you want to know why we keep a human on our crew Captain zix clicked his mandibles in what passed for amusement among the arthropodan sit down grab a drink and I'll tell you about Sarah Chen best damn engineer this side of the Karina arm and the reason we're all still breathing the reporter a young Meridian with too many eyes and not enough experience adjusted their recording apparatus and settled into what humans would probably call a slouch if humans could bend their spines in 17 different directions see about three Cycles ago we were running cargo through
the derelict Zone yeah that derelict Zone the one where the precursors left all their broken toys floating around like Cosmic building blocks most Crews avoid it like radiation sickness but the pay for Salvage runs let's just say it makes the risk worthwhile usually zix took a long pull from his fermented nectar membrane covered eyes going distant with memory we had a solid crew best in the business me first officer creal she's selenite you know how they are with calculations basically living quantum computers our security Chief decks from the canid Confederation and about 15 others but
Sarah she was special still is the captain's mandibles clicked again this time in what might have been Pride first time I interviewed her for the position I thought she was crazy here's this tiny human barely reaching my thorax telling me me she could optimize our engines Beyond manufacturer specs and promising she'd be worth triple her salary in saved maintenance costs the crazy part she was underselling herself the reporter's recording device hummed softly as it captured every word one of their eyes swiveled toward the device to check the power level while the others remained fixed on
the captain but I'm getting ahead of myself you wanted to know why we keep her around why pretty much every serious Long Haul crew has at least one human these days well it started with that Salvage run we'd picked up some interesting readings from an old precursor station the kind of readings that Mak Salvage operators drool and safety inspectors have nightmares the bridge of the star scavenger was unusually quiet as they approached the derik station the massive structure hung in space like a forgotten child's toy its once gleaming surface now pitted and scarred by Millennia
of cosmic radiation and micrometeorite impacts that's big Sarah commented stating the obvious in that peculiarly human way that somehow made everyone else notice details they'd missed and if I'm reading these energy signatures right something in there is still running Cal's crystalin form shered as she processed the sensor data impossible the station has been abandoned for at least 50,000 years no power source could yeah yeah no power source could last that long Sarah interrupted waving her hand dismissively except precursor Tech doesn't play by our rules does it look at these harmonic patterns in the radiation signature
that's not decay that's a functional system in low power mode the human moved closer to the main viewport her reflection barely visible against the backdrop of stars and ancient metal Captain we need to check this out whatever's generating that signal it's not just valuable it's revolutionary I should have known right then we were in for trouble humans have this thing about them this inability to leave Mysteries alone most species evolved with healthy fear responses see something dangerous stay away humans they see something dangerous and start making lists of ways to poke it prep the shuttle
I ordered trying to ignore the way Sarah's face lit up with that terrifying human expression they call a grin standard Salvage team Sarah cral Dex and myself full containment gear weapons hot the shuttle ride was tense even Dex usually the most talkative of our crew kept his muzzle shut as we approached the station's main docking array the massive doors were partially open Frozen in Eternal welcome like the maw of some ancient space ing Predator well that's not ominous at all Sarah muttered as she guided our shuttle through the Gap anyone else getting serious horror vid
Vibes or is that just me horror vid Cal's crystalline form pulsed with confusion human entertainment where people make obviously poor life choices for the audience's amusement Dex explained his tail swishing nervously like oh I don't know docking with an ancient alien station giving off impossible energy readings Sarah snorted please in a proper horror vid at least one of us would be sneaking off to mate right now that's disgusting Cal declared this is a professional Salvage operation exactly why we'll probably survive Sarah agreed cheerfully genre awareness is key The shuttle's Landing was smoother than it had
any right to be given the state of the Docking Bay Sarah had a away with machines that bordered on the supernatural something I'd noticed all humans shared to some degree where other species saw machines as tools to be used according to strict protocols humans treated them like temperamental pets that could be coaxed and sweet talked into cooperation the station's artificial gravity was still functioning which should have been our first warning the second warning came when our atmospheric sensors showed breathable air despite 50 Millennia of Abandonment but we were professionals and more importantly we were greedy
the potential value of a working precursor power source was enough to make us ignore our better judgment structures Sound Sarah reported checking her handheld scanner as we mov through the corridors Air's clean really clean actually like suspiciously clean and these readings are getting stronger whatever still running in here it's big Cal's crystallin body was vibrating slightly her species equivalent of nervous fidgeting the architecture is unlike any other precursor station I've studied these curves these patterns they're wrong somehow wrong how I asked my mandibles tightening with concern like they were designed by something that didn't think
in three dimensions she replied or perhaps something that thought in too many dimensions oh good non- ukian architecture that's definitely not a bad sign Sarah muttered Dex you're being awfully quiet the canids ears were flat against his skull something here smells wrong not dangerous exactly but wrong like he struggled for a moment trying to find the words like the smell of a thunderstorm before it hits but sideways sideways Thunder great this just keeps getting better Sarah checked her scanner again power source should be just ahead large chamber lots of active systems anyone want to place
bets on whether we find an ancient evil waiting to be awakened your species obsession with fictional disaster scenarios is not helpful creal chimed in her crystalline form pulsing with irritation no but it is therapeutic Sarah replied besides gaming out worst case scenarios is a valid survival strategy speak speaking of which she pulled a small device from her pocket and tossed it to me emergency Beacon just in case designed it myself works on quantum entanglement principles no signal to block no battery to die if everything goes sideways crush it in your mandibles it'll alert the ship
I caught the device noting how it seemed to hum slightly in my grip you just happen to have this ready I'm a human on a salvage crew Captain I always have a backup plan usually several usually involving explosions the chamber ahead of us was vast easily large enough to house a small ship and at its Center suspended in a web of what looked like solid light was something oh Sarah breathed her eyes wide oh that's beautiful and impossible and probably going to kill us all the object if you could call it that seemed to shift
and change every time you looked at it directly it was roughly spherical but the surface moved like liquid metal patterns flowing across it in ways that hurt the eyes to follow arcs of energy between it and the light web holding it in place Cal's entire form had gone still a sign of intense concentration among her kind the energy readings they're not just power generation this is this is Computing at a Quantum level the entire sphere is a single massive quantum computer still running after all this time running what Dex asked his tail now completely still
never a good sign from a canid that's the real question isn't it Sarah was already moving toward one of the control panels that ringed the chamber let's find out carefully I ordered no touching anything without the entire station shuddered I didn't touch anything Sarah protested immediately that wasn't me the sphere in the center of the chamber began to pulse with increasing intensity the web of light holding it began to Flicker and distort Cal I barked energy levels are spiking the containment field is destabilizing if it fails she didn't need to finish the sentence we all
knew what enough uncontrolled Quantum reaction could do options I demanded working on it Sarah was already elbow deep in an access panel she'd somehow opened the system's failing because it's trying to maintain Quantum coherence across too large a volume if we can partition the processing load maybe another Tremor shook the station stronger this time warning lights we hadn't even known existed began flashing along the walls we need to leave Dex growled now no time Sarah shot back that containment field fails the reaction will take out half this sector we need to stabilize it first her
hands were flying over the ancient controls somehow making sense of interfaces designed by Minds utterly alien to our own how are you even reading that Cal demanded I'm not but quantum mechanics is quantum mechanics even if you're a possibly insane precursor civilization the math is universal Sarah's voice had taken on that particular tone humans get when they're simultaneously terrified and excited creal I need your pro processing power link up with this terminal and help me calculate the partition boundaries the selenite hesitated for only a moment before pressing her crystallin form against the console her surface
began to Ripple as she interfaced with the ancient system Dex Sarah continued not looking up from her work I need you to get to the other side of the chamber and find the emergency cooling controls they'll be marked with whatever the precursor equivalent of blue is in the ultraviolet Spectrum how do you know that because Engineers are Engineers no matter what species they are and nobody changes the color coding for emergency systems unless they want people to die Sarah snapped Captain remember that Beacon I gave you get ready to use it if this doesn't work
another Tremor strong enough to knock me off my feet the sphere was now a blur of motion its surface roing like a sun in miniature Sarah I started little busy saving our lives here Captain her hands never stopped moving caraval you got those calculations the mathematics are impossible the number of variables doesn't matter we just need to be close enough physics is forgiving if you ask nicely Dex found the controls the Cid's voice came from across the chamber at least I think I did good when I give the signal pull everything marked with not blue
Captain if this doesn't work Crush that Beacon and run like hell the sphere was now painful to look at directly its surface moving in ways that suggested it was trying to occupies several Dimensions at once Sarah Cal's voice had taken on an odd harmonic the containment field is at critical we have perhaps 30 seconds that's plenty of time Sarah laughed actually laughed you know what humans are really good at Captain besides surviving things we shouldn't what I managed to ask we're really good at taking complex problems and finding stupid Simple Solutions like this decks now
the canid pulled the controls the chamber was suddenly filled with a fine Mist some kind of coolant system that had somehow survived 50,000 years creal partition now Captain might want to close your eyes I did even through closed eyes I saw the flash even through my sealed environment suit I felt the wave of something wash over us then silence I opened my eyes slowly expecting well I'm not sure what I was expecting death probably instead I saw the sphere now floating serenely in its containment field its surface moving in gentle regular patterns ha Sarah's voice
was slightly hysterical that worked I mean of course it worked I totally knew it would work what Cal's voice was shaky what did you do oh you know Sarah was grinning again that terrifying human expression that usually meant she'd done something brilliant and probably impossible just partitioned a quantum computer the size of a small ship into manageable chunks used emergency coolant to help maintain coherence during the transition and basically Bally did the equivalent of turning it off and on again you know standard engineering stuff standard Cal's form flickered in disbelief Sarah what you just did
violated at least three laws of physics did it Sarah looked genuinely surprised huh I'll have to write a paper or something after we figure out what this thing actually is and hopefully get rich from it the captain paused in his story to order another drink the reporter's recording device hummed patiently so that's why you keep her on your crew they asked because she can solve impossible problems zix clicked his mandibles in what might have been laughter no no that's just the start of the story see after we stabilized the quantum core we found out what
it actually was turned out the precursors had built a predictive model of the entire galaxy every Star every planet every possible interaction all running in real time or it was until it started to fail Sarah's stupid Simple Solution didn't just save our lives it saved the most valuable piece of precursor Tech ever discovered and now now the captain gestured around the busy Spaceport bar now every major research institution in known space has access to a partition of that Quantum core thanks to Sarah's Brilliance the predictions it makes have revolutionized everything from trade routes to terraform
planning and Sarah she owns about 15% of the patents on the stabilization technology she could retire tomorrow and live like royalty for the rest of her life but she doesn't of course not she's human they don't know how to stop he finished his drink you want to know why we keep a human on our crew because humans look at the impossible and see a challenge they look at certain death and see an interesting problem to solve they take the most advanced technology ever discovered and fix it with the equivalent of percussive Maintenance and a reboot
the captain leaned forward all four eyes fixed on the reporter but most importantly we keep keep them around because they make the impossible seem normal after that incident Sarah went right back to work next week she rebuilt our entire engine assembly using Parts she scavenged from the station improved our efficiency by 300% the week after that she figured out how to use the quantum core's predictions to plot safer routes through the derel Zone she treats Galaxy changing discoveries like just another day at work and that's good that's essential zix's mandibles clicked decisively in this business
you need someone who can look at certain death and say I can work with this someone who treats the impossible as merely improbable and the improbable as an interesting challenge someone who carries backup plans for their backup plans usually involving explosions in short you need a human the captain stood his full height impressive even in the high ceilinged bar now if you'll excuse me I need to get back to my ship Sarah's installing some modifications to our Shield generators that she swears will let us dive into gas giants safely she's probably right but I like
to be there just in case we need to evacuate one last question the reporter called after him you said earlier that Sarah was special special how zix paused at the door special oh no you misund understand Sarah's completely average as humans go that's what makes them so terrifying and so essential his mandibles clicked in Amusement one final time talk to any crew that works the dangerous routes they'll all tell you the same thing if you want to survive the impossible if you want to survive the impossible keep a human around because sooner or later you're
going to run into something that can't be solved with conventional thinking and when that happens you want someone whose species turned finding ridiculous solutions to certain death scenarios into an evolutionary strategy the captain had barely finished speaking when his Communicator chimed he checked it and made a sound that might have been a sigh Sarah the reporter guessed Sarah zix conf confirmed apparently she's found a way to and I quote boost our sensor range by about 500% using some interesting Quantum principles and a broken coffee maker I should probably get back before she accidentally invents a
new form of physics again again but the captain was already gone leaving the reporter with their recording device and a half empty bar they sat there for a long moment multiple eyes blinking in sequence as they processed everything they'd heard finally they spoke to their recording device note to self follow-up story idea why human Engineers should be classified as Weapons of Mass construction Sarah Chen was exactly where zix expected to find her hanging upside down from a maintenance scaffold in the engine room surrounded by a cloud of holographic diagrams and what appeared to be the
dismembered remains of several major ship systems please tell me that's not our main power coupling the captain said by way of greeting of course not Sarah replied without looking up that's our backup up power coupling the main one is she waved vaguely at a pile of components that might once have been crucial to the ship's operation somewhere in there don't worry I'll have it all back together before we need it and when will we need it oh about 20 minutes ago now she did look up flashing that characteristic human grin but I've got us running
on the quantum core tap I installed last week we're actually getting better power efficiency this way which is good because wait until you see what I've done with the sensor array zix tall felt his mandibles twitch Sarah what have we discussed about making major modifications to critical systems without consulting me first that I should do it when you're not around to worry about it she dropped from the scaffold Landing with the Casual Grace that still surprised him coming from a species that evolved on a high-gravity world look I know it seems crazy everything you do
seems crazy but I've run all the simulations I even had creal check my math this modification will let us detect Quantum wake signatures from ships up to three parex away do you know what this means for Salvage operations I assume you're about to tell me it means we can spot active Quantum cores before anyone else like that precursor station we could have detected it from the other side of the sector no more stumbling around in the dark no more competing with other Salvage Crews we'll have first pick of every major find in the derelict Zone
the captain looked at the dismantled systems then at his engineers's enthusiastic face then back at the systems and you're sure this will work absolutely well 95% sure okay 85% but the quantum core predictions give it a 93.7% chance of success and you know how conservative those estimates are and the coffee maker oh that's just for the interface calibration turns out the heating element resonates at exactly the right frequency too you know what probably better if I don't explain that part Plus posible deniability and all that zix made a mental note to update the ship's insurance
policy again how long until we're back on main power give me an hour two tops unless you want me to install the new Shield modifications at the same time I've got this great idea about using quantum entanglement to one modification at a time Sarah let's make sure we can detect Salvage before we start diving into gas giants to retrieve it spoil sport but she was already turning back to her work hands moving with the sure confidence that came from understanding machines on what sometimes seemed like a spiritual level oh by the way I think I
figured out why the precursors abandoned that station the captain felt his dorsal plates stiffen oh yeah based on the data patterns in the quantum core they didn't abandon it at all they evolved beyond the need for physical form and uploaded their Consciousness into the computer network the core we found wasn't just a predictive model it was their backup plan a way to preserve their civilization's knowledge until someone came along who could handle it responsibly and you didn't think to mention this earlier Sarah Shrugged already half buried in the power coupling reassembly didn't seem relevant at
the time besides they're not dangerous or anything they actually think we hilarious especially humans they've been watching us solve problems by breaking physics for years apparently the whole Quantum core destabilization thing that was a test they wanted to see how we'd handle it zix felt a headache coming on Sarah are you telling me we have an ancient alien civilization living in our Quantum core more like we have access to their filtered knowledge and predictive capabilities they're not really living in there they exist in a higher dimensional space now the quantum core is just their way
of interacting with our level of reality kind of like you know how we use computer interfaces to interact with simpler systems it's like that but with Dimensions instead of processing power and this doesn't worry you she poked her head out from behind a panel looking genuinely puzzled why would it they're basically just really Advanced tech support now actually they've been helping me with some of my more experimental modifications that's where I got the idea for the sensor array upgrade the captain closed all four eyes and counted to 10 in three different numerical systems when he
opened them again Sarah was back to work humming what he recognized as an old human space Shanty while she reassembled a power system that was now apparently partially designed designed by Transcendent alien beings just another day working with a human engineer Sarah mhm when you're done here we need to have a serious discussion about information sharing protocols sure thing Captain right after I finish implementing the quantum enhanced coffee maker design they shared with me did you know you can use quantum entanglement to ensure perfect coffee temperature across multiple cups the precursors were really serious about
their beverages apparently zix made another mental note to update not just the insurance policy but also his will working with humans was profitable fascinating and occasionally revolutionary but it was never ever boring and he wouldn't have it any other way back in the Spaceport bar the reporter was still working on their story when a group of Salvage crew captains came in all looking slightly shellshocked let me guess the bartender said already reaching for their preferred drinks human engineer the captains nodded in unison what was it this time mine figured out how to use quantum entanglement
to make instant coffee one said mine rewrote our navigation systems to account for 11 Dimensions another added mine just made friends with a posthuman alien civilization a third muttered into their drink the reporter's recording device hummed softly as it captured every word they had a feeling their editor was going to love this story after all everyone knows that the toughest Crews keep a human on board they just don't always understand why until it's too late to worry about it and that the season bartender said to a wide-eyed group of newly graduated Zeno Engineers is why
the galactic safety board had to create an entirely new classification of engineering licenses specifically for humans the bar had gotten busier as the night cycle progressed filling with the usual mix of crew members Traders and the occasional wide-eyed tourist but tonight's crowd had a distinct theme it seemed every other conversation was about human engineers and their latest reality defying achievements I heard one of the young graduates a voltarian with sparking neural tendrils said that they're actually considering making it mandatory to have at least one human engineer on any ship planning to explore Uncharted space something
about ensuring creative problem solving capabilities in unprecedented situations the bartender who had seen enough human Engineers come through to know better made a sound that might have been a laugh creative is one word for it last week I had a human engineer in here explaining to her Captain how she'd modified their ship's waste recycling system to generate exotic matter exotic matter another graduate's photo receptors brightened with interest but that's theoretically impossible without kid let me give you some advice the bartender leaned in all six appendages busy mixing drinks while they spoke the word impossible doesn't
mean much when humans are involved especially their Engineers they treat the laws of physics like guidelines at best and suggestions at worst meanwhile aboard the the star scavenger Sarah Chen was having what she considered a perfectly reasonable discussion with creal about the nature of reality look she said gesturing with a wrench that definitely hadn't been Quantum enhanced probably all I'm saying is that if we look at SpaceTime is more of a suggestion than a rigid framework SpaceTime is not a suggestion Cal's crystallin form was vibrating with What Might Have Been existential distress it is a
fundamental property of our universe sure sure but have you considered that maybe our universe is just really bad at enforcing its own rules I mean quantum mechanics already proves that reality gets weird if you look at it too closely I'm just proposing we exploit that weirdness for faster than light coffee delivery Captain zix who had learned to recognize the warning signs of an impending human induced physics violation chose that moment to intervene Sarah what did we discuss about breaking fundamental forces before breakfast that I should wait until after you've had your morning caffeine she brightened
which is exactly why this FTL coffee system is so important imagine hot fresh coffee instantaneously delivered anywhere in the Galaxy through Quantum tunneling the energy requirements alone would be creal began negligible if we use the quantum core processing power to calculate optimal tunneling points Sarah interrupted I've already got the basic prototype working watch before anyone could stop her not that they could have humans being surprisingly quick when excited about potentially reality breaking experiments she activated a small device on her workbench there was a sound that might have been SpaceTime clearing its throat in embarrassment and
suddenly a steaming cup of coffee appeared on the captain's desk Tada Sarah beamed perfect temperature zero Transit time and I'm pretty sure I only created three small temporal paradoxes in the process don't worry they'll sort themselves out probably Cal's whole form had gone still the crystalline equivalent of a blue screen of death that that's not you can't already did Sarah took a sip from her own Quantum tunned coffee the precursors are really excited about it actually apparently they never thought to use quantum entanglement for beverage delivery they're helping me scale up the system think bigger
than coffee we could revolutionize emergency supply delivery Medical Transport even Sarah the captain's voice had that special tone reserved for moments when his human engineer was about to casually upend Galactic Civilization please tell me you haven't shared this technology with other humans yet well not directly but I may have posted the basic principles on the human Engineers quantum mechanics Forum you know that social network where we share interesting theoretical breakthroughs zix felt all four of his eyes trying to Twitch simultaneously the same Forum where last month someone figured out how to use a microwave to
create a temporary pocket universe hey that was a legitimate breakthrough in Quantum Gastronomy do you know how hard it is to perfectly heat a burrito in zg before the captain could formulate a response that adequately conveyed his concern about humans casually manipulating the fabric of reality for improved lunch options the ship's Communication System chimed Captain dex's voice came through carrying that particular tone of resignation unique to non-humans dealing with human induced phenomena we're getting some strange readings from the cargo bay something about localized dilation and spontaneously appearing coffee cups Sarah had the grace to look
slightly sheepish ah right forgot to account for Quantum resonance in a closed system don't worry I can fix that just need to adjust the temporal variance and maybe add a small black hole no black holes the entire crew shouted in unison their voices carrying the weight of experience even a tiny one for science Sarah the captain used his most authoritative mandible click what's our policy on artificial singularities inside the ship she sighed not before completing proper paperwork and getting approval from at least three different safety boards then she brightened but what about or any other
space-time anomalies he added quickly you guys are no fun but she was already modifying her device probably to make it slightly less reality breaking fine I'll stick to normal Quantum tunneling but I'm telling you we're missing out on some really interesting possibilities for bagel toasting the story spread quickly through the Spaceport as stories about human Engineers tend to do by the end of the day cycle three different regulatory bodies had issued emergency guidelines about Quantum beverage Transportation two major shipping corporations had tried to hire Sarah away from the Star scavenger with increasingly ridiculous offers and
the galactic patent office had to create an entirely new classification for physics adjacent Innovations in the bar the bartender was still dispensing wisdom to the white-eyed graduates so remember they said polishing a glass with one appendage while mixing drinks with three others if you ever find yourself on a crew with a human engineer there are three important rules one never say anything is impossible they take it as a personal challenge two always check your coffee for quantum entanglement before drinking and three keep your insurance paid up what about the thing with the black holes one
of the graduates asked the bartender's color shifting skin rippled with Amusement kid that's rule zero no artificial singularities before filing the paperwork we learned that one the hard way after the great Bagel incident of 2247 the what story for another time but let's just say there's a reason why human Engineers are required to take a course called why we don't break physics before breakfast before getting their licenses these days above the bar displayed proudly next to various Salvage licenses and safety certificates hung a small sign that seemed to sum up the Galaxy 's General attitude
toward human Engineers warning this establishment serves caffeinated beverages to human Engineers management is not responsible for any resulting violations of physical laws temporal paradoxes or spontaneous technological revolutions please check your coffee for quantum entanglement before consumption and somewhere aboard the star scavenger Sarah Chen was already working on her next Impossible Project because that's what Engineers do they make the impossible possible one broken law of physics at a time usually before breakfast and always always with coffee the end
