebration for our parents predominated when we were getting married although my parents planned a large wedding as I'm the first of my sisters to be married we were not Bothered about the courthouse we could not exclude Ted since all of his

brothers and all of my sisters were bridesmaids and groomsmen after all Ted and Ash are best friends I didn't care as long as I didn't have to snap selfies with him and he didn't deliver a speech why cannot any of his family accompany him while the rest of the family resides on the west coast we live on the east coast after several comments I'm beginning to question this next section But I'll say it nonetheless as that's the facts I know Ted's career is far more employable on the East Coast than on the west thus going

across would reduce his prospects of getting a new work in his sector I am working to persuade every brother there are eight more to contribute in a small amount so between us all he can stay there why would they find me to be an ass his entire family forgives and lets go quite naturally things that are horrible to me Car theft false college degrees money theft have been pardoned by them they so truly believe that this was only a one-time occurrence and that has outgrown it I simply need to get over it apologized he asked

I find it somewhat sour that he apologized to Ted but not to me though you guys are right it would be self-serving of him and a means of getting back into my house and maybe causing fur problems I was thinking of accepting an apology paid for the items He left behind I just kept washing the urine stained items as I had no idea where the pee was coming from following the video I did toss anything I recall having been urinated on that which had no emotional worth still there are two pairs of damaged shoes in

my house right now he did not pay for the items I tossed and to be honest I never considered asking him should I merely cut my losses on this what is your husband's stance Ted is the greatest Human being in the universe he really tolerates enough of my pranks to let Ash move in if it would make him happy Ted was agitated and cut off totally as soon as things started they made up though as his mother mentioned the therapist thought it would enable him to atone Ted has never once urged me to be with

Ash or for him to visit our house Ted assured me it was very fine if I turned Ash down as the best man when we got married still I love him enough to Handle him when it's called for such around Christmas and major family gatherings are the videos visible to me me though I regret to let you down no though I'm annoyed as I could be at the man I do respect privacy I honestly wouldn't believe me if he told me one of my sisters was peeing on his belongings hence when it happened I just

gave it to Ted so he would believe me to the best my knowledge he has only given it to two of the Elder brothers and his parents to Prove we were not fabricating things curious as I am I would want to thank you for your medals they are beautiful and shiny and make me feel as though I recently came out Victorious from the Olympics you FKS are the finest I also want to thank you for the really great nicknames and jokes I will be leaving him a litter box and puppy training pads in the guest

room just to rub his nose in should I lose this fight and he relocate here you people are the best I Swear to reply to messages and comments as soon as I can edit number two mini update P has thus hit the fan in the family and my day has been terrible the family lacked the complete picture some of the other brothers saw this post in all of your comments not apparent ly did our brothers either I'm way over my head hence numbers three four and eight are on their way here to handle it the

message is saying me I most likely had it coming that I wanted it or that I Deserved it deserve a big F you I wish the pman pays you a visit and stains your toothbrush I appreciate your wonderful comments and worry I appreciate the reality check references I appreciate you waking me to my several flaws though things suck right now hopefully in a few days I will be able to provide you guys closure or at least additional responses remain hydrated update one as you all advised I showed Ted the post Ted realized he had done

Wrong by me after reading some comments though I was cool with it it was still improper of him and the entire family to be as they are when the whole event happened he sincerely apologized for not asking more from his brother family and self Ash moving in with us was certainly not going to happen he stated he also inquired of various professional acquaintances whether Ash could get work as an engineer one of those contacts turned out to be someone employed by the Same company Ash did he informed Ted Ash hadn't been sacked he had quit

but was welcome to have his job returned Ted went to face Ash about this we reside some many hours apart it brings me joy not because my husband is lacking in any kind Ted found some stuff that started a chain of events and truth unveilings that to be honest just make me sad more than anything else while I was at work I worked two jobs one part-time during the day because I wanted to yes yes I really Realize I'm being cowardly once more and should be furious but right now I'm exhausted and want to sleep

but I believed I owed you guys closure since I had enough Pleasant and nasty notes though right now I don't care I'm most likely going to get trash for revealing all of this this is a resumed but still somewhat long rendition of all that has occurred since my op b stands for brother of Ted If I say wife #x please refer to the number of the brother not That any of them have multiple wives B number one Dr with some type of military background wife three kids B number two surgeon wife two dogs and a

bearded dragon B number three engineer fiance and dog B number four teacher and researcher wife one kid B number five works in it not sure of details wife B number six doctor single and ready to mingle B number seven Chef businessman wife one kid B number eight Car Sales wife three kids fish B number n Ted wife And Cat B number 10 Ash I went down with Ted to discuss all you highlighted he really apologies we vowed to do and be better and we sobb together his family is difficult as you now well know and

not rocking the boat became second nature to him we both agreed to attend individual therapy should both therapists recommend coupl therapy we will also undergo couples therapy to somewhat brighten me he ordered a t-shirt bearing the most okayest human In the universe Ted called his contacts anyhow and discovered Ash hadn't quit Furious about all the fuss this is generating he goes to face him he behaves in his place Ash is absent Ted goes in anyhow and waits since he carries an emergency key eventually he has to use the guest bathroom but it is locked so

he enters his room and discovers a situation this was the word he used to describe it he told me to remain home called me and claimed he Would be home later since he had to engage his family and wanted not to subject me to more than he already had which had me thinking the worst I was terrified at that moment and implored him to come back soon and be careful about 2 hours later wife number eight calls me sobbing to check on me I say Ted told me briefly about the circumstances I haven't heard since

I asked her whether I wanted to know which I did and she Begins by apologizing and Then says they didn't know the complete story after reading my post B number five called B number 7 to voice disapproval of me Distributing the story online apparently he knew it was our family since having your stuff pee on isn't common enough B number seven then states there are several things about my account of events that sound off to him by now they've all read it he calls B number two who calls their mother I did miss calls from

B number 6 and B number Two as I was working still as many of you suspected Ash's tail had a flimsy therapist component it turns out that the therapist he had been visiting was a buddy of his with zero genuine expertise and merely claimed to be his therapist so his mother would be off his back about it for approximately 3 years he pretended to be attending therapy which his mother paid for when my mil discovered it she kept it under wraps and claimed to have forgiven other Brothers For Worse all of this came to light

when B number two questioned her about Ash's refusal to apologize to me they were under the mistaken notion that he had apologized and I had forgiven him because I have a history of being a doormat and he was best man which is why they were pressuring him to live with us they also had no idea the territorial dispute had been ongoing for months they were aware of a few incidents but not as many as there were back to wife number Number eight she informs me that b numbers three four and eight are on their way

because Ted requested assistance which frightened me out she tells me to talk to wife number one because she needs some help I hang up and Ted has been calling me while I was on the phone he continued claiming he was sorry and that his brothers would take care of everything so I simply told him to spit it out that I had just spoken with wife number eight and didn't Have the patience to be kept in the dark apparently Ash has some mental issues and despises me he photographed me on his bathroom wall which was smeared

in p and possibly other human fluids he appears to have had some of B number one's daughter F14 I'm honestly not sure what she did to him to deserve this Ted disgusted and outraged walks into his bedroom and discovers photo books on his nightstand that were meant to be at his parents house you can guess which Photographs were cut out and scratched off all of the comments about manic behavior were more realistic than I would have wanted and he dropped out of disgust when he saw our yellow stained wedding photo he goes to get it

and disc covers the cat under the bed scared and starving when he coaxed her out she was still covered in dried pea and other bodily fluids at this point B number six phones him because I did not answer Ted tells him what he discovered that Ash is Not home and that he had to take the cat to the clinic B number six orders him to stay there till they figure out where Ash is they begin calling each other B number one is furious threatening to murder him because of his daughter which is why he didn't

attend now that all of the brothers are aware that there are a variety of emotions running High ranging from wrath to concern they do not know where Ash is Ted phones his mother to scold her for lying covering up and Reconciling them despite the fact that she had no idea he was lying about the therapy when they were reunited she cried and stated she knew B numbers 1 through eight had plagued Ash when he was a child and she had done nothing about it failing as a parent she claimed she was attempting to make amends

by protecting him when we got married my mother-in-law was quite strict with Ash and I assumed she was being protected later Ted informed me that he recalled His mother questioning if it was a good idea to have him as best man which we both overlooked as weird she had always urged Ted to be involved in Ash's life as she explained to him after their fight claiming that the more present Ted was in his life the more stable he was she stated that she never told him since she did not want to put him under such

pressure Ted claimed that by the time she knew he was lying he appeared to be in good health and had overcome his Problems after hanging up with his mother he contacted me to apologize and tell everything I called out of my other job because I cannot go to work like this I have a lot to think about but I will keep you updated I called Ted and informed him I was on my way since someone needed to care for the cat he stated he didn't want me to see any of that but I'm really worried

about the cat at this point I am just numb and want to feel helpful about an hour into The drive I received a notice from our ring doorbell which logs visitors to your door and it was a delivery of sunflowers Ted's favorite flower he is quite confident in his manhood so so please do not turn this into a thing I instructed the delivery person to read me the card with this form of doorbell you can communicate with the person at the door and Ash said something along the lines of op did me dirty by sharing

our difficulties publicly whatever Results from that will be her responsibility I've just broken down I had to pull over and cry my heart out I asked my neighbor to please take the flowers and throw them out I emailed Ted a picture and then drove back to my sister's house because I honestly don't know what to do I am so bewildered and everything is so twisted up I had a large family before all of this happened and I feel like I lost a lot of individuals I cared about and thought of His family but even in

my protected world I can't see or Justify what's going on right now I do not want to lose my husband and I'm concerned about the cat I'm afraid Ashton will hurt himself or my spouse I phoned wife number one and she is quite concerned for her daughter I don't want her to feel terrified but I can't sooe her since I'm also scared I cognitively understand that none of this is my responsibility but I am the link between everything That has happened and I simply don't know what to do I'm okay or as fine as anyone

can be in this situation Ted is with me at my parents house he brought me my cat because having a cat on your lap makes life less miserable where should I start you'll probably have a thousand questions by now and I'm not sure how to answer them because I've just been waiting to upload everything maybe I won't post it at all and leave you all guessing I will admit that this Scenario and some of the comments I've received have caused me to lose some trust in humanity but I suppose that's part of what makes us

human you want to know what the worst aspect of all this is I have actual PTSD and I no longer phrase it in a weird way every time I hear someone pee as in pee hitting the water I get a feeling of dread in my chest and the World Turns a little staticky going to the bathroom on my own has been quite an adventure I had my First therapy appointment however we fortunately and tragically live in a world where you can just throw money and make anything happen thank thank you Daddy for paying for the

Emergency shrink that was an update on how I'm doing as some of you have asked but I'll get to the point and why you're all here what happened to Ash following the flower delivery I couldn't take it any longer and went back to my sisters Ted quickly exited and approached me B Number six coordinates everything else he is my favorite brother-in-law and I don't care whether the others know most of them have been rubbish to me at some point or another with number 10 certainly taking the cake I haven't got the courage to inquire as

to what will happen to Ashley I believe he needs assistance Above All Else B number one plainly disagrees and I'm guessing he's attempting to get the police involved because his daughter is underage I Requested Ted to see the photos B number two advised me to document everything which I believed would be useful it didn't it merely sparked additional questions but hey I have a therapist who can help me work through them right now I don't have anything further to say I apologize for wasting your time but I am sure this isn't done and I will

have more to say maybe later maybe tomorrow they found Ash B numbers three 4 and 8 showed up to his house and he was Present this time apparently he had not seen Ted's presence and was unaware of the impending storm punches were thrown yelling more punches and one trip to the ER later Ash is now in a psychiatric hold being evaluated for a variety of issues Ted's mother continues to try to contact him I'm not sure if it's to apologize or to question about what going on because in general everyone is upset with her but

I'm over her I believe this is the hardest reality Check a person could ever have yet I have learned a great deal about people trust and families based on the facts we have Ted's mother appears to have been correct Ted's lack of active involvement in his brother's life is what caused this craziness I guess the epidemic and our distance contributed to his demise he'll have to deal with it using whatever coping mechanisms they Supply him because Ted has shut off almost half of his family hopefully for good this Time because neither of us is going

to get over this anytime soon Ash's cat regrettably did not make it that's something I'll always feel sorry about she acquired a renal ailment that went undiagnosed during the last year and it was too late to save her while she was being abused and neglected the vet stated that based on what he was hearing because they were calling the police on B number four for animal abuse and he had to explain some of the situation she Was not going to survive without suffering so he chose to put her down apparently the issue with B number

one's daughter stemmed from his harsh bullying when they were younger he never had much touch with her it was all about retaliating in the most effective way he knew his daughter will undergo treatment just in case I'm not sure what or how much they told her but I believe they had to ask her questions about her interactions with Ash and they would Have had to explain why they were asking that's about it I am not leaving my husband I am not peeing on anyone's property I'm going to therapy and I've made it clear to everyone

that none of them will ever live with us for any reason I don't mind if the pope is with them I just feel like I've lost that caring part of myself and overall I still haven't received that apology but to be honest I don't want it perhaps my therapist will persuade me otherwise or Maybe it's for the best but for now I guess I'll just live with it as best I can update 2 the sequel hello everyone I just wanted to thank you for the amazing amount of love and support I've received from internet strangers

all of the lovely notes and overall for your care for me and my family I will start responding to messages soon I promise it's just been a difficult few of days my therapist suggested writing to help me organize my feelings and understand What happened and since some of you have expressed interest I suppose this is as good a diary as any I believed a post update might be a little easier to read for those who want to know what happened next in the pman drama it's been nearly two weeks since I first opened the Pandora's

box that is my husband's family and you all know what happened I will be eternally grateful to Reddit and all of you for pointing out that there were issues that needed to be addressed And investigated even if it did wind up turning my life into a peow I'm not sure how the Twitter users ended up here but I'd want to thank you everyone for your support many people ask the same questions so here are the responses my husband and brothers-in-law except for number six I don't think I'm capable of dealing with any of them right

now he has always been my favorite and in general we should have accepted his advice and isolated ourselves from The family he has genuinely been the most supportive and a etic throughout the ordeal I did speak with number one and his wife to offer my assistance in any manner I could but they graciously rejected saying I had done enough I'm not sure if they meant it backhandedly or honestly but I'm still keeping a distance from them all the majority of the other brothers apologized for everything some accepted responsibility for their roles in this messed up

Circumstance While others acknowledged their previous transgressions I believe this entire family will be financing the psychology industry for the foreseeable future I did oos that everyone seek treatment because while I initiated it this is something that affects the entire family my mother-in-law some compassionate redditors pointed out that she had probably been manipulated and or abused her entire life which I don't refute or agree with but I do know that She had a complicated existence we will not communicate with her again till the end of time after she called to chastise us for separating her family

her statements went something like this I've worked for years to get all of you together I have forgiven all each of you you has ever done speaking with my husband and this is how you repay me allowing a small Ying to come in the way of our family so there's that Ted my husband is managing everything as well As he can he is also in treatment working through his emotions he keeps apologizing and I believe seeing what his closest friend did to me because of him will bother him for a while we read all of

your comments together and while he appreciated his atonement he doesn't believe he earned it he believes he has years to make up for he also informed me that he understood if I wanted to divorce him because he couldn't live knowing what his family had done to his Wife I gently rejected because I still love him and understand that this is not his fault we'll see how therapy works for him where is Ash now he is still on psychiatric hold he did ask to see Ted which was a massive no no and Ted declined he did

send him a letter however I have no idea what it says and I don't want to know but Ted assured me that I'd never have to see him again when it is deemed safe he will be relocated to the West Coast where the Rest of his family can cope with him we have washed our hands of him forever number three has been in charge of his care and he believes that relocating him far away from us is best for everyone Ted and him have been discussing the doctor's reports but I haven't wanted to inquire which

is fine many of you advise that we take a break I resigned one of my jobs and have been working at my father's beach condo Ted is using part of his vacation time and his boss has Been extremely accommodating it's the middle of Jan January so it's not really Pleasant outside but looking at the water is relaxing and being away from all of the chaos is good I got a new phone so his family couldn't reach me anymore and it's been great just the three of us the cat follows me around for a few days

future actions I received a protective order in the meantime I'm not sure what safeguards number one is taking for his daughter I do know he Made her stop using social media if future legal action is to be taken it must come from them we are also locating I'm not sure where to go but neither of us feels like we're home anymore we'll start looking for houses closer to my family in the coming weeks what's behind door number two sorry to disappoint you but there were no human body parts or meat hooks in the closed restroom

there was more of what was discovered in the master bathro I don't believe he's a Serial killer in the making just profoundly psychologically Disturbed with bad coping methods and emotional relationships but I'm not a professional and can't help him I believe one redditor made a very solid Point regarding him hating women or seeing us as inferior as he only did his thing with women me my niece and sunny his cat but again I am not a professional so I cannot comment further how am I doing certain days have been better than Others I've been to

therapy every other day thank you to the redditors who suggested going to the restroom with headphones or a white noise machine it was quite helpful my sisters are taking turns visiting so we'll have someone with us for a couple of hours in case we need anything the backstory many people inquired about the bullying he experienced as a child to rationalize this type of catastrophe so here is Ted's response to that growing up with Eight Elder Brothers makes you extremely open to criticism comparisons and expectations our brothers had many years when it was just them and

when the chance came to take it out on someone else he was the most vulnerable I'm not attempting to condone or defend anyone's Behavior but there were some things that even I couldn't keep him safe from now that I'm an adult I can understand how messed up they were and I'm sure my brothers can as well we've all been Fighting demons our entire lives we did not have a supporting family everything was swept under the rug instead of being addressed that caused us to grow up alienated from reality what is appropriate and what is healthy

some of us have learned more through our marriages occupations and life experience we all still have a lot to learn but we can't undo the past all we can do is admit our mistakes and shortcomings and strive to be better Tomorrow miscellaneous a few random items that came up why didn't anyone check on the cat we had no reason to Sunny the cat was not extremely gregarious so when they video calleded during quarantine it made sense not to see her we did not go visit anyone during the pandemic so we had no idea how things

were going to be before the epidemic he was fine as was his house and Cat I'm not sure how we were expected to know any of this was Happening or how we could have stopped it I'm sorry I let an innocent cat down and I'll be forever guilty for not being able to help her what are the chances of having 10 boys three of whom can quit everything and move to the other side of the country there weren't always 10 boys regarding their dropping everything to come I'm not sure what answer you want that they

recognized how chaotic the situation was that their spouses could function Without them for a few days that they could take a day off from work and come that their sibling requested for help and they were able to assist I honestly don't know what you expect from me with such questions why didn't you see it coming there have to be signs you would have to ask their family as you're aware that I am not on good terms with them at the moment Ted maintains he didn't observe anything but his perception may have been skewed due to

their proximity And he may have been unaware of it or assumed it was usual so that's where my life is right now I'm exhausted and depressed and things are still bad but I have something to look forward to a really wonderful therapist who keeps reassuring me that I'm well and secure and is teaching me how to be normal again sorry for the lengthy update please know that I appreciate all of your compassion and taking the time to read about my Foles I wish you all the Best and know you'll always have a buddy here when

I'm ready to go back out into the world I'd like to have more kind people in my life including Ellie Ted and tortilla the cat edit I apologize for not being more clear about the 10 Brothers thing apparently I may have caused some confusion I intended to add that there weren't always 10 Sons it is neither my families or my tale to share according to what I know they had three sisters two of them died died when they Were young due to health concerns this explains why there is a gap between 1 and 8 followed

by Ted and Ash the other one is slightly more complex she used to rank between fourth and fifth yes I am aware that they had a large number of children nonetheless they continue to reject contraception sorry about the confusion update three Tokyo Drift hello everyone it's been almost 2 months since the disaster began and I've just received several letters and comments Requesting an update as his customary the majority of them were pleasant and beautiful there are of course exceptions but at this stage in my life I'm used to them and believe they're just part of

online culture first and foremost I apologize for the delayed update I know a lot of people are curious about what's happened to Ted's family but I simply wanted some time to comprehend everything but here I am telling you yet another sad part of this story so you Can all be at rest I'd also want to greet the Facebook Community I appreciate folks telling me where they're coming from because I had no idea the power of Reddit until I wrote my first post anyway Ted begged for some time apart he is going through a lot of

things and has a lot of feelings which are exacerbated by my presence he carries a lot of guilt and opening so many closets and confronting skeletons is a lot to ask of anyone we are not Officially divorced but we are not looking for a new home together either we are still in the process of selling our old home so he has been staying there while I have been staying with my parents I'm not sure what will happen once the sale of our house is completed or what he intends to do but I promised him space

so there's that he did give me permission to inform you all because despite some unpleasant messages and comments the most of you are extremely Kind and helpful here's Ted's updated family tree counting the sisters b stands for brother of Ted and S stands for sister B number one doctor with some type of military background wife three kids B number two surgeon wife two dogs and a bearded dragon B number three engineer fiance and dog B number four teacher and researcher wife one kid s number one B number five works in A8 not sure of details

wife B number six doctor single and ready to mingle B number Seven Chef businessman wife one kid B number eight Car Sales wife three kids number two and number three B number nine Ted's ex-wife and Cat B number 10 Ash I didn't just throw in the sisters to add some spice to my chaotic scenario I'm sorry to disappoint I didn't count them previously because well I don't want to offend anyone who has lost a family member but I'm going by what I know about that family all three sisters were born and died before Ted was

even Conceived he's never mentioned having sisters in his life therefore he just says he has Brothers to me and him he does not have any sisters you people are wild the theories you developed some more accurate than others ranged from entirely Ral to clearly delusional however based on what you and I know about this family Insanity runs in the family no they were not all murdered sisters number two and three were twins who died from A congenital defect my Apologies for stating genetic I'm not sure why so many people assumed it was something only for

women Ted just knows that their lungs were not properly developed or something like as you are aware I am not on speaking terms with his family and hence cannot ask any further questions they died in the hospital a few weeks after birth birth so none of the brothers could have harmed them sister number one died in a motorcycle accident caused by one of the Brothers driving while intoxicated and underage why didn't I simply say it outright because it is none of my or your concern it wasn't relevant to our circumstance and I honestly believe that

people deserve privacy I'm not going to tell you which brother it was so you can choose whichever fits your story best many people have asked about the nasty secrets that their mother forgave them for I'll post the ones that I have permission to share I'm not going to Reveal which brother did what simply number seven because I've already disclosed it so there's no use in hiding it now I simply copied and pasted the comment I made then there are 10 Brothers altogether Brothers 1 through four are the classic older brothers golden children straight A students

brothers age five and under were used to trying to meet the expectations established by the oldest four it was expected that every one of them excelled In a sport received good grades attended college on a scholarship since paying for 10 children's college is difficult and had a career brother number seven did not want to he is a great man he simply felt it was unfair that his life was determined by competing against his brothers so after he graduated from high school he stated that he was studying overseas to become a chef but that his scholarship

would only pay partial tuition and not room and board his Parents were ecstatic that their son was studying overseas to become a well-known worldwide Chef they said okay as long as you maintain good grades and cook us your Specialty Foods when you visit for vacation and such so he relocated to New York with four roommates and pretended to have an international life he doesn't use social media often so he didn't need to prove anything he merely had to make sure to phone his folks at times that made sense given the time difference he Didn't have

to video call them because technology hadn't Advanced far by then he just made up some great stories to share during the holidays he retained the money he received from his parents to pay for tuition and boarding and invested it in something that turned out to be quite profitable so he moved back to to the West Coast and announced that he was now managing eateries it all came to light when one of the oldest brother's kids expressed her desire to Attend the same school as brother number7 she requested him to take her there and show her

around by that point he had enough money that there weren't many penalties but he still Cooks Thanksgiving and Christmas meals since he cooks well so here's what I know because Ted their mother or the brother in issue informed me they did it with no ramifications from their parents stealing and totaling at least two cars same brother both times stealing a car Different brother leaving Grandma alone for the week when they were supposed to care for her stealing and selling things from the house other brothers getting into fights that ended up with police involvement getting into

fights that did not end up with police involvement but did end up with a trip to the hospital skipping school events like senior trips and pocketing the money public nudity public indecency and public urination I guess it does run in the family one Stalking incident ended up with a restraining order there was plenty of underage drinking and driving Under the Influence where is the father I last saw him in an n in the living room of their mother's house so hopefully he's still there growing up he was an ass a deeply chauvinist and abusive father

and husband he was a decent grandfather to his grandchildren but if you have anything to say about it bring it up with them why would you expose your Children to such a nasty person I don't have my own children Ted's parents were and still are quite traditional with looks being the most important thing to them all they desired was a perfect family complete with proud sons and lovely daughters I'm not rationalizing anything but their daughters's deaths had a significant impact on them and their families why did they have two more children after all that happened

they desperately desired another Daughter and tried two more times before being unable to produce any more children I'm not sure if they would have tried again or if her inability to produce further children exacerbated the situation what happened to Ashley I do not know I'd like to claim I don't know and don't care but I do care as a human being after therapy I'm a little more empathetic and I know he's sick so I care and hope he is okay able to recover and go forward I simply want it would Happen far away from me

I'm not sure if he's still institutionalized but I have it on good authority that he's staying away from me so that's it for that family I hope this answers all of your questions concerning them as always a big thanks to be number six for being fantastic he has been really supportive throughout everything and in general he is a nice person who was still single and looking to meet new people when I told him I was updating again he made Sure I emphasized it so if anyone on the west coast is looking for a gorgeous doctor

with a crazy dysfunctional family he's the one tortilla has sincerely appreciated all of the love affection and appreciation as I indicated in a previous remark I apologize for not paying the CAT tax but right now I am not comfortable sharing images of anything including tortilla with anyone nothing against you personally just feeling uneasy after everything that has Transpired so I really apologize for that since I'm evading taxes I'll tell you she's a black cat she's named tortilla because I'm not very good at cooking and the first time I made Ted tacos I completely forgot the

tortillas were in the oven and they got fully burned as for me everything sucks and will continue to suck for a while boo that's just life I had to quit my job after quitting my previous work therefore I'm currently unemployed in Freeloading at my parents but my father claims he doesn't mind he just wants wants me to be okay and I love him for that it's good to have my sisters around plus there are more kitties to play with tortilla I am still in treatment which is about all I can do with my life right

now on the plus side I'm sure none of these cats have ever been groomed as frequently as they have in the last two weeks so they're all exceptionally shiny and attractive that's it for today sorry For the lengthy read update four return to P toown I've written numerous updates over the course of the Year some while joyful some while sad and some while drunk but I opted not to upload them in order to give you a suitable conclusion to the story but I recognize that real life does not have a proper ending there will always

be more going on hopefully this will be the end of it for all of us and I will be able to go on while you will be satisfied with how things have Turned out thus far I really hope you do I also hope that writing this and giving it to you offers me the closure I need I'm writing this update now because I'm in a good enough State to open up and relieve my guilt over the lack of updates it's quite wonderful of most of you to check on me during the year it's incredible to

me that it's been over a year and there are still new letters and good comments in my inbox I apologize for not responding sooner but please Know that I read each and every comment and it warms my heart to know that there are so many wonderful people out there wishing a random stranger kindness I'll admit that part of me is always frightened to write an update part of it stems from the real life consequences of putting things online such as being identified which I have experienced the second aspect is the finality of it it's strange

but I feel like if I don't tell you about it I can simply pretend it's Not happening it's not really healthy as my therapist has pointed out so I'm putting on my cat hair covered big girl pants and confronting the reality it's crazy to believe that this all began just a few days into the new year and how close we are to doing it again I recall spending New Year's Eve cuddled up on the couch with Ted and tortilla hoping that 2021 would be full of Adventures and excitement I guess I should watch My Wish

for the future year I'm not even sure what I'll do that day perhaps I'll pack tortilla and we'll go on an adventure as I don't intend to sit on the couch and reminisce over the past year I can say though that it was a very comfortable couch and I miss it tremendously I adore Ted I believe a part of me will always adore him I've spent such a lengthy and vital part of my life with him that it feels strange to be without him in my daily life short story he asked for a divorce so

there You have it it was as amicable a divorce as possible given our circumstances we cried during the entire process he called to ask for my pardon I begged him not to leave me but as much as it hurt it was necessary for him to recuperate from everything that had happened we are still buddies we've been best friends for so long that even if that part of our relationship is locked off we're still there for each other I know you don't want to hear about my heartbreak You probably want the latest gossip and juicy information

so I will give the facts I have just keep in mind that now that we parted I'm not privy to many details I'll divide things into sections to make it simpler to read but not in chronological order just to keep things organized my ex's family B number eight wife three children fish and a cat I haven't heard from them since the divorce but I know they previously adopted a kitty named Bob B number seven Wife and child no idea I haven't heard from them I haven't asked B6 with his girlfriend he is no longer single

and ready to socialize I'm Overjoyed for him and his new girlfriend is genuinely amazing she is a fellow redditor who has read the PES Saga and still loves him despite his dysfunctional family I've met them several times this year and she really is nice of course they have their ups and downs as well as conflicts with the Other brothers but they are doing well overall B number six actually came to see me after Ted sought for a divorce he hugged me and informed me that I would always be his little sister regardless of whether I

was married or not it's been extremely heartbreaking to lose my husband and half of what I regarded to be my family but I did get to keep a brother because I only have sisters B5 and his wife he never liked me and I finally figured out why he's not very Fond of Ted as you are aware the brothers were not particularly nice growing up and it appears that number five was the worst of the bunch and he disliked it when Ted stood up to him or defended Ash he hasn't liked him since they were younger

I have had no interaction with him nor do I intend to B number four wife child they have remained largely unchanged they were always friendly B number four made certain that Ash was on all of the Do Not adopt lists at every shelter shop or vet in the area where they live he claims that even if Ash does well for the rest of his life he will not risk another cat or other animal going through the same ordeal if his mental health deteriorates so at least I left that family with the confidence that future cats

would be safe from Ash which made me feel a little better there's always the potential he'll get astray or someone would adopt one for him but B Number four told me that he'd do all in his ability to prevent it from happening again B number three his now wife and their dog got married when The Saga began they were only engaged at the time it was a lovely ceremony but I did not go despite the fact that both the bride and groom invited me and stated I should come because I was family Ted asked me

to come but I didn't want to destroy any more family photos I did however attend via Zoom which is how I knew it was Enjoyable B2 his wife two pets and a dragon B number two was quite helpful when everything transpired and was among the first to take action he apologized extensively to me both for the initial pressure to let Ash move in and for what happened subsequently he felt particularly sorry for his role in his brother's mental health I thanked him for the first two apologies and informed him that the third one was not

mine to accept he was understanding and stated That he would concentrate on improving his family's ties and that it was unfair that I should bear the brunt of the consequences for something that was not my fault after the divorce he contacted me and said that if I needed anything he would be there for me overall it was a wonderful message and I know he's also in therapy now which is fantastic B1 his wife and three children as you know B number one was the most offended by the entire scenario because it affected one Of his

daughters last you heard they had requested me to remain away and give them some room but his oldest daughter contacted me she's a darling who told me she misses her life before everything happened I did not inquire about what her parents told her but I felt they had to tell her some version of events because she is old enough to ask the correct questions he did not press charges but they moved fortunately for daughter number one they moved to the East coast where she discovered an incredible culinary program that she is extremely enthused about daughter

number two according to her sister mother and therapist is doing quite well apparently she never had much interaction with Ash outside of large family gatherings with others he was taking his anger out on her because she is the spitting image of her father not so much for her as an individual but for who she represents and the fact that she is a woman I'll go Into that later she is still in treatment but she is very irritated about it claiming that it has nothing to do with her and that she is distraught about having to

move and leave all of her friends overall B number one's family is safe and adjusting to life on the East Coast although they continue to keep a distance for me they haven't liked the weather so far but I have told daughter number one that she is welcome to come anytime B number one's wife and I are friendly enough that she would let it B number one and I haven't talked since everything went down all Communications have gone through his wife and daughters the wicked way from the West some days just for fun I'll go into

our slj noal and tell myself that mine wasn't as horrible as others I'll see some and wish I had one whose Worst Behavior was to wear white to my wedding we were never best friends but she was not always mean to me living on the Opposite side of the country created a barrier in our relationship ship that I believe we were both comfortable with we didn't have much interaction with one other and we were fine with it she had so many other Dills around who raised her grandchildren that I wasn't as significant to her I

continued to call her on her birthdays and anniversaries and she always invited me over for the holidays whenever we went over the holidays the house was always so full of People that I was just one more or one less and I was fine with that I believe that's when my door mating with this family began I tried to be as helpful as possible and would do whatever to help but It ultimately backfired on me I believe the most time we ever spent together was during our wedding preparations our wedding was never significant to Ted or

me all we wanted was to be together our parents on the other hand were eager to have a large Wedding I'm the first of my sisters to marry and given the age difference between Ted and his Elder Brothers there hadn't been a huge occasion like this in a while I have absolutely no regrets about marrying Ted I could do without the large wedding though I wish we could have married at the courthouse with just the two of us or perhaps gone to Vegas and been married by Elvis I'm not sure if they still do that

but it seems just as if not more memorable than a large 200 person wedding I recall how happy she was when we eventually agreed on The Big Wedding it was as if for the first time I wasn't simply another Dill in the pile it's foolish but it felt good to feel that I was finally allowed into the Inner Circle even if it came at the expense of a lavish wedding I attempted to involve her in the process as much as possible with 10 Sons I assumed she didn't have many opportunities to do female things she

was sweet to me back Then possibly to get her way and I was too naive to see I stayed at the golden Dill for a bit after that I believe until another granddaughter was born then I was relieved to be out of the spotlight returning to our normal coexistence it was exhausting to be on her side with all of the expectations that come with it it's weird to go back and remember how much I wanted her to like me and now i' do anything to keep her unaware of my presence after Ash was Admitted to

a psych facility she did everything she could to tear me down I went to see her along with the rest of the family for a time but eventually made apologies with some of them of certainly not with her I saw her once when she arrived with some of the others to pack up Ash's place she went to my parents house solely to yell at me which was terrible the worst part was that she timed it so perfectly my parents were at work and my sisters were either at work Or school I was the only one

sobbing on the other side of the door I heard the door doorbell and rushed to open it only to see her she didn't even try to be nice and just threw it all on me she brought up everything I had ever done to her and her family she told me I was a failure as a wife and that she hoped the divorce would ruin me she stated she would make sure her son grabbed everything from me and that she would not stop until I was impoverished she Stated she was glad I was Barren because she

couldn't bear the thought of mixing her blood with mine she said so many horrible things that day but the last one was the most memorable Ted and I were never trying to have children but we weren't trying not to we assumed we were steady enough that if it was meant to be it would happen but it never did does it make me an evil human being to be grateful that my parents neighbors contacted the cops and removed her from Of the property my sister discovered me sitting on the floor crying with tortilla she contacted Ted

and I believe he heard the account from B number five who drove her I never saw him I haven't heard anything from her since I'm not sure what Ted told her or what she told him I only know that she has left me alone alone since that day and I am grateful for that Ted is the universe's most decent ex-husband I could tell you a thousand things about Ted or none at All it feels strange not to be with him but I try to respect his wants and wishes as you are aware he sought a

divorce from me on the grounds that I cannot do this to you I can never forgive myself for placing you in this situation I do not want to expose you to my family again and allow them to damage you I was irritated because he was making decisions for me without considering what I wanted for myself but after many long therapy sessions I Realized that while he claimed to be doing it to protect me it was actually to protect himself or at the very least to alleviate his guilt perhaps not having me around made him feel

as if nothing had happened or he honestly believed that this was the best option for me it really sucks because I've always thought about what was best for us as a whole not just myself and him however his solution was not to have a team some days I wake up loathing his Name in Shadow While others I simply stare at my phone and contemplating phoning him sometimes I lose that battle and end up calling him he always responds and assures me that he is there for me anyway we sold our house and he moved out

he temporarily relocated to the West Coast to address family difficulties while his divorce was being conducted he returned because his job was waiting for him and he enjoys it I'm not sure if I should be grateful that He's still living in the city that was once our home or angry that he's ruined an entire city I like it's unfortunate that every area I want to visit is packed with memories of him Perhaps it is time for me to relocate and begin a new somewhere where no one is aware of my dark tragic background I'll tell

you more about Ted's travels on the East Coast later this section contains life updates some individuals expressed concern for him and sent him well wishes Via comments and messages I pass them forward and he thanks me I'll copy and paste a portion of the update I made but did not post the day he returned to town and invited me to meet this is about your redditors I apologize in advance it wasn't a good day I never used Reddit much I'm wondering where my life would be without you now I probably would have allowed his family

continue to dorm at me and who knows maybe I'd be with sunny right now and Ash would have gotten all Of his life's Ambitions fulfilled to this day I still received texts wishing us both well a part of me wishes I didn't have to share you with him why does he deserve your best wishes while I the one who ended up alone you are bigger and better people than me I did tell him that you hoped he was okay I'll admit that I told him partially to hurt him and make him feel guilty maybe I'll

regret it later but I simply needed him to feel anything other than sympathy For me do you know what the worst part is he laughed even though it was a dead man's chuckle I was concerned by the sound it isn't fair that he gets to chuckle he thanked you and expressed hope that one day he will be the man you believed he was or could be he also apologized for disappointing you all and acknowledged that this is not the ending you had hoped for although some of you wished for this conclusion from the beginning I'm

not sure if you've changed Your mind after all of the updates or if you still believe I should leave him he has always preferred to be in control so he left me alone aside from that Ted is as good as he could be he has good and terrible days just like I do we meet on a regular basis to check on each other he informs me about his life and I tell him how I am doing after his mother paid a visit to my parents place I moved out I haven't asked him to my new

apartment and I don't sure I want to I believe Having a house with without memories of him or his family for the first time in a decade is just what I need right now tortilla misses him but I try to convince myself that she understands my pain I don't know where to start an ash was first committed following his dispute with his brothers and B numbers three four and8 arrived to assist sort things out he stayed for a few weeks during his visit he repeatedly requested to see Ted but he never did however he Did

once write him a letter at the time I didn't want to know what it stated but I have eventually asked Ted about it he stated that he had written to tell him to stop asking to see him that he needed to prioritize himself and his life over Ash for once and that he should stop putting Ash's wants ahead of his own after a few weeks B number three arranged for his relocation to the West Coast I'm not sure whether he was transported to another facility or Released into their custody once that was completed which took

about 2 months their mother B number five and B number 7 arrived to pack up his flat and legally relocate him back West as previously stated I am unsure of the exact timeline but he eventually moved in with their mother B number two was in charge of overseeing his therapy and I trust he will continue to do so it was difficult for Ted to come over and express himself to his family he first Met with his brothers I'm not sure if everyone was there but based on what Ted told me I believe the most involved

were B number three told them some of what he had discussed with his doctors while on the East Coast he had treatment for a psychotic episode I believe he's been in treatment since then I'm not sure what the precise diagnosis is but they discussed a lot of topics they discussed their background and how their bullying affected Ash how Ted's Protectiveness fostered an unhealthy emotional relationship and a few other topics came up I'm not sure if these are the conclusions they reached if they were told by Ash's therapist or how they arrived but this is what

Ted told me when he returned it was strange listening to him talk about it he was so disconnected as if he were speaking about someone else's family but I suppose that his method of digesting things I do not know many of you have Wondered what kind of bullying they may have done to cause him to behave this way Ted answered a few of those questions for me to maintain consistency I will not tell you who did what as usual you can use your own brother to match your story just be aware that while some brothers

are contrite and regretful for their actions it appears that others are not many of you also made suggestions about the type of torturing they did with some being more Accurate than others apart from your regular standardized bullying of punching humiliating mocking tricking and insulting there was also locking him in cabinets stealing his clothes leaving him outside all night long locking all bathrooms so he'd have to wet himself threatening with a variety of items and weapons leaving him at places and making him walk miles to their house in a variety of weather putting him in diapers

antagonizing him tying him up And dragging him on ATVs through I could continue but you get the picture I understand that some individuals don't get along with their siblings and that bu bullying and sibling rivalry exist but it looked so wicked when he described it what could he have done to deserve this I don't understand it it doesn't excuse his actions but it explains some of it his dislike of women stems from a similar Source the common assumption is that he blames his mother For failing to protect him from all of this which reinforces his

perception of women as weak and useless if his mother couldn't keep him safe from his own brothers who could I suppose his brothers didn't assist him with that growing up because they would isolate him from any girl that shown an interest in him that's how his emotional bond with Ted began he was the only one who stood up and defended him but we all know how it ended for now and hopefully Forever Ash is staying in the west I am sorry I do not have more definitive answers for you I'm sure many of you expected

them but I can't bring myself to ask any more questions while this all began while I was fresh out of school I retained two pairs of sneakers from the PE event I threw out the majority of the rest but those two pairs the first pair is irrelevant to you and the second were the first things I purchased with my own money from my very first internship While still in school represented the very first step as a result shoes have contributed to my Independence having to stop both of my jobs move back in with my parents

and loose Ted sucked and all I could think about were those shoes stowed in a box and how unjust it was that I had lost everything the shoes represented I'm steadily rebuilding my life the first steps will be to move into my new apartment and get a new job I guess I'll wait and see what the Future has in store for tortilla and me I haven't worn them since they were peed on but maybe I will sometime when I feel more like myself happy holidays Reddit I'm not sure what mine will be like but I

hope yours is full of light and joy much love from my tattered Heart Ellie and tortilla the cat update 5 PE and tell no Tales it's been a long since I was here I even quit posting unpublished updates since I didn't want to worry about life or anything how are you all Doing how is your New Year going so far I I hope everyone has been happy and healthy that all of your kitties have been petted and that your bladders are empty I'll keep this update as short as possible I've received a few comments and

letters indicating that I write too much and take too long to get to the point and I apologize for that although it is not my responsibility to keep you updated on my life I am writing to express my gratitude for the outpouring Of love and support from many redditors as well as those who have inquired about my well-being and requested updates so if it's too long for you feel free to quit reading at any time my story has no bearing on your life except for entertainment so you can remain or leave and I'll be none

the wiser I last posted just before the holidays and I'll admit that my holiday preparations were not the best in retrospect I know I mentioned in my last update that I Wouldn't sit on the couch and wallow in self-pity but you can guess what I did I was honestly not in the mood to celebrate my family is very into Christmas and pleasure and joy and I didn't want to dampen the spirit so I told my father I was spending it with a friend who had just lost her her husband she traveled across the state to

be with his folks and I stayed at home with tortilla watching movies Ted contacted me on Christmas Day and for the first Time I did not respond are you all incredibly proud of me I knew you would be after so many of you agreed that I should cut them off entirely please accept my baby steps even after everything that had transpired I couldn't bring myself to give up on my best buddy he texted me later in the day to check in and see if I was okay claiming he had seen my sister's photos on Facebook

Facebook and noted I wasn't there should I ask my sisters to block Him he loves them and they love him he was a fantastic guy before everything happened and he's still doing his best now I'm not sure if it's how I write when I write or if I'm influenced by our relationship but Ted isn't as bad as some of you make him out to be he is also going through a really terrible experience and having to confront everything his family did is difficult I waited on his text for a few hours contemplating how to respond

and Honestly came up empty-handed I wasn't doing well but overall he's the one who knows me best our 10 years together were not wasted we didn't end our relationship because we were no longer in love but because it was best for us both in some ways you have a unique opportunity to read my updates you are not the ones whose life were shattered and you moved from having a loving family to being absolutely alone I had my family and you to rely on but Ted Didn't because of all of this some of his brothers have

developed a stronger dislike for him he lost his greatest buddy and younger brother he has lost his partner he lost tortilla as well and while it's a relief he also lost his mother you only know my side of the story and the morsels I share with you so it's easy to villainize him and think of him as a monster for hurting me but he is still a human he was also deeply hurt throughout the event and he is Human and bound to make mistakes even though I don't think our divorce will ever be considered a

mistake by him I ended up simply responding with something like wasn't up for a party so just stayed in with tortilla Merry Christmas and I guess he realized something was wrong and came to my park he is familiar with the general area where I live as well as the gorgeous Park that I frequent and he invited me to meet him which I accepted yes you can Be less proud of my minor accomplishment that day but again baby steps we spoke for several hours I had no idea he was spending Christmas alone otherwise I would have

preferred to spend it with him or at the absolute least invite him to my parents many of you have urged that cutting him off completely is the greatest option but I disagree I might alter my mind later but for the time being I believe we still need each other a little every day I think I need him a Little less but that day I needed him and sometimes he needs me as well I'd like to believe we can be friends but I realize that in the long run it might not be feasible he'll eventually find

another partner and they're unlikely to like me or perhaps we will grow apart maybe one day I'll loathe him for what happened but for the time being he has benefited me in ways way that others cannot it may sound ridiculous from my perspective but I don't believe anyone Else genuinely understands who I am right now I am not the same person I was before everything happened I'm no longer the same person I was a year ago going through this with his family affected both of us dramatically and not everyone understands why I'm not comfortable bringing

children to the restroom or why I had to leave sick when my boss brought me sunflowers on International women's day I believe we both lost aspects of ourselves that were perhaps a little too Naive and we've both matured in ways neither of us imagined but which have helped to ground us I've had a very fortunate and protected existence and while I've lost part of the brightness that once filled me I believe this new shade has helped me connect with people more and understand their hardships in a more empathic manner or at the very least I

would want to believe so perhaps that is just what going to therapy accomplishes for you in that case I Strongly advise everyone P or not to go to therapy overall I believe we are both doing a little better tortilla is doing well aside from a minor Health scare she is doing well as usual our new apartment has a lot of Windows which means there are plenty of Sunny spots which she is loving Ted lost communication with the majority of his family and is currently in limited contact with B4 and B6 so I don't really have

anything to say about Ash or the rest of the brothers except for B6 who's quite sorry that Ted is keeping his distance from him especially because he has cut off almost everyone but he says he understands and will be there for him when he is ready it was said sever several times that what was previously referred to as bullying was actually abuse and I believe it is crucial to utilize that term when characterizing their childhood I believe that part of the difficulty that led the House of cards to collapse was the dismissive attitude of everyone

involved even Ted and Ash who dismissed it as boys will be boys brothers are like that or simply I thought it was normal I believe that if any of the spouses or I had known the scope of things in their youth we might have made quite different decisions of course my ex Mill Bears a lot of responsibility for for it but I suppose we've all learned from it I don't think I'm ready to start dating Yet I believe I need to learn to be alone first I've been with Ted since college and it's been quite

some time I don't think I know how to perform first aid anymore but I'm sure I'll be able to Google it when I get there it's been strange adjusting to a loone I don't want to call it loneliness because sometimes it's Pleasant you know I'll finish a book and close it and the place will be quiet not eerie but comforting I've had to learn a lot which has made Me realize how much I rely on others to assist me with tasks that I could always handle alone I replaced a tire for the first time it

was a terrifying encounter because my tire popped on the highway but I made it after losing a bunch of plants I realized that different plants take different care but I now have a small basil plant that is thriving well I discovered that I dislike action films the fast pace and continual pressure do not appeal to me I learned how to cook Shrimp Ted is allergic so we didn't have any at home Pro tip remember to devain your shrimp I also missed certain aspects of my time with Ted I had to drive myself to the emergency

room after missing a carrot with a knife and I believe hospitals should offer valet parking tortilla had a health scare and sitting alone in the waiting room was quite unpleasant the death anniversary of a Childhood Buddy passed and he was not there to comfort me I likewise Despise mopping and am forced to do it myself that's about it I don't think I've seen Ted since Christmas though we do text and contact each other occasionally we're learning to be aart without giving up all of our support at once we're still healing I'm still healing but I

can confidently say that I can see the bright side now when previously it was just a matter of taking each day as it came I am not sure if that makes sense Ted's birthday is coming up I don't believe I'll go see him but I'll ask his buddies to make sure he is not alone I've considered adopting an elderly cat for him he's always had strong feelings for them and I believe it would be beneficial for him but I don't want to go too far what do you all think finally I'd want to thank you

for your ongoing support and best wishes you actually are a fantastic community that exemplifies the Best of human nature of course Reddit has its dark corners and unpleasant people but the vast majority of you are such a powerful support system without even knowing me or the many others you have assisted I'm simply thinking that maybe the Internet isn't so horrible I'll make an effort to repay and spread all of the generosity I've gotten from you all and perhaps one redditor at a time we might leave this place a little better than we found it right

now I Believe this is as good a last update as any a somewhat happy conclusion with a promising future I'm not sure maybe I'll surprise you all like Gilmore Girls and offer you a year in the Life somewhere in the future but for now I can assure you that everything will be fine head pets for everyone who want them intended for cats but I don't discriminate by species and my love for everyone from my repairing Heart Ellie and tortia update six Return of the pman hello nice Individuals how are are you almost a year has

passed and I hope we've all gotten older and wiser it's endearing to know that even after all this time people are still following me and sending me encouraging messages and comments also thank you to everybody who reported me to Reddit care I had no idea they offered that service I hope it came from a position of care and concern I believe the story was shared on Tik Tok at some point so hello to everyone who Arrived from there at this time I expect AOL chat groups or Yahoo answers to appear the new 20s are kicking

my ass and not in a particularly good way I can't wait for this decade to end a redditor referred to my previous update as a holiday special which made me laugh I don't think they meant it kindly but it made me laugh because I am a total sucker for the Hallmark Channel so here I am again following the holidays for my enemies and those who don't want to sit Through a half-hour rant here is the tldr I bought a robot mop my basil died things began to seem normal my ex-husband attempted suicide and I'm now

back at my parents house I've highlighted the bits referenced in the tldr so you can jump to the relevant Parts but now for a more detailed account of events which may not be in chronological order my life-saving robot mop and my dying basil at the recommendation of several redditors I Purchased a steam mop it did help it first but I still had to go through the motions of cleaning and the fact that the floor was still damp and my socks were wet is what concerns me about mopping so um at the recommendation of several redditors

I purchased a robot mop I had a room but I had no idea they also created mop versions it's perfect and I adore it I run her while I'm out for the day and when I return home the floors are freshly cleaned and dried It's the greatest feeling in the world my small basil plant died I believe it is my fault because I relocated it from its previous location in the kitchen where it received more light but it is now dead I did create a delicious pasta salad with the rest of it Oro with cherry

tomatoes mozzarella balls olive oil salt and basil very simple and wonderful I was given a few little Rose plants and managed to kill them all within a few months so I gave up on Living vegetation my internal monologue ramblings are returning to some sense of normaly life sucks and then you die one of my sisters has always been hooked to that statement and I believe the beauty of it is that it can be interpreted in a variety of ways she sees it as a lesson not to dwell on the negative because you never know when

you'll die but right now I feel it a little more physically I suppose the romanticized phrase when it Reigns at pores stems from a similar Idea I went on a date set up by a buddy of mine with his coworker and it was awkward I'm not sure if I've always been this awkward if first dates are inherently awful or if we just didn't click but I spent the entire evening feeling fight or flight the guy was great perhaps we should have done something less formal than dinner I haven't been on a first date in years

I suppose most people currently like coffee and I should have Followed suit or maybe I wasn't prepared yet my new not so new job which I obtained after everything happened is wonderful my supervisor no longer gives me flowers as gifts I'm not sure if he was smart and noticed what occurred last year and took the hint or if someone mentioned it but now when everyone else gets flowers I get lamps I know that seems strange but I enjoy lamps and light up items in the last year he has given me a cute kitten NightLight that

I Liking as well as some fairy lights and one of those Himalayan rock salt lamps he's a nice guy and I appreciate his efforts my co-workers are wonderful and the work we perform is both enjoyable and rewarding which is something I did not have before I used to work two jobs one satisfying and one to pay the bills it's crazy to have one that does both and it makes me feel like I wasted so much time with my prior one so there's a silver lining to everything tortilla is Doing well she is now forced to

eat prescription food and is really unhappy about it even though it's been months winter is always difficult for her because she becomes extra fluffy which bothers her so it's time to do extra brushing and deshedding if you have long-haired pets I recommend the firminator but Amazon has cheaper choices she's getting older so I do my best to keep her comfortable one of my sisters got a kit and we look after him When she is away tortilla simply Ador him matcha the kitten dislikes all of the grooming she gives him and pretends not to like her

but if he falls asleep he will go cuddle with her if she wakes up Before He'll flee I'm rambling perhaps because I'm not sure where to begin or what to say it's also a little alarming because I know certain individuals are keeping an eye on me through this account I don't mind if they do but it still seems strange like When you know someone is watching you from afar I'm not sure whether that makes sense to you people but yeah anyway when I'm feeling particularly masochistic I'll browse the comments on sites where the pman Saga

has been discussed most of you on my own threads are extremely nice and helpful but outside of my own virtual walls individuals Express harsher opinions as previously stated it is both masochistic and harmful and I'm aware of this my Therapist is aware of this but it also serves to Anchor me and allow me to see things from New Perspectives for example someone branded me insane for being so infatuated with cats I hadn't realized it but a large amount of my updates are about cats and their well-being this is because I genuinely enjoy cats that person

claimed I displayed more empathy for cats than I did for ash my in-laws or even Ted and yes you could call me sociopathic but domesticated animals in General have little control in what happens in their life we as pet owners make decisions for them and strive to make the best ones we can but in the case of Sunny I will always feel more pity for her than for anyone else since she was helpless there was no no other choice for her no Safe Haven and no one to advocate for her even if you remove the

sentimental aspect of my attachment to cats it was still terrible from a Humane sense and there is a reason why Animal cruelty charges were contemplated other responses suggested that I was over victimizing myself that what I went through was insignificant and that I was overly dramatic which I may be they claimed the genuine victims were X Y or Z I believe that everyone involved in this event is a victim in some manner but being a victim in your own story does not include becoming a villain in someone else's take my XM as an example she

has received the least amount of Sympathy in what I have read although her husband was AOS an abusive parent and husband I know her upbringing was less than ideal and she has a lot of unresolved Trauma from the deaths of her daughters does this excuse her behavior no does it provide some explanation maybe does that make up for all of the harm she caused definitely not Ash was a victim of an extremely brutal childhood but part of the reason this took everyone off guard and things went Downhill so quickly was that he was very well

put together or at the very least he was fantastic at managing or disguising his emotions he has an engineering degree from a reputable University a solid employment and a fulfilling life after graduation everything went down with the pandemic and isolation I'm not sure and I've thought about it a lot but what would have occurred if there hadn't been a pandemic wouldn't Ash have snapped could Something else have prompted him would anyone else have unlocked the skeleton closet imaginary what ifs are their own ADV I've imagined so many various lives with joyful sad and tragic endings

I know it's not a good idea to focus on those but I occasionally Envy the possibilities however I must say that in my wildest dreams I never imagined Ted dying first and foremost he is not dead he is doing fine right now please keep in mind that while this is presented From my point of view Ted was the actual person in the center of it I was only a casualty it took many many therapy sessions to accept that it wasn't my fault I was simply the unfortunate one who drew the short stick years of violence

and dismissive behavior from their family shaped Ash into the person he is now that would have come out somehow regardless of my role I'd like to think that something convinced him to see a real therapist and that it was Dealt with in a safe healthy manner but I suppose we will never know the one thing I've learned to appreciate is that I was the one who broke the camels back not b1s daughter things would have been significantly different and far more terrifying Ted was also involved as you may recall I maintained contact with B6 during

the divorce but at the recommendation of many of you and other individuals in my life I took a step back and removed myself from him a few Months later B6 phoned me and asked whether I had heard from Ted recently which I had not he stated that some Family Matters had occurred he did not specify what and I did not inquire and that several of them had attempted to contact him but had been unsuccessful he informed me he was worried and that he was planning to visit our city to check on him and let him

know if I heard anything from him I knew Ted was keeping his family at a remove especially B6 so It didn't surprise me that they hadn't heard from him to be fair Ted is unlikely to Simply disregard a family email I sent him a message informing him that B6 had contacted me looking for him but I did not hear back from him Ted and I had separated ourselves from each other by that point as stated in my several updates so his lack of response was not surprising but read my message fast forward approximately 2 weeks

and B6 tells me he's in town and wants to Meet with me I said yes because I missed him and invited him to dinner at a new restaurant that I thought he would enjoy he responded no only coffee that was strange because B6 is a huge foodie who never turns down new restaurants but I assumed he was only in town for a few days and wanted to spend more time with Ted we met at my Park and he seemed tough I only remember taking a step back and feeling dread that feeling you get when you

know someone is going to tell You bad news to be honest I expected him to tell me that Ash had returned to town but he just seemed defeated he told me that a few more things had come to light in the family but I wasn't very interested so I didn't ask for specifics I'm sorry I can't Supply more juicy gossip which I know you enjoy when he arrived to check on Ted he saw him in a serious downward spiral Ted had never been a big drinker only socially and on rare occasions but when B6 arrived

at His house at 10:00 a.m. on a Saturday he was utter intoxicated B6 stayed with him and sobered him up until Sunday when he caught him up on the family situation B6 went out to retrieve his belongings from his hotel and returned to find Ted absolutely comos Ted spent some time in the hospital when he called for help I'm not sure if anything else occurred to him or if it was just the accumulation of everything that had happened over the previous two years catching up with him But it appears to me that he had been

on a self-destructive Bender for quite some time when I discussed it with my therapist she said that it might make logic can help to explain the divorce maybe I'm simply looking for an explanation for why he divorced me after all these years but knowing Ted the way I do it makes sense he was always an excellent Guardian I suppose he developed that trait early in life while defending Ash he's the type of person That keeps an eye out for girls drinking at a pub and always stops to see whether an unaccompanied child is safe he

also has some controlling Tendencies which often cause him worry he is an excellent planner but he struggles when things do not go as planned it makes him strict at times but also highly Dependable those are all qualities I've always admired about him during our chats before to the divorce he repeatedly apologized for not being able to protect me and for putting Me in danger even though I believed I persuaded him that it wasn't his fault I guess he wasn't convinced he was also coming to terms with the fact that his family was not as nice

as he imagined he recognized he had contributed to the family's dismissive Behavior throughout their upbringing realizing how awful and horrifying his history was as well as how Wicked some some of his brothers are takes its toll on a person he was suffering with his own trauma intense Remorse and a sense of powerlessness Ted ended up going to a rehab center for a while he would not allow me visit but he did send me emails they are a little too personal to discuss with you but reading them was an emotionally charged experience the first few apologized

for worrying me and assured me that he was fine some were rambling and that is coming from me others were genuinely pretty good it was an interesting journey to see him go from hyper polite And apologetic to the man I fell in love with it was also fascinating to watch him assimilate what I had been saying for years and get insight into things I had never noticed before overall I believe it was cathartic for him I think writing is the finest release which is why I'm here it enabled him to arrange his ideas I'm not

sure why he emails me personally rather than keeping a diary or sending emails to himself but I'm not complaining there was one email in which He was angry at everyone and everything everything went wrong and he was frustrated I felt quite relieved it was fantastic to see his light returning when he first emailed me he suggested that I not respond to his emails and instead listen or read if I wanted to I could just remove them and he would have no idea in the angry email he addressed me by a moniker he had not used

in years since before we married that really pissed me up it was not something Serious he was talking about a trip we'd taken with some buddies they ended up breaking up in the middle of it because they didn't want to return turn home because everything had already been paid for but they also refused to remain with each other as a result we had to divide the boys and girls into groups to complete the planned tasks he felt miserable the whole time he responded something like I have not forgiven Alyssa for Venice it was supposed to

be You so when I there's nothing wrong with the pet name but it only reminded me of everything I'd lost and all the memories I disregarded his request and responded to his email this resulted in increased correspondence between the two of us us he didn't take it hard when I responded so I'm not sure if that was his purpose all along or not but we just corresponded back and forth for a few weeks which was pleasant we never discussed Ash or his family when we Emailed I'm not sure if it was because it didn't come

up naturally or if he was avoiding the topic but it was good to communicate with him like we did when we first met we used to converse using Facebook messenger and just writing to him reminded me of those days it's ridiculous how much I still adore him and how much I miss him those foolish emails felt like getting my best buddy back even if he wasn't my spouse anymore he's presently back at his place with B3 His wife and dog lived with him for a while yay remote work until he was well adjusted he now

takes anti-depressants has a larger support network and is feeling much better he stopped shutting people off while still setting healthy limits which is fantastic he's reconnected with B3 B4 and B6 his closest friends aside from Ash and has lost contact with everyone El else I feel awful for his niblings because I know he was quite attached to some of Them and misses them but yes that is something he absolutely needed for what it's worth B6 has no touch with anyone he was always distant with everyone except Ted and Ash which I assume was because he

knew but after all he's moving closer to B4 and B3 so there's another Silver Lining I'm not clear how B3 and B4 interact with everyone else but I know B4 is involved he clearly understands and respects Ted's boundaries and does not share Information with or about him Ted and I have met a few times sometimes for friends activities sometimes just to catch up and I can tell he is doing well he has regained the weight he lost and his hair is glossy again his freckles are no longer visible indicating that he has spent time in

the sun which is beneficial and his shoulders no longer slump he returned to his job this week he was placed on leave of absence and I can tell it gives him a sense of purpose He was never able to stop doing anything so I can image how uncomfortable that time was for him as a result we visited a shelter where he adopted an elderly cat his name is socks I believe because he has white paws he is a wonderful and affectionate cat he's also missing many teeth Ted has been attempting to title him MC Beth

but he does not appear to enjoy it in Ted's defense socks does not respond to MC Beth so perhaps he will succeed tortilla was delighted to see Ted when I visited them she didn't particularly care for socks but that's because she dislikes animals larger than herself as I previously stated I am currently living on the east coast and 2022 was really difficult for us two hurricanes Slamm my town and my apartment flooded during the emergency my father regularly welcomes us to their house so tortilla and I were safe but that sucked I'm not sure if

it was a message from the cosmos Divine intervention or whatever but the two pairs of shoes I preserved were wrecked both of them I did everything I could to salvage them even Consulting with professionals but they were Beyond repair I mean it wasn't just those two shoes half of my goods had to be replaced along with a slew of other sentimental items but you already know about the shoes and my devotion to them even though they were a biohazard my poor apartment has been through a lot The floorboards had to be removed due to water

damage and they were already rotting and molding underneath by the time we were able to enter so it was a significant expense to correct unfortunately much of my furniture and appliances including the robot mop had to be replaced for the record I did have sandbags but it was probably too much for them insurance covered some of the repairs but definitely not all insurance claims are terrible but it turned out to Be the greatest alternative for fixing things and selling the apartment I'd always moaned about moving but moving with only a few boxes was especially unpleasant

I never brought so little with me to college so I'm now staying with my parents it's a little frustrating but I'm grateful to be here with them the house feels a little lonely because the last of my sisters has Rec recently moved away to college so it's silent safe for the cats running About but hey cats are excellent company I am in the process of closing on a new apartment in a highrise so hopefully this will not happen again I'll miss my Park but the new apartment is in an excellent position with everything close I

could also bike to work if I wanted to but I'd need to learn how to ride first why don't I know how to ride a bicycle because my father was overprotective and worried we would die if we rode a bike I'm not sure if I'm too old to learn to Ride a bike right now but I'm willing to damage my ego by trying training wheels tortilla will have plenty of bright spots in her new residence because the windows are much larger I plan to build a ctio at my previous home since I had a little

Terrace but the current location has a balcony which appears to be a little risky for AO so that's life right now I've been prioritizing work and spending time with my parents I scheduled a trip for March and it will Be my first time traveling alone I'm a little nervous because I've never had to organize a trip on my own did I mention Ted is an excellent planner I have no idea if I'm doing it correctly but that's the goal I've been taking classes in the language of the place I'm going so we'll see how much

I learn I want to share something as well which is why I ended up writing this update and using the title I chose I didn't include it in the tldr because I Don't want the haters to read everything I write if they don't want to why should they when six called me about Ted I was worried he was telling me that Ash had returned as you now understand this was not the case when Ted sought assistance I got a letter at my parents home it was a letter from Ashley I didn't feel dread for the

first time in 2 years after the incident I'm not sure if it's because I was receiving Ted's emails or if I had done some wonderful healing my therapist Definitely should start charging me more when I offered her a raise she declined claiming that it does not work that way but yes I read it he apologized he also admitted to several things he had done to me that I had never realized were microaggression on his behalf he admitted to a number of his behaviors that had always troubled me he did not attempt to justify anything only

apologized he revealed a couple other facts that were both surprising and Unsurprising as well as some that you guessed it felt a little rambling and frantic but I understand he apologized for hurting Ted said he knew what Ted was going through better than anybody else and admitted that he had caused irreparable damage and would never be in Ted's life again even if he couldn't assist his brother after everything he had done he knew that admitting his sins would help him make amends to me even if Ted had no idea it was a little way for

Him to implicitly apologize to him he stated something interesting I'm sorry I broke your marriage but I don't believe I ruined your life Ted would not have picked you unless you were resilient he also thank me for trying I tried really hard at first to be friends with him but after the occurrence it was a noggo he stated he had given up on people other than Ted trying for him and he regretted never giving me a chance he said he was envious that I could bring Ted happiness In ways he couldn't and he hated that

Ted had lost it because of him I believe it was simply a method for him to alleviate his guilt over harming his favorite person and observing the impact it had on him while also respecting his limits I mean he disrespected mine but I understand I have not told Ted about the letter I do not think I will either I told B6 and while he was angry at first he eventually understood and accepted it he told me it was up to me whether I Informed Ted or not that he didn't think it would do much harm

but wouldn't help either so if I felt obliged to tell or show him I would wait till he was in a better State and then run it by his therapist or do it in therapy final thoughts Christmas has come and gone again and this time I spent it with my family my sisters are the finest and they each gave me a pair of shoes to commemorate significant life events they gave me an empty shoe box to represent The pair I'll need to purchase to begin this new Journey it was the most heartfelt gift I've ever

received and it made me cry for the majority of Christmas morning I met Ted for new years's we were both invited to a mutual friends party and we had a wonderful time we didn't spend the entire time together on purpose but we did frequently find ourselves having our own talks without being impolite to others and simply laughing together when Midnight struck I was seated in the back away from the couples and he sat next to me resting his head on my shoulder we simply remained in comfortable Stillness as everyone else rang in the New Year

it's such a comfort to have Ted our friend back I still love him I probably always will I've tried distance no contact and sleeping with someone else to get him out of my system but it doesn't work I'm not sure if he's my fad soulmate and we'll always gravitate Toward each other or if it's simply the comfort and convenience of being together for so long but I can't help but love him I love the man he was before and the one he is today I adore the one he was in between and to be honest

I'll probably love the one he'll be every day after that I will not give up on him even if I have to I'd rather keep as a friend than constantly pushing him away especially since he makes me happy I deserve to be happy and he makes Me happy is this so wrong I know most of you keep saying it was good riddance that he did me a favor and that we should simply stop talking but I miss him maybe it makes me stupid but well at least I'll be stupid and content if he asks me

to take a step back I will but I'm content to be happy right now and worry about it later I believe both of us deserve it we both still have a lot of work to do and more healing is on the way but for the time being things are Going well which I believe we both need I believe that all of us including you require good if you've read this far I appreciate you taking the time I wish you all the best may you find $20 in your pocket may your favorite drink be available in

the shop and may your coffee be prepared to Perfection but seriously thank you for always allowing me to communicate about my life without being judged with love acceptance and compassion every single one one of you Is incredible and kind please know that I admire and cherish each of you individually thank you for taking care of me love Ellie and tortilla thank you for watching if you haven't subscribed yet please do so and hit the notification Bell to stay updated with more shocking real life stories happening around you