we've all had conversations that feel forced or boring or are filled with awkward silences it can be almost painful like this next clip so like country music or do you like country yeah cool so in this video we're going to go over five steps to make small talk with anyone we'll do so by breaking down some tricks that joe rogan uses on his podcast to connect with everyone from academics to athletes to celebrities some will be mindsets and some will be word for word questions you can steal these habits are a big reason why so
many of joe's conversations end like this bob sagan i love you i love you thank you buddy thank you it was a lot of fun this was great this was great thank you very much thank you i really enjoyed this man i really enjoyed it tell people i always appreciate you man really do thanks and i really appreciate you too most people have their guard up when they first meet you they aren't sure if you're going to be competitive or try to put them down in some way so the first trick you can steal from
joe is to grease the wheels early with a compliment this isn't something you have to do to make a small talk go well but it helps you start the conversation with a positive vibe there's a lot of potential compliments you could give someone that said there's three easy types you can focus on for small talk their work their energy or a platonic physical complement with those three options you should be able to complement almost anyone you meet here's a quick example of each thank you very much for being here i'm a really big fan so
this is an honor i love being around people like you my guy people around you you people like you you're you're going for [ __ ] all the time and it's infectious it's like you're you you give off energy nice to meet you good to meet you too by the way congrats on the mustache the mustache lower piece combo that's uh the anarchist guy with that guy that who's the mask oh the guy fawkes that's right yeah perfect right people make three common mistakes when giving compliments that you'll want to avoid the first is making
the compliment too sexual second is making a compliment you don't mean which makes you seem manipulative the third is dwelling on the compliment a compliment is great but especially with people of high status who hear compliments all the time you'll want to transition off of it fairly quickly in general transitioning off of an introduction and into an interesting conversation is one of the hardest parts of small talk the best way to do this is by transitioning between topics using reminds me of thinking for example with josh barnett joe starts the conversation in his standard way
by complimenting his beard how long have you been drawing that [ __ ] that's a real one after josh responds joe does what most people would do and starts talking about his own hair but very quickly he uses that to toss out a new potential topic probably 35 i started growing like serious back hair i'm not like who's that russian wrestler dude is this one oh uh well there was this guy uh victor zangief who who actually did professional wrestling that guy was just coated in it oh yeah right there's another guy solomon hashemica most
people make the mistake of thinking very linearly during small talk so they'd simply comment on their own hair and then stare over at you hoping that you would take the conversation somewhere interesting just by tossing out that his back hair reminds him of a russian wrestler joe and josh are able to spend the next four minutes talking about various wrestlers and mma fighters it's a simple habit to build and makes a huge difference in the quality of your small talk here's another quick example with rob lowe rob asks joe a question about baseball which joe
doesn't seem interested in talking about most people here would just say something like no not really and let the conversation stall instead joe uses lateral thinking to transition to something else are you a fan of the of the baseball with the crowd noise and crowd noise no i'm not a fan of fake noise i i hate that some cars do that they put fake engine noise through the speakers oh jesus exactly because he didn't just answer the question but instead asked himself what fake sound in a baseball stadium reminds him of they were able to
transition to cars a topic it turns out they both love so next time you're in conversation and can't think of anything to say it's as simple as asking yourself what does this remind me of and then branch off in whatever direction first comes to your mind in both those cases you see another common habit of joe's he pings for topics of mutual interest joe is infamous for doing this by bringing up dmt in every conversation good dmt dmt dmt dmt emt dmt dmt when a guest doesn't know what it is it just goes by the
wayside but when they do it's an immediate connection this will keep you genuinely interested in the conversation joe is a master at doing this in the other direction as well he has two tricks to get other people excited about the conversation they're both super easy to do but most people don't do them which is why small talk feels so painful at times for example here's a common small talk conversation where are you from originally i'm from wilmington delaware wilmington delaware i don't i don't know many people from delaware thank you yeah what is wilmington like
nice town yeah it's great where are you from is it nice there these are boring questions that no one is going to be excited to answer unless they already like you it's very similar but watch what joe asks instead why utah man why you live in utah what's that about joe peels the onion he goes one level deeper by asking why questions that get someone talking about what they value this may seem hard to work into a conversation but it's actually quite simple you just do it in two phases where do you live that's cool
why do you live there what do you do for work interesting why did you decide to do that even if the person doesn't love where they live you'll get to hear what's important to them maybe it's their job their family a passion whatever it is now you know what's important to them and can ask a question about that which they're much more likely to want to talk about this ties directly into the second trick joe uses he asks questions that are fun to answer for example an issue you might run into with small talk is
that some people don't have anything interesting going on in their lives to share about one way to get them past that block is to ask a fun question that removes the constraint of having to be realistic here's a few examples if you had a magic wand and someone said you could do whatever you want to fix this what would you do you were the king of the world said ed what are we going to do let's say you become president pulling both tricks together a great decision tree of questions to get an interesting conversation going
can be what do you do then as a follow-up do you like it if they say yes you can ask why and elicit their values if they say no you can ask well if you had 100 million dollars what would you do instead joe also has two habits for creating a connection with people while listening the first is he laughs easily this makes it more fun to talk to him because it makes you feel good for being funny even when you aren't trying to be for instance watch him react when elon musk talks about selling
flamethrowers through the boring company how many did you make twenty thousand and they're all gone here's another example where joe laughs at what dan balzerian is saying even though dan isn't trying to make a joke and i was single and i was just like you know what [ __ ] i'm just kind of kind of like do bucket list [ __ ] like whatever like whatever i wanted to do when i was a kid i'm just gonna [ __ ] do it he's able to find humor in the absurd and in both cases you see
the other person light up a bit as they get a laugh from joe for another example watch david blaine's big smile after he accidentally makes joe laugh choked out as euphoric right yeah exactly except this one's even better and then you have all these dreams no no it makes it sound exciting the goal here is not to fake laugh what you want to do is allow yourself to laugh every time you find something funny laughing is a habit that gets easier the more you do it so if you struggle to laugh when you're out with
friends or in conversation with strangers a good habit is to watch something you know will make you laugh right before going out this will help you be in a better state to laugh in conversation the second habit joe has when listening is mirroring there's several ways to mirror but joe's is most similar to ex-fbi negotiator chris vos's method the mirroring that i teach is much more simplistic and interestingly enough has a great impact on how the other person interacts with you and it's just repeating the last one to three words that they've said word for
word one to three words or it's repeating a selected one to three words here's a quick example where he mirrors to make you feel heard it's not like i wanna like take over the world i just wanna like make a good living doing what i love that's all i want you know and it's it's [ __ ] hard i know it's hard here's a different example this time he mirrors to build rapport with jordan peterson before taking control of the conversation or king what's it what do you call him prime minister trudeau that fella the
caster lover the castro lover i was just gonna say that this [ __ ] guy don't do this after every sentence but if you find you want to make someone feel heard or you want to interrupt without making the person feel ignored mirror their last three words also it's worth noting while joe does mirror people's words he is not a chameleon he stays true to himself and his style for instance jordan peterson is a polite guy who wears a suit and chooses his words carefully but you just saw joe chatting with him in a hoodie
dropping f-bombs in the first minute so you want to mirror someone's last few words as a quick hack to build a bit of rapport but you don't want to copy everything about someone stay true to yourself and have confidence in who you are if that's something you'd like more help with i think the fastest way to build true social confidence in yourself in a meaningful way is with our program charisma university it's a step-by-step guided program guaranteed to give you more charisma and confidence in 30 days now you can read all about the details in
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