you want us to find what exactly Captain zixa clicked her mandibles in disbelief her iridescent Wings twitching with barely contained Amusement Admiral ventor's hologram flickered as he repeated himself with the kind of patience reserved for explaining things to particularly dense larvi a human we need you to locate and retrieve a human the bridge of the Scout ship Stellar Seeker fell silent as the six member crew exchanged glances first officer Carell finally broke the silence his anten ey curling in confusion Sir with all due respect humans are myths stories told to scare young ones about the
Great War they're not real that's precisely what the Consortium wants everyone to believe Admiral venor replied his compound eyes glowing with intensity but our intelligence suggests otherwise the legends about their capabilities weren't exaggerated they were understated Captain zix's Wings buzzed softly a habit she'd never managed to break when deep in thought let me get this straight you want us to find a M of a supposedly extinct species that according to Legend once made the mighty Dorian Empire Surrender by showing them something called cat videos and supposedly defeated the hivemind collective by introducing them to something
called social media added Communications officer merera her crystallin form shimmering with Amusement the Admiral's hologram shifted uncomfortably those particular stories are unconfirmed but what we do know is that humans possessed capabilities that no other species has managed to replicate they called it creativity the ability to imagine things that don't exist and then make them real that's impossible security Chief Rex growled his scales Rippling with skepticism you can't make something from nothing and yet the Admiral continued historical records show they did exactly that they turned their ridiculous imaginations into reality so frequently that they had a
saying science fiction becomes science fact before they vanished they had mastered technologies that we still can't comprehend like what Navigator Plex chirped their gelatinous form wobbling with curiosity like their most devastating weapon something they called memes the bridge erupted in laughter quickly stifled when the Admiral's expression didn't change you're serious Captain zixa realized her wings falling still deadly serious the Consortium is on the move their bio-engineered armies are pushing through the outer rim and our Conventional Weapons are barely slowing them down we need something they won't expect something they can't predict or counter we need
a human engineering officer Lux finished their mechanical components worring thoughtfully exactly and our deep space probes have detected unusual energy signatures from a supposedly uninhabited planet in the Orion spur energy signatures that match ancient records of human technology Captain ziga's mandibles clicked rapidly as she processed this information this is insane even if humans did exist even if we find one what makes you think they'd help us the Admiral's hologram smiled or at least performed the closest approximation possible with his insectoid features because according to every historical record we have there was one thing humans loved
more than anything else a good Underdog Story and right now we're definitely The Underdogs cordinates received Navigator Plex announced their translucent body pulsing with the new data this mission is strictly need to know the Admiral added the Consortium has spies everywhere if they learn what we're doing they'll either try to stop us or find a human first Carell nodded understood sir good hunting the Admiral said and his hologram winked out Captain zixa turned to her crew each member representing a different species each considered among the best in their respective Fields well she said who wants
to go hunt for mythology the journey to the coordinates took three standard weeks during which the crew spent countless hours reviewing what little reliable information existed about humans the problem was separating fact from fiction the stories had become so muddled over the centuries that it was impossible to tell which were real and which were Pure Fantasy so they could supposedly survive ingesting poison for pleasure merera asked during one of their daily briefings her crystalline structure tinting blue with confusion apparently Carell replied scanning through ancient data files they called it alcohol and coffee and consumed them
regularly despite documented negative effects that's nothing Rex rumbled according to this they would voluntarily exposed themselves to dangerous levels of UV radiation to change the color of their outer layer they called it tanning either they were completely insane Lux observed or these records are deeply flawed both can be true Captain zixa pointed out the real question is if we do find one how do we convince it to help us a according to these records Navigator Plex bubbled humans were highly susceptible to something called pizza and dogs perhaps we could synthesize these substances we don't even
know what they look like Meera pointed out the descriptions vary wildly some say they were tall others short some say they had fur others say they were mostly hairless the only consistent detail is that they walked on two legs and had forward-facing eyes like the prodax Rex asked no apparently they had external ears and something called a nose in the middle of their face that's horrifying Carell muttered Focus Captain zexa interrupted we're approaching the coordinates Plex what are we looking at the Navigator's gelatinous form rippled as they analyzed the sensor data small terrestrial planet nitrogen
oxygen atmosphere liquid water moderate temperatures it could support human life assuming the records about their environmental needs are accurate life signs inconclusive there significant interference from the planet's unusual magnetic field we'll need to get closer for detailed scans careful Rex warned if humans were real and if they were as advanced as the stories say they probably had defensive systems as if on Q the ship's sensors began picking up an unusual signal Captain Mera called out her crystallin form flickering with excitement I'm receiving a transmission it's well you should hear this a strange sound filled the
bridge a rhythmic pattern that none of their Universal translators could decode what is that Carell asked his antenna twitching in confusion according to the archaeological database merera replied it matches patterns identified as something called Rick asley never going to give you up Captain ziga's mandibles clicked rapidly is it a weapon no Lux answered their mechanical components worrying as they analyze the signal if these records are correct it's something far worse it's what humans called a meme the crew fell silent as the implications sank in we found them Captain zixa whispered we've actually found them The
Descent to the planet's surface was nerve-wracking every few minutes their systems would be flooded with more strange Transmissions something called nian cat fragments of Doge and an endless stream of something identified as lol cats it's psychological warfare Rex declared his scales changing color with stress they're trying to break our our minds before we even land stay focused Captain zixa ordered though her wings hadn't stopped buzzing since the Transmissions began Plex find us a landing Zone Lux keep our Shields at maximum we don't know what other surprises they might have they touched down in a clearing
surrounded by vegetation initial scans showed the atmosphere was breathable for most of the crew though Mera would need to stay in her crystalline environment suit preliminary analysis suggests this was once a significant population Center Lux reported as they studied the sensor readings but most structures are now hidden beneath centuries of organic growth spread out Captain zixa ordered as they disembarked look for any signs of Active technology or recent habitation and stay in communication range we don't want to she trailed off as music suddenly filled the air not transmitted this time but actually playing from somewhere
nearby is that Allstar by Smashmouth Mera asked Consulting her cultural database before anyone could respond a voice spoke from the undergrowth a voice unlike any they'd heard before you know it said usually when aliens show up they start with take me to your leader or we come in peace but you folks just came right out with Never Going To Give You Up I appreciate that level of commitment to the classics the vegetation parted and there stood a creature that matched just enough of their conflicting historical records to be unmistakable a human it was shorter than
expected with gray streak hair and laugh lines around its eyes it wore what appeared to be a t-shirt with an incomprehensible message 404 sleep not found hi it said grinning in a way that showed its flat teeth I'm Alex last human in the Galaxy as far as I know and you look like you're either really lost or really desperate given the state of things out there I'm guessing desperate Captain zexa stepped forward trying to remember the proper human greeting protocols from their research she started to extend her upper right appendage then remembered humans only had
two arms total and quickly adjusted I am captain zixa of the Scout ship Stellar Seeker we represent the alliance of free worlds and we've come seeking well you neat Alex said then pointed at mea you're crystallin silicon based right must be murder on your structure in this humidity come on my climate control still works we can talk inside where everyone's comfortable the human LED them to what appeared to be an ordinary Hill but turned out to be an entrance to an underground facility the doors opened with a hiss of perfectly maintained Hydraulics welcome to the
last meme archive Alex announced as they entered a vast chamber filled with humming machinery and glowing displays or as I like to call it Humanity's greatest hits you've been here all this time Carell asked his antenna twitching with scientific curiosity how are you still you know alive suspended animation mostly wake up every few decades to check on things up update the systems make sure the important stuff is preserved you know cat videos reaction gifts the complete history of Reddit the weapons Rex interrupted we need the weapons Alex's expression shifted becoming more serious ah let me
guess the consortium's on the move again you know about the Consortium Captain zix's Wings buzzed with surprise kid I was there when they first showed up real pieces of work all about perfect order and biological optimization they tried to optimize earth once didn't go well for them what happened Mera asked her crystalline form shimmering with curiosity Alex grinned again but this time there was something sharp about it we showed them pictures of baby animals until their Collective Consciousness had an existential crisis turns out when your whole society is based on cold efficient logic exposure to
Pure weaponized cuteness can really mess you up that's that's impossible Lux stated their mechanical components were ing in disbelief that's Humanity Alex corrected we specialized in impossible we turned jokes into weapons dreams into reality and sheer stubborn absurdity into our greatest defense mechanism they paused looking at each crew member in turn but from the looks of things you already knew that that's why you're here isn't it Captain zixa nodded the Consortium has developed new bioengineered armies our Conventional Weapons barely slow them down we need something they won't won't expect something they can't predict or counter
Alex finished because you can't predict what doesn't make sense and nothing makes less sense than human Warfare they walked to a central console and began typing the question is are you ready for what that means because human weapons aren't like anything you're used to they don't just destroy they transform we're ready Captain zixa declared though her wings betrayed her nervousness no you're not Alex said kindly but that's okay neither was humanity and we did just fine well right up until we accidentally MD ourselves into a higher plane of existence bit of a design flaw there
to be honest you what Carell's antenna went completely straight with shock long story the point is I can help you but you need to understand these weapons will change everything not just the war but the way your people think the way they see the universe are you sure that's what you want the crew looked at each other then at their Captain zix's mandibles clicked as she considered everything they'd learned about humans everything they'd seen in just these few minutes we don't have a choice she said finally the Consortium will destroy everything we are if we
don't stop them Alex's expression softened see that right there that's exactly the kind of thing that always got Humanity involved in fights we probably should have avoided I like it they turned back to the console all right then let's start with the basics who wants to learn about something called Rick Rolling What followed was the strangest training session in the history of the alliance Alex taught them about memes yes but also about things called Dad jokes and puns weapons so powerful they could cause physical reactions in their targets they learned about viral marketing and social
media challenges techniques for spreading ideas faster than any plague but most importantly they learned about the human concept of genres the ability to take any situation and reframe it in an entirely different context the Consortium sees everything as a problem of optimization Alex explained but humans we can turn anything into a comedy a drama a romance or better yet all three at once they can't optimize what they can't categorize after 3 days of intensive training Alex made a decision I'm coming with you what Captain zix's Wings buzzed with surprise but you're the last human if
something happens then the universe loses its last meme archist big deal besides Alex grinned I've been waiting centuries for a chance to show these Consortium folks what Humanity can really do and I've had a lot of time to come up with new material the return Journey was spent preparing their unconventional Arsenal Alex worked with each crew member teaching them to understand and deploy human weapons in ways that suited their natural abilities Mera with her crystallin form's natural ability to refract light became an expert in something called reaction G gifs turning her entire body into a
living meme display that could broadcast human Concepts directly into Consortium forces Rax initially the most skeptical discovered a talent for dead pan delivery that made his security reports into devastating Weapons of Mass confusion even Lux whose mechanical nature had seemed at odds with human illogic learned to incorporate random humor into their engineering Solutions creating systems that worked perfectly while making absolutely no sense to enemy analysts finally they received word that the Consortium Fleet had been detected heading toward the alliance's core worlds it was time to put their training to the test the battle that followed
would be remembered for centuries though no two accounts would ever quite agree on what actually happened some say the consortium's bioengineered soldiers began dancing uncontrollably when exposed to something called caramel Danson others swear they saw entire ships power down after their AI was introduced to cat logic but everyone agrees on what happened when Alex finally Unleashed their secret weapon a concentrated burst of pure human Essence transmitted directly into the consortium's command Network it was everything at once every meme every joke every piece of absurd human wisdom compressed into a single package that The consortium's Logical
systems couldn't possibly process the result was spectacular ship after ship began broadcasting nothing but something called Keyboard Cat the bioengineered armies stopped in their tracks overwhelmed by existential questions sparked by philosophy Raptor and the the consortium's central command structure faced with the ultimate human question but why the result was spectacular ship after ship began broadcasting nothing but something called Keyboard Cat the bio-engineered armies stopped in their tracks overwhelmed by existential questions sparked by philosophy Raptor and the consortium's central command structure faced with the ultimate human question but why though experienced what Alex cheerfully described as
a total system reboot the that's it Captain zixa asked her wings buzzing with disbelief as they watched The Mighty Consortium Fleet drift aimlessly through space we won oh no Alex replied still typing furiously at their console this is just phase one you see the thing about human weapons is that they don't just destroy they convert watch this with a flourish Alex activated what they called protocol wholesome a carefully curated collection of what they insisted were the best parts of human culture the effect was immediate and astonishing the Consortium ship's external displays previously showing only Stark
geometric patterns began displaying pictures of small furry Earth creatures with captions like you're doing great and hang in there what's happening to them Carell asked his antenni curling in Fascination they're experiencing emotions Alex explained with evident satisfaction the Consortium tried to engineer them out but you can't optimize away feelings not really they're just dormant with waiting for the right trigger and nothing triggers emotions like cats and silly hats over the next few hours they watched in amazement as the Consortium forces underwent a transformation the bio-engineered soldiers began showing signs of individual personality the ship's AI
started making jokes terrible ones at first but they were trying even the central command structure was changing its previously rigid protocols dissolving into something more flexible more human I don't understand Rex rumbled his scales shifting in confusion why aren't they fighting back because we didn't attack them we connected with them Meera realized her crystallin form glowing with comprehension all this time we thought human weapons were about destruction but they're really about communication Alex finished the most powerful Human Weapon was never our technology or our creativity it was our ability to share to take our experiences
our feelings our ridiculous jokes and spread them Across the Universe to make others feel what we felt but won't the Consortium just revert to their old ways once the effect wears off Captain zixa asked Alex laughed Captain let me tell you about something humans called viral content once it gets into a system there's no getting it out the Consortium can try to purge these emotions and ideas but they'll keep popping back up like cat videos in your recommended feed the aftermath of what would become known as the great meme war was beyond anything the alliance
had expected the consorti didn't just Retreat it transformed within weeks their formerly uniform ships began showing signs of individualization some displayed what Alex called bumper stickers others began broadcasting their own attempts at human style humor into space the bio-engineered armies freed from their rigid programming developed distinct cultures based on different aspects of human media they'd been exposed to one group became obsessed with something called DIY projects constantly modifying their forms in increasingly creative ways another dedicated themselves to collecting and sharing cute animal facts even the consortium's leadership underwent a radical change their first official communication
to the alliance after the battle was a formal surrender document followed by what Alex identified as a wholesome meme about friendship I still can't believe it worked Captain zixa said during their Victory celebration we defeated the most powerful military force in known space with jokes not just jokes Alex corrected sipping something they called an energy drink a human concoction that made the entire crew nervous we defeated them with Humanity all of it the good the bad the silly the profound we showed them that there's more to existence than optimization and control and what happens now
Carell asked what do we do with all this human knowledge Alex's eyes twinkled with Mischief now now we get to the really fun part you see I didn't just wake up to save the Galaxy I woke up because it was finally time to start phase two of operation human it reboot the crew exchanged nervous glances what's Phase 2 Rex asked though his tone suggested he wasn't sure he wanted to know well Alex said pulling up a series of complex diagrams on their console remember how I mentioned that Humanity accidentally Meed itself into a higher plane
of existence turns out we left behind instructions for how to get back kind of like a cosmic forwarding address and now that we've got the Consortium on board with the whole emotions and creativity thing you want to bring Humanity back Captain ziga's Wings buzzed so rapidly they became almost invisible not exactly more like create Humanity 2.0 a combination of all the best parts of human culture with everything we've learned from the species we've met since then think about it your alliance already proved that different species can work together the Consortium just proved that even the
most rigid systems can learn to embrace chaos what if we took that potential and combined it with the full power of human memes that sounds Mera paused her crystallin form shifting through several colors as she searched for the right word beautiful terrifying both exactly Alex beamed that's the most human response you could have possibly had you're all learning so fast now who wants to help me teach the Galaxy about something called interpretive dance as the crew looked at each other then at their grinning human friend they realized that defeating the Consortium hadn't been the end
of their Journey it had been just the beginning the universe was about to become a much stranger much more interesting place and somewhere in a higher plane of existence the rest of humanity was probably watching and giving them all a thumbs up or possibly posting the whole thing on Space Reddit with humans it was usually both interpretive dance was just the beginning Alex announced during the emergency Alliance council meeting standing before representatives of over 300 species what you have to understand about Humanity's Ascension is that it wasn't an accident it was an inevitability Captain zixa
watched from her position near the podium her wings occasionally twitching as she observed the reactions of the assembled delegates in the 3 months since the defeat of the Consortium the Galaxy had changed more than it had in the previous Millennium the massive holographic displays surrounding the council chamber showed real-time updates from across known space former Consortium worlds hosting what they now called meme festivals trade routes being redrawn to accommodate the sudden demand for vintage Earth culture and most surprisingly the emergence of new forms of art that combined alien perspectives with human Concepts the thing about
human consciousness Alex continued pacing with the same Restless energy that seemed to characterize their entire species is that it was never meant to be contained by conventional three-dimensional space we were always pushing boundaries always looking for the next level we didn't accidentally meme ourselves into a higher plane we Meed ourselves into exactly where we were we trying to go and you believe we can follow ask the quantum collective's representative their probability field fluctuating with skepticism better than that Alex grinned we can go further Humanity had to figure everything out from scratch but you you've got
guides you've got experience you've got they paused for dramatic effect cat videos a ripple of mixed amusement and confusion passed through the chamber Carell standing at his post near the security entrance allowed his antenni to curl in what had become his equivalent of an eye roll what our human friend is trying to explain Captain zixa interjected stepping forward is that we have an unprecedented opportunity the consortium's transformation proved that Consciousness itself is more malleable than we thought their bioengineered soldiers didn't just develop individuality they developed new forms of Consciousness that combined human concepts with their
own unique perspectives exactly Alex pointed enthusiastically and that's just the beginning show them the thing Mera Communications officer merera stepped into the center of the chamber her crystalin form beginning to pulse with complex patterns of light What followed was impossible to describe in conventional terms a demonstration of mimetic communication that combined Crystal resonance quantum entanglement and what Alex insisted on calling big chungus energy the effect on the council was immediate species that had evolved in complete isolation from each other suddenly found thems eles sharing Concepts that their languages had never been equipped to express philosophers
who had debated the nature of Consciousness for centuries were simultaneously struck by new insights that bridge their theoretical gaps this is what Humanity discovered Alex explained as the chamber erupted an excited discussion Consciousness isn't just about thinking it's about sharing thoughts it's about taking an idea and making it more than the sum of its parts it's about they grinned going viral on a cosmic scale but what about the risks demanded the representative of the Silicon consensus their Quantum processors humming with concern the last time Consciousness evolved on this scale an entire species vanished into another
dimension ah but that's the best part Alex's excitement was practically tangible we didn't vanish we expanded and we left breadcrumbs really obvious ones actually like we basically wrote this way to Transcendence in Cosmic meme format we just had to wait until the rest of the Galaxy was ready to understand the joke security Chief Rex who had been quietly monitoring the chamber's security feeds suddenly straightened alert he rumbled his scales shifting to warning colors we detecting unusual energy patterns throughout the chamber oh that's not a problem Alex waved dismissively that's just the first wave of mimetic
resonance hitting critical mass right on schedule actually Humanity's been waiting a long time for this moment waiting for what Captain zixa asked though part of her felt she already knew the answer for the Galaxy to get the punchline Alex replied as reality itself began to Ripple around them you see the real joke is that there was never any separation between Dimensions it's all one big what's the word I'm looking for Mimi offered Carell Universe suggested mea post Alex said with profound Satisfaction Just as the fabric of conventional SpaceTime began to fold in ways that would
have given traditional physicists severe headaches existence itself is one giant Cosmic post and once you understand that the transformation that followed defied conventional description the council chamber the representatives even the concepts of space and time themselves seem to flex and reshape themselves around a new understanding of reality one that somehow made both more and less sense than before through it all Alex stood in the center of the chamber looking for all the world like someone watching their favorite Hollow vid series reach its climactic moment oh they added casually I should probably mention that this is
also phase 3 did I not mention there was a phase 3 my bad what exactly is phase three Captain zeka managed to ask even as her Consciousness expanded to Encompass Concepts that her species had never evolved to comprehend phase 3 is where it gets really interesting Alex replied their form beginning to shift into something more conceptual phase three is where we all become part of the biggest crossover episode in Universal history as the boundaries between conventional reality and whatever lay Beyond began to blur the last thing anyone heard in traditional SpaceTime was Alex's voice somehow
both fading and becoming more present and trust me the memes where we're going they're going to be legendary the universe held its breath smiled and hit share Beyond conventional reality the transition was both instantaneous and eternal as the universe reconstructed itself around its Newfound understanding of existence as a cosmic social media platform the crew of the Stellar Seeker found themselves experiencing reality in ways that defied their previous Notions of Consciousness welcome to what we like to call postphysical Twitter Alex's voice echoed through Dimensions that hadn't existed moments before their form had become something akin to
a living meme shifting between different manifestations of human cultural touchstones Captain zixa who was simultaneously present as her original insectoid Self and as a complex network of interconnected Concepts attempted to process their new existence this is overwhelming she managed to communicate her thoughts manifesting as a mixture of traditional language and pure mimetic energy oh this is nothing Alex responded their presence Rippling through the conceptual space wait until you discover what we did with interpretive dance up here turns out when you're not limited by physical forms choreography gets really interesting the former Council chamber had become
a Nexus point where multiple layers of reality intersected the assembled Representatives found themselves experiencing existence as both individuals and as part of a vast interconnected network of shared Consciousness something Alex referred to as Cosmic Reddit Carell his scientific curiosity overwhelming his initial disorientation was already analyzing their new state of being the mathematical implications are fascinating he communicated his thoughts forming complex patterns in the conceptual space where simultaneously wave functions particle states and are those cat pictures Schrodinger's Cat memes Alex corrected cheerfully they're both funny and not funny Until You observe them really helps with Quantum
comprehension up here mea's crystalline Consciousness had adapted particularly well to the transition her natural ability to refract and transmit information had evolved into something new she had become a living interface between conventional space time and what Alex called the spiciest parts of the Multiverse I can see everything she broadcasted her thoughts cascading through multiple Dimensions all possible memes all possible realities all simultaneously existing in a state of infinite scrolling Alex finished pretty cool right but watch this hey everyone remember when I said phase 3 was going to be interesting that wasn't even our final form
the conceptual space shifted again and suddenly they were aware of another presence or rather many presences the rest of humanity it seemed had been waiting for this moment they manifested not as physical forms but as a vast network of cultural references inside jokes and shared experiences all somehow combining to create something greater than the sum of their parts it was like watching the entire history of human creativity unfold simultaneously across infinite Dimensions ladies gentlemen and beings of all other configurations Alex announced with evident Pride meet the rest of the family we've been working on something
special while we waited for the Galaxy to catch up what followed was was impossible to describe in conventional terms the collected consciousness of humanity began to share their experiences their discoveries their entire understanding of existence not through words or images but through pure undiluted memes that somehow contained the fundamental truths of the universe you see Alex explained as reality continued to reconstruct itself around them when we first ascended we thought we'd reached the peak of evolution but then we realized what if we could combine the fundamental forces of the universe with the raw power of
human creativity what if we could turn existence itself into the ultimate collaborative art project Captain zixa beginning to grasp the implications felt her Consciousness expand even further you mean all of this the Consortium the mimetic Warfare the transformation of the Galaxy it was all just preparation more like beta testing Alex replied we needed to make sure the Galaxy was ready for the full release and now that that you all understand the basic principles of mimetic evolution the universe shuddered rippled and suddenly they were aware of something new emerging from the quantum foam of reality something
that combined The Logical Precision of the Consortium the diverse perspectives of the alliance and the pure chaotic creativity of humanity into something entirely unprecedented we call it reality 2.0 Alex said proudly a complete reimagining of existence with full mod support and cross-platform compatibility and and the best part everyone gets to be a content creator as the implications of this statement rippled through the assembled consciousnesses they began to understand what Humanity had really been working on during their apparent absence they hadn't just ascended to a higher plane of existence they had been building a new framework
for reality itself one that would allow every species to contribute to the ongoing evolution of the universe so Alex asked their presence flickering through an infinite array of meme formats who wants to help us work up some new laws of physics the current ones are getting a bit stale and we've got some really interesting ideas involving cats and quantum entanglement
